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Topic : Sleep Issues

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 01:21:39 pm
Author : dataimport

Is your child afraid of monsters under the bed? Do you have a hard time getting them to stay in their bed at night or setting a regular bedtime? Do you have a bedwetter? Share advice and support with other parents of children with sleep issues.



 
chloesmommy
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January 10, 2008, 5:26 pm PST

bedtime/naptime terror

My daughter, which is 2 1/2 cries and screams during sleep time . We have a routine at night, which we read in her room, and then she gets into her bed.  The minute I leave the room, she is at the door screaming and crying.  It goes on for at least 30 minutes unti my husband or I go into her room, and either sit with her or displine her by popping her leg.  What can we try that works!  For nap time too - the same thing happens.  And by the way, she is no longer in a crib b/c she was climbing out, she is in a toddler bed, and we have baby gates up so she can't come down the steps.
 
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pikitou
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January 19, 2008, 5:35 pm PST

Mother having trouble putting daughter to bed!!!

I have a 2 1/2 daughter who has trouble going to sleep. We changed from a crib to a single bed three months ago and since then it's been...hard! When I put her to bed after her routine - bath - massage -lullabies - she gets up maybe 10 times in 1/2 hour! I go nuts! And during the night she wakes 2 to 3 times.

We tried many different methods: locking her door, ignoring her, warning her verbally and now (it's been a week) we're trying the passive method - bringing her back to bed without talking to her or even looking at her.

It worked fine for my husband! But not for me, why??? I went out one evening and she didn't wake once with her Dad. With me it's a WHOLE different story.

I work three days a week. She goes to daycare three days a week ( 9 to 3) and the rest of the time I spend it with her. I do plenty of activities: seeing my family, going to coffee places, parks, playing, etc. Her father works from home and doesn't spend a lot of time with her. He's mainly in front of his computer. He keeps telling me I should change my attitude towards her. So what should I change? What am I doing wrong? I need help.
 
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mamade2
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January 31, 2008, 4:28 pm PST

Problems with 3 year old.

i am having a huge problem it has been going on for 2 years he does not sleep at all.  If he does it is not until 2:00 am or later it is almost like insomnia it is insane I have no idea what I am suppose to do anymore.
 
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girls3kelly
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February 12, 2008, 5:23 pm PST

explosive bedtime behavior

I am in desperate need of help/advice etc. I am the mother of 3 beautiful girls; almost 4, 2 and 4 months. We're busy to say the least. The problem I have is my 4 year old daughter tends to have some of the explosive behaviors I've been reading about. The smallest things will set her off, for example; putting on her socks, if it is twisted, instead of trying once or twice she immediately explodes into this grunting/moaning/whining thing that escalates into screaming and crying. My husband and I are usually pretty calm and explain that she should take the sock off and try again. Immediately that suggestion is met with 'I can't...I just can't!" Often we'll walk away and let her be frustrated. She will most times continue with her loud frustrations, but will end up putting on her own sock.

 

The bigger problem is bedtime. Since she was born she has had difficulty self-soothing, waking every 45 minutes to 2 hours as an infant and even beyond into toddlerhood. We have the exact same routine at the exact same time every night since she was 18 months old. She has dinner, bath, book and yogurt, prayers and bed. She's typically in bed by 7:00-7:30 at the latest. What happens is she will get up to go potty (AGAIN), but since she usually does go...we let her. Then after that she has been sneaking into her sister's room often waking her up. She is always ushered back to bed. She screams, kicks and cries at this point. We continue on down the hall in the living room and after a short period of time she's up again...this can occur up to 12-14-20 times a night all the time escalating into screaming from us, spankings, etc. (none of which have helped). She also wakes 8-10 times a night coming into our room to disturb us, disturbing the 2 year old sister, screaming and crying and carrying on all over again.

 

We've tried sticker charts for going to bed, stickers for staying in bed, taking her toys away, taking movies away, offering a dollar for each successful night so she can earn a new something. We've tried babygates to keep her from wandering at night (she climbs them), locking her door - extreme i know...but she kicks the door for hours at a time, even if i'm sitting outside the door.

 

Her diet mainly consists of fruits and vegetables and meat, no significant sugar, no caffeine, no soda or koolaid..etc.

 

Please help!! We're desperate. Her acting out is really hurting our relationship...we're mad, she's mad and it's just not much fun.

 
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lilmamma34
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February 19, 2008, 8:21 pm PST

Re: Sleep Issues

Quote From: mommy99

My 6 year old daughter constantly wakes us up in the middle  of the night.  She wakes up screaming and will not go back to bed with out myself or my husband tucking her in again.  This has gone on for 2 months straight and i can't do it any more.  Please , if you have any advice write back. Thank you.

Hi,

My husband and I have a similar situation but our 2 older children who are 8, 6, have been doing this for awhile. But what we have done is I let my husband get up and put them back to bed, and all. Usually this works. But there are times that we've woken up and they've gotten on the floor to sleep. Our oldest one is

used to being with us like that since he was little. We just try to keep putting them back in their bed, and most of the time they will stay in their own beds.

 
 
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servicesfg
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April 23, 2008, 3:28 pm PDT

Sleep Issues

Quote From: nanny777

My best friend still sleeps with her 7 year old daughter- I have been there for her through a terrible divorce these last few years. We watched Nanny 911 last year & I thought it was a perfect opportunity to discuss the topic of her daughter sleeping with her. Then we watched Dr Phil when they had a little girl on that had the same problem- but she had both parents. She used to mention to everyone that her daughter sleeps with her, but she did not notice the concerned looks they shot her. Her family and other friends had voiced their concern to me also. When we were watching Nanny 911- I remember how she was appalled when the mother slept with her kids & even took the baby out of his crib to sleep in bed with her. But my friend does the same thing! When we discussed her situation- she told me that they only had eachother & she saw nothing wrong with it. But after watching a few more shows, and I brought up the subject a few times she agreed that it might be time. Her childs 7th birthday was in April so we had months to prepare her. I helped encourage her to be a big girl on her birthday & sleep in her own bed. I started to see signs of resistance from the mother as soon as we went shopping to give her daughter a big girl room makeover with new bedding, etc. I could see she was anxious about it herself. She will never admit this though. The first birthday night, her daughter went to bed fine. I had set up the room all by myself for her since her mother said she was too busy to do it. Then the mother said that she could come in her room if she was scared or woke up. I disagreed with her- I thought she should comfort her but put her right back in her big girl bed. Well that was the beginning of an exhausting struggle I don't want to be a part of anymore. When I announced to her family that the girl was going to sleep in her own bed- they applauded! I even saw the 'big girl' proud of herself. But I saw how her mother was having a harder time than she was. She told me she was too busy & tired to be bothered putting her child in her own bed- that it was easier to just let her sleep with her. So then I went over EVERY NIGHT & tucked her in her own bed. I asked her in the morning how it went & they both said fine, but I sensed something was wrong. When I asked the child alone if everything was ok with her big girl bed, she told me how her mommy would come & get her every time after I left & bring her to bed with her. Not only was her mother discouraging her from sleeping in her own bed, she was encouraging her to & telling her daughter to pretend she was going to sleep in her own room until I left. She was teaching her child how to lie & I believe hinder her development. Her child still has a blankie and sucks her thumb. We just found out that she has to have extensive dental work because of this. I told her that if she slept in her own bed & had her own privacy & space- then her self esteem would be more positive & she would be a much more confident girl. Her mother disagrees. They are still very affectionate also. Her mother is constantly asking her daughter for hugs & kisses- the child is very clingy to her mother & it seems that the mother is using her daughter to fill her needs for a affection that she is missing from a spouse. It is now August 1st and it is still continuing. Her roommate told me that whenever I help tuck the child into bed, the mother will go in & say she is going to kiss her goodnight but ends up taking her to bed with her. I feel like I am wasting my time. Also I treasure our friendship and don't want it to suffer because of this. I have spent sooo much energy on helping her through this divorce- I love her & her daughter as if she was my own. I find myself filling the role her father once did- because my friend complains all the time about having to raise her child alone- I help her all I can. My friend is a teacher & is working on her masters at night. A new school year is starting. I told her it would actually be easier on her to give her daughter a bedtime so she is on a schedule & then she will have time for herself. That is another thing-my best friend refuses to spend any time alone. If her roommate is not home, she will pack a bag & spend the night at her parents house. Her mother has confided in me many times that she is unhappy about this. I don't want to get involved, but because of our dear friendship- I have found myself in the middle. I even suggested an allowance each week & drew up a list of chores with the child- everyone loved the idea- but the mother does not follow it-especially the part where she should sleep in her own bed. She still gives her the allowance even if she does not do the chores which include sleeping in her own bed. My best friend is now lying to me- saying her child will go to sleep in her bed but then comes in her room in the morning- She says she sees nothing wrong with that- but I have a key to her house & found myself actually going there to check on her! Everytime her daughter would be sleeping with  her & when I asked her about it they both would lie to me- not knowing I checked- I feel stupid for doing that & wasting my time- she is not even my daughter. Maybe I am out of line- but her mother asked me to help- and it breaks my heart when others talk about her behind her back-especially her family. Also- this 7 year old girl has recently been caught acting out sexually with her girl cousin when she visited her father. I saw her last night with her hands in her pants watching tv- I told her mother that this was normal for her age- and that is why she needs her own space to sleep in with privacy. Her mother disagreed with me & just asked her to come to her & gave her more hugs & kisses & called her 'her little baby'.  I don't have children- am I wrong to try to help this way?? I babysit for her almost daily & I never charge her a dime- I love this kid- I don't want to see her grow up & sleep with the first warm body that comes along because she does not want to sleep alone. But I think what has happened is making things worse- her mother makes me out to be the bad guy- so the little girl views sleeping with her mother as a Good thing or a reward. That defeats the whole purpose. She should WANT to sleep in her own bed- to feel proud & confident. Another reason I believe she should be in her own bed- her mother is starting to date. She is meeting people online. I don't want her to bring someone home & have her daughter in the bed also! And if she does have a man in her bed- and THEN she makes her child go to her own room- that is UNFAIR to the child & the child will resent them both! I have scoured articles online & emailed them to her- but she will open it and say "Blah  blah blah"- and delete it. I asked her mother today- "Do you believe it is ok for your daughter to sleep with you- if you think it is beneficial, then let me know so I can stop trying to help! She is YOUR daughter." My friend insists over & over that she does sleep in her own bed-which I know is untrue. . I TIVO Dr Phil EVERYDAY!! I love it! Please give me any advice!! Thanks so much!
 
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toni02
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April 27, 2008, 1:27 am PDT

sleep

Everyone talks about getting their kids to sleep, how do I get myself to sleep. Tried everything. CANT SLEEP. Now it is causing depression, pain in my joints, Brain fag. You name it. I haven't sleep more than 2 hours a night in 3 years. Is here any help out there?

Please
 
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mommymayi
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May 21, 2008, 9:03 am PDT

Don't know what is going on

My 6 year old daughter does this weird thing in her sleep, when my husband is sick I will sleep in my daughter's room with her so that I do not get sick and not have to listen to his snoring all night nolng. I have noticed that when she is sleeping that she will sit up and sway in a circular motion or rock back and forth, sometimes she tips over and hits her head on the wall or will fall over on to me, she will also flip flop around so much that her head unds up at the foot of the bed and she kicks me in the face. She is fully alseep when she does this and I have to lay her back down on her pillow and 5 to 10 minutes later she is doing it again. Should I be concerned that she is doing this? She will be starting first grade next year and will have to wake up earlier in the morning to catch the bus, I am concerned that this is making her not get a good nights sleep because when she is awake during the day she is always saying that she is sleepy and will take a nap. She goes to bed at 8pm and is up at 7am. Should I make an appointment with her doctor? HELP!
 
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jade56031
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June 3, 2008, 9:42 am PDT

"Her" room is "our" room

 

I have some issues with my husbands 9yr old daughter. When she and her brothers came to live with me and their father. Due to a unhealthy situation. They all slept in there rooms. She didn't do that very long. One night she had a bad dream and I let her sleep in me and my husbands room. Now she thinks she has control over it. So much that when my husband is home he has to sleep on the couch because she throws a fit. How can I get her out of it?

 

 

 

 
 
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kristi710
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September 15, 2008, 10:20 am PDT

Never a sleeper

From the day we brought my almost 4 year old daughter home from the hospital, she was never a good sleeper.  She never napped well, never slept through the night.  She would fall asleep on you but would wake up within a half hour of laying her down.  She would wake up in complete terror and cry so hard that she would throw up.  Her & I started sleeping on the couch together when she was 3 months old and I went back to work.  It's now been over 3-1/2 years and 99% of the time I end up sleeping with her at some point during the night - she still wakes up 2-3 times a night.  I'm convinced that she has restless leg syndrome, as I do, but no doctor will treat it because she's not able to explain it to them.  I know that without my medication I would be up screaming too!  I've taken her to one sleep specialist, answered all of his questions, told him that she sweats profusely at night, seems to stop breathing occasionally, etc., but he refused to go any further into the testing until she was sleeping by herself.  I told him that if we could get her to sleep through the night, that wouldn't be a problem.  His solution is to let her cry it out and if/when she throws up, just clean it up without speaking to her and walk away.  I can't do that to her - I know that there must be a reason she's waking up.  Any help out ther?
 
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