Topic : Pre-school

I am depabing weather I should leave my 2 year old in Daycare.  His Dr. and Speech thearapist both suggested he be around other kids his age since he isn't talking.  He is the youngest of 4 boys in our house.  My oldest is 13, then 10 then 5 and Lathan is 2.  I was so nervous to take him because he has never been to day care.  I can't even leave him in the church nursery.  My mother has kept him since he was a newborn.  He isn't ajusting well to daycare.  Now, he doesn't want to leave the house in the mornings, doesn't want to go to my moms house because he knows he is going to have to go to daycare.  The daycare is a good one.  I don't think it is the school that I chose that is the problem, nor do I think it is Lathan's issue as much as it is mine.  I just don't know if it is more detrimental to him to take him for those 4 hours each morning than it is good.  Am I causes my child unnecissary anxiety that will be with him forever.  I didn't go to daycare so I don't know what it is like to be left.  My mom was a stay at home mom and I turned out fine.  I was a very social child growing up.  I am so confused and don't want to harm my child.  Why does it not feel right to take him when everyone else says it is the right thing to do and he will get use to it and adjust and he will have to learn to talk and socialize with others?

I had similar concerns when sending my 5 year old to kindergarten this year.  I called the principal, the kindergarten teacher, his Dr's.  All of them said, go ahead and start him.  If he doesn't do as well, and he isn't ready to move on to first grade then you can look at it as a "Preschool" experience.  He will learn social skills, the rules of school and how to act around other kids.  Either way, it is a win win situation.  I took that advice with much anticipation and confusion and I am happy to say that Chad is doing so well.  He isn't the best in his class but he has matured so much and LOVES school.  I am very blessed to have such a great kindergarten teacher. 

My suggestion, talk to the kindergarten teacher.  Express your concerns.  You are not the first one to go through this and you won't be the last.  Your school is experienced in handeling situations where parents are more anxious than children and children with learning disabilities. 

My daught has been potty trained for about 7 months and has not had an accident for 4 of the 7 months.  I went out of town for a weekend and she stayed with her adoptive grandmother as she always does when I need a sitter.  That weekend she started soiling her pants and has now stopped using the potty all together.  She was adopted when she was 2 weeks old, due to her mothers inability to care for her (she is bipolar, among other problems) .  I am just wondering, if this dramtic set back ( her disposition has change also) is something Ishould be concerned about considering her mother illness'.  I know children have set backs in potty training, but this was so sudden and her actions are almost like she is two again.

ANY ADVICE????

Wow, what a tough situation as a mom - broke my heart reading about it!  My daughter is currently four and will be turning 5 in Aug.   She completed this past year of pre-school.  I work 3.5 days a week and when I am at work my kids are either with their grandma or dad.  So my daughter had never been away from family until I took her to pre-school.  I am glad I did but it was hard for both of us in the beginning.  I am not a professional in this area but I would think that your sons behavior is a bit extreme since it is continuing and not improving.  My daughter would cry in the morning that she didn't want to go to school and when we got there more tears and clinging to me.  After the 2nd week she was over it and everyday became more comfortable and confident.  I had to be careful not to feed into her fears or let her know how sad it made me to see her upset.  After Christmas and Spring Break we started all over with crying but she got over it.  By the end of the school year she would kiss me good-bye and take off with her friends and at the end of the day was sad to leave.  I think your son may be having a hard time and needs some new coping mechanisms.  Perhaps you should speak with his teacher outside of school hours or a counselor that could give you ideas to help him find a new way to deal with his anxiety besides sitting at the window and crying.  Continue to encourage him to make one friend and praise him for the small steps he takes to towards independence.  It is ok if he choses to play alone - some kids personalities are not as social as others.  The goal would be to each day make progress toward him participating and not crying.  He will come around.  Is there any other major life changes happening for him right now? 

Thanks for your response! 

No he hasnt had any major life changes.  We actually are really scheduled and structured with him and havent had any major changes to speak of.  It has been 4 weeks now and it seems to be getting a little better.  He does adopt his teacher as his pseudo mom, following her everywhere.  If she leaves for a break he waits with his nose against the door sobbing until she returns.  If he wakes from a nap and she isnt in the room it throws him off.  He doesnt, however, wait at the window.  I talked to her about it and we decided she would have him sit on the couch and cry if he wanted, but NOT at that window, and he will only sit there for 10 minutes at most before deciding he doesnt like to sit on that couch.  The main concern that he has is that we have lost him.  He will continually say, I am lost, or I cant find you, or can you hear me at school when I am crying for you?  He tells all of the teachers that he has lost his parents and they cant find him.  I am not sure what is going on in his little brain but I reassure him he is not lost and we will NEVER forget him there.  We try to stick to the schedule drop off, pick up same time, on the nose so that his schedule wont be disturbed.  He has been doing better as far as the window goes which is nice.  But I cant help but think that if he made friends and was a little more social it would make the day go by a lot faster and become more fun.