Topic : School Issues

I sounds like it is time for an evaluation by a doctor for Ariana.  There are a lot of things that could be causing her behaviors, and a doctor will be able to recommend the right testing for her.  Please read my previous post, as there are some suggestions on what testing is available.  Thorough testing is the only way to find out what the problem is, so it can be treated correctly.  It could be anything from stress to ADHD to learning disabilities to vision problems...the only way to sort it out is by talking to the doctor and getting the testing that is needed.

Good Luck...Becky

I noticed that your message was posted last August.  I am just now getting into the message boards and you may have resolved this issue already.  A couple of things that I think can help in any situation where a child is acting out of character would be to have a frank conversation with the child.  You would be amazed at their insightfulness when it comes to their problems.  Also, don't read too much into what they say.  If their biggest problem is that they have to sit next to "that boy" or that they are bored, it could be that simple.  After you and she have discussed the issues, meet as a group with the teacher and address the issues out in the open.  Be sure to provide the teacher a list of concerns prior to the meeting so that the teacher doesn't feel ambushed and respond defensively.  Remember that her teacher is there to help her have the best possible experience.  Make certain that you are open and honest about how things are going to be handled.  If the issue is truly boredom (and not a lack of understanding of the assignment) work with the teacher to come up with ways to keep your granddaughter from getting bored.  If the issue is that your granddaughter has consistently gotten away with manipulating herself out of things she doesn't want to do, make sure she understands that this is unacceptable.  Hold her accountable for her part in her school experience.  If she is really having a personality conflict that cannot be resolved (five is a bit young to tell her to "suck it up"), have her changed to a different class.  Good luck!

I have a 9 year old daughter  although she isn't violent or anything like that...he is a social butterfly. When she has one of her "I don't feel like doing my work today" days, they tell me dope her up. I have been told that she has ADD that is whithout hte hyperactivity. She doesn't bounce off the walls or anything. They labeled her a problem child because she is "disruptive" she wants to chit chat and not do her work. Well I trieed the meds, only change I was she seemed dopy all the time and wanted sleep alot. She still talked and socialized so that didn't change. Well after deep heated discussion with her pediatrician, I have decided to take her off all meds. Well now, I am neglected my child's education and they have contacted the authorities. Am I being unreasonable here? I don't want my kids to go through life drugged. We discourage our kids from taking drugs and yet we are suppose to support the "pop a pill that will fix it" philosophy?

I have 4 children in all and all of them have been diagnosed. Funny thing is, there is not a single parent that I have met that their child doesn't have ADD too? Is this a universal disease and we just take a pill to fix it!!??  

How did your children get "diagnosed" with ADD? Was it a schoolteacher's say-so, or were your children actually evaluated by mental health professionals before the MD wrote the script? If the former, I would get them actually evaluated ASAP! If they really need the meds, that will come out. Also, a competent MH professional will offer you tools for behavior modification that would help the situation. Unfortunately, it can take a while before the right meds/combination can be found. Sometimes, ADD isn't even the problem at all. The symptoms of sleep disorders, e.g., can often mimic those of ADD.

Nevertheless, evaluation by a competent mental health professional is first and foremost.

-bact

Our third grade son is reading at 8.8 grade level and is way ahead in math. His teacher recongizes that he is gifted.  We, too, are in a small school district.  There is no program for gifted kids.  Our son's teacher has been wonderful about letting our son work at his level.  We would never consider skipping a grade for him.  There are things that he will only experience once as a third grader, and there are things to learn, even though he learns much faster than most of the other kids.  Our son's teacher has him "tutor" some of the other kids who need help.  Our son his kind and helpful, and he loves his tutoring job.  The other kids look up to him for being helpful. 

On another issue, the state's standardized tests have taken over the school's entire K-12 curriculum!!  They spend so much time teaching the kids how to take the test that there isn't enough time to teach them how to live their lives!!  Any other thoughts on this?  We live in Washington State, and the WASL is the bain of my existence, and my kids' too.  Passing the WASL in 10th grade is a requirement to get a high school diploma...less than half the kids who take it are passing, so more than half the kids can only hope for a GED!!!

As far as disclipline goes...taking away Cub Scouts isn't the answer...my son is a Cub Scout, and we are teaching him that he needs to stick to it and follow through...quitting is not an option when he is having so much fun.  Outside activities give a kid a chance to express themselves and learn in their own style...Cub Scout leaders can tailor the lessons to the kids and be flexible on how the requirements are achieved.

Perhaps the other mom (sorry I couldn't find the original post) should consider rewards for good behavior.  And perhaps some visits to the classroom to observe. I volunteer in my son's class once a week as a way to help the teacher and as a way to keep in touch with what's going on in the classroom.  Teachers will be much more accomodating to a parent who shows dedication to the school and the classroom.

I believe it is the law that kids with very high IQ scores have an IEP or 504 plan...individual education plan...if you can get the teachers to adhere to it.

My son was dropped on my lap by his father almost a year ago...because he has shut down completely and had stopped school, he was sixteen, in December he turned seventeen and is now on his way to eighteen.  He is two years behind in school due to his "problems".  I am now at a loss on what to do to help him, when he does not seem to want any help.  I am worried that as he is soon to enter the adult world that he would be unable to get over this hump and become a positive member of society by not having his education but even more afraid of him staying in this mood forever.  His father and I had an ugly custody fight over the kids that lasted too long almost four years, the father took the kids and I foughtit in court a long time to no avail.  His home life since age six was shattered, of all three kids he was the one more attached to me and the separation hurt him immensely.  His step mom abused him emotionally and verbally to the point where he just shut down.  I had little to no contact with the kids for a long time.

Once here with me I tried to put him in a special program designed for school drop outs, it was a half a day program with two teachers a counsellor who they see regularly,  It started well then it mettered down, to today when he informed me he is done with the program, he will not go again.  I am trying to have intervention with other mental health professionals in my area and to get him additional help wich is hard because he will not talk or open up nor receive any outstreched hand.  I believe he is depressed and could be helped with medication and therapy but to try to convince him he needs the help is another matter.  He wants to do the work at home he says, but we tried that last semester with him not picking up a book once.  I know that system will not work. He has two siblings going into higher education this year, and a history of squizophrinia in the family on both sides, his older sister was diagnosed and a cousin plus I think my father on my side had it.  On his Father's side his uncle and aunt were  also diagnosed, I could be looking at more than just depression wich is hard to tell because he won't open up.   Anyone gone thru this same experience???  What did you do??

Your son is close to being an adult.  When he reaches adulthood, he will have to make his own decisions on whether to get professional help for his mood instability.  I have no experience with schitzophrenia, but I know that it can be serious and dangerous for your son and for those around him.  It is important to get a diagnosis and meds before he has a major episode. 

Unfortunately, you cannot force him into a psychiatirc facility unless he is a danger to himself or others.

Personally, I have bipolar disorder, which was not diagnosed until I was 35 years old.  I went all that time being miserable, with terrible mood fluctuations..

 All you can do is encourage him in the right direction.  Encourage him to at least get a GED.  Perhaps technical school would interest him...some type of vocational degree...there are lots of carreer opportunities open to him.

As far as medications go...I know how much they help...I have bipolar disorder...I wouldn't be here today if not for a good set of medications...it is so important for stability.  Do what you can to convince your son to seek help...I'm not sure what the laws are concerning teens and getting help...I know that there are confidentiality laws that prevent you from being involved with his doctor unless he gives his consent in writing.  I think that even without his consent, you could give your side of the story to the doctor...if you can get him to go.

Do what you can for your son, while he is still young...it is so important for his future.