Topic : School Issues

Our boys go back to school on Sept 4th.  We are looking forward to our 14 year old actually getting his work done this year.  The doctor thinks that he may have bipolar disorder, based on behavior problems...still having official diagnosis of ADHD, since the two disorders have such similar symptoms.  He just started on Lamictal...we hope that this is a successful med for him.  I take it for my bipolar disorder, and it works very well.  I will be keeping in close email contact with his teachers, to keep myself informed of what assignments there are, and whether he is doing his work.

 

Our 9 year old starts at the intermediate school in 4th grade.  We will find out tomorrow who his teacher is.

 

Wow, advanced classes, that's great!!

 

Becky

 

I'm as surprised (pleasantly so!!) as anybody. I'm not sure on what they base the placements; I'll have to ask around. At one of the open houses, they mentioned that FCAT scores influenced placement to a large degree. So my question would be, which FCAT scores, the Sunshine State Standards (SSS) part (which was what I thought) or the norm-referenced segment, is used to assist in placement? Her scores were good-to-excellent all the way around; however, on the SSS, her reading score (high "Level 3") was not nearly as good as her math (high "level 4"), whereas on the norm-referenced portion, she scored in the 89th percentile in reading & the 76th in math! Go figure!

 

Are you happy w/the teacher your youngest son is getting? When does culinary school start for the oldest?

First, hearing that a professional “doesn’t think” your child is ADD or ADHD isn’t enough. You need to know with 100% certainty that he does or doesn’t- not that the professional “doesn’t think so…” Did your son have the extensive tests done to prove/disprove the diagnosis? If not, I highly urge you to call the Dr. again and request the testing. It is a long process that is usually broken down into two-hour sessions; although I’m not sure how it would work with a child as young as yours. (My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until she was 13.) If he does have a medical issue, it is so important to know ASAP so that you can give him the proper guidance and support. If it isn’t a medical diagnosis, there are many things that your family can do to help your son learn to have more self control. If it isn’t a medical diagnosis, then I urge you to seek professional family therapy to learn the best coping skills to use with your son, so that he can learn that self control that he will need for the rest of his life. I wish you the best!

The kids are back in school, and we are packing our oldest son up to move away to his apartment for culinary school...he will be getting a roommate...we think he has found one...we will be meeting him when we move our son down there...300 miles away...my husband is a very good judge of character...this person is Christian, non-smoker, non-drinker...9 years older than our son...maybe that is a good thing...somebody responsible...I hope!!

 

I will be contacting our middle son's teachers via email to remind them to adhere to the 504 plan...specifically the part where our son has to call me if an assignment is not turned in, or if he is goofing off in class.  He has recently gotten onto Provigil for Narcolepsy, and Lamictal for ADHD/possible bipolar...he is still tapering up on the Lamictal dose, but his temper already seems improved.  Both Provigil and Lamictal are being tested for ADHD, and they don't have the bad side effects that Ritalin or Adderall do.

 

Our youngest son is settling down in his new class...very studious about getting everyting done.

 

Well...gotta keep our oldest son on task with his packing, and do the laundry...I'll probably be mostly off of the board for this week because of the packing...Becky

Happy packing! Sounds like Oldest will be all set very soon.

 

Hopefully, the teachers actually ADHERE to the 504 plan!! Speaking of meds, now that Middle Son is on a narcolepsy med, is he still on Requip for the Restless Legs Syndrome, or am I confusing that with someone else? A mild Woo-hoo for the already noticeable improvement with the Lamictal. Glad to hear that Youngest Son and intermediate school are getting along so far. Did he get the teacher you had hoped for?

 

Anne is adjusting to having classes scattereed all over campus. She's less forgetful now about her materials, but still has a tough time knuckling down to weekend HW. In all, though, oddly enough, I think she's got LESS HW now than she did in 5th grade, even with the advanced reading & language arts classes. We'll see how things go when she takes tests.

Yes, the middle son is still on Requip for the restless legs...two sleep disorders at once.  The youngest one also has restless leg syndrome, and he is also on Requip.

 

The youngest son did not get the teacher that we requested, but the one he did get is very good...she said that I could volunteer in her class...I usually do one afternoon per week, so that is what I will set up with her.

 

HW last night for both of the younger boys was for MOM to fill out the necessary papers and read the school handbooks.  The middle son also had to get a Google map from home to school...wow, a whole three miles!!

 

Well...back to the packing...Becky

My son is going to be 11 in a two days and in the 6th grade.  He absolutely hates school.  He's pretty much hated it and had problems since 1st grade.  His second grade teacher was fed up with him and thought a charter school would be better.  I fought hard for her not to give up and strongly wanted him to stay in public.  He was diagnosed with, yes, add that year as well.  He is taked medication for this.  He does not do his homework, has 4 F's right now for not doing his homework, or he will do it and not turn it in, (this I don't understand).  We fight everday from the minute he gets home until he is in bed.  It's a constant struggle to get him to do it.  He has a lot of outburst and gets really angry.  I know he gets overwhelmed with it all, but he is only getting older and needs to find a way to deal with it. I am constantly next to him when he's doing his homework. I do have two other children a husband, that I have put on the back burner because I am devoting my nights to him.  I am in contact with his teachers, letting them know what's going on.  I am in the parent club volunteering with any activities.  I try and make myself as available as possible and get involved as much as possible.  I have contact the school on what to do and they suggested to start with tutoring.  The only thing he cares about is sports.  I have used that as advantage, no homework turned in no practice which will lead to no playing in the game.  He doesn't seem to grasp it.  He gets really angry and lashes out.  I hate mom, it sucks here, (the typical tantrums) he breaks things in his room, and just really vents.  I have made an apt. with a psychologist for next week for him to talk to.  He also has other issues he deals with, his dad and I are not together and have differant house hold rules.  That won't change so I dont' even bother with that part.  I am emotionally drained from fighting with him.  It seems to be getting worse and I have no more energy left to argue about school and school work.  He hangs with a good group of boys that all do pretty well in school.  I just can't get him to succed in his acadmic part of life. I can't be here to hold his hand all the time and I feel that's all I am doing.  He doesn't even do chores any more because he's so consumed with fighting on school work.  Two weeks ago he took off because he hated it here becuase I always make him do school work and chores.  I had to call the police to get him in my car to come home.  He would not listen to me.  He walked over a mile until the police caught up to him.  Once he got back home we talked and then he did his work at 9:00 at night.  I feel my life is sooooo consumed from when I wake up till I go to bed with him, argueing with him and school.  I just am done and don't know what else to do. I  need to learn how to deal with it because I don't want him to fall behind even more and I have two other children needing my attention.  I am up for ANY suggestions or help that would make this whole house any easier place to live for everyone. 

First, who gave you the ADD diagnosis, your pediatrician or a psychologist? If the former, I would strongly recommend a battery of psychological testing to determine whether you are dealing w/ADD (IMO, it may not be, or it may be mild ADD coupled with loads of anxiety and/or depression). The anger, the opposition, part of that is the approach of puberty, much of it suggests other issues.

 

Sad to say, the difference in house rules between you & your son's father may be causing much of the problem. Do you & your ex- get along well, or do you believe the ex- is telling your son stuff behind your back? I know from my own experience that my daugher (the same age/grade as your son) seems to act up more when her dad is having "issues" with me, or vice versa. We went though a HORRIBLE patch 3 years ago when I was pregnant w/her brother & her dad (& then stepmother) decided to make LOTS of trouble. Her anger got taken out on me in fights over schoolwork.

 

Your son is yelling (literally) for help.  Please do not delay in getting appropriate help, but know with what you are dealing.

I agree with Maryann...take him to a psychiatrist, and have the battery of psych testing done on him.

 

Becky

Thanks for your suggestions and concern.  His pediatrician finally dignosed him as ADD and it's only slight.  He just has a hard time sitting still and focusing thru school. I do think it is a combo of all the other you suggested and the verge of puberty.  His dad and I get along for the face of it.  I have tried and tried and I get the response I want to hear, but as soon as he's in his dad's house it's all voided out.   It's your typical B. S. to basically get me out of his ear, and to make me think he's doing all he can.  So I really have given up on trying to work with him. I do keep him really informed of these issues, but how he handles it is up to him.  I just have to focus when I do have him, which is 80% of the time.   I won't delay and have set up a psychologist apt., for this Friday.  I just want ideas on how to handle it as I am lost.  I do feel like I have tried everything, but if there is something I missed I would be happy to hear about it.  As all moms I want only what's best for him and to succeed in life, and life should not be this hard for an 11 year old (in two days).  Thanks again, I do appreciate you responding.