Topic : Raising a Special Needs Child

I understand your point of view...but this boy has been treated like a prince since he was born, he wasn't allowed (and still doesn't) know how to ride a bike because they were afraid he would get hurt, same with any kind of sports...when he joined something, my sister would allow him to stop after one try 'cause he didn't like it.  He was never bratty about it, just got his way with one word.  She would make her elderly Father and Mother get up from the table to let him sit where he wanted all his life (without him asking) and when he didn't like something at the dinner table they ran to get itimmediately, even stopping their own meal to go to the store 'cause he didn't like what he had.  He was taken to the store immediately if he wanted something, even inconveniencing other people.

Now, he could very well have whatever, but it seems to me my sister has been looking for something to keep her son by her side and has said many times, she does not want this boy to leave her, and actually brags about the fact that he is "handicapped" and he parrots every thing she says.  I don't believe in any way that the Dr. they have seen knows anything about the way they raised him.  Yes, he shows those symptoms, but it goes much deeper than that.  I basically feel bad for him 'cause his life is miserable and he constantly says he can't stand his mother to other people.  I support he totally if she thinks this is his problem and if it is his problem, but why doesn't she take the Drs advice and follow what is recommend for this Asbergers?  Believe me she doesn't.

I am the parent of a daughter who was born with a very rare neurological disorder. Before my daughter was born, I knew nothing about special needs anything. My daughter is 18 now and attends a college for people with special needs. Because she has inspired me so much I have continued my education and earned a MA. degree in special education. I had an article published last month in EP magazine called "Understanding the Parent of the Special needs child". Life has more substance and meaning since my daughter has come into my life. My motto is: God give special children to special parents. I pray that all parents can see this challenge as a blessing from God as I have.

Karen

I have a 5 year old daughter with Autism.  She was dianosed at 26 months. It has been a challenging yet rewarding experience.  I did not have much experience with children until I had my own and to be thrown into an uncontrolable situation was difficult.  My daughter has taught me so much.  She just recently started 'talking' and it is so wonderful to hear her sweet little voice.  For so long my husband and I wondered what her voice would sound like and we finally know.  She has been counting for years, but that was pretty much the extent of her vocabulary.  She know labels objects, sings her ABC's and know her colors, shapes, and numbers by recognition and says 'love you' :).  She's amazing.  She taught herself how to swim and is a natural at it.  She also taught herself how to use the computer and is a wiz.  I am so proud of her and I am the lucky one to have such a special daughter.  My only concern now is with my other daughter.  She is 22 months and is so desperately trying to be 'friends' with her older sister and my older daughter wants nothing to do with her.  I know social skills will come later and it will all work out, it's just heart-breaking to see my youngest consistently rejected.  She will understand one day and until then I will have to be there for her.  Mia, my special needs daughter, is in ABA therapy and I conduct sessions here at home as well.  She has been in a DD class for 2-1/2 years now and is showing so much progress.  For those parents out there that are new to this and think that those days of frustration and confusion are the norm, will see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Special children bring a joy that can not be explained.  Their thoughts and emotions are so pure it's magically.  Hang in there to all those who experience those days where everything goes wrong because at the end of the day, it's you that your child needs and you are the only one that truly understands.

My goddaughter Hope was born 1lb 2.5oz at 24 weeks. She spent four months in the hospital neo natal unit. After coming home that child cried for months at a time. She has allergic asthma and takes many meds. Outside of housing her parent's biggest expense is Hope's meds. Hope had a great team of nurses and social workers that came to the house through various county programs to get her ready for school and help her development. She had many dexterity problems, focus and self control issues. The tantrums and outbursts were more than all of us could handle for a while. But we have to remember that these kids are wired different. She went to a special preschool where they assessed how she learns and what she needs in a class. Her first kindergarten teacher told her she was a bad kid. Mom felt like all the work they had done was just unraveled so they pulled her from that school and found another school where she thrived. She is artistic and detail oriented. She is perceptive and emotional.

At 6 Hope is doing very well health wise and emotionally. She is amazingly mature and sensative. She has a very deep soul that I am so fortunate to be able to love. People tend to sell her short because she was so little and sick. They make excuses for her when she wants to be encouraged and given the opportunity to try new things. I think the best thing adults in her life can do is give her a chance, really listen to her and let her go. She is truly exceptional in all ways and I am very proud of her.

Hi There,

Wow!!! Your daughter is so very blessed to have you!!! You sound so positive. I am so happy that now you and your husband both know what her voice sounds like. I believe that if you and your husband stay positive through the entire process, then your daughter will be doing things that no doctor would ever believe!!! That is what happened with my daughter..

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  

I am a mother of three girls two of witch have autism. They are two and four. I love them dearly. I have the UT most patents for my children. But I notice it is other people I have no tolerance for. My husband for one but also other people. How can I have so much control when it comes to them but none for other people? It is confusing. I am so upset about this. My husband is in the army and he is absent a lot (not his fault) but I get so angry and frustrated because he is not around to help me. I never get a brake. I have just moved to a new state and have no friends or family for support. My kids are my world but I feel a little like I am lost in there lives. And when all is said and done there is nothing left for me. My husband works most weekends when he is home. And I just feel like I am doing everything on my own. Lately I have been feeling like I need a change in my life and am considering divorce. I am so alone and already handle everything. I have a tendency to blame the army because they know are kids are sick and they don’t seem to care much. My husband’s last deployment I had a bit of a breakdown and they sent him home 6 weeks early. Finding out my second child had autism hit me hard. They still don’t care if he is there for us as long as he is there for them. I don’t won’t to be married to the Army anymore. But I Love my husband when he is around he is a good man.

So confused any advice is

Good advice

jocelynn  

Please dont get divorced!! I know it is hard when you move to a new area ,but seek out your comunity health programs, they have programs that you can be with other moms and dads who are going through what you are going through. Was your husband in the army when you got married and if so he made an oath to serve and protect his country ubove his own family ,yes they shouldve givin you some help with the girls when he was at work . Please find away to save your marrage  .

  Its only because your overwhelmed with the new area and no friends.I have faith that everything is going to work out for you one way or another be strong my prayes are with you .

                                                                                                                      Patty from Nanaim,BC, Canada