Topic : Coping with STDs

Thank you for the reply, I actually asked him tonight to go with me to a marriage counselor and he agreed.  We can't talk with each other without screaming.  I told him I either want to schedule an appointment with a marriagage counselor or a divorce attorney.  His stone cold lack of affection has our marriage at an end.   He did admit to me tonight that his ex-wife told him after their divorce that  she gave him herpes, he said he didn't think anything of it because he didn't believe her.   This could be a cover up for his infidelity.  He's done so many other things that it's hard to trust him.
Maybe a marriage counselor is the right route to go.  Thanks alot

 I was tested for I know HIV @ the health department before we got married, I asked for all STD's, I assumed they tested for herpes.  I don't know for sure.  Then I was tested about  2 years ago when applying for health insurance, I don't know what tests they ran.  I would like help reading the results where could I post them?  Do you have a link? I did do a blood test for both types of herpes.   The Dr. said that the results are inconclusive but the range was 146 for one of them and 147 for the other.   I did read that Herpes type 1 that 80% of the population has.   The Dr said I have definantely been exposed to HSV1 & 2 and should use precautions to protect my partner.

Do you or a loved one have, or suspect you may have an STD? Share support and advice with others dealing with a sexually transmitted disease.

 

I have had genital herpes since 1995. Here is my herpes biography:

http://yoshi2me.com/herpes-biography.html

 

Just because you have herpes doesn't mean your sex life is over. I am happily married and have three beautiful children. My husband does not have genital herpes. Here is our telling story:

http://yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html

 

It's important to realize that herpes is not included in the routine std testing process. So, if you really want to find out what your status is you have to ask to be tested specifically for it. I also think it's important to be open and honest with your partner *before* you have sex with them. Make a date to go get tested. Know your std status. I also believe that whether you have oral herpes or genital herpes.. you still owe it to your partner to be open and honest with them.

 

Best of luck tackling this topic Dr. Phil. If anybody can do it - you sure can!!

 

Angela Stevens

Omaha, Nebraska

Patient Advocate

www.yoshi2me.com -- My herpes help site

Most health departments around the country will not test you for herpes unless you have an active lesion that can be cultured. I know that the Douglas County Health Department here in Nebraska will not provide a type specific herpes antibody test to patients that ask for them. Here is more information about accurate herpes tests and how they work:

http://yoshi2me.com/genital-herpes.html

 

Feel free to post your IGG test results here if you'd like. I will see what I can do to help you decipher them. If I'm not sure how to read your specific results I will find somebody that can. You can also post them to the herpes folder here if you want to:

http://yoshi2me.com/phpbb/index.php

 

It sounds to me as if your doctor believe that you have hsv-1 and hsv-2 by the way he has told you that you have been exposed. Is that the impression that you got when your doc spoke with you?

 

Please note that you either have hsv or you don't have it. There are no half-ways.

 

I sure hope I have helped. I noticed your post right before I was about to log off and thought it might be nice to try and help you out.

 

Have a great wednesday you guys!!

 

Angela Stevens

Omaha, Nebraska

Patient Advocate

www.yoshi2me.com -- My herpes help site

http://boards.webmd.com/.5987f42d/  is the link to Terri's board.  Post your blood test results there for more help ( usually it's me or Terri answering over there but there are also a few other regs who also can help you )  146 probably was not your result - see if perhaps it was 1.46 or whatever the results are.  Even if your numbers were 1.46 and 1.47 they are both rather low and you should pursue confirmatory testing.  You can either retest with a herpes select igg for hsv1 and hsv2 in another month, get a biokit blood test for hsv2 ( it only tests for hsv2 but can confirm a borderline hsv2 result like you have ), get a herpes western blot blood test or have your doctor order the herpes inhibition test by Quest labs ( confusing I know - www.herpesdiagnosis.com has terrific info on how to get properly tested for herpes  to learn more ) Also there's no such thing as being exposed to herpes - you either have it or you don't. Some further testing for you should clear that question up for you!!

 

They usually do not test for herpes at the health department and they don't test for it when applying for health insurance either. It might take some digging to find out if you were actually ever tested for herpes before this - chances are good you weren't :(    Just be sure to get your partner tested too.

 

betsy

 

 

I'm glad you liked the post, and it really is true.

 

First, I would suggest some counseling - its helped me get over and/or through some really tough men crap in my life.  I strongly advocate getting yourself together before taking on someone's stuff, ya know?

 

Then you'll be strong enough if someone decides little old herpes is too much to handle.  And really - if they do, thank them.  How would they handle something really big, like monthly bills, in laws, etc?  Or worse, cancer? 

 

Jess

I work in STD as an educator for a clinic.  I have hsv2.  Who knows where I got it..my nurse practitioner said I could have had it for 20yrs and it just decided to flare up now in my 40's.  I get so angry when people judge you for this herpes..it is a skin condition that some media decided to talk about negatively about 10yrs back ...about the herpes epidemic.  Yes alot of people have it and yes it can be very annoying for some but meds have come a long way in improving those symptoms.  I lead a very normal life...met a man on the internet we started dating and then I told him about my hsv2 and he has been wonderful with it.  He read all that I gave him and he understood that there were no dangerous effects on health and saw it too has a skin condition.

 

My peeves are those who sleep with others without talking about thier status beforehand and those who laugh, make fun, of etc of those with herpes with out the knowledge or education to even know what hsv is.

and those who think they don't need tested because they are sure they don't have something.

Doctors who tell people they don't need to be tested for hsv because

a. 80% of the population has herpes so testing is a mute point......yes drs do say this.....

b. you don't have any signs or symptoms so therefore you don't have herpes

c. your married or in a long term relationship.... so why do you need tested. 

My PCP said no big deal. My GYN said why test almost everyone has it, no big deal. My dermatoligist said if I have no symptoms I can't spread it. It is not only the general population that needs to be educated it's the medical profession too.  I wonder do THEY ALL have it??????? If it's no big deal why are we all suffering with the stigma?

"My peeves are those who sleep with others without talking about thier status beforehand and those who laugh, make fun, of etc of those with herpes with out the knowledge or education to even know what hsv is.   and those who think they don't need tested because they are sure they don't have something."

 

Copper - good to see you again and I couldn't agree more.  I also work in a clinic, and I hear so many people come in with something and they are so mad and are using horrible names to describe the person they got something from.  I just say "Well, tell me about your conversation about stds and testing you had before you had sex."  Most often, there wasn't one. 

 

Unless someone is forcing you to have sex, you do have the option to ask about testing, std history, etc..

 

And the reason we are all dealing with the stigma is because we are BUYING INTO IT.  We are choosing to do that - no one is forcing us.  Once we realize its just a skin condition and not a moral statement, we will be contributing to a reduction in the stigma.

 

Jess