Topic : School Issues

I recognize a couple of names on here. For those of you I don't know, my name is Sherri and I am a sahm and I homeschool my two girls, ages 11 and 4. I don't wish to get into a debate about homeschooling, but I am looking to talk to other moms who home school as well. It's nice to have support. My dd went to school until the age of 10 and I didn't like alot of things going on there. Now we love home schooling alot and it really fits our family to a T. I know it's not for everyone, but it's very much a lifestyle that I love and that's why I don't want to get into a debate about it.  

I would love to hear how other home schooling parents are doing. 

Sherri 

Did you know that there's a whole thread about homeschooling on this web-site?   

What are you doing now?  Are you attending a private school?  An "alternative ed" program?  Getting homeschooled?  There are also programs out there to help you get a GED.  

I understand your frustration.  I agree that there are a lot of problems with the public school system and that it's hard to fix it.  (I know because I've tried, but that's a long story.)  But if you don't find a way to finish your education, you're only hurting yourself. 

This is so true! I am an adult that works in a major school district in Houston, Texas. I left a job at the elementary level that I loved, to transfer to my daughter's middle school, because there are some teachers' that just don't care. I am a paraeducator(para) and I sometimes joke that I'm just there for the paycheck, but really I'm not. That's what separates me from some of them. I CARE! I can't help it. I have been reading the message boards on "school issues" and I can see that schools around the country need to get a clue. With the doctors diagnosing autism and other disorders better than they have in the past, gone are the days' when we  thought "little Johnny" was just a slow learner. I have been told by a fellow para that one of my daughter's teachers said this,"If they need any help at all, they shouldn't be in my class at all". This teacher teaches an upper level class in 6th grade and said something to me as a parent , that maybe in the on level classes that my kid would be able to keep up better. WRONG. There is a para in there now( as per her modifications states in the first place) and she has made everything so much better . All she needed was a little help and she wasn't the only one! 

I also think the schools should get back to teaching the basics. In Texas all they do is teach the kids how to take "THE TEST". If you live in Texas you know what I'm talking about !  Well, with all these kids' with Asperger's syndrome(a form of high functioning autism), ADD/ADHD, OCD, CAPD(central auditory processing didorder), dyslexia, TBI( traumatic brain injury), bipolar disorder, etc., and the anxiety that all these kids go through on a regular school day( and trust me, they suffer more than the average kid) these schools and some of those teachers' better start DEALING WITH IT! whew! - that was a mouthful. 

So when your kid says that a teacher is out to get them, you had better check it out. And let the  teacher and the school FEEL your presence. There are a lot of people that really shouldn't be teaching out there, and there are probably some of them at your kids' school!  

This is my first time on this sight.  I love Dr.Phil!  My son  is always getting picked on at school.  Girls like him but the boys call him Gayfield, ask him if he was molested , purposely run into him at school, ect..   

  My son has ADHD it only seems to affect his school work, and he talks alot, other than that he's pretty mellow.  I don't have him on meds., which I guess could be a good thing considering all the problems out there.  My son gets lets his agression build up, I am afraid he might explode someday I just don't know what direction in or out.  He's a cute kid and far from gay, and he's a good build.  How do we deter these iggnorant bullies?? 

 The thing is she doesn't puke all day or even everyday. Yesterday was the first time of this school year, and now that the school has made a big deal of it, she is going to stress over it even more now.  I have learned to tell her before hand what the activity is, but in cases like this one it was a totally new experience. She was up all night thinking about her upcoming field trip.  

  For her positive reinforcement doesn't always work, but I have taken the advice of her counsler and it has worked to a great extent. She used to puke almost every morning before school. Now she doesn't.  Yesterday was the first time she has puked ( with anxiety ) in over 2 monthes. Her counsler says at the moment is up in the air if she will out grow it, and if not there is things they can do once she is older, and can understand things a little better.  I just don't want her to be able to enjoy all the fun things school does have to offer, and I fear that now that she knows how they will react that she is more likely to do it more often, and possibly sent home.  

  The hardest thing you mentioned is staying calmed. Having people look at you like your a horrible mother over something they don't understand is nerve racking at times. Currently I am working on getting the documentation from her counsler on her disorder. However I don't feel the whole school has the right to know.  

My 5 year old daughter is very clingy and refuses to go to school, she cries and sticks herself to me like crazy glue.  She will not follow the lineup with the other kids and gets very upset about going to school, she continuously asks me to stay with her, and has a lot of anxiety about being seperated from me. 

I have asked her "why" she doesn't want to go, and what she is afraid of or upset about, and her only answer is that she "misses her mommy" 

She has always really liked school, and she has said she loves school and loves her new teacher, and she already has made some new best friends.  She is fine/happy once she is in the classroom, plays with the other children and participates in the activites, and she is happy when I pick her up.  But, I am having tremendous trouble getting her to seperate from me, and go to school independantly and happily.  She also does the same behavior at ballet class (and she really enjoys ballet), she refuses to line up with the other children, and the teacher has to take her hand and coax her into the room.  She loves ballet and it is only 45 minutes long, and she knows I am outside the room sitting in the parent lobby.  She still says she misses me too much to go. 

She has never been in daycare or babysat by anyone other than family, and I am begining to feel like somehow I have done her an incredible disservice by being home with her, and being a stay at home mom, because she is so unprepared to be seperated from me.  I have asked her if she would like to spend the afternoon by herself with grandma(whom she knows very well) and this seems to cause her the same anxiety about being away from me.  

She is very shy and passive and has always been clingy, even in preschool she behaved in much the same way.  She spent 2 years in Jr. Kindergarten (preschool) the first year she went 2 half days a week, and last year she went 3 half days a week. 

The first year she spent in preschool she was very excited to go (she begged us to sign her up for school), and besides the usual bumpy first week she did very well for the first half of the year, but when school resumed after christmas break, she began the extremely clingy behavior.  Her teacher told me that for some kids the "novelty" of school just wears off around that time and so they begin to have some difficulties, but to hang in there and she would get through it.  She spent the rest of the year struggling with being seperated from me. 

The second year of preschool she had a lot of anxiety and clingy behavior for the first 2-3 months, then she had a period where she did very well and went happily to school, and then the last few months of the school year the anxious behavior started again, and became much worse.  To the point where she was making herself so upset at school that she was vomitting. 

This year she goes 5 half days/week.  She has been in school for 6 weeks, which has been 24 school days.  I was hoping she would get over this by now, but she hasn't, and she seems to be getting worse again.  For a while it seemed she was starting to get better, with the help of the teacher taking her hand to help her away from me and into the school.  But there has been a few long weekends that seem to have upset the routine and her progress and thrown her right back into the axiety. 

She likes to be the first in line so we arrive early and she stands in the lineup.  When the other kids arrive she is happy, and plays and goofs around with them.  She is generally happy during this time.  When the bell rings and the teacher comes outside, she runs out of the lineup and hugs me, and won't let go of me.  She used to take the teachers hand and help lead the lineup, but now she even resists that. 

When I try talking to her about why she is so upset, she becomes very embarassed, hides her face, and says "mom I don't want to talk about this" 

I have asked her if she is afraid, if someone was mean, if she doesn't like someone, if she doesn't like school etc.  She says the only reason she doesn't want to go to shcool is because she misses me. 

I have tried explaining to her that she is only at school for a small part of the day, and the rest of the time she is with me.  I have talked to her about how it is ok to miss someone, but you don't need to be sad, and it shouldn't stop you from doing fun stuff or learnign new things.  I have told her that even when she is away from me and misses me, I am always there in her heart etc.  and that I will see her again very soon when school is over.  I have talked to her about all the fun things they do at school, and all the stuff she would miss if she didn't go. 

On the days when she does well, I reinforce her good behavior by telling her how proud I am of her, and how proud and happy she should feel of herself. 

I have been very patient with her, and tried everything I can think of; 

security item from home, family picture (we even got her a luggage tag to wear it on her belt loops), we've read the "kissing hand" story (about the racoons mom kissing his hand, so when he feels sad and misses her he can just put his hand to his face to feel her), a special friend taking her hand, helping her into the school myself, letting her just sit and watch the other kids, rewards and consequences, tough love and just letting her cry, even tried just ignoring it. 

I can't think of any major events or changes that have caused her to feel so anxious.  She is healthy, eats good foods, and gets plenty of sleep. 

Nothing seems to be helping and I am frustrated and am very close to reaching my breaking point.