Message Boards

Topic : What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

Number of Replies: 448
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:37:55 pm
Author : dataimport
It's time to reflect on what makes us stay at an unhealthy weight. Share your story and get support from others who understand.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

August 28, 2005, 3:42 pm CDT

Your Human

Quote From: marcia52

For me, it was me not dealing with my life by bringing closure to long time events.  Everytime I read Weight loss Solutions, I kept finding myself thinking about everything but losing weight so I decided what the heck and read Self Matters to help me to learn how to catch my tapes & scripts.  It only took me about a year & half to finally be able to re-read the book and be able to keep my mind on my weight loss thoughts.  I figured that if I've been yo-yoing for years and years, what was wrong with just spending the time to do it Dr. Phil's way.   

  

It was the best decision I've ever made.  If I never lose another pound, I've finally found peace of mind.  I've bought closure to the 2 - 1999 events that were in still running amok in my life last year.  Now, I've learned to bring closure immediately or as soon as I can.  It's just so nice to finally be able to hear me say nice things about myself to me and know they are the truth. 

  

What is hard for me now, is learning to be nice to myself if I fall off the wagon or not lose the weight I wanted to lose cause I'm at a plateau or I see the inches lost and not the weight.  But I finally figured out that I'm being given the opportunity to learn how to be nice to me. 

  

It takes patience and it takes being kind to yourself and dumping the guilt trip we put ourselves on. 

Maybe you eat because your human. It's human nature to eat. Most of us all love to eat. It's just that some show the weight and some don't. Some, like me eat normal, but there is something in some of us that cause us to show it on our bodies. One day they will figure it out. I HOPE.
 
August 28, 2005, 3:49 pm CDT

New Message Board

Quote From: ruthmbooth

Hello Everyone, This day will soon came to an end. What have I done that  

really makes a difference? I feel that my messages have fallen on a bunch 

of deaf ears. I don't want to be sarcastic; but somebody has missed the boat 

right along with me.(giggle) Do you have a since of humor? Hugs, Ruth Marie 

 

I do not like the new message board. For one, you can't back space in the message title. Another thing is some of the letters are repeats. To me it's confusing.  OH WELLLLL...Yea, something is wrong with the board. I agree, someone has missed the boat.
 
August 29, 2005, 10:25 am CDT

How I got started.

Quote From: changing

Gosh...comfort eating has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember...and it's always felt shameful.  I can remember sneaking second and third pudding pops in the 3rd grade and hiding the wrappers.  'Get in touch with what I'm feeling' seems so easy...I'm bored/tired/lonely...food will help! At first I deny myself and then I become rebellious against the diet mind and voila, I'm eating...   

  

When I'm not one of those I think, hey next time I feel that way I'll take a walk/bath/nap instead of eat but when those feelings strike, all that seems like too much of an effort or something.  I definitley have some work cut out for me.   

  

How'd you get started?  How'd you start breaking these habits? 

I started like everybody else with weight problems, by trying diet after diet. You either learn from each one or you don't. I lost my weight before Dr Phil wrote his UWLS book, but what he says is right on the mark.
The first thing I learned was that will power only gets you so far. I could lose the weight until will power petered out, or stress hit, or vacation came along, whatever. I also learned that I am very sensitive to some foods, not a true allergy, but close. I do better with low carb diets, food cravings disappear when I stick to them. You must learn as much as possible about your body and metabolism. We're all different, and different foods affect us differently. Some do better on low diets, some on low-carb.
Next, I had to learn to manage stress and other triggers. This is programming and arranging your environment. This is crucial to long-term success. If you don't get this down, you'll just gain it all back.
Dr Phil's book is excellent for teaching you all of these things. Other great tools and be hypnotherapy. I went to a group weight loss hypnotherapy class. It had a tremendous affect on my attitude and replacing the "tapes" in my head with ones that helped me stay the course.
Dr Phil's SELF MATTERS is good to help you understand yourself and your pay-offs. Losing weight is all about changing your life habits, so understanding how you got these attitudes and coping skills to begin with is invaluable.
And always remember one thing, you never fail at a diet if you learned the lesson of why it didn't work. Then you can apply the lesson and keep progressing. Plateaus are just "breaks" and contain their own lessons too, don't give up when you hit one.

 
August 29, 2005, 10:32 am CDT

Kissymouth

Quote From: kissymouth

Payoff? huh? Not everyone is the same. To me there is NO payoff. I eat normal and am still overweight. Would you tell a thin person that goes to the frig to go take a walk or do something else? I don't think soooooooo. We all love to eat, this is a fact, but some of us show it and some do not. It's not fair, but thats life, RIGHT?
 Why so angry? I agree, not everyone is the same, but enough of us eat for similar reasons that we can be a source of help and support for others. If you are OK with your size and shape why are you here?
 
August 29, 2005, 1:01 pm CDT

You can correct stuff in the message title....

Quote From: kissymouth

I do not like the new message board. For one, you can't back space in the message title. Another thing is some of the letters are repeats. To me it's confusing.  OH WELLLLL...Yea, something is wrong with the board. I agree, someone has missed the boat.

Your HOME & END keys work up there.  Once you have pressed home, you can use your cursor key (the key with RIGHT ARROW on it by your number pad).  You can delete. 

  

Then press the END key so you can return to the spot where you left off 

  

I know that on my keyboard, my cursor key allows me to go back a few characters so I don't have to use the HOME key. 

  

 
August 29, 2005, 1:42 pm CDT

ME ANGRY??

Quote From: ritehere

 Why so angry? I agree, not everyone is the same, but enough of us eat for similar reasons that we can be a source of help and support for others. If you are OK with your size and shape why are you here?
I am not angry. I am just posting like everyone else, and stating my opinons like everyone else. I'm here because I find it interesting to read these post. How so many on here do not seem to see what the real source of their being overweight is.  You all seem to me like you blame yourselves, when in fact it is not your fault.  Yes, some of people do truly overeat, but alot of us do not. No matter what Dr. Phil says it IS genics, that cause MOST people being overweight.  I've lost and gained so many times it's tiring. I am 50 now and I have come to finially realize that worrying myself to death over being thin is just not productive. Heath issues? Yea well, i'd say about over 50% of thin people are not too healthy either.  I do eat right and I do get natural exercise, but am still very overweight.  I am healthy also, no matter what anyone says. No hight blood pressure, no diabeties, etc. I am also going to say this:(which I know I'll get a lot of flack from) that MOST, not all but I'd say MOST of greatly overweight people that lose a great amount of weight will eventually gain it back.  I kept mine off this last time for 8 years and it came back no matter what I did, even tho I kept doing the same thing, my body just got tired of doing what it didn't want to do. I was jogging 5 miles a day 6 days a week, riding bikes, and lifting weights and more, but it still came back. I ate right also. No, I do not have issues, I've had weight problems since I was 5 yr's old. IT's just ME. I am a happy person, married to a wonderful husband and have a good life. I am on here because I wish others can see this. If you feel you should lose weight then you should do it, but don't let outside things influence you. Don't make it your whole life, don't let it consume you, don't let it make it be what is on your mind 24/7. DO IT FOR YOU ONLY! Thanks for listening.
 
September 4, 2005, 9:57 pm CDT

payoff

This is my first time on this message board. I am having a little trouble following some of the post. I guess I just need to get use to it.  

   

I had to join in on the payoff as to being overweight or over eating how ever you want to see it.  

   

Actually I don't know what my pay off is.  The only thing I can come up with is immediate gratification.     I became disabled in 1986 I had 2 toddlers and it was all I could do to eat so weight gain wasn't as easy.  When my childern were little I had them to fill up my life. I am housebound for the most part due to inner ear disease I developed in 1986. I have a problem with my balance now so I don't drive or work.  My sons are now grown. I am at home and have little to keep me occupied. I kind of eat for entertainment and to get enjoyment from something.  Going back about 8 years ago. I was very depressed and truthfully wanted to die. I didn't want to die like someone suffering severly.  Just kind of hoped that if I died in my sleep or something it would be nice.   

  

I really thought if I over ate and made myself sick I might die.  Like a chocolate over dose. I am not being funny here or trying to make a joke out of a very serious think like suicide.  I know there are those that suffer severely and do commit suicide. It was a vague kind of depression.  Like I had become invisable and unimportant.  I had lost my sense of myself from being at home and not working or driving any longer. Now I know doctor Phil tells people stuff about they are a good person and worth while. And that might be true in the moral sense that we all have purpose.  But in the real world we are judged and valued differently.   

  

I couldn't do simple things even getting dresssed to go out of the house was pointless.  I have husband  he has always worked at least two jobs.    I started eating bags of semi sweet chocolate morsels.  I would eat a bad every couple days.  And one thing lead to another.  When I didn't get more sick than I thought I should I would eat a whole cake or 12 donuts. I gained weight and gained weight.  In time I kind of forgot the reason I started it all. And now I eat candy and sweets all day.  I don't eat much regular food.   

  

I am 5' 1" and weight 170 pounds now. I have lost weight a few times but never keep it off. It seems so pointless to be sitting in the house almost 24 hours a day not seeing anyone and caring what I look like. I know we are suppose to loose weight for ourselves but for me its non motivating.  I hope this doesn't come across as stupid or wierd. Its the truth for me.  So I don't have a real pay off except the immediate gratification that comes with eating and just liking the way it taste.    I realize I am in a bit of a different situtation than other people that have more quality to their lives. I am sure if I was still working and being productive with more social life I probably would eat better and live  differently.  All that said I do feel really disgusted when I look in the mirror and I look like someone else.  But then in a way its like my body finally became unfamilar to me the same as my health did.  Its to depressing thinking about when I wasn't overweight as that part of my life and  the years before becoming disabled are over with.    

   

Linda  

 
September 6, 2005, 1:34 pm CDT

Oh, but chocolate does contain a pay-off!

Quote From: lindyma

This is my first time on this message board. I am having a little trouble following some of the post. I guess I just need to get use to it.  

   

I had to join in on the payoff as to being overweight or over eating how ever you want to see it.  

   

Actually I don't know what my pay off is.  The only thing I can come up with is immediate gratification.     I became disabled in 1986 I had 2 toddlers and it was all I could do to eat so weight gain wasn't as easy.  When my childern were little I had them to fill up my life. I am housebound for the most part due to inner ear disease I developed in 1986. I have a problem with my balance now so I don't drive or work.  My sons are now grown. I am at home and have little to keep me occupied. I kind of eat for entertainment and to get enjoyment from something.  Going back about 8 years ago. I was very depressed and truthfully wanted to die. I didn't want to die like someone suffering severly.  Just kind of hoped that if I died in my sleep or something it would be nice.   

  

I really thought if I over ate and made myself sick I might die.  Like a chocolate over dose. I am not being funny here or trying to make a joke out of a very serious think like suicide.  I know there are those that suffer severely and do commit suicide. It was a vague kind of depression.  Like I had become invisable and unimportant.  I had lost my sense of myself from being at home and not working or driving any longer. Now I know doctor Phil tells people stuff about they are a good person and worth while. And that might be true in the moral sense that we all have purpose.  But in the real world we are judged and valued differently.   

  

I couldn't do simple things even getting dresssed to go out of the house was pointless.  I have husband  he has always worked at least two jobs.    I started eating bags of semi sweet chocolate morsels.  I would eat a bad every couple days.  And one thing lead to another.  When I didn't get more sick than I thought I should I would eat a whole cake or 12 donuts. I gained weight and gained weight.  In time I kind of forgot the reason I started it all. And now I eat candy and sweets all day.  I don't eat much regular food.   

  

I am 5' 1" and weight 170 pounds now. I have lost weight a few times but never keep it off. It seems so pointless to be sitting in the house almost 24 hours a day not seeing anyone and caring what I look like. I know we are suppose to loose weight for ourselves but for me its non motivating.  I hope this doesn't come across as stupid or wierd. Its the truth for me.  So I don't have a real pay off except the immediate gratification that comes with eating and just liking the way it taste.    I realize I am in a bit of a different situtation than other people that have more quality to their lives. I am sure if I was still working and being productive with more social life I probably would eat better and live  differently.  All that said I do feel really disgusted when I look in the mirror and I look like someone else.  But then in a way its like my body finally became unfamilar to me the same as my health did.  Its to depressing thinking about when I wasn't overweight as that part of my life and  the years before becoming disabled are over with.    

   

Linda  

 Did you know that sugar is a very short term mood enhancer, and chocolate has caffeine in it? So when you initially started preferring chocolate to cope with boredom and depression, there was a chemically based reason. And even though it's not the quick death your looking for, it can do the job in the long run if you want it to. You just have to be willing to settle for more and more physical limitations as time goes on. You don't leave the house now, but you could work yourself into a situation where you don't leave the couch, or the bedroom!
Do you have access to public transportation? Now that your children are grown you can do all kinds of things, you just need to stop telling yourself that you can't. The motivation may be harder to come up with than the plan. I would look into some short term medication for depression, just so you can see what you're missing and as motivation to get better and healthier. Emphasis on temperary and short term though, you don't want to just replace your chocolate addiction with another.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
 
September 6, 2005, 3:50 pm CDT

What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

I guess I could be getting some chemical reaction from chocolate.  We don't have a bus line thats near me. I couldn't use it even if there was.  My type of disability I don't go anywhere by myself. I have no balance function and to ride a bus would be difficult.  I know this is a complicated situation. 

Thanks for the suggestion.   

  

Linda M   

 
September 7, 2005, 8:26 am CDT

Are you a member of a church?

Quote From: lindyma

I guess I could be getting some chemical reaction from chocolate.  We don't have a bus line thats near me. I couldn't use it even if there was.  My type of disability I don't go anywhere by myself. I have no balance function and to ride a bus would be difficult.  I know this is a complicated situation. 

Thanks for the suggestion.   

  

Linda M   

 Many churches have organizations set up to bus the handicapped or elderly to do their shopping and other things. If you don't attend church now, you may want to look into it. They usually have bus service for shut-ins to attend if you don't have anybody at home to take you.
I know it can be scary to start the process of getting out, but nobody else will do it for you. The first step has to be taken by you. There are usually community programs in place, but you have to initiate the first contact. You will never know the rewards of branching out till you try.
Good luck to you.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last