My son is 15 and has Down Syndrome. I am a single full time working mom. When he was alot younger he got up and roamed the house and learned how to get outside while I was asleep. Even with high locks. Solution, cut off the top two-three feet of his bedroom door, with a lock on your side. you can hear and see in, he doesn't feel isolated and you know where he is. This also helped with just taking a shower and behavior. When he would thrash about and become uncontrollable, he had to stay in his room until he calmed down, of course it's a pain to move toys out of reach, but it worked for him. He wanted attention and was ignored for negative behaviors. Of course he is 15 now and he is shutting me out of his room lol, but he knows whats acceptable and has only had 3 occasions over the past 6 years or so of just being absolutely uncontrollable and thrashing and now it's all I can do to hold him down to keep him from hurting himself, he has gotten so big. I also learned early on that he would never be forced into doing anything. It's all about the tone in your voice. He has always been eager to please, and takes great pride in his accomplishments but on his terms. Loves praise for the smallest of things. If you can get excited and make it a game or have a reward for after on the table in site, snack, juice.....it helps. Or if it gets too frustrating, take a five minute break and come back. Trying to force Corey to do his work only made him aggressive and stuborn and me frustrated. I also learned through being forced into inclusion, that in my opinion teachers in public school didn't sign up for it and have even wrote, it is more responsibility than they should have, even with a full time aide. Believe me, I fought for positive behavior plans, had a child psychologist do on site visits at the schools expense and they wouldn't follow the plan. Mediation, Due Process, even had the Superintendant for the county sit across the table from me and say "Ms. Freeman, I'm sure the aide didn't slap Corey's hand very hard" ????
They don't know what to do with him, they don't hire qualified aides and there is a huge turnover, so he is constantly having to get use to new aides and them him. I tried getting them to break up his day, have him clean tables, help sweep gym, or walk around outside. He paced the floor ranting "I said sit down right now" "I said be quiet right now" "I said listen right now". He became very aggressive, because they were restraining him, to making him stand in line for bathroom. They tried to force him to conform to their strict rules instead of conforming to what he was capable of. He connot sit still for hours at a time. He was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/OCD and Severe Behavior Disorder, they prescribed meds that I never gave him but the teacher saw a remarkable improvement??? He learned to read, write, and do some math but couldn't tie his shoes fasten his pants, and had no means of communication because the SLP determined he had reached his full potential in articulation and they wouldn't try him on an augmentative device??? Now he is back in a multi-handicapped school and is thriving. The school board absolutely refused to place him there because he was too (high functioning), but after 4 IEP meetings in 2 weeks and requesting on site visits to each of the school choices with the Super. they agreed. He is with the people who chose to do this for a living, who has the patience and training, who understand that it's good to avoid frustration and how to redirect into something positive. Where there is o 2 to 1 ratio of qualified people. He has a aggment. communication device, and is learning how to communicate-no matter how far you go accademically-you can't function in society without communication skills. He has no symptoms of ADD/ADHD/OCD/Severe Behavior Disorder and he is on no meds. They go out into the community at least once a week, Burger King/Wal-mart etc....to learn how to order and purchase indepen. They go on field trips, fishing, canoing....They learn how to follow simple cooking inst. in the classroom, do classroom chores and have a real sense of accomplishment. They learn daily living, self help skills they will actually use someday, how to open food containers, fasten clothing, wash clothes, tie shoes, use money, whatever. Not sitting at a desk for hours trying to comprehend the math sheet becuase the teacher has no clue how to adapt the work to his level. He is not aggressive anymore, loves to go to school, not a behavior problem. He had all but "shut down" in public school, now he loves to showoff what he can do. I know that public school has a legal obligation to our children, and I know for some kids it works well, but if it is not working consider this- there are schools out there with trained teachers and aides who chose to teach special education for a living. A place where they are not forced on teachers who don't want to deal with them, and your not having to fight for their rights every day knowing unless your babysitting the teacher, there is no accountability. A place where they have a chance to be individuals and socialize and not forced to conform to strict rules and conduct that is just frustrating because it is not possible. Where they don't have to be drugged to cope or just to make it easier for the teacher. A place where they know about adaptive equip. and offer it willingly. A place where they celebrate the smallest of accomplishments and boost self esteem. How can a child learn to talk, communicate and socialize if they are being told to sit down and be quiet all day???? It may be worth checking into. Also, there are alot of sites you can order adaptive equipment on-line. Scoop plates, writing utensils, pencil grips, scissors, board makers, etc.... Samons Preston is one, but there are several. I don't know if my e-mail is posted but it is rfreeman2247@charter.net If you have young children, ask around for what works and what does not. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way. If I only knew then what I know now right. Remember, just because the public school has an obligation to mainstream your child does not make it your child's best placement. They talk about how important socializing with there non-disabled peers is, but for what all of lunch and maybe P.E.??? They are not allowed to talk in class. Find an after school program for an hour a day where they can really openly engage with other children. The YMCA here has a great program.
