Topic : Raising a Special Needs Child

Hello. I am a mom of 3 children. My oldest is ADHD, Bi-Polar, CAPD. My second son has not been dx with a particular except the CAPD. He has depression, anxiety, and is possibly a milder BP. Do any of you have problems with a dad not partaking or wanting to deal with the child's issues? I just don't get it. He is BP and probably ADD, he takes his meds, but won't read about anything, doesn't really know anything specific. Why am I left to do it all? I don't know that it is a "dad" thing per say or just the parent who doesn't want to deal. I guess because he can't deal with his own stuff. Sad. 

I am homeschooling mine for the first time. We started in July. They weren't getting educated in school and are really behind. I hope I can do better. Socially they are happier. They aren't restricted to a seat which makes my oldest really happy! :) 

Well, hello. If you have any advise on the dad thing, just let me know! SM 

I don't have advice for you, but I wanted you to know I've had that same complaint for years now!!  I try to educate my husband - it's the best I can do.  My dh isn't a reader, so there's no chance of him reading any books or researching on the Net.  If I found something on tape MAYBE I could get him to listen, and if there's something on TV I can get him to watch that.  But he thinks there should be an easy cure, sees black/white and no gray.  It's especially hard when they are critical of what we're doing because they are ignorant. 

I often think of the many hours I have invested in researching.  My 11yr old was dx w/ ADHD when 6yrs. and Aspergers when 7yrs.  This is my 4th year of homeschooling him.  We love it, too. 

I'm not sure, but I think most men are like our husbands.  It's sad, but true.  I've pretty much resolved it with myself that this is how it is.  I have lists for my husband.  I have my son on a glyco-nutrition supplement program and just took him off his last meds.  I have to lay out all of his supplements for each meal & label them because if I go out to the store & my dh stands in for me he will give him the wrong thing!!  I explain things over and over, but I guess they have so many other responsibilities on their mind they can't handle one more. 

My son can't have artificial colors or he climbs the walls.  I was in the hospital a few yrs ago for 11 days.  I wrote down for my dh "NO YELLOW OR RED FOOD COLOR".  He called me up "R is climbing the walls.  He's totally out of control and I don't know what did it.  All he had was yogurt."  Me: "What color was the yogurt?"  DH: "Green.  I remembered no Yellow or Red."  Me:  "What colors do you blend together to get Green?"   DUH! 

Look at it this way, SM, we are so good at what we do and we are INDESPENSIBLE! 

Deb 

My son is nine.  I am going through a lot of the same.  No one can tell me whats wrong .  He has been diognosed pdd-nos with an anxiety disorder too.  Now with that I am trying to get him in to a  nueroligist to look at maybe tourettes etc.....  But I am having trouble getting anyone to see him because of the autism dx.  I do have one thing An Awesome school district that did not give up till they found out a system that worked for him.  I encourage you to push them and revise an IEP until you find the right plan that works for him.  I know when my son is haveing difficulty but can't express whats going on he gets worst and I have to dig and ask teachers and aids if they have noticed anything usually I find things out like one kid is teasing him or an aid or teacher is mis intuupring him.  There are therapy's that can help.  Talk to the special ed program at your school to see what they have for autistic children.  Make  sure the teachers understand what he has just because they have a degree doesn't mean they know about autism.  Go in once in a while and see whats going on,  It helps you know what he may be going through.  If you have any mor e questions I would love to help.  This is a hard dx.  Because nos just means they just don't know. Melissa 

Have you tried the homeopathic route yet? We have and now he is doing GREAT!  It was a long har road and we are still doing it, but we had him cleared of all metals and vaccines and we have seen such improvement in school and at home.  It was not cheap to do.  We have paid so far close to $2,000.00 to do this clearing.  But it was well worth it.  I would suggest talking to a homeopath, read all you can. We have also taken him off all preservatives and dyes.  He is  also on an all organic diet.  It is also expensive but well,  worth the results.  I have my child back now, and he is loveing life. 

nos just means "not otherwise specified " - or does not have all the characteristics needed  under one type of a specific catogery of disorders. 

If you want or feel you need an IEP, put it in writing, the school district must give you one within 10 days of a written request.  

 As a special education teacher and both the mother of a daughter with ADD and the guardian of a boy with significant emotional and behavior needs, it never fails to upset me when I hear about schools insisting on kids taking medicines. This concerns me for 2 reasons. First of all, schools can not insist children take medicine, For the most part, they don't even diagnosis conditions which require medication. They can suggest you take your child to a Dr. (Psyciatrist wpuld be the best) and get  proper evaluation and ,if they suggest it , they must pay for it .( must use their Dr.) The other is some conditions are best treated with the help of medicine. Medicine is not a cure, but if properly used, a tool. Not many parents would deny their child seizure medicine if they had a seizure disorder or heart medicine if needed. Why ADD meds, if it is the true diagnosis. All well designed studies show medicine to be the only true effective treatment. for ADHD. (Studies are rated by how effective they are in giving reliable results.) Kids are more likely to self medicine as they get older if not properly treated. The same goes for other conditions.I'm am not saying all kids need medicine, just don't go into a situation without looking at all the facts, My son had no need for medicine, therefore, he took none. 

By the way, my daughter is 22 , in college, off medicine , she took it all through  school, and is now completing a degree in social work.. 

I'm sure not all school districts are like mine. I am fortunate to work in a district were kids come from. first This attitude is throughout the district from the administration down. We have an active parents group for PDD that is supported by the admin. We have monthly teacher inservices for regular education teachers, a special education director and assistant superintendent who are forever looking to advance both our students and staff skills 

.I hope those of you who are looking for the best for your children find help. I know each of you care and will do what you feel is best, None of you would be on a message board if you didn't want what was best for your child. No matter what your child has you, their best advovcate. Some don't have that.