Topic : Sleep Issues

We tried redoing her room, buying her a big girl bed, reading bed time stories, we tried sleeping with her, we tried leaving after she fell asleep, we tried it all.  But there is one thing that is working for us.  We made a reward chart, being rewarded for good behavior is my daughters currency.  The reward chart is a progressive 4 week plan.  For each day she sleeps in her own bed she gets a sticker on her chart and when she gets 7 stickers she gets a prize.  The first week its a very small prize ($5), but it can be anything she wants as long as its under $5.  Then the second week its ($10) and so on.  We are on our third week and she has done beautifully, no crying, no resistance, she wants her bed time story then says good night - love you.  Like I say we've tried everything but this is working.  I hope this helps.

Daughter (11) has been sleeping with Mom (44) since Dad moved out almost 2 years ago.  Mom doesn't see anything wrong with it, and daughter thinks it's fun.  Daughter has no issues sleeping in her own room (no trauma, fear, tantrums, etc.  sleeps in own bed at Dad's house - this is mother's issue). 

Is this screwed up?  It seems creepy to me, and Mom says "show me where/who says this isn't OK".  Can anyone provide sources of professional opinions?  Thanks in advance for any info. 

i don't know about professional opinions, but if both mom and daughter don't have a problem with co-sleeping, why should it be done differently? just because it seems creepy to someone who isn't used to it? i never did co-sleeping, but i feel that everyone should decide what works best for them, and should not be influenced by what people think is 'normal' (unless it's something abusive of course)

 My 8 year old won't sleep in his bed.  if he tries he is up in the middle of the night and goes into his grandmother room to sleep with her.  grandmother is not well and does not know he climbs in bed with her.  My son states it his way to take of his grandmother and when she goes to heaven he wants to remain close to her. 

I need helo any advice please email me.

 

thank you

HELP! I am a mother of 3. All of my children have diferent personalities. My 7 year old son occupies much of my time due to his fears of bugs, dark, sleeping upstairs, his own room ect. i am finding my 5 year old daughter doing her own bath and putting herself to bed and much of the time falling asleep waiting for me. its so unfair. my 12 yr old daughter too. I am recently divorced and have moved residences, however this is not a new problem at all. I wonder if I am encouraging this because I feel like he has more fears and emotional needs than they do or if theres a way to handle this while meeting the needs of all 3 children and not losing my mind. I feel desperate and guilty right now for the things i said tonight. i lost it and told him he was killing me and that I was going to talk to his dad and see if hed feel safer living with him. i could never live with out my son. I adore him, and how hurtful of me to put a weight on his shoulders as if he has any control over how long I live. Please help me I am desperate.          

 

 

                                                                                           Normally, the best mom I know

 

                                                                                           Tonight, completely lost patience and sanity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you probably allready have a small light in his room, if not, put it in there. i don't know if you have a music box for him, or a cd with calm music, but that sometimes helps kids too. my advice for a bed ritual is, first put your five year old in bath, and get her to bed with a story, or something you like to do with her, maybe talk with her about her day. while your doing that, you seven year old can play a bit downstairs, or whatever he wants, but he has to do something on his own, you have to make sure that it is time for your five year old ONLY, then put the seven year old in bath, put him to bed, read him a story too, or talk to him, and turn the cd or the music box on. explain to him, that you have to go do something in the house, and that you will be back in five minutes, and that he has to stay in bed. leave his night light on, and leave the cd on, but close the door. if he comes out, just say it is bed time, put him in bed, don't go into any discussions with him, and tell him that you will be back in whatever time there was left. if he does stay in bed, check on him, see how he is, and give him a kiss, or a hug, but don't talk to him, or do anything to make him active. if he is still awake, you can say i'll be back in five minutes. if this goes well, you can make it ten minutes the next week, and longer every time, untill he goes to bed normally. while your seven year old is in bed, you can of course spend time with your twelve year old, i think they will all appreciate their alone time with there mom in the evening. for his other fears just confront him with it. go catching bugs with him, and study them under a magnifying glass. and let him draw pictures of them. also get books for him about them, where they come from, what they eat, what there use is. maybe it's better to start with the books. but if you make it an object of study, instead of something creepy, he might be less afraid of them.

good luck with everything.

annemiek

First, forgive yourself for saying those hurtful words to your son; they came from desperation and exhaustion. It is important that you talk with your son about what you said, and that you apologize. Those hurtful words have enough power to affect his whole life, apologizing to him and talking about it ASAP is so important.
 It is also important that you find a way to give your other children the time and attention that they need and deserve, too.
My youngest child has also had irrational fears and phobias (as well as sleepwalking and very scary dreams.) ever since I can remember, and having to deal with those issues has taken away from my other children, also. The best thing I did was to seek help from a homeopathic Dr., and I suggest that you give it a try, also. The homeopathic Dr. was able to diagnose and treat her without drugs, the treatment is all-natural, and it has helped a lot. It hasn’t totally taken away the phobias, etc., but it has helped so much! The other thing that helped a lot was taking my daughter to hypnotherapy. This was something I put off for a long time because of the cost- but when we had the extra money and were able to do it, I have never regretted it. (It was $100.) During the hypnotherapy, the professional made a CD for my child to listen to at night while she is falling to sleep. (I wonder if someone makes a generalized relaxation-type of CD for kids? You should google it and find out; it is worth the money!)
You said that you wonder if you are encouraging your child’s behavior- it is possible that by providing him with extra attention, etc., that you are encouraging it- but it is understandable that you do this because you aren’t sure what else to do. You are only human- you don’t have all of the answers.
My other advice to you is sit down with your children and tell them that from this day on, you are spending “X” amount of time with each them at bedtime, to be fair, and if they need extra time, you are willing to give it but they will have to wait until you are done with their siblings. Meaning your son will have to wait for you to come back after you read to your 5 year old and tuck her in. Other things that have helped us deal with my child’s irrational fears/phobias are talking out all of the “what ifs” with her. Example, she‘ll say, “what if we have a thunder storm tonight while I’m asleep?” I will say, ‘well, what if we do? How do you feel about it?” she will say something like, “I’m worried and scared that thunder will wake me up.” Me: “if we have thunder tonight, and you wake up, you can come to my bed and wake me any time.” And so on.
I wish you the best! One last piece of advice to you is this: the sooner you seek professional guidance, the better off you will all be. I wish you the best.

Sounds like you should bring your son to a therapist, it might help.

I am a mother of a six year old little girl. she has been through alot in the past year, I have gotten remarried, I am expecting and her father is in Iraq. Here lately she is refusing to sleep in her own bed. I dont know what to do. I tried talking to her to find out what the problem is. She just cries and refuses to sleep in her own bed. My husband is wonderful with her and usually he can get her to talk to him but he is even is stumped. I also recently went back to work after having HG with my pregnancy. Does anyone have any advice for me? I just want to help my little girl cope with whatever is bothering her. Thanks

i also have three children same ages my seven year old son though is scared of the dark does not have a fear of bugs but he does expect a lot more attention and is very exhausting and draining do forgive your self though i am doing it with a partner and i that is hard enough but to do it on your own but to do it on your own must be terribly hard what i do when my partner is working late and have to get all the kids ready and of to bed myself ia get my olders to help with my middle child most time it works but you need to a friend who might be able to by giving you some time to yourself it does help