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Topic : School Issues

Number of Replies: 685
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 01:14:15 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child dread going to school? Are they having problems with unfinished homework or slipping grades? Is their a personality conflict with their teacher? Share your school issues here and get advice and support from other parents.

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October 20, 2005, 11:55 am CDT

Bullying

This is my first time on this sight.  I love Dr.Phil!  My son  is always getting picked on at school.  Girls like him but the boys call him Gayfield, ask him if he was molested , purposely run into him at school, ect..   

  My son has ADHD it only seems to affect his school work, and he talks alot, other than that he's pretty mellow.  I don't have him on meds., which I guess could be a good thing considering all the problems out there.  My son gets lets his agression build up, I am afraid he might explode someday I just don't know what direction in or out.  He's a cute kid and far from gay, and he's a good build.  How do we deter these iggnorant bullies?? 

 
October 21, 2005, 6:44 am CDT

bullies

Quote From: perrymom

This is my first time on this sight.  I love Dr.Phil!  My son  is always getting picked on at school.  Girls like him but the boys call him Gayfield, ask him if he was molested , purposely run into him at school, ect..   

  My son has ADHD it only seems to affect his school work, and he talks alot, other than that he's pretty mellow.  I don't have him on meds., which I guess could be a good thing considering all the problems out there.  My son gets lets his agression build up, I am afraid he might explode someday I just don't know what direction in or out.  He's a cute kid and far from gay, and he's a good build.  How do we deter these iggnorant bullies?? 

I would talk to the school principal first and see if she/he cant straighten it out with the bullies.  I would also enroll your child in martial arts if you can. That way he can defend himself when needed. We are going to do this with our son. Another thing to do is to call the bullies parents and let them know what they are doing to your son. Let them know that if it doesnt stop you will press harassment charges on the kids. Let the school know that too. The schools have a policy of no bullying, so report it to them. I have already had to do this with my teenage daughter being harassed at school. I called the parents as well and told them I will press charges if their kid puts her hands on my daughter. They backed off of her because the parents did not want to go to court. Good luck!
 
October 23, 2005, 6:21 am CDT

try other things before medicating

Quote From: flash1190

He turned 4 at the end of June. He is in junior kindergarten. He is not the youngest, there is a 3 yr old in his class. He is hyper at home, always on the go. He does listen and follow directions 90% of the time. Sometimes he will play in his room with his toys by himself. He is not used to being around kids his age....his siblings are 9 and 13. I do not want him on any medication, his mother has already suggested Ridalin. Are there things that we could take out of his diet that would trigger this kind of behaviour? or is it normal for him to act this way when he has had no real interaction with kids his age?
I'm not saying that meds should never be used when a kid has ADHD.  I just think 4 years old is awfully young to start medicating, especially if there are other options out there that haven't been tried yet.
 
October 23, 2005, 8:39 am CDT

School Issues

Quote From: drphil3fan

Hey, I am 14 yrs. old, and i'm just thinking that maybe you should sit down with your son, and ask him how he really feels about this New school is to him, and what is making him not liking it? I think it's good to have a relationship with you children so, later on in when they get older they will feel more comfotable to talk to you. So, Yeah i'd sit down and talk to  him about, why is it so bad there? I mean he's really young too! Write back ASAP!
         I'm glad i could put my oppion here!!***

Mainly it's the kids in the school, theyve already formed 'clicks' (believe it or not in second grade).  I think it's hard for him to get into one group of friends.  I keep telling him to give it some time, and some days I think he's okay with the school but other days he just gets so sad, as if he's depressed and frustrated about it all.  I've talked to his teacher about it already and she seemed to understand maybe I'll speak to her again. 

  

You're 14 years old, did you ever have to try to make new friends, when everyone was already in their clicks?  What advice do you have? 

 
October 23, 2005, 8:25 pm CDT

To parents

 I just wanted to remind all the parents out there that sometimes dificulties in school are a relfection of completely non school related things. I know for me, many of my problems with school are a result of trying to deal with depression. It saps your motivation, especially when it seems like suicide is inevitable so its not like your grades are really going to matter. I've known other kids who had stuff going on in their relationships with boyfriends who were totally distrought and were most certainly not focused on thier schoolwork. And sometimes, quite frankly the stress gets to you. You get overwhelmed by the amount or difficulty of the work and you don't know how to deal with it so you just don't deal with it and you create a nasty cycle.

I guess my point is to be slow to lable someone as lazy, stupid, or a troublemaker if you don't know everything that is going on.
 
October 24, 2005, 5:07 pm CDT

autism

Quote From: joyceymay

I have a son with Aspergers' (a milder form of PDD) who USED to have a lot of sensory issues to deal with.  But there are therapies out there to deal with Sensory Processing Disorders.  Occupational Therapists can help.  For my son, it was crucial that we deal with the sound sensitivity, so he also had Berard Auditory Integration Training.  He also had vision therapy supervised by an optometrist who is a Fellow of the College of Optometric Vision Development. 

  

I can't say that any of these therapies were a cure-all.  My son still has Asperger's and needs help developing social skills, but he is able to get through the day with much less stress and needs a lot less support than he would have otherwise.  (His only modification is extra time for tests and he rarely sees his consultant teacher.)  He can also enjoy activities that he would have totally avoided before--such as being a statistician for the high school basketball team.  (He wouldn't have been able to tolerate going to a basketball game before, due to the overstimulation.) 

  

I am totally frustrated that treatments that I have just described are so hard to get (you often have to pay for them out of your own pocket, like we did).  Meanwhile, it's a lot more expensive for schools to pay for the additional support (special education teachers, speech services, 1:1 aides, etc.) but they do it anyway.   

  

yeah, i know about all those therapies. those kind of therapies wouldn't really help my daughter though. she's mostly stressed and overwhelmed by day to day activities in a typical jr. high. this teacher wants it done this way, that teacher wants it done that way, etc.  i'm also very familiar with the school system, because i work in her school. i'm a 1:1 aide to a student, who in my opinion, has parents who are doing him a disservice by insisting he be in general ed classes all day, instead of a lifeskills class. anyways, i've said it before...with the cdc releasing new numbers this year(1 in 166 babies born will have some type of autism) the school systems better start making plans now! 
 
October 24, 2005, 6:10 pm CDT

How do I help my 9 year old?

  I have a 9 year old girl, whom has a been tested from the school last year at age 8 and when all was said and done they determined that she may have Auditory processing problems, This being said last year she was sent home from school several time's because in their mind's ( their being the school) she was refusing to do her work or being Defiant/Insubordinate. While in her mind she was trying to figure out what an answer was, Be for all the testing was complete and just so happened the last time they called my to pick her up she refuse to leave because in her word's she just wanted to stay and learn, don't get me wrong she wasn't throwing a fit or anything she was sitting in a chair crying. Then they called the police on her to have her removed and with that she was threatened to have handcuffs put on her, also to have her flipped over the officer's shoulder and to be taken to jail if she didn't get up and leave, after about 5 to 10 min. of this the officer finally turned to ask why he was there. Now this year she is being picked on by other's and when she report's it it takes me getting involved before that gets taken care of they act like she is just making it up this with her telling me she is afraid that what happened last year will happen again. How do I get her to understand that APP is not something that she caused and that what happened last year isn't something that she should worry about instead of her school work? In other word's she worries about being picked on and being sent home for trying more than her work
 
October 24, 2005, 9:44 pm CDT

an update on "Jamie"

Quote From: joyceymay

I'm a 1:1 aide for "Jamie," a 3 1/2 year old with symptoms of ADHD, who is an integrated preschool program.  I also have a 16 y/o son who was diagnosed with PDD (an autism spectrum disorder that is a lot more complex than ADHD) at age 3. . . My gut feeling is that there are a number of factors here.  If he's not used to being around kids his age, that could definitely be a factor, but there are probably other reasons for his behavior as well.  It might help to get him tested and hopefully "identified" by the school, so that he could have a 1:1 aide.  "Jamie's" behavior improved a lot when I came into the picture.  (Make sure that his teachers are carefully documenting every episode so that it will be easier to make your case to the committee.)  Your little guy also needs a consistent plan for dealing with his inappropriate behavior.  Everybody that is responsible for managing his behavior needs to be on the same page. 

  

I also think that it's very possible that there are foods in your step-son's diet that could be triggering his symptoms.  We put my son on the Feingold diet (see www.feingold.org) starting at about age 4.  It helped a lot, but wasn't the total answer.  It turned out that my son also had some sensitivities to some natural foods that were allowed on the Feingold Diet.  For help identifying other possible problem foods, I recommend reading Is This Your Child? by Dr. Doris Rapp.  I took my son to a dr who did the same type of testing and treatment as Dr. Rapp.  It made a world of difference.  (You don't have to see a special doc.  You can just follow the guidelines in the book.)  At first, it seems like a lot of work, but there are big pay-offs in the long run. 

  

To say that my son has come a long way over the past 12 years is an understatement.  He was in a self-contained special ed preschool class and got every single service that they had to offer.  His preschool teachers doubted that he would be able to function appropriately in a regular kindergarten class.  Fast forward to 11th grade . . . My son is in all college prep classes.  He's even in 3 honors classes (2 of which will enable him to receive college credit by the end of the school year).  He gets extra time for tests, but that's it.  He needs no other supports.  His teachers all love him.  They're constantly saying things like "He's a pleasure to have in class."  His peers admire and respect him.  He even has a date for the prom already.  I'm not saying this to brag.  I just want to make the point that positive changes are very possible, and my son has been able to make all of these changes without ever going on medication. 

"Circle time" is normally "Jamie's" worst time of day.  (He is 3 1/2 and has several symptoms of ADHD.)  He usually has a hard time sitting still and listening during circle.  We know that Jamie needs lots of sensory input, so today one of his teachers sat behind him during Circle Time and gently massaged his shoulders, back, and arms.  He was like a completely different kid!  He sat quietly and was actually engaged in the story that was being read.  He even responded appropriately.  What's more, it was easier to manage his behavior after Circle Time was over. 

 
October 25, 2005, 4:03 am CDT

School Issues

Quote From: west28

yeah, i know about all those therapies. those kind of therapies wouldn't really help my daughter though. she's mostly stressed and overwhelmed by day to day activities in a typical jr. high. this teacher wants it done this way, that teacher wants it done that way, etc.  i'm also very familiar with the school system, because i work in her school. i'm a 1:1 aide to a student, who in my opinion, has parents who are doing him a disservice by insisting he be in general ed classes all day, instead of a lifeskills class. anyways, i've said it before...with the cdc releasing new numbers this year(1 in 166 babies born will have some type of autism) the school systems better start making plans now! 
My son used to have problems with the same sorts of things that you mention--before we dealt with the sensory stuff that was the root cause of his difficulties.  (We also dealt with biochemical stuff using nutrition and diet.)  Now he's in high school, where there are fewer built-in supports (for everybody) and he's still thriving. 
 
October 25, 2005, 4:13 am CDT

deal with causes, not just symptoms

Quote From: joyceymay

My son used to have problems with the same sorts of things that you mention--before we dealt with the sensory stuff that was the root cause of his difficulties.  (We also dealt with biochemical stuff using nutrition and diet.)  Now he's in high school, where there are fewer built-in supports (for everybody) and he's still thriving. 
I think the school systems would do a much more effective job of dealing with learning and behavioral problems if they tried to understand and address the CAUSES, rather than just reacting to sypmtoms. . . Take reading for example.  The latest trend is to do a lot of drill and practice with phonics.  Not everybody needs that.  And when a kid struggles they just give them more of the same, rather than trying to figure out what he/she really needs.
 
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