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Topic : What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

Number of Replies: 448
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:37:55 pm
Author : dataimport
It's time to reflect on what makes us stay at an unhealthy weight. Share your story and get support from others who understand.

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September 7, 2005, 9:55 am CDT

kissymouth

Why are you so set against people trying to get healthy? If you are so sure that there is no way you can lose weight and that other people should not even try and should have the negative attitude that you do then why read the weight loss message boards at all? I am sure that you have heard the expression: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. People come on here and post to make themselves feel good, the same reason we are trying to lose weight and be healthy. You should not take it upon yourself to try and depress everyone else just because you are. If you honestly do all the working out and eating right and don't lose weight, or worse, gain; then you need to see a doctor and find out what is wrong with your body. And I am sorry but I am a lot more inclined to believe 100's of doctors and nutritionists when they say that fat is not inherited then saying that I should not even try to be healthy because my parents were overweight, that is just an excuse. Sorry if I seem a little peeved, I just hate when someone tries to bring everyone down to their level of unhappiness, depression, and excuses.  

 
September 12, 2005, 2:13 pm CDT

Isn't that the million calorie question?

Hey all:  What is my payoff for being overweight?  That is something I am going to have to put a great deal of thought into.  Anyone got any answers to the question?  I know that I love food.  I know that it tastes good.  I know that it is all about instant gratification.  I don't think long term. Then comes the question what is my pay off of instant gratification?  I feel that it is the only thing in my life that I have any kind of control over.  I am the only one who can make me eat.  I am the only one who can put that food into my mouth and swallow it.  Then comes the question what is my pay off for having contol over my life.  Isn't life merely a roll of the dice.  We truly have no control over our own lives and what will be will be.  The guy upstairs already has everything planned out for us and whether we are big or small, short of tall etc.....hasn't that already been determined?  I love Dr. Phil's quotes....."How's that workin' for ya" and "what's the payoff" .  Right now it isn't working at all and my pay off is a whole lot of grief.  I need to find a much better pay off that works for me. 

Thanks for listening.  DEB 

 
September 12, 2005, 2:53 pm CDT

Overweight and Trying

Quote From: angelahuts

Why are you so set against people trying to get healthy? If you are so sure that there is no way you can lose weight and that other people should not even try and should have the negative attitude that you do then why read the weight loss message boards at all? I am sure that you have heard the expression: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. People come on here and post to make themselves feel good, the same reason we are trying to lose weight and be healthy. You should not take it upon yourself to try and depress everyone else just because you are. If you honestly do all the working out and eating right and don't lose weight, or worse, gain; then you need to see a doctor and find out what is wrong with your body. And I am sorry but I am a lot more inclined to believe 100's of doctors and nutritionists when they say that fat is not inherited then saying that I should not even try to be healthy because my parents were overweight, that is just an excuse. Sorry if I seem a little peeved, I just hate when someone tries to bring everyone down to their level of unhappiness, depression, and excuses.  

Look, I'm am not trying to bring anyone down.  I feel I have a right to say what I feel also. I am not being rude or using bad language.  All I'm saying is that it's dishearting to see so many people blaming themselves for being overweight.  Just because my views are different than most on here doesn't mean I'm what you say I am. You couldn't be more wrong. I am not saying no one should try. I am just telling my experience is all. I am not depressed either. I am 50 and have been through alot myself with my weight. I am very sorry if I offended anyone here, that was not my intentions.  I am only going by MY experience. It would seem just because mine are different than yours that I'm not welcomed here. When in fact mine are really not so  different.  Also, and yes I have been told that it is mostly genics, and it depends on who you listen to what you believe. Some say it is, some say it's %50 genics some say it is not at all.  Thats my point, no one really knows. I haven't said anything mean on here either.  Last I heard this is a free country and people can speak their minds. I am expressing that right. I am not being ugly about it. Maybe you are bitter and thats why you read something into my post that wasn't there. I am not bitter anymore, I use to be, but I've come to learn that it's not worth it.  I will not beat myself up over this anymore is all. I am happy and for the most part healthy. I have a wonderful husband and family life.  I have been checked out by doctors, they have no answers either. Except that maybe the reasnon why I can no longer able lose weight is because I've done it so much back and forth through my life that I've ruined myself by trying and retrying, gaining and relosing. Thats why I'm hear, maybe someone will here me out there and not judge me for what I have experienced.  Thanks for listening again. SORRY if I made people mad, that was not my intentions.
 
September 13, 2005, 8:48 am CDT

Sometimes losing weight is VERY difficult.

Quote From: kissymouth

Look, I'm am not trying to bring anyone down.  I feel I have a right to say what I feel also. I am not being rude or using bad language.  All I'm saying is that it's dishearting to see so many people blaming themselves for being overweight.  Just because my views are different than most on here doesn't mean I'm what you say I am. You couldn't be more wrong. I am not saying no one should try. I am just telling my experience is all. I am not depressed either. I am 50 and have been through alot myself with my weight. I am very sorry if I offended anyone here, that was not my intentions.  I am only going by MY experience. It would seem just because mine are different than yours that I'm not welcomed here. When in fact mine are really not so  different.  Also, and yes I have been told that it is mostly genics, and it depends on who you listen to what you believe. Some say it is, some say it's %50 genics some say it is not at all.  Thats my point, no one really knows. I haven't said anything mean on here either.  Last I heard this is a free country and people can speak their minds. I am expressing that right. I am not being ugly about it. Maybe you are bitter and thats why you read something into my post that wasn't there. I am not bitter anymore, I use to be, but I've come to learn that it's not worth it.  I will not beat myself up over this anymore is all. I am happy and for the most part healthy. I have a wonderful husband and family life.  I have been checked out by doctors, they have no answers either. Except that maybe the reasnon why I can no longer able lose weight is because I've done it so much back and forth through my life that I've ruined myself by trying and retrying, gaining and relosing. Thats why I'm hear, maybe someone will here me out there and not judge me for what I have experienced.  Thanks for listening again. SORRY if I made people mad, that was not my intentions.
I understand what your saying, Kissy. I'm 48 years old and it gets more difficult with age. When I was younger, all I had to do was either cut back on eating or exercise to lose flab. Now, I have to stick to strict eating programs AND exercise daily. It's not impossible though.
I concentrate on what I want to accomplish with my body, not what dress size I'd like to be. My husband and I climbed a 14,000 ft. mountain this summer, so I have been concentrating on building muscle, not losing weight. Now that we've accomplished our goal, I'm back to getting my waistline back because my pants are tight.
Make no mistake about it though, it's work. It's all worth it though.
 
September 14, 2005, 12:46 pm CDT

IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE

Quote From: ritehere

I understand what your saying, Kissy. I'm 48 years old and it gets more difficult with age. When I was younger, all I had to do was either cut back on eating or exercise to lose flab. Now, I have to stick to strict eating programs AND exercise daily. It's not impossible though.
I concentrate on what I want to accomplish with my body, not what dress size I'd like to be. My husband and I climbed a 14,000 ft. mountain this summer, so I have been concentrating on building muscle, not losing weight. Now that we've accomplished our goal, I'm back to getting my waistline back because my pants are tight.
Make no mistake about it though, it's work. It's all worth it though.
I understand what you are saying.  But, I guess I am just different than most people.  I know it is not impossible to lose, but what I have to do to do it is just extremely tiring.  I've done it so much until I am just sick of it.  I've lost, gained, lost, gained over and over again.  I say it's time to stop this.  I am who I am and thats that.  I do eat the right foods and I do not eat much.  I get my exercise by gardening and yard work.  I still do not lose an ounce.  They only way I can  truely lose is to practicly starve and excersice myself to death, and even then it don't come off very well.  I've even tried NOT starving and just eatting proper.  NO GO.  So, I 've just excepted myself like I am.  I am happy and thats all that matters.  I say if you are overweight and not  happy then you do whatever you have to do to be happy.  But, I hate to see all of you blaming yourselves for this.  JUST STOP THAT!  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!  Thank you for your post... 
 
September 14, 2005, 3:29 pm CDT

Sorry Kissy,

Quote From: kissymouth

I understand what you are saying.  But, I guess I am just different than most people.  I know it is not impossible to lose, but what I have to do to do it is just extremely tiring.  I've done it so much until I am just sick of it.  I've lost, gained, lost, gained over and over again.  I say it's time to stop this.  I am who I am and thats that.  I do eat the right foods and I do not eat much.  I get my exercise by gardening and yard work.  I still do not lose an ounce.  They only way I can  truely lose is to practicly starve and excersice myself to death, and even then it don't come off very well.  I've even tried NOT starving and just eatting proper.  NO GO.  So, I 've just excepted myself like I am.  I am happy and thats all that matters.  I say if you are overweight and not  happy then you do whatever you have to do to be happy.  But, I hate to see all of you blaming yourselves for this.  JUST STOP THAT!  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!  Thank you for your post... 
 But I have to disagree with you on that. I won't speak for anybody but myself, but nobody tied me down and force-fed me. So therefore, IT WAS MY FAULT THAT I GOT FAT!! And I was not happy, I hated the way I looked, I hated the way I felt, and I hated the way I caved in everytime I felt bad for whatever reason and pigged out to make myself feel better.
The physical reason you get fat is very very simple, you eat more than you burn, so your body stores it as fat. The mental reasons you retain that fat body are more complex and harder to pin down and root out.
The fact that you have lost weight in the past, in fact more than once, shows that you DO know how to lose weight. The fact that you have always gained it back shows that you are unwilling to make the behaviors that helped you lose the weight life long behaviors. And the older we get, the more difficult it is. I have to work out an hour to an hour and a half EVERYDAY plus watch what I eat to lose weight. To maintain I relax either the eating or the workouts, but I still practice both everyday. And those workouts consist of walking at a clip of at least 4 mph for a distance of 3 to 5 miles, doing weights or other strength exercises, and stretches or Yoga.
Do I blame myself for my successful weight loss? You bet I do!
Do I blame myself for my improved blood values and kudos from my doctor? You bet I do!
Do I blame myself for my better, more happy and peaceful life? YOU BETCHA!

 
September 25, 2005, 9:17 am CDT

What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

Quote From: floria80

no matter what i do i can;t loose weight. and don;t have a tread mill and can;t afford one either. that might help some. brenda morgan

Hi Brenda, 

  

Try power walking with a walkman.  Walking is free. Set a walking goal for yourself every day.  Tell yourself, "No Excuses." No matter what the weather is like or what you feel like, just walk. Fit it into your schedule no matter what.  As Dr. Phil would say, "Behave your way to success!" 

  

Good luck and let us know your progress. 

  

Lor 

 
October 2, 2005, 6:31 pm CDT

Isn't that the million calorie question?

Quote From: nannahdeb

Hey all:  What is my payoff for being overweight?  That is something I am going to have to put a great deal of thought into.  Anyone got any answers to the question?  I know that I love food.  I know that it tastes good.  I know that it is all about instant gratification.  I don't think long term. Then comes the question what is my pay off of instant gratification?  I feel that it is the only thing in my life that I have any kind of control over.  I am the only one who can make me eat.  I am the only one who can put that food into my mouth and swallow it.  Then comes the question what is my pay off for having contol over my life.  Isn't life merely a roll of the dice.  We truly have no control over our own lives and what will be will be.  The guy upstairs already has everything planned out for us and whether we are big or small, short of tall etc.....hasn't that already been determined?  I love Dr. Phil's quotes....."How's that workin' for ya" and "what's the payoff" .  Right now it isn't working at all and my pay off is a whole lot of grief.  I need to find a much better pay off that works for me. 

Thanks for listening.  DEB 

I am no longer overweight.  I am considered to be clinically thin, even though I am about 7 pounds from goal weight.  I have lost 130 pounds and have seen numerous changes in my physical, mental and emotional bodies. 

  

Personally, the major payoff for me being overweight in the first place and then for staying that way for so long was my need to have a wall between me and other people and to have an excuse to be alone and lonely.  I look back now and see that I was mostly motivated by fear.  Fear of success, fear of relationships, fear of failure, fear of happiness, fear of sadness ... 

  

I tackled my bad eating and exercising habits a little bit at a time and I tackled the fear a little bit at a time.  I am desperately afraid sometimes, still, but now I don't hide behind food.   

  

Go slow, start slow, be easy on yourself. 

  

You can do it! 

 
October 3, 2005, 11:26 am CDT

Fault isn't the issue but...

Quote From: kissymouth

I understand what you are saying.  But, I guess I am just different than most people.  I know it is not impossible to lose, but what I have to do to do it is just extremely tiring.  I've done it so much until I am just sick of it.  I've lost, gained, lost, gained over and over again.  I say it's time to stop this.  I am who I am and thats that.  I do eat the right foods and I do not eat much.  I get my exercise by gardening and yard work.  I still do not lose an ounce.  They only way I can  truely lose is to practicly starve and excersice myself to death, and even then it don't come off very well.  I've even tried NOT starving and just eatting proper.  NO GO.  So, I 've just excepted myself like I am.  I am happy and thats all that matters.  I say if you are overweight and not  happy then you do whatever you have to do to be happy.  But, I hate to see all of you blaming yourselves for this.  JUST STOP THAT!  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!  Thank you for your post... 

not taking responsibility for the weight that is on YOUR bosy is a cop out!  Placing blame on others (runs in family etc.) is just trying to find an excuse for the weight...you know what though let's just say it isn't your fault if you are overweight but whose fault is it if you don't do anything about it?  Some people (myself included) eat when they aren't happy so yes I must dos omething about it... 

  

I do agree with your statement " I say if you are overweight and not  happy then you do whatever you have to do to be happy." which is what I am trying to.  I started UWC 8/1 and I have lost a total of 15 pounds and I am very happy to be doing this program.  i do not feel deprived or hungry like other diets I have been on.  My family and I are eating healthier... 

  

Can I ask if you have "just excepted myself like I am.  I am happy and thats all that matters" then why do you keep coming on here where others are trying to deal with their weight and change their lives and putting others down?  I think you misunderstood thsi board -- people on here are trying to find the reason they are overweight and to do so need to do soulsearching which may mean blaming themselves if that is the reason.  If it isn't your reason then that is great for you but let others figure out what is right for them and "do whatever they have to do to be happy."  

  

 
October 3, 2005, 11:31 am CDT

My payoff would be that unhealthy food tastes good...

and I kept telling myself you only live for a short while so I am going enjoy my life while I am here -- but then I realized that if I keep going with my weight that I won't be enjoying life because I am more prone to illnesses and diseases when eating unhealthy.  (as good as it tastes) 

  

So now I tell myself "No unhealthy food tastes as good as thin feels!"  

  

And you know what else?  I have found many healthy foods that taste too...I have changes my family's eating habits so all of us feel healthier and those of us that need to are losing weight too! 

  

  

 
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