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Topic : What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

Number of Replies: 448
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:37:55 pm
Author : dataimport
It's time to reflect on what makes us stay at an unhealthy weight. Share your story and get support from others who understand.

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October 4, 2005, 1:32 pm CDT

YES I HAVE LOST IN THE PAST

Quote From: ritehere

 But I have to disagree with you on that. I won't speak for anybody but myself, but nobody tied me down and force-fed me. So therefore, IT WAS MY FAULT THAT I GOT FAT!! And I was not happy, I hated the way I looked, I hated the way I felt, and I hated the way I caved in everytime I felt bad for whatever reason and pigged out to make myself feel better.
The physical reason you get fat is very very simple, you eat more than you burn, so your body stores it as fat. The mental reasons you retain that fat body are more complex and harder to pin down and root out.
The fact that you have lost weight in the past, in fact more than once, shows that you DO know how to lose weight. The fact that you have always gained it back shows that you are unwilling to make the behaviors that helped you lose the weight life long behaviors. And the older we get, the more difficult it is. I have to work out an hour to an hour and a half EVERYDAY plus watch what I eat to lose weight. To maintain I relax either the eating or the workouts, but I still practice both everyday. And those workouts consist of walking at a clip of at least 4 mph for a distance of 3 to 5 miles, doing weights or other strength exercises, and stretches or Yoga.
Do I blame myself for my successful weight loss? You bet I do!
Do I blame myself for my improved blood values and kudos from my doctor? You bet I do!
Do I blame myself for my better, more happy and peaceful life? YOU BETCHA!

Yes, I have lost in the past. But I was in my teens and early 20's then, like I said. Yes I know how to lose weight.  The last time I lost weight was in my mid 30"s, I kept it off for 8 years. Then it slowly started to come back even though I kept doing the same things was was doing, I even tried cutting back more and excercising more.  Everytime I got on the scales after the 8 years I'd gain a pound here and there and sometimes more.  I just think my body just didn't want to do this anymore. I have tried just plain eating healthy and exercising but I never lose, intstead I gain.  I know what I am talking about. Not all of us are the same. Yes, I've had my thyroids checked and everyting else, the doctors do not know . They just tell me to eat healthy. Which is what I do now. But I am still overweight.  Yes, I am active also. YES, I DO KNOW HOW TO DO IT! My body is not letting me at this time.. I am in menopause also. But I am happy now. I 've been thin, and to tell you the truth I really didn't feel all that great then. I feel better now. I know you won't believe that, but I can't hellp what anyone believes. It's the truth.   Thanks for your post...    

 
October 4, 2005, 1:42 pm CDT

OK

Quote From: puptent

not taking responsibility for the weight that is on YOUR bosy is a cop out!  Placing blame on others (runs in family etc.) is just trying to find an excuse for the weight...you know what though let's just say it isn't your fault if you are overweight but whose fault is it if you don't do anything about it?  Some people (myself included) eat when they aren't happy so yes I must dos omething about it... 

  

I do agree with your statement " I say if you are overweight and not  happy then you do whatever you have to do to be happy." which is what I am trying to.  I started UWC 8/1 and I have lost a total of 15 pounds and I am very happy to be doing this program.  i do not feel deprived or hungry like other diets I have been on.  My family and I are eating healthier... 

  

Can I ask if you have "just excepted myself like I am.  I am happy and thats all that matters" then why do you keep coming on here where others are trying to deal with their weight and change their lives and putting others down?  I think you misunderstood thsi board -- people on here are trying to find the reason they are overweight and to do so need to do soulsearching which may mean blaming themselves if that is the reason.  If it isn't your reason then that is great for you but let others figure out what is right for them and "do whatever they have to do to be happy."  

  

Ok, then I will leave you people alone if thats what you want. You  and some others are trying to make me out to be bad. Well, I am not bad. I just want you all to look outside the box for a change. That maybe, just maybe there is something else out there.  One day I HOPE YOU WILL REMEMBER ME AND SEE THAT MAYBE I WAS AT LEAST HALF WAY RIGHT.  But no, I know I will not be remembered at all. But thats ok, because I will be so happy for everyone when it's discovered that there is more to being obese than meets the eye.  SO, ok, I  will leave you all alone. You most likely will not see me anymore on these message boards. I am not a bad person, I just have other views than most others, I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way.  Sorry, if I've stepped on toes. Just wanted to open eyes to other thoughts is all...GOOD LUCK and just be happy...
 
October 5, 2005, 10:34 am CDT

You are not bad.

Quote From: kissymouth

Ok, then I will leave you people alone if thats what you want. You  and some others are trying to make me out to be bad. Well, I am not bad. I just want you all to look outside the box for a change. That maybe, just maybe there is something else out there.  One day I HOPE YOU WILL REMEMBER ME AND SEE THAT MAYBE I WAS AT LEAST HALF WAY RIGHT.  But no, I know I will not be remembered at all. But thats ok, because I will be so happy for everyone when it's discovered that there is more to being obese than meets the eye.  SO, ok, I  will leave you all alone. You most likely will not see me anymore on these message boards. I am not a bad person, I just have other views than most others, I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way.  Sorry, if I've stepped on toes. Just wanted to open eyes to other thoughts is all...GOOD LUCK and just be happy...
 I'm sorry if I ever gave you that impression. It's easy to take offense when you're posting on these boards, there's only your words and those little icons and emotes and mood statements. I think I speak for the others here though, it was disturbing to hear your "it's not your fault" spiel. For so many of us, it took damn near an act of God to punch through the denial and evasions and self lies we had to get to the root of why we keep this body armour called fat.
You never said how over weight you are, if you're only 10 to 15lbs over your "fighting weight" I readily agree that it's possible to be perfectly happy. But those who are uncomfortably over weight and suffering in many ways because of it would find your message incredibly discouraging. What you were saying was, "Don't worry, be happy, it's not your fault." This is exactly what they don't want or need to hear.
I can't help commenting on the fact that your weight gain appears to coincide with the major metabolism changes we all go through in life. And when you say eating healthy, whose standards of eating healthy are you referring to? I've found, for myself, that it's a personal quest for everyone. What is too many calories for one is perfect for somebody else, and same goes for portion sizes and nutrients. It's a very personal experiment in what is perfect for you.
 
October 6, 2005, 10:42 pm CDT

Haven't found my payoff yet

 Hi there.  This is my first post.  I find myself here because I am feeling pretty overwhelmed with my weight.   It's been an issue since I was a very young girl.  I can't count the portion of my life I've wasted freaking out about my weight.  I had my first child last year and had gestational diabetes.  I thought that was a wakeup call and began walking everyday.  That only lasted a few months and now I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life.  I'm a compulsive overeater.  I've never admitted that to anyone before.   I know what I have to do to lose weight...I've read all the books and understand nutrition and exercise.  But for some reason, I just never stick with it.  I  cannot figure out why I sabotage myself.  I read these boards and see people discussing their "Aha moment" and I'm really wanting mine.   But is that another stalling technique?  That I can't start taking control of my weight until I understand why I have a problem?  I'm all wrapped up in my head and am really tired of it.  Any advice?  
 
October 8, 2005, 8:53 am CDT

Dr Phil's books!

Quote From: kristen33

 Hi there.  This is my first post.  I find myself here because I am feeling pretty overwhelmed with my weight.   It's been an issue since I was a very young girl.  I can't count the portion of my life I've wasted freaking out about my weight.  I had my first child last year and had gestational diabetes.  I thought that was a wakeup call and began walking everyday.  That only lasted a few months and now I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life.  I'm a compulsive overeater.  I've never admitted that to anyone before.   I know what I have to do to lose weight...I've read all the books and understand nutrition and exercise.  But for some reason, I just never stick with it.  I  cannot figure out why I sabotage myself.  I read these boards and see people discussing their "Aha moment" and I'm really wanting mine.   But is that another stalling technique?  That I can't start taking control of my weight until I understand why I have a problem?  I'm all wrapped up in my head and am really tired of it.  Any advice?  
 I read SELF MATTERS and it made all the difference. In his weight loss book he refers to getting to your payoff, but doesn't go into it much because the focus of that book is weight loss. If you REALLY want to get in touch with who you are and where and how you aquired your "baggage" get SM. It's a difficult read, and there are some truly gut-wrenching exercises and inventories you take, but it's indispensable if you want to get to the bottom of things. For most of us eating fills a whole gamut of needs, for me it was everything but nutrition.
Now I see food for what it is, and I don't run to the refrigerator when I'm sad, stressed, angry, bored, or frustrated. I've found other ways to cope, and exercise is something I do for pleasure.

 
October 11, 2005, 4:40 pm CDT

New here

I've been lurking these boards for several hours now and decided to take the "plunge" and register!  I am so excited by the support and encouragement shown by the users here.  This is what I need!  I'm a 31 year old female that has battled with my weight since birth (I was 11 pounds!)  : ) I have a serious food addiction.  I'm now at my heaviest - 275 pounds.  I eat for every OTHER reason than hunger!  I'm looking forward to finding support through the experiences and challenges others face and am greatful that I'm not alone in this battle!
 
October 12, 2005, 10:38 am CDT

Welcome aboard!

Quote From: sherry9374

I've been lurking these boards for several hours now and decided to take the "plunge" and register!  I am so excited by the support and encouragement shown by the users here.  This is what I need!  I'm a 31 year old female that has battled with my weight since birth (I was 11 pounds!)  : ) I have a serious food addiction.  I'm now at my heaviest - 275 pounds.  I eat for every OTHER reason than hunger!  I'm looking forward to finding support through the experiences and challenges others face and am greatful that I'm not alone in this battle!
 Something I learned in my weight loss hypnotherapy class was that bottle fed babies can be taught at an early age to eat until it hurts. (The mother trying to get you to finish the bottle so as not to "waste" anything. This doesn't happen with breast-fed babies, they get what they need and they are done.) Mothers who also eat too many sugars and carbs, at the expense of adequate protein, can have large babies.

Do you have Dr Phil's ULTIMATE WEIGHT LOSS SOLUTION? It's an excellent place to start. Good luck!


 
October 12, 2005, 3:10 pm CDT

Weight loss

Quote From: ritehere

 I read SELF MATTERS and it made all the difference. In his weight loss book he refers to getting to your payoff, but doesn't go into it much because the focus of that book is weight loss. If you REALLY want to get in touch with who you are and where and how you aquired your "baggage" get SM. It's a difficult read, and there are some truly gut-wrenching exercises and inventories you take, but it's indispensable if you want to get to the bottom of things. For most of us eating fills a whole gamut of needs, for me it was everything but nutrition.
Now I see food for what it is, and I don't run to the refrigerator when I'm sad, stressed, angry, bored, or frustrated. I've found other ways to cope, and exercise is something I do for pleasure.

I've read the weight loss book but what is the SM book "Self Matters".  Sorry I have to ask to be sure. 

  

Thanks, 

 
October 13, 2005, 9:51 am CDT

SELF MATTERS

Quote From: adibella1

I've read the weight loss book but what is the SM book "Self Matters".  Sorry I have to ask to be sure. 

  

Thanks, 

 It's an older book by Dr Phil. You can find it here to order, or in the self-help section in book stores, or probably even the library. The doc takes you step by step into your thinking and reasoning processes. On the way you discover how you aquired the baggage you haul around in your life, how to get rid of it, and how to make better decisions and feel good about yourself in the future. I can't thank the doctor enough for the changes in my life because of this book.
 
October 14, 2005, 3:29 pm CDT

safety

I am overweight.  I know this...anyone with vision sees this.  If I lose weight (in the past I have lost 40 # and 13 1/2") and become an attractive person, my husband is threatened.  If I remain heavy, I am unhealthy and have low selfworth.  I am a pretty girl and very smart.  I have a good job that I'm good at.  How can I excell and not be a threat?  There really is no payoff...just knowing that at least for the moment I am safe from accusations
 
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