Topic : School Issues

Quote From: jb7ctx

My child who is in kindergarten is very behind. I spoke with his teacher and it is our decision on if we want him held back or not. I was told that  if we went ahead and put him in first grade, and if he didnt do well in first grade, then he would be held back in first grade. He was diagnosed as developemental delayed as well as a diabetic. I was also told that if he was to be held back in first grade, then from there on out, he would never be able to be held back another grade throughtout his school years. EVEN if he dont know what he is doing  or learning throughout the other grades, he will still be passed on to the next grade. In other words, my child can only be held back for one grade only, and pushed through school in his other grades whether he learns anything or not. Does this make sense? Anyway, we are not going to hold him back in kindergarten this year. We decided that we are going to put him in the Sylvan Learning Center, which is like a tutoring school, to help him after school, so he can catch up with the rest of his class. I cannot believe that a child can only fail one grade at school and then have to be pushed through the rest of the school years whether he learns anything or not. Oh well, thats the law now. Wish us luck!

Quote From: ddccthom

I have a problem that has gone on for two years now, and I'm just not sure where to turn anymore.  I have a ten year old son that is very smart (according to his end of grade tests) but seems to be less than motivated to work on anything.  He's just recently started fifth grade, and has had three tests so far, and got two F's...one was a 0 (yes, that's a zero!).  He was diagnosed ADD/ADHD about a year and a half ago, and while medication does seem to help his overall demeanor, I'm not seeing any help with problems such as this.  

   

Basically, what we see on a day to day basis is a child that refuses to follow through on things that aren't "fun" to him.  He fights with me everyday about his homework, doesn't follow through on any chores without us riding his back, and has generally got a bad attitude.  We have tried doctor's, therapists, different positive reinforcement techniques, etc. but feel like we are still at the bottom of the mountain.  Nothing seems to work for more that a couple days.  He tells us that he cares about his schoolwork and grades, but then doesn't seem to do anything to change it.  I've been told to back off, let him fail, don't nag, and I've tried my best to follow these pieces of advice, but look at where we are...after almost two years, he's failing his tests and just doesn't seem to care.  Any advice for a mom that just isn't sure what else to do?????  

   

Please help!  

Worn out/frustrated mom in NC  

Quote From: jb7ctx

Thank you for the post you wrote out. I never heard of  an ARD before. My child had a late b-day too, his is in December. He is already 6. Next school year he will be 7, so if he were held back he would be 7 in Kindergarten. He is also tall for his age because we are tall too. We are going to let him go to first grade next year. He is going to attend Sylvan Learning Center next week. Boy it sure is costly, but he is worth it. I want my child to succeed in life, and in order to do that, he needs a good education. I asked his teacher about tutoring after school for him and she said he couldnt be tutored due to his diabeties and there was no nurse on campus after school. She also said that they do not tutor kids in kindergarten. My son has a 504 plan and an IEP already due to his diabeties, and they know he is developmental delayed, but they never mentioned this A.R.D. to me. Why wont they put him in special ed classes now, since they know he is very behind? Is this something I need to request? His teacher said that he has trouble with sounds, blending, and comprehension. He is supposed to have a speech teacher at school but she moved away the first 3 weeks of school and he no longer has one. This was mentioned in the IEP that he needed speech. Does that mean he is special ed? I dont know, I am wondering. Thanks for giving the information you did.

Quote From: cbax31

Dear NC Mom 

  

I know exactly what you are going through as I am in the same boat.  I've tried all the counselors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists....got the same advice and diagnoses, that my son had ADHD and needed medication.  This all started in kindergarten and my son is now in 6th grade and getting ready to turn 13.  I feel like we are just now starting to get somewhere.  I hope you read the response from "Able to Relate in NC."  What an excellent testimony and advice.  There was also another response (not sure if it was to your message or not) about a child misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD who actually has a visual perception problem.  This needs to be diagnosed by an optometrist that does a sensorimotor examination).  Definitely look into that for your child also as we have found that to be one of our issues.   

  

The biggest thing is to stop trying to find the "problem."  There isn't one.  Motiviation is a funny thing and seems to always been an issue more common with boys.  My best advice is exactly what "I can relate" said.  Be a part of your child's life whenever possible and make him feel like you are interested in every single aspect of his life...even if you aren't.  This is where America is falling apart.  Too many parents are too tired after working full-time jobs and just don't want to deal with their kids.  It takes time and effort.  Who ever said it was easy being a parent.  It's not.  It takes a lot of hard work.  Just like everything else in life.  If these are things you are already doing, just stick with it.  Someday you will see the rewards of your hard efforts and your child will thank you for it.  Tough love is one of the hardest things I've ever had to give.  Be hard on them and demand nothing but the highest of your expectations and remind them that they can do it only if they try.  Reward him for every hurdle and bridge crossed and give the tough love when your expectations are not met.  Do not allow him or anyone else to use ADD/ADHD as an excuse or crutch to allow him to get by with minimal effort put forth.   

  

I hope you have found this response inspiring.  Do not give up hope.  Hard work always pays off in the long run!  

Take care! 

Quote From: bmcbbreed

Hello,  

I have a question, My son is 6 and in the first grade. He is a very smart little boy, does fine in his school work. Brings home good grades. His teacher tells me, he is one of the nice, hard working little boys she seen. He is not hurtful to others, and love to lean and work on school things. But then it comes to free time, sitting still, hands to him self, or trying to be center of attention. It all falls apart. They have a program, a dime a day, or cash out. You can cash out up to 3 times. You guessed it he cashes out 2 to 3 times a day. For things like making noise when they are to be quit, jumping up and down in line, and a lot of other things like this. Not hurtful to other, just distracting to others. 

We have cleaned out his room, then let him work to get it back, had him write many times over what he did wrong, Taken him out of football games and other things, grounded over a day or weekend, so many things. It does not seem to get better. It just stays the same. He tells me, he just can not stop, or does not know why. He will do something get in touble, then 5mins later do it again.I do not want to medicate my son, I believe that is what it is leading to. What is left....... 

Hope someone can help,,,,,, 

Quote From: gerose

My daughter is also 6 and in the first grade. Her teacher tells me that she is one of the smarter kids in the class but has a behavior problem. I am told that, throughout the day, she finishes her work first and she has to wait for the other kids to finish. Then when it comes to the free time period she talks, makes noises, etc. I asked the teacher I could send in worksheets for her so she wouldn't have to idle as much throughout the day. I was told that I couldn't because if she let my daughter do it, then everybody would want to do it and it would be hard to get the kids ready for the next subject. There are some issues with her talking after she finishes the classroom work but it is worse during free time. 

I asked my daughter why she has to 'act up' during free time and she said that she gets so bored and she is just tired of sitting and staring all of the time. She receives all A's or A+'s. Her teacher keeps telling me that I need to work with her on behavior.  We have tried time outs, early bed times, taking away her toys and grounding her.  

  

Personally, I would not medicate my daughter. I strongly feel that she will outgrow this behavior once she is challenged with her schoolwork. If not, I may take her out of school and enroll her into a homeschool/cyber school program. 

  

Good luck with your situation! Breathe and remember, it will become less frustrating. 

Quote From: bmcbbreed

Hello,  

I have a question, My son is 6 and in the first grade. He is a very smart little boy, does fine in his school work. Brings home good grades. His teacher tells me, he is one of the nice, hard working little boys she seen. He is not hurtful to others, and love to lean and work on school things. But then it comes to free time, sitting still, hands to him self, or trying to be center of attention. It all falls apart. They have a program, a dime a day, or cash out. You can cash out up to 3 times. You guessed it he cashes out 2 to 3 times a day. For things like making noise when they are to be quit, jumping up and down in line, and a lot of other things like this. Not hurtful to other, just distracting to others. 

We have cleaned out his room, then let him work to get it back, had him write many times over what he did wrong, Taken him out of football games and other things, grounded over a day or weekend, so many things. It does not seem to get better. It just stays the same. He tells me, he just can not stop, or does not know why. He will do something get in touble, then 5mins later do it again.I do not want to medicate my son, I believe that is what it is leading to. What is left....... 

Hope someone can help,,,,,, 

Quote From: gerose

My daughter is also 6 and in the first grade. Her teacher tells me that she is one of the smarter kids in the class but has a behavior problem. I am told that, throughout the day, she finishes her work first and she has to wait for the other kids to finish. Then when it comes to the free time period she talks, makes noises, etc. I asked the teacher I could send in worksheets for her so she wouldn't have to idle as much throughout the day. I was told that I couldn't because if she let my daughter do it, then everybody would want to do it and it would be hard to get the kids ready for the next subject. There are some issues with her talking after she finishes the classroom work but it is worse during free time. 

I asked my daughter why she has to 'act up' during free time and she said that she gets so bored and she is just tired of sitting and staring all of the time. She receives all A's or A+'s. Her teacher keeps telling me that I need to work with her on behavior.  We have tried time outs, early bed times, taking away her toys and grounding her.  

  

Personally, I would not medicate my daughter. I strongly feel that she will outgrow this behavior once she is challenged with her schoolwork. If not, I may take her out of school and enroll her into a homeschool/cyber school program. 

  

Good luck with your situation! Breathe and remember, it will become less frustrating.