Topic : Raising a Special Needs Child

Why is it so difficult to get these professionals who work with our children and teens to come up with a specific diagnosis instead of a generalization.   

I am an unemployed mother of two (recently back on my feet after being homeless for two years) in a common law marraige.  Have a 9 month old daughter and a 17 year old son.  My son is special needs and we are currently having issues involving getting him into the proper transition program for the next 4 years.    

My concern is that my son has a current diagnosis of the following: 

Axis I:  Pervasive Developmental Disorder (299.80) 

            Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined Type (314.01) 

            R/O Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (from being sexually abused when younger) 

            R/O Psychotic Disorder NOS 

            Pending investigation of sexual abuse (performed by my son stemming from the above) 

Axis II: Borderline Intelligence (V62.89) 

Axis IV:  Psychosocial stressors:  Moderate (good response to services) 

Axis V:  Global Assessment of Functioning:  Current GAF:  37; Estimate Higher GAF Past Year = 35 

My son is getting pretty good daily TSS paraclete services right now, even seeing counseling too.  He is a very difficult child to deal with because he is soooooooooo smart in some ways but developmentally and socially is soooooooo far behind.  I am extremely concerned about his future services when he completes his senior year though.   

My issue is that i do not believe that his Axis one diagnoses (first two) are not specific enough.  I do not like the fact that my son is under an "umbrella" disorder when i do believe his diagnosis should be more specific such as autism or aspergers.  I do not believe he is ADHD either.  Can anyone help? 

Kim, 

PS:  I do not own my own computer so i do not get to one more than once a week, any feedback would definately be helpful. 

Your email didn't come through, try again. 

I seriously need some advice. My boyfriend who lives with me has a 19 y/o mentally handicapped son. His son lives with his mother in North Carolina. He and his son lived alone for about 10 years before I came into the picture. His ex decided to take the son and sue for back child support and won. They also have a 16 y/o daughter. The son has had many difficulties in his life, including numerous surgeries and now he has been diagnosed as an insulin dependent diabetic. The problems are many. Recently, his mother put him on the "adkins" diet. This is one of the worst diest around, it removes carbs. Carbs create sugar. He lost weight and then went into the hospital. The other problem are his meds and there are many meds. They (doctors) think that they also contributed to his diabetes. Okay, the problem is....well, several....their mother has told their daughter (Meagan) she is now the "little mommy" and she (the mother, Laura) is so afraid of Tommy (the son) having a "meltdown" that they give in to his every whim. Now, he has problems with his eurethera and I understand that, but he is not even made to go to to the bathroom. They have put him in depends, in case he has an accident. He spent 5 weeks with us last Summer and thankfully I wasn't working. He was so involved watching Sportscenter that he urinated on my brand new couch. I was furious. And even as a step parent, I know I am not supposed to be responsible for his discipline, it seems I am the ONLY one who will. I grounded him from watching sports and sports center or playing playstation for a week. This is not unreasonable. My 2 teenage children were there and they were in the pool daily with me. Tommy is not made to eat properly and not made to do a thing. When he is at our house I constantly correct him, "Tommy, close your mouth".  "Tommy, wipe your hands". "Tommy, have you wet your pants?" "Tommy, if you're wet, you need to take a shower!" He doesn't have meltdowns with me, I think it is because I don't treat him as though he is retarded. He is very high functioning, at about a 10 y/o level. He also knows right from wrong. I understand mental illness, I know when they snap, they snap and there is nothing that can be done. He is already on all kinds of meds.  

The reason for this post, he "snapped" yesterday for the 3rd time in 9 months and attacked his sister. He put his hand through a window, screaming "where's my dad?!" His sister was supposed to be making his snack (which he can do himself) Oh, she is also responsible for giving him his injections daily. I don't know WHY the mother doesn't do this. He then took a piece of glass and stabbed her with it as well as stabbed himself with it....he then ran out the apartment door and into a wooded area behind the home. The mother leaves them home alone every day while she is working. We pay enough support to pay for a sitter and her twin sister lives nearby. He hid behind a tree and attacked her when she ran in after him. The mother came home and was looking in a different area for Tommy. Meagan's face is bruised and cut up. They ended up in a parking lot of Office Depot and Tommy was arrested for the 3rd time in 9 months, sereaming "where's my dad?" Laura doesn't allow my boyfriend to visit the kids, unless we pay all the airfare or drive up there and stay. We live in Jacksonville, FL They are in Charlotte NC. We cannot afford that with the amount of child support we pay. So, Tommy was arrested and taken away in an ambulance for his self-inflicted wounds. Charges were pressed on Meagans behalf and for assault on police officers. Allof them were dropped for Tommy's diminished capacity. he was then put into a mental ward of the hospital and Laura treated him like a king. She brought him home yesterday and blamed Meagan for not doing as she had been told, therefore making the incident Meagans "fault". She took Meagans computer and give it to Tommy, who has the bigger room, a cell phone, tv, playstation2 and now, computer. He was then taken out shopping and new shoes were bought. Meagan is terriffied. This is the 3rd time in 9 months Tommy has attacked her. The parents, including my boyfriend are saying nothing will be done because it is diminished capacity and they are acting as though nothing happened.  

I am fearful that this child is going to kill someone. Is there anything that can be done? He is going to seriously hurt his sister, himself or someone else. Or worse, someone is going to die unless something is done. We called and tried to press charges but nothing can be done by us as we're out of state. We called child protective servies, but all they see is a happy family with a retarded child. Tommy is becoming more violent as time goes on. He was violent when he lived with us, but he went to a special, private school with 13 kids total and was closely monitored. His mother put him in public school where there are 30 kids in his class. He has been suspended no less than once a month since he started and is now being told he doesn't have to go anymore. She also says she is going to quit her job and ask for more support. We cannot afford to give her more.  

He pulled a knife on my daughter when he lived with us and said he was going to kill her. I was relieved when he went to live with his mother. He is now not welcome to come stay at our home. My boyfriend and I are at odds over this. I know he is a child and my boyfriend loves him, but for all of our safety, I really think he should be committed.  

Any advice is more than welcome.  

I have a beautiful 9 year old daughter who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder last year.  Until that time we had several other incorrect diagnoses and school was a nightmare.  It was difficult to get the school to recognize her as a special needs child but once we hired legal counsel to assist us, our daughter was put into the special education program.  I agonized about having her "labeled"  but it was more important to look out for her best interests and having her "labeled" was the only way we could do that.  We are also fortunate to have found an after school program that caters specifically to children with Aspergers and Autism. Since being in that program, we have seen marked improvement in our daughter.   

It is only through education of the school officials and the diligence of parents that we can help these children become productive members of society. I see a lot of hope for my daughter and the other children in her situation and we have to get the word out. 

I hope Dr. Phil will devote a whole show or a series of shows on this topic. 

As a mother of an 11 yr old son with Bipolar, I feel your frustration and fears.  He has been diagnosed since he was 8 but it took his 5th grade teacher to rally with me for his IEP (his grades were too good, they said).  It is important that you try to get an emotional support set up in her IEP as well, since that is what these children really need.  My son only has problems academically when he is cycling.  He just recently went through a distinct manic week followed by crashing into a severe depression.  It seems like 11-12 is the 'witching age,' must be puberty playing havoc on their brain chemistry (?). Thankfully, he has been stable for about 6 weeks now, but we know it can change at any time.  As far as having your daughter evaluated at the ER,  I have been down that road 3 times, once he had to be transported by police because he was attacking me.  Please try to get your husband to understand that it is in her best interest.  (I know it is difficult, my husband travels alot with his job and he doesn't witness most of the rages either.) If they don't find the need to admit her, that's great, but at least it gives her (and you) a chance to talk to the crisis people.  My son didn't have to be admitted any of the times, but we did benefit by him talking and realizing he needed to try a new medication he had  been fighting (because of blood testing).  That was one of the best things that could have happened.  I know you can get to a point where you think your child may be better off somewhere else, but please don't give up hope.  You sound as if you are really trying to give her the help she needs.    My prayers are with you.