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Topic : Sleep Issues

Number of Replies: 119
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 01:21:39 pm
Author : dataimport
Is your child afraid of monsters under the bed? Do you have a hard time getting them to stay in their bed at night or setting a regular bedtime? Do you have a bedwetter? Share advice and support with other parents of children with sleep issues.

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April 9, 2006, 9:35 am CDT

Sleep Issues

Quote From: logro76

I have a 6 year old daughter and 3 year old son, both of which sleep in my bed.  Not because I want them to, and not because I am ok with it, but I feel like I've just tried everything and NOTHING works.  I am to the point that I am so tired, I just dont fight it, so that I too can get some sleep.  Through the years we've had things under control several times, but something always changes and we're right back where we started.  My kids are both stubborn and strong willed.  For some reason, they have become the bosses of the house because I am so tired of struggling with them.  I know that I need to get control back, but I don't know how.  It's not only bed time, either.  I can ask them to do something and they always have 4 or 5 things they're going to do first.  I'm becoming very depressed feeling like my kids are out of control!  Deep down I know they could be a lot worse, but things are still very bad.  HELP!

They are sleeping in bed with you because you are letting them. They know that if they argue and put up a fuss, THEY will win!! They know you will back down. You HAVE to stand your round, as hard as it is, and let them know YOU, not them, YOU are the boss of the house. After awhile, they will know that you mean business. If you let them take control, then they won't listen. Take control back where it belongs, to the parents. 

 
April 9, 2006, 9:42 am CDT

Sleep Issues

Quote From: j2allen

I've made a mess of my kids and now i don't know how to fix it.  We let our daughter share our bed, when she woke in the night, for her first 6 years.  When I became pregnant we tried to make her stay in her bed.  She did ok because she could see that I was getting bigger and there really wasn't much room for her.  After my son was born, he stayed in our room (not our bed) because he had breathing issues.  Our daughter started coming back to our bed.  When our son was a year old (daughter 7), we bought a house and made them each a wonderful room to sleep in.  At first, everything was new, so they slept with us.  One excuse after another... they are still sleeping with us.  My daughter is 9 now, and my son is 3.  We have tried everything we've heard or read to get them in their own beds.  Everyone is so helpful with the advice, but nothing is working.  Here's what I'm looking at from just this week:  My daughter is very active during the day, she likes to run and play outdoors, she rides horses and does exercises at the YMCA, so I feel she has enough daily activity to burn that energy down for bedtime.  She does her homework , eats well, feeds her animals, and plays games or watches tv all before 7:30.  At 7:30 she showers and gets ready for bed.  By 8pm she's in bed with a book and usually reads herself to sleep by 9pm... sounds great, right?  Well, come midnight, 2am, 3am, 5am... she is up, standing by my bed telling me she had a bad dream, or she heard a noise or she's scared....  I'm soooo tired at those times, i know i nod off on her and wake suddenly and find her still standing there.  I've sent her back to her room, but she comes back... I tell her to put her tv on, she comes back, i let her turn lights on, or read... she comes back... I sit with her, but she is panicked when she hears a creak or the wind. She just wants to be in my room, doesn't matter where, in bed, at the foot of my bed, on my floor...doesn't matter... I give in after doing this all night because i know she needs sleep for school and i need some rest.  She's really hard to wake in the morning, but she seems fine during the day.  I don't know what else to do with her.  My husband tries to be really strict and tries punishment, she doesn't care, she'll take it to sleep in our room.  I want to just make a place on the floor for her and tell her to not wake me up anymore, just lay down there and sleep.  But i can hardly stand the thought of my precious girl sleeping on the floor like a dog when she has a beautiful bed to sleep in.  And my husband completely disagrees with that idea (letting her lay on the floor), he feels that she is getting her way and says we should be stern with her and not let her stay, however, he doesn't wake up all night long when she comes in the room, so it's all on me.   

Now my son is different, he's 3 and can't fall asleep with out me, I've tried to be strict with him and let him scream and cry himself to sleep, but he keeps my daughter awake, so it seems to be a vicious circle.  When he does fall asleep in his room, he also wakes, but he sneaks in my bed without me realizing it, most of the time.  When my daughter wakes me up and i see him in my bed, i take him back to his room (he usually stays asleep), but just the habit, I guess, that he wakes and comes to my room.  So, should I make a place for both of them?  Then we can all get a good nights sleep?  Sounds like the easy way, so I'm very leery of it, plus the fact that my husband doesn't agree with it....   I'm at a loss.... and trying to find stuff on the Internet about 9 year olds still waking up is useless, I feel like i have the only one!!!!  Please help. 

When did kids start ruling thr roust? No, you should not make room for them in your bed. What are they going to do when they go away to college? Are you going to go with them and sleep in bed with them? It is soo hard to hear your child/children cry out for you, but my belief is that if you give in once, they will know you will always give in. They will know which button to press so they can get their way. For your sake and your whoole families sake, make them stay in bed. With my daughter, who is almost 4, if she comes into my room at night I tell her to go back to her room and get in bed. She will and if she returns, then, I get firmer. Kids need to know boudaries.
 
April 22, 2006, 11:06 am CDT

Getting my 3-year-old to fall asleep peacefully

I am a mother of two beautiful children, aged 8 and 3.  We have sleeping issues with both.  My son is the 3-year-old, and his current issue is bedtime.  At bedtime, we have a consistent routine of rocking him and singing two songs.  Then we give him fresh water, place him in bed, snuggle him up and give hugs and kisses.  As we leave, we close the gate on his door (his door is beside the stairway, so the gate is to prevent a bad fall during the night when he may be groggy).  We remind him that he is not to talk anymore, and we go downstairs.  He always starts to talk to us, and we always have to give him one more reminder.  The past couple months have been consistently stressful in that the warning is ignored and he continues to use excuse after excuse to get us back there...needs to go potty, wants another hug and kiss, has a secret, etc.  Sometimes he just keeps yelling that he loves us and good night.  Trust me when I say we have been nothing but consistent in this method because we went through the identical thing with our daughter when she was 3.  After the warning, we close his door in increments with each time becoming a bit longer until we are at one minute.  We never exceed one minute.  When the door is opened, we calmly remind him that he is not to talk if he wants his door to stay open.  When this method was introduced to him over a year ago, it was effective, as it was with our daughter 5 years ago.   We received this method from a nurse at the sleep clinic at  a local hospital after 4 hours of interviewing us.  I was trying to prevent going through the same thing with our second, and since the issue was identical we tried the same thing for him.  It is now completely ineffective and is leaving  me in tears, my son saddened (the other night, pretty late, I walked by his room to find him still awake.  When I asked him if he was having trouble sleeping, he looked at me with this sad, lost expression and said, "I had a bad morning."  (meaning the events of the evening with the door closing)).  I only caught the tail end of the Dr. Phil show the other day when Baby Wars was on.  I don't know if this issue was addressed, so was wondering if anyone has found a different method to be successful.  Thanks!
 
April 26, 2006, 9:28 am CDT

At my witts end please help!!

I am a single parent to my 3 year old daughter. My ex has never really been actively in the picture from the beggining. When my child was a baby approx. 10 months old my ex verbally threatened to take our child so to get some sleep night without worrying if my ex was going to take her in the middle of the night I would put her in my bed. At first it was every once in a while and now I cant get her to sleep in her own bed or even a bed next to my bed. I know I started this mess, and I have been actively trying every method I find and read about and nothing works! Any advise on what I should, I thought maybe some sort of video or musice take to help her sleep?? She is a very very attached little girl and I want to help her feel more at ease so she and I can get good restful sleep. 

  

Here is what I have tried and the reaction I got: 

  

Laying next to her in her room on her bed- She would fall asleep and as soon as I got up she woke up. (hours after sometimes) 

  

Laying on the floor next to her bed in her room- Same as above 

  

Sitting next to her bed till she fell asleep- cried and never would fall asleep. 

  

Tucking her into bed and putting a gate up- Climbed right over and ran to my room. 

  

All of the suppernanny techniques and none worked, she cried and cried all night long (stubbern child), would fall asleep (rarely) and wake up in the middle of the night and run screaming into my room. 

  

I have tried playing soft music, evern night light thinkable, prayed over her and no go for her.  

  

  

  

This has gotten so bad that my long time BF (since my child was 9 months old and friends prior to that) moved out of my house because it was part of our drifting and finally breaking up. 

 
May 11, 2006, 7:42 am CDT

never a good sleeper

My almost 4 year old son has never been a good sleeper, when he was an infant up untill about 6 months, he would sleep a couple hours up an hour or two, sleep a couple hours, etc. As time went on it got a little better, but still does not sleep through the entire night, he usually wakes at least once or twice. We have always had a very difficult time getting him to go to bed, over the past few years we have tried everything, baths, hot-tub, stories, music, he would just keep getting up. Then we discovered the t.v. When he was almost 3 years old were on vacation and there was a t.v. in his room, we let him watch cartoons and set the timer to shut off after an hour. He was so happy, he stayed in bed and we did not hear a peep out of him till the very early morning. Through out the vacation, we had no problems getting him to go to bed (he still however would wake during the night). Well, needless to say, when we got home we went right out and bought a t.v. for his room. Well, now it has turned in to an even bigger problem, he goes to bed at about 9pm and he must have a movie on every night to go to bed, we set the timer for an hour and a half, well now he knows how to run the t.v. and DVD player and such and so he just gets up and turns it back on when it shuts off, or anytime he wakes during the night. Last night I got up two different times during the night and had to turn it off and it was still back on when I got up this morning! Three times he was up during the night! I am getting worried about when he has to go to school, this disrupted sleep can not be good for him. And what do I do about the mess with the t.v., I have tried taking it away and we go right back to him fighting bed time untill all hours of the night, and then when he wakes during the night instead of being able to turn the t.v. on he is in our room crying again! The only time this house sees good sleep is when we get him up very early in the morning (with a huge battle), don't let him take a nap (very cranky all evening), and keep him up till as late as possible (11 or 12), then he will sleep all night. I have friends with children his age who talk about thier kids going to bed at 8pm and sleeping all night till 7am (and always have). What am I to do?!
 
May 17, 2006, 12:12 pm CDT

Sleep problems

I'm replying to the lady who has a son that wakes up frequently throughout the night and demands television at bedtime. When I first met my husband, he put his 2 year old to bed whenever he wanted to go to bed (usually between 9 and 11 at night, EEK). He was a single parent. When we moved in together, I knew things had to change. I'd never had kids of my own, but I worked for a few years in daycare and I knew sleep was essential to a happy, healthy kid. Here's the thing - kids will try to get by with what you let them get by with. At first, when our son was 3, he didn't want to stay in bed, especially since we made bedtime 7 pm because we rise early at 6 or 7 and he should get arond 12 hours of sleep - so that makes it ok in case we wake him up with our moving around. He didn't want to stay in bed, but you have to help them. We'd give him a bath and then it was bedtime. Every time he got up, we just walked him back to his door. He knew the door got closed, he had to tuck himself in, and there was no talking. There needs to be NO reward for getting out of bed. No hugs, no singing, no talking or cajoling, just straight back to bed. It may sound mean, but you have to remember, your son will be worse off with bad sleep! If you watch the nanny shows, they practice this same thing. After a few days of that, our son went to sleep fine. No tv, no radio, nothing else. He just sleeps. Now he knows the rules - you go to bed and if you get up you just have to go straight back AND we have a consequence of no television the next day. He only gets 1/2 hour a day, so he values his TV. Every night we tuck him in and say "Waht happens if you get up?" and he'll crow "no TV!!!!"
 
May 25, 2006, 5:24 pm CDT

daughter never sleeps

I have a seven year old daughter that has adhd and never has gone to sleep peacefully in a day in her life! I am at the end of my rope with her! She fights me until she cries her self to sleep! She is very demanding and very strong willed! Is there any hope for my peaceful nights?
 
May 26, 2006, 5:58 pm CDT

bedtime trouble

I too have little monsters at bedtime. My son seems to have more energy at night then all day!! They will not sleep in their own rooms, They will sleep in one bed together (after a 3-4 hour battle) or they sleep with me when I am too tired to fight for 4 hours. 

  

My 5 year old is still wetting the bed even though he stops drinking before 8 (remember that he is still awake 3-4 hours after that) and goes to the washroom a couple times before bed. This is another reason I would prefer him in his own bed. 

  

My 3 year old is a follower and will run with her brother but if separated she may cry herself to sleep 

  

HELP 

 
May 30, 2006, 9:02 pm CDT

Still sleeping in pull-ups

What do you do about an 8 and 10 year old that still sleep in pull-ups every night? One girl and one boy. They say that they won't wake up if they have to pee. It is embarrassing for the kids when they have a sleep over, or if they stay at someone elses house. They will bring their used pull-ups home, rather than risk being caught throwing them away at their friends house. They have totally accommodated this inconvenience. HELP!          

   

Worried Aunt  

 
June 8, 2006, 12:46 pm CDT

Bed wetting

Quote From: jeterpet

What do you do about an 8 and 10 year old that still sleep in pull-ups every night? One girl and one boy. They say that they won't wake up if they have to pee. It is embarrassing for the kids when they have a sleep over, or if they stay at someone elses house. They will bring their used pull-ups home, rather than risk being caught throwing them away at their friends house. They have totally accommodated this inconvenience. HELP!          

   

Worried Aunt  

I have the same problem with my 6 year old girl... we have tried everything...waking her up in the night, letting her wet herself (it does not wake her) , cut off the fluids, we have taken her to the urologist who did an ultra sound and urine check - which all came back normal... he put us on meds for an overactive bladder -- did not work - tried the ddavp pill -- did not work -- ddavp nose spray - worked 1 night.....   I am also searching for answers --  i recently come across a website - nobedwetting.com  -- i have not spoken to my pediatrician yet about it, but they say that most problems are actuall sleep issues... they use no meds, no pull ups, no alarms....  it is costly, but I am going to talk with my dr about it  -- i am over the pull ups and cannot imagine having to buy them for years to come.. if you find out anything please let me know. 

  

Jana 

 
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