Topic : School Issues

This is my first time on this sight.  I love Dr.Phil!  My son  is always getting picked on at school.  Girls like him but the boys call him Gayfield, ask him if he was molested , purposely run into him at school, ect..   

  My son has ADHD it only seems to affect his school work, and he talks alot, other than that he's pretty mellow.  I don't have him on meds., which I guess could be a good thing considering all the problems out there.  My son gets lets his agression build up, I am afraid he might explode someday I just don't know what direction in or out.  He's a cute kid and far from gay, and he's a good build.  How do we deter these iggnorant bullies?? 

I have a son with Aspergers' (a milder form of PDD) who USED to have a lot of sensory issues to deal with.  But there are therapies out there to deal with Sensory Processing Disorders.  Occupational Therapists can help.  For my son, it was crucial that we deal with the sound sensitivity, so he also had Berard Auditory Integration Training.  He also had vision therapy supervised by an optometrist who is a Fellow of the College of Optometric Vision Development. 

I can't say that any of these therapies were a cure-all.  My son still has Asperger's and needs help developing social skills, but he is able to get through the day with much less stress and needs a lot less support than he would have otherwise.  (His only modification is extra time for tests and he rarely sees his consultant teacher.)  He can also enjoy activities that he would have totally avoided before--such as being a statistician for the high school basketball team.  (He wouldn't have been able to tolerate going to a basketball game before, due to the overstimulation.) 

I am totally frustrated that treatments that I have just described are so hard to get (you often have to pay for them out of your own pocket, like we did).  Meanwhile, it's a lot more expensive for schools to pay for the additional support (special education teachers, speech services, 1:1 aides, etc.) but they do it anyway.   

I'm a 1:1 aide for "Jamie," a 3 1/2 year old with symptoms of ADHD, who is an integrated preschool program.  I also have a 16 y/o son who was diagnosed with PDD (an autism spectrum disorder that is a lot more complex than ADHD) at age 3. . . My gut feeling is that there are a number of factors here.  If he's not used to being around kids his age, that could definitely be a factor, but there are probably other reasons for his behavior as well.  It might help to get him tested and hopefully "identified" by the school, so that he could have a 1:1 aide.  "Jamie's" behavior improved a lot when I came into the picture.  (Make sure that his teachers are carefully documenting every episode so that it will be easier to make your case to the committee.)  Your little guy also needs a consistent plan for dealing with his inappropriate behavior.  Everybody that is responsible for managing his behavior needs to be on the same page. 

I also think that it's very possible that there are foods in your step-son's diet that could be triggering his symptoms.  We put my son on the Feingold diet (see www.feingold.org) starting at about age 4.  It helped a lot, but wasn't the total answer.  It turned out that my son also had some sensitivities to some natural foods that were allowed on the Feingold Diet.  For help identifying other possible problem foods, I recommend reading Is This Your Child? by Dr. Doris Rapp.  I took my son to a dr who did the same type of testing and treatment as Dr. Rapp.  It made a world of difference.  (You don't have to see a special doc.  You can just follow the guidelines in the book.)  At first, it seems like a lot of work, but there are big pay-offs in the long run. 

To say that my son has come a long way over the past 12 years is an understatement.  He was in a self-contained special ed preschool class and got every single service that they had to offer.  His preschool teachers doubted that he would be able to function appropriately in a regular kindergarten class.  Fast forward to 11th grade . . . My son is in all college prep classes.  He's even in 3 honors classes (2 of which will enable him to receive college credit by the end of the school year).  He gets extra time for tests, but that's it.  He needs no other supports.  His teachers all love him.  They're constantly saying things like "He's a pleasure to have in class."  His peers admire and respect him.  He even has a date for the prom already.  I'm not saying this to brag.  I just want to make the point that positive changes are very possible, and my son has been able to make all of these changes without ever going on medication.