I met with the school counselor, and a student counselor intern today. We went over, in depth, my perception of Scott's homework problems....to put it simply, he's not doing it...he sits and stares at it, plays with dust specks, or complains about every little noise in the room...anything to avoid actually working...avoiding any kind of engagement in his work...it is really frustrating. He is also doing NOTHING in class toward his assignments.
Basically, when Scott doesn't work in class, it goes unnoticed because he is not disruptive...he quietly gets away with doing nothing. Then, he comes home saying that he finished his work and turned it in.
We came up with a multi-faceted plan to motivate Scott to do his work...because I think it is lack of motivation...lack of seeing the long-term consequences of not doing his daily work.
1. Scott will earn 5 minutes of computer time for each current assignment that he brings home and shows me...I will ask him every day to show me his work. If he finished it and turned it in, or if there was truely no assignment for the day, he needs to get a note and signature in his planner from the teacher. If he has nothing to show me, then he doesn't earn that time. When the assignment is complete, or for multiple-day assignments, if the proper proportion of the assignment is complete, he will earn another 5 minutes. This adds up to 40 minutes. He wil earn the other 20 minutes by reading his AR book for an hour...that is an hour per day on the computer, if he earns it.
2. Scott will continue to earn 50 cents per day on his allowance for meeting the above requirements...long term reward, as allowance is paid every two weeks...and every day adds up...
3. We are not going to have him make up the past missing work...fresh start from today on...the missing work will have less impact on his overall grade with every assignment that he turns in. If he does any of the past missing assignments, he will get bonus points toward computer time. With so many missing assignments, there it is not physically possible for him to do them, so it is best just to cut our losses.
4. We will talk with him and come up with a long-term reward, and incremental rewards, for bringing up his cumulative averages on his grades...currently hovering at 40% or less in Math, Social Studies, and Science...I don't know what these will be...we will find out what Scott wants to earn...nothing that costs a lot of money, as we are not rich...maybe a trip out for ice cream, or a pay-per-view movie...or a Saturday of all day TV, where he gets to pick everything that's on...we don't usually allow TV on Saturdays after 9 AM...if they want cartoons, the kids have to get up early. I don't know...we'll see what sparks his interest.
5. Scott will have to sign a contract agreeing to the terms set above...the consequences for not doing his work is the reduction or revocation of computer time.
We will still allow for an hour of snack/play time for both boys right after school...they need some time for exercise and to wind down after school.
Now, the task is to come up with something that feels fair to Matthew...he has no problem doing his work in school, and getting his homework done. He also reads for an hour a day. Then, he gets his hour on the computer...simple as that. He earns his 50 cents every day for his homework and reading. We need to get creative and find some goals that he wants to achieve, so he, too, can earn some type of extra rewards.
I realize that some people feel that kids shouldn't be paid for doing their homework, but incentives work better than punishments...the punishment being the denial of the incentive reward...and we don't believe in "free" allowance...it's not an entitlement. We also pay small amounts for chores...they are expected to do them, and they get rewarded for doing a good job...10 cents for taking out the trash, 20 cents for doing the dishes, etc...doing the chores daily adds up...extra chores outside of the normal expectations earn even more...there is a potential for the kids to earn up to $15 in two weeks. BUT only a good job done earns the reward...they have to go back and re-do it, if it is not done well the first time.
The point of Scott's contract is to start having some immediate consequences for his homework, since, right now, it is completely out of control...seeing the allowance, or lack of it, every two weeks doesn't seem to sink in with him. And yelling does nothing but add to my own frustration.
Scott wants to do his homework in his room, unsupervised. We will be checking on him after 30 minutes. If he has made the expected amount of progress, he can continue to work there. If not, he has to come out to the dining room, or to the couch for the next 30 minutes. Perhaps with the new incremented computer time earnings, he will be motivated to work....I'm not sure, though, how we'll deal with it if not all of the homework is finished by the cut-off time for having time on the computer...do we let him have the computer time he has earned for assignments completed when not all of the assignments are completed, or does it accumulate for another day (which kind of defeats the purpose of immediate rewards)?
I'll keep everybody posted on how this plan works out. We need to make sure that Matthew is getting the attention that he deserves...the quiet, compliant child can easily be cheated on parental time when there is another one who requires so much attention.
Becky
