Topic : Raising a Special Needs Child

I have a 9 year old grandson who was born without the corpus callosum in his brain.  This is the huge membrane which connects the two hemispheres and allows the communication between the two.  He is in public school....some of the classes are special ed....but basically everyone from the doctors to his teachers and especially his parents and all extended family are basically "winging it" where his education is concerned.  He has absolutely none of the other disorders that frequently accompany the disorder....his parents have been told his case is probably one in two million.  Occasionally he has meltdowns at school and has to be restrained, which is getting more difficult as he grows.  There is virtually no information.  There are case studies on the web on different sites, but basically there is no actual study of this condition.  Anyone else familiar?  Any suggestions or help?

My son is 16 yrs. old and he is bi-polar and adhd and i feel like i can't do this anymore, all i want to do is run away but then i think it about and realize he didn't ask to be born. he just got fired from his job,he got kicked out of just about every class yesterday then he came home and took it out on me. he blames me he says i never talk to him. well, surprise surprise the school just called and they suspended for the rest of the week and they mentioned they don't want him back. i  feel like i cant do this anymore i want to run and hide. he just said it was my fault  and i told him he needed to take some responsibiliy for his actions and he told me to shut up and end it.the school is worried they say he is scarey and something has to be done. any suggestions would be greatfully appreciated.

My daughter is 12 and i go through the samething with her.  she will come home and distroy the upstairs of my house.  she threatens to kill her bunny and tries to put holes in the wall and blames the bipolar on me.  she says if i would have had an abortion she wouldn't have to go through this.  the problem is everyone calls you a bad mother or him a bad kid.  when i call the therapist they tell me to ignore.  I was just reading on line that we (parents) should offer a walk around the block so next time this happens in my home I am going to try this myself.  I think what we need as parents is someone to tell us it is not our fault!!!! 

 My 15 yr old son was diagnosed at age 9.
He has Aspergers, ADHD, Bi-polar/schizoaffective disroders.
With bi-polar he presents with paranoia and hallucinations.He not on see's these hallucinations, but feels them, smells, tastes.He is the most wonderful child when not in a bi-polar state.He is polite, loving, fun, caring...but when he gets into a bi-polar state it is all we can do to handle him anymore.He was recently admitted for 72 hrs to a mental ward for attacking his father.He had been arguing and decided that his father was going to attack and rape him.So he attacked first.
We had to have the police here and case workers to calm him down and get him admitted.After the episodes he remembers little if any of it.Once he has a hallucination or paranoia, there will be no convincing him that it isn't real...even yrs later he will believe it with all of his heart.
He  fits in socially with children that are half his age, (due to aspergers) he has no clue how to fit in with his own peers.He is so unconcerned with silly details such as remembering  his best friends name.It just never occurs to him that he should know something like that.
It's been hell raising my oldest son, there are days when I want to run away and give it up.Sometimes I see no future for him at all and other days I see one just filled with anquish ...
They say my son is a rare bird in his variety of disorders, I wish they would just see him as a child in need.HIs meds are helping him, but at the same time we fear the things these strong meds are doing to his body and mind.It's a no win situation.He is on disability since he was 9,so at least the meds that cost 1500-2000 a mnth are covered.

My younger son age 10 was born at 5 1/2 mnths gestation and has cerebral palsy and aspergers.
After all these yrs of caring for our two special needs boys, we feel like we have aged 100 yrs.The heartache drains your life, your marriage,  every aspect of our lives have been  taken over by these needs our children have, but we learn to celebrate the smallest of things, knowing that tomorrow may not bring such laughter and smiles.

at times ignoring does help but bi-polar is so unpredictable that what might work one day might not work the next. I have done everything you could possibly think of. we have tried grounding, rewarding, taking things away and only leaving his bed, my daughter who my son acts like he wants to be a part of her life has even tried but it's his  way and time. now my daughter hates him not only because he wants to be boss but becuz of the way he treats me and has me in tears. the doctor says pick and chose your fights,  that helps once in awhile but we have been going through this for almost 11 years now. you have to be very strong bcuz it can tear you down. my son has just about broke me, i'm out of ideas or tips or anything maybe it's time to throw in the towel . but how do i do that, bcuz if i;m not here who will help and defend him  or even care?

it took us almost 6 years of going through hell b4 they would diagnose my son bi-polar. he is also adhd but i think there may b even more. we have tried concerta and it helped alittle but after about a year or so we just recently  changed once again. now he is taking adderall extended relief it's better but 4 how long. with his bi-polar and adhd he has taken concerta, adderall, depakote, seraquell, lithium and i'm sure there is more but my mind just can't remember bcuz we have been doing this since my son was in 1'st grade or so and he is now a sophmore in high school and things r going bad again. in my opinion if anyone can find something that works stick with it and be strong and consistant consistant consistant even when things r at the greatest you can NEVER let your gaurd down becuz they r smarter than people give them credit. all i know is you have to really research doctors and there methods bcuz their r 2 many that just want give you whatever pills so they can move on to the next patient. find a counclor who is tough but caring and isn't easily foolled. b picky and find one they will trust and won't walk away from them. that is important bcuz that would cause trust issues, my son has been through 4or 5 doctors and they have either quit moved or just given up. my son is smart, he already knows how to play the game, he knows what and when to say things and then leaves and does the opposite. the last counclor said she threw her hands up and told me she cared very deeply for my son but that there wasn't any more she could do. he knows what they want to hear he says he knows what he is doing and he even has the teachers convinced that he chooses to to be bad but i know that's not true bcuz i see the mood swings from high 2 low and i see the look in his eyes it just makes him feel in control when he says he's choosing 2 behave badly. all i can say is b strong bcuz it isn't easy but our children r worth it! i hope i hav helped, i am always here to help anyone i can. i can't do anything for myself bcuz i've been there done that but maybe i can help someone else, and don't get me wrong i'm not giving up on my son i just know i've been their done that. TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK1

My youngest daughter just turned 15.  She is in 9th grade, but I don't think she's going to make it through.  She's been diagnosed with BIPOLAR severe with psychotic episodes, ODD severe, ADHD moderate mixed type, LEARNING DISORDER not specified.   She is HIV+ too.  She has a lot of anger, grief and loss issues that she is dealing with. 

 

Getting her to go to school is HELL!!!  I'm trying to get them to put her on an IEP.   But, it's not an easy process since she has had so many angry outbursts at school.  The last one resulted in the school calling the police, and her being suspended for 10 days. 

 

She has pretty much figured out that if she throws a fit, the school will send her home.  If she throws a big enough one, then she'll be kicked out. 

 

She is a bright kid.  She's just angry at the world.  She's angry about the HIV.  But, it's not something that has just been thrown at her.  She was born with HIV.  My husband, her dad,  was a hemophiliac who got HIV from his clotting factor.  He gave it to me and 2 of our 3 kids.   

 

She has a lot of grief and loss issues to work through.  Her dad has died from complications of  HIV.  Her older brother died because on top of having HIV he had lymphoma of the liver.  Her uncle also died from complications of HIV.

 

She has every reason to be upset.  I'm just worried about her because I see her slowly failing at life.  She can have a good future, but at this stage she seems to just not want it.  She has a psychologist and a psychiatrist.  She also has an infectious disease doctor.   We also have a local clinic that I take her to quite often.  She is a borderline hypochondriac, which I think stems from her deep seeded fear of dying.

 

She is on a boat load of medication.  They just recently switched her depression med. to Celexa.  It doesn't seem to be helping much though.    She was on Lexapro, but the state stopped covering it.

 

I guess that I just came here for support, and for advice on dealing with the public schools.

 

I would call her school counselor and have a heart to heart - ask her about at least getting her on a 504 plan - ask about a BIP - Behaviour Intervention Plan .  We have alternative schools here for students like her - ask about that possibility - it gives the kids more one on one and has a program designed to get these kids to succeed in life in spite of themselves.  These school programs are not the ones designed for punishment, but for helping them.  Good luck!!

Many of your childrens anger and violent outburst can be because they cannot get what they have to say out. Our 16 yr old son came to us at the age of 3 as a foster child. His main communaction style was screaming and crying. We got him in our local MRDD pre-school program and into speech therapy. We also started using PECS with him. This is a picture icon program. It can be used in many ways, in your case you can have a varity of PECS available in a binder for them, when they want/need something have them get the picture out of the binder. Once our son was given a way to commuacate what he wanted his melt downs started to reduce.

 

We later learned our son has autism and when we started to educate ourselves on this we seen what we thought was sensory issues. So we had a sensory evaluation done. Sure enough he had several sensory issues. We got him in OT/Sensory therapy and brought what we learned there home and into the school.

 

Talk to your doctor about a speech evaluaction. I am not saying this will answer all your problems but it sure does help when your children have the ability to let you know what is bothering them or what they want.

 

Also if your 6 year old is not on an IEP I would talk to your school about this. With a diagnosis of ODD and speech problems he should be getting help at school also. If the ODD is causeing problems in school ask for a behavior team to be put into place to look at the problems and find a way that everyone can agree with to deal with the issues as they arise.

 

Counceling is also is something you should think about if you already are not involved in it, Counceling with the right therapist can truely help your child and you cope and develop tools and plans to handle the issues as they happen at home.

 

I hope this helps