Topic : School Issues

I have a 504 meeting at the high school today for our middle son.  I know I'm in for a battle on getting what he needs...it's a battle every year...the teachers don't like the fact that I email every week to get the week's assignments, and only one teacher has answered my emails so far...they want him to use his planner exclusively...that strategy has failed several years in a row...he doesn't fill it out completely, and the teachers sign it anyway...if he remembers to get it signed, plus he says that he finished his work in class, and the teachers don't make any notes in the planner about missed assignments...completely not effective.  He does need to learn to be responsible for keeping track, but ADHD kids are notroiously disorganized.  We bought him a binder with an accordian file, with a slot for each class.  Often, though, he is in a hurry, and he just stuffs the papers any old spot in his back pack.  I think that getting in the habit of DOING and TURNING IN the assignments is more important than the planner right now...I agree that he should be filling out the planner, but we need the emails from the teachers.  We have access to his grades on the internet, but those postings only happen once a week...so we don't know about missing assignments until he is a week behind!!

 

So far, the Social Studies teacher is the only one who has emailed with missing assignments...so I don't know about the other classes.  I'll find out today.

 

With new medications, I hope that our son is more able to pay attention and get his work done IN CLASS...I'll find out about that today too.  He is now on Provigil for Narcolepsy, and Lamictal, for ADHD and suspected bipolar disorder, plus Requip for Restless Leg Syndrome...seems like a lot of meds, but he is doing MUCH better than when he was on Adderall...that drug made him angry and mean...plus, with his newly discovered heart arrhythmia, he should never have been on Adderall in the first place.  He is MUCH improved at home.

 

Yesterday, I kicked him off of our computer.  He was supposed to be working on a Power Point presentation about Washington State.  He went to the website that the teacher suggested, but he was playing around with totally irrelevant stuff on the site...looking up cities that aren't in the region that he is supposed to be focusing on. (Washington Cascade Region).  After several warnings to stay on task with HIS assignment, I kicked him off.  Some of the travel sites have the best info, but the school computers BLOCK all travel sites, so those have to be done at home.  I had found some of the travel sites, but my son briefly looked there, and then he went to the site that he was playing in....nice to know how the sites work, but still needs to stay on task and look up the RELEVANT info only!!  Maybe he'll do better today, knowing the consequences of playing around.

 

Our youngest son is still plugging away at his multiplication tables...he's improving, but he gets some of them mixed up...more practice, practice, practice.  We do multiplication drills on the way to school, when we walk there in the morning.  He studies his multiplication booklet every day too...He's very smart, but memorization isn't his strong suit.

 

Well, on to the day...I have a lot to do in the house before I have to leave for the 504 meeting...Becky

You may well be in for a battle, especially once they see the meds list. It is amazing how many IGNORANT people think that meds are the one, the only, "I don't have to actually DO anything" solution. Of course, too many people want an antibiotic to treat a common cold. WHEN will folks realize that the right meds (if needed) are only part of the picture?? The established behavior patterns need to be "reprogrammed" as well, and that's where you seem to be as of now. Pathetic that professional educators can't see that.

 

Sounds like Youngest is pulling through and will end up OK.

 

We are having our share of "issues" with Anne right now. She's getting her HW done, but she doesn't always grasp the concept of "studying" for a test. The results haven't been disastrous so far (her worst major test grade was a 70 in math and is carrying As & Bs otherwise, I think), but she needs to get with the program to avoid a disaster. Interims come out Tuesday, and Open House is a week from tonight.

 

Issue #2 is her troublemaking "friend"; I've told that story on the "General Advice" board in the Pre-Teen section.

 

Issue #3, as of last night, she has announced that she doesn't really believe in God. Given that I'm a relatively devout, "mainline Protestant" sort & her father is a Fundamentalist, this could become VERY problematic. Stay tuned.

The school counselor had a basic plan already laid out, based on last year's 504 plan.  Actually, they are willing to do the accomodations that I asked for.  They don't have enough text books...only one set of 30, so they have to use the same books all day for all of the students.  I think the next school tax levy needs to include enough text books for everybody.  Anyway, he is allowed to check out any books he needs after school, and bring them back before school.

 

Several issues brought up:  Scott won't write anything for writing assignments.  He sits and picks at his arms and legs during class.  He isn't using his class time wisely.  He is missing assignments in every class, and is failing social studies...that power point presentation can save his grade, if he gets it done. 

 

The health teacher is bending over backward for him...she has given him extra time to finish his test review...tomorrow is a day off (teacher work day), so he will have all day to work on these things.  She sent home a health book with him.

 

Because, in high school, the assignments are turned into an "in" basket and not graded for several days, calling me when an assignment isn't done really isn't practical.  The phone calls from Scott will now be if he isn't using his class time productively...last year, the phone call accomodation really made a difference.  AND, MOM will show up at school for the day if there are too many missed assignments, or if using class time wisely is still an issue.  MOM even eats lunch with him and his friends.  He knows that it isn't an empty threat...MOM has been to school with him before, and I will again, if the need arises.

 

The accomodation for extra time for turning in assignments will only apply if Scott is working hard in class...he could end up with the 5-year plan for high school if he doesn't change his ways.  He really wants to go to a university for college...he's got to get the grades in order to be accepted.  He will probably, due to finances, end up going to the community college for the first two years...although, if it's a music education major he is going for (which is his choice this week), he really needs to be at the university for all 4 years.

 

And, Scott also gets very frustrated and shuts down when he has a lot of work to do...it's as if he doesn't know where to start, so he doesn't do anything.  He does this with writing assignments.  He even came up with a good topic...church youth group to Wild Horse Canyon, Oregon...but he only got his name and the date on the paper.  We've tried the tape recorder strategy, but all he does is play with it...weird sounds, anything but dictating his assignment verbally.

 

Scott is still tapering up on the Lamictal, so he isn't at the theraputic dose yet...I do see some improvement in his moods at home, but the school improvement remains to be seen.

 

Matthew, the younger one, is doing very well...we have to be careful to make sure that we are spending enough time with him because he is so cooperative about getting his work done...Scott gets much more homework attention.  I do Cub Scouts with Matthew, plus we have our time together in the morning, walking to school.  DAD spends time with him doing some of the Cub Scout requirements at home.  I do band stuff and church youth group with Scott.  DAD does yard work and repairs with Scott, when we can let him loose from his homework.

 

Well...the kids are outside letting off some steam...then Scott has to get his nose to the books before band practice tonight.

 

All of our kids are so far not questioning the existence of God...they enjoy Sunday School and Youth Group...Scott is learning a lot at Youth Group...they are teaching the Bible AND morality...abstinence until marriage...they even have given white keys to the kids who sign a contract that they will remain celibate until marriage.  They can then give the key as a gift to their spouse on the wedding night.

 

I'll check out the story on the trouble-making friend...

 

Becky

 Hello all  My son is in kindergarden he is 5. I  have noticed since pre-school that  he has trouble keeping his attention on things. His kindergarden teacher has mentioned to me that she is concerned about my son's attention span in class. That it is hard to keep him focused.. None of that is news to me. He also has had speech therpy for a few years now and still has it in kindergarden. I m really wondering if my son could possible have ADHD. I  don't want to necessary rush him to a doctor and push  MEDS on him. But, if it would help him focus better at  school and at home it might  be worth the try, but he is only 5YRS OLD. I think I might  just  bring him to his pediatrition for an evaluation. It might  just ease my mind some. I want my son to be able to learn well , and concentrate well in school. But  I don't want to wash his brains with  MEDICATION. I m kinda torn in the middle about the Medication issue. My son , has a great personality and loves people and other children his age. Just wanted to post  .. Thanks, Brandi.

So the Spandex is on the shelf for now? LOL

 

The phone call accomodation seems reasonable. Here (already), several of Anne's teachers don't colect HW on a daily basis, but they do a "notebook check" at the end of the unit (the day of the test). It is at that time the assignments are graded. Dunno if I like that or not.

 

Unfortunately, this MOM spending the day at Middle School (if needed) would be an absolute LAST resort. The sight of me pushing my 2-y/o in a stroller through the hallways would be more of a distraction than it would be worth. Finding a babysitter during the school day is nearly impossible, even more so than on a Friday or Saturday night.

 

I think out HS-ers may get more of the abstinence-until-marriage stuff in their discussions, rather than the MS crew. I have to admit, although I'm all for abstinence until marriage (and that preferably not until at least 22), the white key thing stirkes me as a bit of a gimmick, a la those "true love waits" bracelets that were all hyped up a few years back. The surveys I've read/heard about, when only abstinence is taught (ie, no info about STDs or birth control), is that (ballpark figure) 75% of those who made purity pledges at age 13-15 break them before marriage (usually at about age 18-19) and are more likely to end up dealing with an STD and/or unexpected pregnancy b/c they don't have the information to prevent either. End of speech.

 

Let's hope the plan we devised for weekend HW (1/2 Friday night, 1/2 Sunday afternoon, Saturday off x/c for 1/2 hr reading) results in MUCH less nagging by Mom.

You're right...all the preaching in the world, and the kids still have to make their own decisions...good or bad.  I just found out that my 16 year old neice is pregnant and due in December.  My sister and her husband didn't find out until she developed a UTI and kidney infection...whatever labs they did revealed the pregnancy.  I don't know what kind of info my neice had on prevention, but she didn't heed the advice...she plans to keep the baby, and I assume that my sister and her husband will be actively involved in raising the child until my neice is able to do it on her own.  I can only hope that my boys will make better choices.

 

My oldest son is settled in his job and culinary school...it's hard not to tell him how to run his life...He's done a lot of growing up in the last few weeks.  He has to be responsible for collecting the rent from his roommate and getting the rent and electric bills sent on time.  He still calls us every day...that's OK for now...he'll eventually want to call less frequently...some of his questions are trivial, and I just ask him back how he thinks he should handle it.  We are thinking of getting him a land line phone though...the other day, I needed to get hold of him, and his cell phone kept going straight to voice mail...apparently, he had let the battery die, and he forgot to turn the phone back on when he plugged it in...sometimes, there are unexpected emergencies where we might have to reach him, or if he ever loses or breaks his cell phone, he needs a way to reach us.  Maybe I worry too much.  His roommate paid him CASH for his rent this month...now he has to find a safe way to transport a bunch of $20 bills to the bank...they won't fit in his wallet...maybe a zip-up coat pocket??  We have a stake in his getting that money to the bank, as we loaned him the money to pay the OCT rent on time until the roommate paid (just moved in yesterday)...once he has deposited the roommate's share of the rent, we can deposit the check he wrote to us to pay back the loan...again, I worry too much.

 

The emails are so far working for my middle son...a couple of his teachers have answered them...and I don't see any recent missing assignments on the school's web site...but those tend to be a week behind...subject to the teachers getting the assignments posted.  He has had to call me one time for not using his class time effictively.  I think we finally got the message through that if there is a book assignment, he needs to READ the chapter BEFORE trying to answer the questions on the worksheets.  He is also learning to not save the two-day assignments for the last night...do half on the first night, and then there won't be so much pressure to get it done at the last minute...still MOM is finding out about assignments through the emails, and I have caught him a couple of times saying that he had no assignments in a particular class, when he indeed did have an assignment.

 

Well, I'm really glad to have the boards back...I'm "old" (46), and I'm not computer saavy at all...the technical help was blocked, and I never found instructions to get to the board...I was pleasantly surprised when I found the old format...why re-invent the wheel???

 

I like your idea for the weekend homework...I'll give that a try too....Becky

Good to *see* ya back!

 

The "new" board setup was a real PITA for me, although I tried to slog through & learn how to navigate it. Some of the features are really nice, ie, you can send messages to your DrP.com "friends" without having to provide them your own e-mail addy. However, the miniscule font and navigation (as well as the "black hole" of content spanning over 2 weeks!) were headache-inducing.

 

So far, the plan for weekend HW is working, more or less. We are really having to drum in the concept of "don't wait until the night before the test to look over the material." We had interims come out last week, and her overall grades are OK (Bs, 1 A-), but I notice that there are a LOT of "gimme" points in the setup - eg, simply turning in the assignments on time, keeping the notebook the way the teacher wants it. Some of Anne's test grades aren't quite up to snuff - I'm seeing too many scores where the first digit is < 8, and she is certainly capable of that much. Owing to his participation in band, maybe Scott(?) would prefer to have the Fridays off, and tackle the stuff over Saturday & Sunday?

 

I think your oldest will manage fine. And, he'll learn, too, from his mistakes, just as we did.

 

Knowhatcha mean about the offspring making good choices. We are still going round-and round about that one friend of Anne's. As far as your niece goes, you have my sympathy [I think when any young female comes in complaining of pain "down there," a pregnancy test is done as a matter of routine, as well as screening for STDs that could also cause that sort of pain].

 

Need to get Jack up from his nap.

 

John got his money to the bank...my anxiety much reduced.  We have been talking on the phone with him every day...might not need to talk to him today, unless he calls us.  As long as John works at least 20 hours per week, he'll have enough to pay the rent.  He gets some tips at his job...it is at a retirement home, so the only tips are from visitors who stay for lunch...but enough for him to have some "fun" money...he's happy about that...Mc D's here he comes!!

 

Scott has a band festival this weekend, so the weekend homework will have to be scheduled around that...He was supposed to to a rough draft on a story...just started it last night.  He got the first couple of sentences, and then he gave me details of the story verbally.  I told him to list the key words that would remind him of the main ideas.  He is using the computer to write his story...seems to get the work done much faster than with a pencil.  He put down a lot of key words...if he finishes it, it should be a pretty good story.  We had to make him quit working on it for band practice.  After practice, he had to work on his Social Studies assignment.  He is missing English class today because the band teacher is having them do a double period of practice, in preparation for this weekend.  They still have a real problem with kids not showing up for the evening practices...frustrating...it is a small band, so kicking them out isn't really feasible...but I still think it should be handled like sports...no practice, get kicked out. 

 

Matthew has slacked off on his reading at home, so now he is reading extra to catch up...we got a note that he is behind on his AR points.  We've had to do some prodding to get him to get started on his homework...hungry and tired after school...after some food and a play period, he has to get busy...once he starts, he finishes without further prodding...quite a contrast to his older brothers.  He doesn't have ADHD like both of his older brothers do...really makes a difference.  We are still working diligently on his multiplication memorization...I've stressed the importance of really knowing the multiplication tables...when he gets to the more complicated work, it would take him forever if he is slow on the multiplication answers.  He knows them well, but when you put a clock to it, the answers "fly out of his head".  We have been playing a game called "beat dad" at the multiplication...whoever says the answer first gets the point, and whoever is last with the answer has to repeat the problem and answer 4 times...it's just a fun way to learn.

 

We have to keep Scott and Matthew separated during homework time...they tend to distract each other...pushing each other's buttons.  Scott is much better since starting the Lamictal six weeks ago...his moods seem much more stable, and there are much fewer tears over the homework...he seems to accept the fact that the homework has to get done...he still takes longer than he should...picks at himself a lot...we will address that issue at the next appointment with the psychiatrist...I don't have to sit right next to him most of the time...but there are some days that he just can't seem to get it going...no TV, no music, quiet envionment...no bugging from little brother...minimal distractions as much as practically possible.

 

Matthew has been selling Cub Scout popcorn...so far, sales are good...since the Pack didn't want to bother with the sale, Matthew is doing it individually...he already has raised enough for camp...now he's working on raising enough to get his Webelos uniform (when they advance ranks to Webelos, they wear the same uniform as the Boy Scouts).  We still need to get down to my husband's work to sell to his co-workers, plus the elementary school.  He will receive his portion of the sales in "Scout Bucks", valid for anything at the Scout Shop, including camp fees, uniform, camping gear, hiking stick, kits to earn badges, etc.  He is really excited to be getting the new uniform.  It's hard work for both of us because I go with him for all of his sales...He does the sales pitch and cash transactions...I'm just there as the transportation and to keep him from losing the money.  He is a really good salesman...that kind of thing really boosts his confidence and communication skills.

 

My sister and her husband were really caught off guard with their daughter's pregnancy...they'll deal with it...I'm not sure how much the baby's father will be involved...those teen romances don't usually last.  Over on the General Advice board, I've had a rather heated discussion about teenage boys and whether to allow them to view porn...the person with whom I've been "talking" is from Europe, where they apparently don't share the same attitudes as most conservative Americans...not to stereo type or anything, but they seem much more liberal over there.  Even their TV ads have some upper body nudity...I believe in facts, not porn...kids will make their own decisions...we are here to give them the moral guidelines, but letting them view porn isn't the way to educate boys about the opposite sex...porn is so disrespectful of all women...well, that discussion is on the other board...I just have my own strong opinions, apparently not shared by all. I just hope that my own sons will make good choices.

 

Need to get back to that laundry...it just never ends...it's like everybody changes their clothes every day, or something...hee hee....Becky

We had our school conferences this week.  Our youngest son, M, is doing really well...he is reading up a storm, and the teacher wishes she had a class full of kids like him.  He is really showing great leadership skills.

 

Our middle son, S, is still struggling...needs to be honest about his homework assignments...he does really well on tests and the assignments that he does turn in...what's killing his grades are the ones that he doesn't do.  He has D's in science, social studies, and health...we want to see him bring those grades up to B's by the end of the trimester...do-able, if he does all of his work for the rest of it.  We are still trying to get a reduction of work on his 504 plan...the teachers are being resistant to this one...they say that it would "compromise" his learning...we just want to eliminate the busy-work assignments, like the word searches, and mixed-up words...total waste of time in my opinion.

 

Well, off to the laundry...Becky

I hear ya on the "busy work" stuff. Sheesh. The teachers are probably telling you that they have to do this to reach the students with different learning styles, etc., etc. The reality is that they don't want Joe or Suzy's parents getting wind of it and then accusing that teacher of giving S--- special treatment, and why can't my Joe or Suzy get that?

 

Anne SHOULD have all 1 A & the rest Bs for the quarter that ends Monday. The wild card is math. She didn't do so hot (70) on her latest test, and she was in the low-B area, but we'll see. It's frustrating with the projects, though. We just got a "Book Talk" (oral book report with a "creative element") out of the way, and she came home with a social studies project to make a pyramid (they are studying Egypt right now) representative of her, including an essay! Guess who gets to supervise the gluing of craft sticks this weekend?

 

This, squeezed in with our church's 25th anniversary celebration activities, a gala dinner tomorrow night, and a BBQ picnic lunch on Sunday that I expect will take up half the afternoon.

 

The drama that is M--- is abating (for now), fortunately. I have enough drama to deal with with Jack's potty training that I have ramped up in recent weeks. He is FINALLY starting to get the hang of it. Talk about laundry!! LOL LOL

 

It's dinner hour here, so I should prepare something edible for the troops.

 

Prof