Topic : Sleep Issues

I have a 6 year old daughter and 3 year old son, both of which sleep in my bed.  Not because I want them to, and not because I am ok with it, but I feel like I've just tried everything and NOTHING works.  I am to the point that I am so tired, I just dont fight it, so that I too can get some sleep.  Through the years we've had things under control several times, but something always changes and we're right back where we started.  My kids are both stubborn and strong willed.  For some reason, they have become the bosses of the house because I am so tired of struggling with them.  I know that I need to get control back, but I don't know how.  It's not only bed time, either.  I can ask them to do something and they always have 4 or 5 things they're going to do first.  I'm becoming very depressed feeling like my kids are out of control!  Deep down I know they could be a lot worse, but things are still very bad.  HELP!

Having a 6 year old foster son, who also suffers from constant nite terrors, here are some things that have worked for me, this is also been very helpful for the siblings in resting through the night. 

No snacks before bed....at least 45mins before bed snacks should be cut off. 

First, have the room in a cool state, not cold, but cool enough that they will not over heat during the night. 

Second, bedtime stories are very helpful for creating a calm or funny state of mind before falling asleep. 

Third, a night light is always very helpful, it allows the young ones to orientate to the surroundings when they awake. 

Fourth, grab a relaxation cd/tape.....one with quiet relaxation music or earth sound.  This should never be a story or childrens songs, as they usually will create participation in the sounds and that is not the goal. 

What has also been helpful is to talk about the terror, grab a sheet of paper and have the child draw or paint it.   this way it becomes a thing that you can see and address and not part of just your child. 

  

Good luck 

When my son was two he was climbing out of his crib it was surprising to me that  he was really doing this, but then I knew it was time for a bed because I did not want him to hurt his self.  So we went out and bought him a bed and he was still getting up during the night coming in our room.    

  

One day I was at the store and it came across to  me that maybe if I got him a tent he would stay in his room and sleep in the tent.  Guess what it worked even with him taking naps because he did not want to take them but he was happy to when he got his tent.  He's three now almost four and we still in the winter time put his tent up in his room and he has a choice to sleep in his tent or his bed. 

  

There are nights that he still gets up and come to our room but it's not every night and don't I band him on those night because some kids do have bad dreams or there might be something else going on.  So I just go to his to room and grab his sleeping bag and he sleeps in his sleeping bag.     

I have a little boy that turned 5 last September.  In the Spring of 2005, I had signed him up for baseball, and soccer not even thinking about the two overlapping (the sign up time was late enough that I didn't think they would overlap), but it ended up that he was practicing several times during the week, and when games started, they were several days a week.  Sometimes he would play a soccer game, I'd take him to the truck and change uniforms and go play a baseball game.  What amazed me, was even after all this, he would still not go to bed until 11 or so at night.  I would be tired, but he would be wide open...  I've just had to learn that he is one that doesn't require as much sleep as others do.  Another thing I've learned is that he will only play one sport at a time...  :-)

         I am a mom myself (my children are 3 and 1 so I know how tired you feel.) I know that the last thing you want to hear in the middle of the night is a child screaming at the top her lungs, but the reason she may be waking up is because you keep getting up with her. I also agree with the other person that responded to you, rule out the chance that she may have night terrors, and if your doctor tells you that shes ok there may be a chance that she may have woken up the first time or even first couple of times to a bad dream and then noticed that waking up screaming and hollering works alot better then waking up and going back to bed to get your attention. Remember it is dark in her room she's going to want you regardless of a bad dream or not. Kids will always adopt new routines even in the middle of the night. I know it's sounds like alot to ask but if your doctor rules out the possiblity of night terrors then you may have to give her a little tough love and let her cry it out.   

Hope find the advice you need :) 

In reference to the suggestion of unsing non-habit forming Benadryl for a child ?  Unless you have been directed by a physician , there is something worng, it causes and un-natural sleep, on difficult to wake up from. If there was a fire, or an situation in  the home, that child would not wake up.  

  

A long shot, no do you read the papers just in your town or city, homes do burn down , people die and they never thought it would happen too them. If I were your Pediatrician, I would wonder why you took it upon yourself to drug your child. There is something wrong with this picture.  

  

Always consult a physician , or therapist when a situation comes up that you fins so difficult.  

  

My son was 2 years old, he cried and cried literally all night long, until he got in our bed, there was not getting him to stay. Not saying this is the reason, but one my husband I fought about everything, and loud. The other is after 6 months, we found he needed ear surgery 5 times. He could not hear, he had a growth in his tracter, and would stop breathing. It was God sent, that we took him the a doctor.  

He was later diagnosed with other delay situations, that he spent three years in a special needs hospital, 8 hours a day in many forms fo emotional therapies, speech, and what if I just evalutated him my self, and gave him a pill.  

  

He became the manager for a whole store of one of the National Largest Auto chain.  They never new his history, no one knew , he had developed it too a father and husband, and a darn good one too.  

  

Please, treat your child like, you want too know the problem not just shut it up.  

  

Best it is waring , I will admit that so the sooner the better.  

Extreme 406 

Time out for misbehavior, if your have too put them back there every time they get up, do it for a while. Being tired for 3 months  is a breezes as long as you keep thinking of the future.  

  

Listen closely, I spent 24 years fighting up hill, I had the answers, but I was alone on the solution, and we both worked.  I could have never got my husband to work with me. I am not suggesting my solution too you at all. I come from a family that is Christan and marriage is a life commitment.  

But in my case, truly I was seventeen and dumber than dumb. Frying pan to the pot stuff! I was the only one they said, they were waiting for me to say "uncle".  

  

When I left my husband I move too the next state, I rent a home and my youngest son, who I had really no problems with, he and I broke up the situations that developed from " no control", it is not pretty, it all becomes the " I 'm for me ",  and "who are you for" situation. Don't let this happen too you, many bad thing develop from not, taking control , you will be revisiting it over and again. Even when they are adults, and it does not take a rocket scienctist to figure out, it started at home. It just fell over into the adult world.  

  

Get the help, or set the ground rules, and make them stick. Some need that outside support, I did , I was working at a mental hosptial and learn allot of things. I read more articles the physician there wrote, I could probably help the "Nanny".  

  

Praise the, for the good thing, and let know when and where and what is not acceptable.  

  

My sons change their habits in their twenties, no one can convince me of anything else. It is all up too what you do, enforces of give in.  

  

The started coming for Sunday dinner, they would start verbally abusing one another or me, time too leave.  See ya next time, a few months would pass.  

They would raises their voices, see ya next time, and I would not call them.  

After several times and spaces in our visiting, they got who I was even when they were children.  

I just did not get the support, the one thing that is important too know, is that even if your spouse does not get involved, you tell him, to keep quite and at least let them know their is no division.  

  

Mom raised us for 5 years on her own, dad came back and he just had no patients, she took that reins and in enforced the rule all 8 that we still home of 10. We got the message, for sure, we would be in our rooms watching our friends play basket ball in front.  

  

The message in this is "Parenting is not easy, it is an art, because no child is the same, it is mastering the individual".  Some are easier going, some just seem brighter and more persistant, but the good news, your are still the parent and your are the boss.  Be tired for a while longer, or be tired and unhappy for year as myself.  

 

Happy now! 

Best 

Extreme 406 

  

  

  

It is the long hall that counts, two panicking , out of control parents, if the formula my children where, waiting for, it was their clue too climb in or raises the roof.  

  

I could tell you stories that would frighten the heck out of you, or make you wonder how, I survived.  

There are witnesses, it is never too late, too learn the rules. It just takes a little longer to break the bad habits.  

  

Remember to love and but be firm, guilt will keep you from being, in control.  

  

Extreme 406 

I have a 11 year old with bipolar and ADHD.  I live in a really small town in Wyoming.  I don't know where to turn for help.  I have had him off all meds. for almost a year now.  He was on meds. for 7 years.  Things were going along good until about 6 weeks ago.  He has started to have nightmares and is up most of the night.  I am not getting any sleep and I am not dealing will with it.  He tells me that he is seeing men with black masks walking into his room (or mine when he is in there).  I am not able to reason with him.  He is hearing different noises and keeps telling me someone is coming and is going to steal his bothers.  He will not sleep with me or on the floor of my room because he thinks that there are things under the bed.  He wants to be in his bed with me on the coach in the other room.  But he is up every 15 to 20 mins. to see if I am still there.  The Dr. has given him 3 different kinds of meds. to help him sleep and they are not working.  He is now also fighting go to bed.  I think because he is afraid of the nightmares.  During the daytime he will not even go upstairs to his room because he says that he is to scared.  I don't know what to do.  Can Someone Help Me....  I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP!!