Topic : Raising a Special Needs Child

My daughter is 8 and was diagnosed with bipolar 3 years ago. We have tried numerous medications and we still haven't figured out the right combination. She was hospitalized twice in 6 months. She also can be the most loving and affectionate child but one second later she can go to the extreme opposite. I recently sent her to a residential treatment facility. I actually suggested to Dr. Phil that he do a show on these places. She has been there for a month and I'm still unsure how I feel about it. It has been very tough and a lot of crying between the 2 of us but I thought it would be the best thing for her.

 

Maybe it is the particular facility she is at but she is making accusations of things that the staff members say and do to her. I tell her clinician what she tells me and nothing has been solved yet. She tells me is looking into things but she believes Abbie is making these stories up to get out. I'm not convinced of that because she goes into such great detail and again she is only 8.

 

I though this would be a great oppurtunity for her to be put on a good combination of medication and to learn as much as she can about her disorder. But instead I think she is going to be leaving, learning things that no 8 year old she know.

 

She asked me yesterday who Emily Rose is? I asker her why? She said that is what they call me. So i asked her who they is. She said the staff. I was appalled by this. Is this exceptable to them? I don't know if you are familiar who Emily Rose is. She is the girl who is possessed in the movie the Exorcism of Emily Rose. But again this will be blown off like it is no big deal.

 

I am fighting to get her tranfered cause again I hop that it is just the facility. But I wish I had better answers for you cause I know what you are going through. God bless you and your family. I don't think a residentail facility would be such a bad idea if you really look into the place before hand. Try and find the best there is in your area. Good luck to you.

 

I have been a single mom for the past 9 years.  I have two children, a 14 year old son and an 11 year old daughter.  My daughter is a piece of cake.  Respectful, sweet, nurturning, loving, etc... my son on the other hand is a different story.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, however I don't believe that is his primary problem,  I truly believe he is bi-polar, and needs more help than I have been able to find for him. 

 

He has been on meds since he was 9 years old.  He probably should have been on them long before that, but I was avidly against them for years.  I just thought he was a "spirited" little guy, that never walked, always ran, jumped from couch to couch, or table to table.  People used to ask me if he knew how to walk because he ran and climbed everywhere we went!  Until he started declining in school, I didn't even consider meds. 

 

The scary thing about my son is his rage.  He gets so angry, that he scares me.  His sister has been in the emergency room at his hand more than once.  He slammed the door on her face when she was a baby and her finger was in the hinge and she had to get it sewn back on, he stuck her in the eye with a protractor when she was about 4, he has pushed her off of the bed and caused her to need stitches in her face, he has punched her, kicked her, pulled her hair, and hurt her more times than I can count.  He does nothing for himself, if he is hungry he will call for me or his sister to get him something, and she does it because she is afraid not to. 

 

In November he was arrested for assault against me.  He was angry with me because I wouldn't take him somewhere he wanted to go (because of his behavior earlier in the day), and he called me to find out when I was coming to get him to take him and his friend to our local arcade sort of place.  When I explained to him that his behavior didn't warrant a reward, he proceeded to break any and all glass that he could find within his reach.  When I got home (just a few moments later) he was laying on his bed reading a magazine like nothing had happened.  With me were my boyfriend, my best friend (who was visiting me from California) and my daughter.  I went into his room to talk to him, and tell him he needed to clean up all of the broken glass that was covering my entire livingroom, dining room, and kitchen.  He told me he was not cleaning it up, and never would.  I grabbed his arm, and told him he needed to get up and come with me, and he hit me.  By the end of this argument, he had pulled out some of my hair, I was bleeding, bruised, and my heart was broken.  My boyfriend (thank God he was there) came in and just held him down.  The rage that was in him was frightening to say the least.  It took both of us to hold him down, and he fought every single second.  My boyfriend asked me if it would be okay with me if we called the police, as this really was our only option at this point.  We called the police, and then Michael just went limp,  He laid on the ground and sobbed and sobbed.  We sat there and rubbed his back and his legs until the police arrived, all crying.  He was drained from the adrenline rush and just laid there, not moving but crying.  When the police got there it started all over again.  They had to physically pick him up and carry him out of my house, kicking and screaming the entire time. 

 

30 minutes later, the police officer called me to tell me he was being released, there was no room for him in the juvenile detention facility.  I went and picked him up, amazed that there was nothing else they were going to do. 

 

He is maintaining a perfect 'F' report card, he doesn't care about school, he only cares about his friends.  He is smoking, and I know of at least three times that he has drank alcohol.  I found marijuana in my back yard, which call me naive, I questioned him and his friends seperately, and got the same story from all of them, and at that time I truly believed that it wasn't his and he didn't smoke it...but still, it was at my home...He has no regard for authority, no respect for me, and no thought of anyone but himself.  I have taken him to psychologists, psychatrists, church youth pastors, talked to school counselors, teachers, principals, guidance counselors, special ed groups, etc...  and when I did everything I knew to do, I tried again, and started over...

 

...then I called his dad.  He hasn't been a dad for 9 years, and wasn't much of one before that.  But his dad said to send him to him in Florida (we live in Texas).  So in February, I sent him there.  It was the hardest decision I have ever made, but for my daughter, and myself and hopefully for him, I thought I was making the right decision.  My boyfriend asked me one day how long I was going to sacrifice one child for the other, and I never realized that I was doing that, but he was right.  I sacrificed daily her well-being for his.  She took a back burner because I always had to have my attention on him, he just demanded so much.  My boyfriend asked me what kind of relationships I was setting her up for?  I was teaching her how to be an abused wife, and how to live in fear with someone that hurts you, and he was right, but I had never thought of that before.  So, we made the decision, as a family to send him to Florida. 

 

Well, he has bombed there too, a week ago last Friday he ran away from his Dad's.  His dad called me and told me that he cannot come back there, that if he does his wife and year old son are going to leave him.  Since he left, I have moved into my boyfriends parents basement, where I share a room with my daughter, and he can't live here.  I can't afford to move, and for all of the same reasons that I sent him to his dad's, I am afraid to have him come home.  I have talked to him, he is staying at a friends house for now, and I have no clue what to do or where to go from here.  I have to make a decision in the next two days, and I don't even know where to begin...

 

Please Help!

Tracylyn...has your son every been hospitalized? My daughter is bipolar and I have known something wasnt right since she was about 3. They have treated her for ADHD for the longest time but I kept insisting that is not it. I played by the Dr.'s rules until I brought vidoe tapes into show how bad things really get. That is when he suggesting hospitalizing her. She was in there for almost a month until they realeased her. Things were good for about 2 weeks and it all started again. She was hospitalized again about 2 months after she was released. Again she was in there a little over a month. While in the hospital, the therapist suggested she go to a Residential Treatment Facility. Her tantrums were still severe even in the hospital so I thought this would be the best thing for the both of us. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make.

 

She has been there now for 1 1/2 months and they are to figure out the right combination of medication. She is doing ok now. I think it is helping her deal with her feeling and she is learning about her disorder. I suggested staring out with having him hospitalized.

 

Good Luck to you and your family.

I have not posted on here in a year WOW!!  Christopher has now started crawling and within 5 days of crawling started climbing on everything!!  We recently got his AFO's to help with ankle support and he is working on standing unaided and learning to walk.  He is still the happiest lil guy and makes every day with him a blessing.  You can ask him if he is happy and he will say appy appy appy the whole time laughing.  We are going the 4th of september to Baylor Medical in Dallas Texas for a feeding clinic that will last 3 weeks but we will get to come home on weekends.  He continues to amaze me every day with his achievements and progress.  Mothers day this year he crawled across the floor at my aunts house and climbed up on the couch next to me and snuggled up and said hi momma then he said I luh yu.  That was the first time he had ever said that to me without prompting.  That was the greatest day of my life!!  He is about to start the Child Achievement Program at the rehab center and they are planning a lot of aqua therapy which I know my lil fish will love!!  Always keep your faith!!  I now own a home and a new car with the help of the Lord. 

My 8 year old niece has Down's Syndrome and she has recently begun to masturbate constantly.  As much as her mother has tried to stop her, she goes back to that behavior.  She has tried to distract her with different activities and this has not worked.  She is at her wits end.  The activity is constant.  Can you please give my sister advice to help stop this behavior.

I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD, and ODD when he was 5 years old. I'm a single mom with Larsen Syndrome who is in a wheelchair raising him all alone.  Of course with the help of local services.  I had been seeing a therapist since he was 5 years old to help me cope with my own personal problems when she pointed out to me about a program called CHADD.  Its an organization that helps families deal with a family member or themselves who have ADD/HD.  Below are links of websites that will be of help to people who have ADD/HD.  There are also support groups, meetings, and feedback on any questions or concerns that you may have about the condition.  In addition to CHADD, I have been trying my hardest to work with my son's teachers and principle by making a 504 plan.  Which is a goal to help my son with his behavioral problems and ways to take action in certain situations.  While being a member with CHADD, I joined a group on yahoo.com support group for CHADD members. In being in this group, I recieve weekly emails on updates and information.  One day in reading this email, I came across an article about another parent that was updating her child's 504 plan..... In it, she needed idea's on what kind of accomodations that needed to be put on the 504 plan to help her child... In the same email, there was a response to it, and it stated that there is a website to go to, to list what kind of accomodations an ADHD/ODD child needs.... I have found it to be very insightful, and rewarding.  Below are the list of websites to go to if you need anymore information.. I hope this helps out.

 

 

 

 

CHADD website-  http://www.chadd.org/AM/CustomPages/home/CHADD_Home.htm?CFID=4734740&CFTOKEN=53129161&jsessionid=f2302964191187742796500

 

504 plan for children with ADHD/ODD website- http://atto.buffalo.edu/registered/ATBasics/Foundation/Laws/AccomList.pdf

Also recommended to teachers.

 

Concord Special Education Parent Advisory Commitee-http://www.concordspedpac.org/

 

The Federation for Children with Special Needs-http://fcsn.org/index.php

I have a 9 year old daughter with Down Syndrome and have also had to face this problem. At first I was very angry and upset about her masturbating but then got advice from my daughter's early ed teacher who suggested that I tell her that if she want to do this behaviour she must go in her room, repeat it over and over and eventually she got the idea. Now she does is hardly ever as she is a real peoples person and doesn't like being in her room alone therefor it has stopped.  It is a natural thing for kids with DS to do this at this age so please tell your sister DON'T get angry or upset with her just reinforce the fact she can do it but ONLY in her room.

Hope this helps.

Living in Australia we are behind in the Dr Phil shows. Just aired yesterday was the show about the deaf and blind triplets. I just want to say that I found the mother absolutely amazing and awe inspiring. Her selflessness and the love she displays for these children is beyond beautiful. Her incredible husband is just that ... incredible and they both should be very very very proud of themselves and as Dr Phil said, I am humbled in their presence. I hope life treats them well.

I watched a rerun the other day on Dr. Phil about children out of control. I was so stunned by some of the things I heard an saw that I had to post my view on it.  Let me give a little insight as to why. My son is now 25yrs old. Great young man, works 2 jobs, went 2yrs of college. He has a good life, he is having fun. He has not always been a good kid, you would never know now at 25 that he was such a awful child. When our son was about 2 he became so unruly we would not even go out to eat. We never had a sitter, no one would watch him he was so bad. He was out of control. By the time he started school, nothing had changed with him, I was called on a regular basis from school, always in trouble. He couldn't sit still, he had tantrums, just awful, I was wondering at that time what we did wrong,(spoiled to much or what). He got into 2nd grade an things got really bad, got called to the school for meeting an was told by his 2nd grade teacher that he was ADD/Hyper an needed to be put on medication.  I did not agree with her an of course she got mad. I do think that Doctors an Teachers are so quick to say kids are ADD these days, its the easy way, it is an assumption thats the problem due to behavior. Of course a parent never wants to think there is something wrong with there child. Finally after a couple weeks of notes from the teacher of him being in trouble daily my husband an I finally took him to his Doctor to be checked out. Told the Doc what the teacher thought. The Doc said, he is a normal boy, don't worry about it. Nothing changed after that, I think his teacher was mad because of the Doc's diagnosis. To me she took things out on him more,an expected more of him. At the end of the school year  all the kids got there reports to bring home, I was totally shocked at what the teacher wrote on the back in the comment area. She said, my son had major psychological problems that needed attended to. I was so shocked by this that I called the school to speak with the principle. Of course he told me she should have never put that on there an he would speak to her about it. Nothing ever got done about it an the bad thing is that stayed on his record. So you can imagine what the years ahead were. BAD, he was labeled. My husband an I took him to a psychologist during the summer just to verify to us there was no problem an of course we were told he was not ADD. I finally deceided to do some research myself to see if I could find an answer to his unruly behavior, he couldn't sit still, he threw things, he had tantrums, just awful. I went to our local library an started researching, I came across food allergies an behaviors. Very interesting to me. I started changing his diet. I made his lunch everyday an sent to school. Natural peanut butter, celery,carrots, I bought at the health food store candies, Carob choc. (M&M'S), no artifical coloring or flavoring of any kind, no more soda(unless it was a clear soda an that was on occasion, no sugar, no ketcup or mayo(there were receipes in the books telling you how to make it tho) It was a difficult thing to do but we tried it for 1mo. an you would not believe the different child I had. Everyone commented on his behavior an ask what we had done to change him.  One day at school he fell an hurt his ankle an had to take him to ER for x-ray, I picked him up an he was off the wall, I knew right then, he ate something he should not have. The Doc knew it to, the Doc asked him what in the world is wrong with you today, my son said I traded my carrots for cheetos at lunch. We kept him on this program of foods for approx. a yr or so. He finally outgrew what ever it was that affected his little brain when he ate all that junk.  OK, so now back to the beginning, when I saw that show an Dr. Lawson said that sometimes food allergies, I was stunned because I had been saying that for years an no one believed me. Then about 2-3 days later I saw on the new where they were linking artifical favors an colors to food allergies, again stunned. I found all this info out 25yrs ago. I have alot of friends who put there children on ritalin or other meds, to me thats the easy way out, its the easy way for the teacher an the parent.(sorry parents, I know your not going to like that) but its true. It is very hard an a little more costly to eat this way but believe me the outcome is worth it. Try it for a month before you put your child on any meds, go to the library, there are alot of books telling you this an giving examples of foods for them to eat. I know how hard it is but PLEASE,PLEASE do  your research before meds.In alot of cases meds are not the answer just an easy way out. I know there will be alot of people that won't agree with me but if you take a little time to research it you might. It was all worth it for my son an that was 25yrs ago an no meds.

Kimmery,

I have a 9 year old son  that  has been diagonsed (this time) as suffering from Tourette's Disorder and severe ADHD and life is progressively getting worse, so much so that his therapist and psychiatrist are suggesting a residential treatment facility as well. They seem to think that his behavior may lead to a more severe and dibilitating disorder in the future (he has been admitted to a couple of different psychiatric facilities in the past and has had multiple diagnoses...I am beyond frustrated). The problem is I am so torn by wanting to do what is best for him, what is best for the other members of the family including his 4 year old sister and the fear of the unknown as far as the treatment facility. Also, there is not a residential treatment facility anywhere near us, the closest being about 3 or more hours away; but things are getting so bad here at home and school that I am not sure I have many options in order to do what's best for all involved.
What have you decided about a residential facility on your end?

I am so sorry that you are also having to consider this difficult decision, but am relieved to see that I am not alone.

Amy