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Topic : School Issues

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 01:14:15 pm
Author : dataimport

Does your child dread going to school? Are they having problems with unfinished homework or slipping grades? Is their a personality conflict with their teacher? Share your school issues here and get advice and support from other parents.



 
telsnau
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October 25, 2005, 8:34 am PDT

Child sick in school

   I have a 7 year old daughter who has an anxiety problem.  When she gets over excited she pukes ( gross I know ), but in our home we make no big deal over her getting sick in the event that something exciting is going  to or has happened.  In the past this happened all the time like 5-6 days a week. She has been to a counsler, and is down to hardly ever throwing up unless the situation is extremely exciting. 

  

   My problem is this. I have talked and talked with her teachers and the nurse of the schools, and it has done me no good. Like yesterday for example  the school was taking a field trip to visit the local Caverns which is really exciting and of course when my daughter got to school she threw up. The school calls me to come check on my daughter ( which is 100 % ok ) the problem is when I got there they wanted to send her home. I know for a fact that my daughter was not "sick sick" she was just really excited over this field trip. I told them her throwing up was " no big deal" and that she was alright.  The secretary and another staff of the school where standing there and of course got this " omg you horride mother" look on their face.  The woman who I don't know who she is was like  " she needs to go home shes peaked and pale" WELL DUH she did just puke.   

  

  The end result was my daughter was not allowed to go on the field trip unless I fallowed the bus down in my car. I don't drive so this was not an option.  So of course I got to be the bad guy in it all because I was the one who had to tell her she couldn't go. No one at the school would let her go including the teacher who I explained the throwing up thing too.  

  

   My question is this. What am I to do, if the school sends her home over her puking during exciting events at the school, my daughter is not going to be able to participate in any school funtion weather it be a school field trip or school parties.  I don't want my daughter to be known as " the girl who pukes" and as long as the school makes a big deal over it the more it will happen. How do I get them to understand? There is more to the whole thing but I don't want to bore with every detail. If someone has any words of advice it would greatly appreciate it greatly. 
 
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jettav
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October 25, 2005, 9:05 am PDT

School Issues

Quote From: telsnau

   I have a 7 year old daughter who has an anxiety problem.  When she gets over excited she pukes ( gross I know ), but in our home we make no big deal over her getting sick in the event that something exciting is going  to or has happened.  In the past this happened all the time like 5-6 days a week. She has been to a counsler, and is down to hardly ever throwing up unless the situation is extremely exciting. 

  

   My problem is this. I have talked and talked with her teachers and the nurse of the schools, and it has done me no good. Like yesterday for example  the school was taking a field trip to visit the local Caverns which is really exciting and of course when my daughter got to school she threw up. The school calls me to come check on my daughter ( which is 100 % ok ) the problem is when I got there they wanted to send her home. I know for a fact that my daughter was not "sick sick" she was just really excited over this field trip. I told them her throwing up was " no big deal" and that she was alright.  The secretary and another staff of the school where standing there and of course got this " omg you horride mother" look on their face.  The woman who I don't know who she is was like  " she needs to go home shes peaked and pale" WELL DUH she did just puke.   

  

  The end result was my daughter was not allowed to go on the field trip unless I fallowed the bus down in my car. I don't drive so this was not an option.  So of course I got to be the bad guy in it all because I was the one who had to tell her she couldn't go. No one at the school would let her go including the teacher who I explained the throwing up thing too.  

  

   My question is this. What am I to do, if the school sends her home over her puking during exciting events at the school, my daughter is not going to be able to participate in any school funtion weather it be a school field trip or school parties.  I don't want my daughter to be known as " the girl who pukes" and as long as the school makes a big deal over it the more it will happen. How do I get them to understand? There is more to the whole thing but I don't want to bore with every detail. If someone has any words of advice it would greatly appreciate it greatly. 

I understand your concern and all and I think you are ina bad situation but on the other hand, it isn't the teachers job to clean up puke all day long, maybe, there is a way that you can gt her to the field trips maybe a family frined, her father, relative, whatever, and do you go to the school parties and all, I think it is really a no win situation. My daughter used to pull her hair out when she was overwhelmed or a lot of changes were happening and it was a very stresssful time for all of us, I did take her to the doctor and all and this is when we realized that she probably had a hair pulling disorder (and yes there is a name for it) but positive reinforcement was all that could be done with it, we always talk to her ahead of time when ever there was something different happening then the original plan, we always talk up to the event and the day of, we just do the activity, we talk about what stresses her out and what we can do to make her feel at ease, communication does wonders, and though I realize this is a little different Maybe in your case, maybe if you don't talk much about the activity comeing up, she won't get as excited about it, maybe by not talking about it will help, I don't know, I wish I had more advice for you, just hang in there and I am sure she will outgrow it , Maybe talk to the staff as well and have it all written out for them to prepare them for this which I know that you have probably done many times, just stay consistent, communicate with all involved and stay calmed.
 
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jettav
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October 25, 2005, 9:10 am PDT

School Issues

Quote From: joyceymay

I think the school systems would do a much more effective job of dealing with learning and behavioral problems if they tried to understand and address the CAUSES, rather than just reacting to sypmtoms. . . Take reading for example.  The latest trend is to do a lot of drill and practice with phonics.  Not everybody needs that.  And when a kid struggles they just give them more of the same, rather than trying to figure out what he/she really needs.
This is one of the problems with the public school systems, there just isn't time or may not be feasable to meet every childs needs as there are many needs represented in the system. it's too bad that they can't figure out a way to work with kids on an individual level as well as go in paces, allowing the children to work at their own pace, I think they would learn a whole lot more and it could be easier on the teachers as well. Not sure if there is really a good solution with this type of problem, maybe class sizes should be cut lower and of course that would mean more teachers/assistances, fundings, wages, space. Would be nice though to be able to teach and to reach every child ontheir own levels.
 
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telsnau
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October 25, 2005, 12:01 pm PDT

thank you for the reply

Quote From: jettav

I understand your concern and all and I think you are ina bad situation but on the other hand, it isn't the teachers job to clean up puke all day long, maybe, there is a way that you can gt her to the field trips maybe a family frined, her father, relative, whatever, and do you go to the school parties and all, I think it is really a no win situation. My daughter used to pull her hair out when she was overwhelmed or a lot of changes were happening and it was a very stresssful time for all of us, I did take her to the doctor and all and this is when we realized that she probably had a hair pulling disorder (and yes there is a name for it) but positive reinforcement was all that could be done with it, we always talk to her ahead of time when ever there was something different happening then the original plan, we always talk up to the event and the day of, we just do the activity, we talk about what stresses her out and what we can do to make her feel at ease, communication does wonders, and though I realize this is a little different Maybe in your case, maybe if you don't talk much about the activity comeing up, she won't get as excited about it, maybe by not talking about it will help, I don't know, I wish I had more advice for you, just hang in there and I am sure she will outgrow it , Maybe talk to the staff as well and have it all written out for them to prepare them for this which I know that you have probably done many times, just stay consistent, communicate with all involved and stay calmed.

 The thing is she doesn't puke all day or even everyday. Yesterday was the first time of this school year, and now that the school has made a big deal of it, she is going to stress over it even more now.  I have learned to tell her before hand what the activity is, but in cases like this one it was a totally new experience. She was up all night thinking about her upcoming field trip.  

  For her positive reinforcement doesn't always work, but I have taken the advice of her counsler and it has worked to a great extent. She used to puke almost every morning before school. Now she doesn't.  Yesterday was the first time she has puked ( with anxiety ) in over 2 monthes. Her counsler says at the moment is up in the air if she will out grow it, and if not there is things they can do once she is older, and can understand things a little better.  I just don't want her to be able to enjoy all the fun things school does have to offer, and I fear that now that she knows how they will react that she is more likely to do it more often, and possibly sent home.  

  The hardest thing you mentioned is staying calmed. Having people look at you like your a horrible mother over something they don't understand is nerve racking at times. Currently I am working on getting the documentation from her counsler on her disorder. However I don't feel the whole school has the right to know.  
 
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homesch3

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October 25, 2005, 3:36 pm PDT

Homeschool Option

Have any of you with children who are having terrible problems at school considered, or even open to the possibility of homeschooling?  It's cost effective, children do very well,  and has been shown to be a very viable alternative to shoveling them off on a system that doesn't give a hang about them.  I speak from experience, as I have been homeschooling for 8 years.  Thought I would NEVER do it, now, I don't plan to stop.  My girls are in 7th, 3rd and 1st grades, all doing well academically, socially, emotionally and are wonderful kids.  Just a thought.
 
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jettav
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October 25, 2005, 6:22 pm PDT

School Issues

Quote From: telsnau

 The thing is she doesn't puke all day or even everyday. Yesterday was the first time of this school year, and now that the school has made a big deal of it, she is going to stress over it even more now.  I have learned to tell her before hand what the activity is, but in cases like this one it was a totally new experience. She was up all night thinking about her upcoming field trip.  

  For her positive reinforcement doesn't always work, but I have taken the advice of her counsler and it has worked to a great extent. She used to puke almost every morning before school. Now she doesn't.  Yesterday was the first time she has puked ( with anxiety ) in over 2 monthes. Her counsler says at the moment is up in the air if she will out grow it, and if not there is things they can do once she is older, and can understand things a little better.  I just don't want her to be able to enjoy all the fun things school does have to offer, and I fear that now that she knows how they will react that she is more likely to do it more often, and possibly sent home.  

  The hardest thing you mentioned is staying calmed. Having people look at you like your a horrible mother over something they don't understand is nerve racking at times. Currently I am working on getting the documentation from her counsler on her disorder. However I don't feel the whole school has the right to know.  

I understand about what you are saying about people looking at you and all, when I took my daughter to the doctor, you could tell that she had less hair on one side then the other, very noticeable, I noticed one "mother" staring at her and I sure did want to say something to her but it wasn't very nice what I wanted to say but I kept quiet, she did eventually mention the fact that her hair was thin and I told her,"well that is why we are here', I didn't go into detail but just the idea of letting her know taht it is a problem that we were dealing with, but yet we shouldn't have to explain anything to people, my daughter is loving, smart, socialable, a very pleasent happy little girl and for someone to think that I am a bad mom or whatever rubs me the wrong way, I love my family and am very blessed with the husband and girls that I have, we just do the best that we can and go one day at a time, thankfully for us, my daughter doesn't pull any more but we are well aware of the the potential and will always stand by her, I know it is hard, just be there for your daughter and do what you must do to help her and don't worry about what others may think, I know, easier said then done, but you can do it, your not alone, All parents have something to deal with when it comes to their children so no one has the right to think bad about another parent,especially when it comes to something that they know absolutely nothing about. Take it one day at a time and stay as positive as possible for the sake of your daughter.
 
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jenbyr317
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October 25, 2005, 9:18 pm PDT

School Nurse

Quote From: momof4gals

Geeze.  I know some school districts around us have a traveling nurse.  However, I also know that if the need is there a child can be sent to another school, even if out of district, that has a full time nurse available.  The district would have to provide transportation.  Also, if the school cannot provide adequate supervision etc then it is the school districts responsibility to provide home education/turtoring so that the child may receive the adequate medical attention at home.

  It is a law, a federal law at that.  They can not deny a child in any way of having a nurse in your school district, Plain and simple.  Do Not let them buffalo you..   I myself have had problems with my daughters school on a different issue.  Thank goodness for open enrollment.  If you have any questions legally contact a lawyer for some guidance and know your rights.  It is medically necessary that you have one there.  That is my best advice to you.  Good luck!!  I hope everything works in your favor. 
 
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joyceymay
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October 27, 2005, 3:43 am PDT

homeschooling isn't for everyone

Quote From: homesch3

Have any of you with children who are having terrible problems at school considered, or even open to the possibility of homeschooling?  It's cost effective, children do very well,  and has been shown to be a very viable alternative to shoveling them off on a system that doesn't give a hang about them.  I speak from experience, as I have been homeschooling for 8 years.  Thought I would NEVER do it, now, I don't plan to stop.  My girls are in 7th, 3rd and 1st grades, all doing well academically, socially, emotionally and are wonderful kids.  Just a thought.
I agree with everything that you say and I have friends that are homeschooling, but even though I'm a certified teacher, I know it wouldn't work for us.  My kids like to please their teachers and will do things for them that they wouldn't do for me.  It would be a constant battle to get them to do stuff.
 
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danamikayl
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October 28, 2005, 1:06 am PDT

Hi everyone!

I recognize a couple of names on here. For those of you I don't know, my name is Sherri and I am a sahm and I homeschool my two girls, ages 11 and 4. I don't wish to get into a debate about homeschooling, but I am looking to talk to other moms who home school as well. It's nice to have support. My dd went to school until the age of 10 and I didn't like alot of things going on there. Now we love home schooling alot and it really fits our family to a T. I know it's not for everyone, but it's very much a lifestyle that I love and that's why I don't want to get into a debate about it.  

I would love to hear how other home schooling parents are doing. 

Sherri 
 
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danamikayl
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October 28, 2005, 1:14 am PDT

I can relate to this

Quote From: telsnau

   I have a 7 year old daughter who has an anxiety problem.  When she gets over excited she pukes ( gross I know ), but in our home we make no big deal over her getting sick in the event that something exciting is going  to or has happened.  In the past this happened all the time like 5-6 days a week. She has been to a counsler, and is down to hardly ever throwing up unless the situation is extremely exciting. 

  

   My problem is this. I have talked and talked with her teachers and the nurse of the schools, and it has done me no good. Like yesterday for example  the school was taking a field trip to visit the local Caverns which is really exciting and of course when my daughter got to school she threw up. The school calls me to come check on my daughter ( which is 100 % ok ) the problem is when I got there they wanted to send her home. I know for a fact that my daughter was not "sick sick" she was just really excited over this field trip. I told them her throwing up was " no big deal" and that she was alright.  The secretary and another staff of the school where standing there and of course got this " omg you horride mother" look on their face.  The woman who I don't know who she is was like  " she needs to go home shes peaked and pale" WELL DUH she did just puke.   

  

  The end result was my daughter was not allowed to go on the field trip unless I fallowed the bus down in my car. I don't drive so this was not an option.  So of course I got to be the bad guy in it all because I was the one who had to tell her she couldn't go. No one at the school would let her go including the teacher who I explained the throwing up thing too.  

  

   My question is this. What am I to do, if the school sends her home over her puking during exciting events at the school, my daughter is not going to be able to participate in any school funtion weather it be a school field trip or school parties.  I don't want my daughter to be known as " the girl who pukes" and as long as the school makes a big deal over it the more it will happen. How do I get them to understand? There is more to the whole thing but I don't want to bore with every detail. If someone has any words of advice it would greatly appreciate it greatly. 

I have been through this very thing and I took my daughter out of school at the age of 10. She had a great deal of anxiety as well and found it hard to cope with the chaos of school. since she's been home schooled, she has not been sick once and this is a child who was labeled as "The kid who missed the most days of school". She's excelling at home.  

In my humble opinion, your dd is stressed out and this is how she's expressing herself. Does she have any nails? My dd bit them down until they bled. Now she has long nails. I'm amazed at the transition in just a year. 

You asked, "How do I get them to understand?" I don't think they can understand your child like you can. 

Sherri 
 
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