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Topic : Coping with STDs

Number of Replies: 231
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:50:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you or a loved one have, or suspect you may have an STD? Share support and advice with others dealing with a sexually transmitted disease.

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May 31, 2008, 11:58 pm CDT

hurting

My bf and I have been together for about 2 years.. when the unexpected occured... He got genital warts... He went to the health dept. and got tested... sure enough... it was what we thought it was... so i made a appt. with my gyno ASAP and got in sooner than later. Well, as the test would have it... I came out clean... but he wasn't satisfied with that at all... he wanted me to go and get more tests done to make sure that I didn't have HPV or genital warts... Well needless to say, the results haven't came back in the mail yet. My major concern is that he isn't as sexually active as we were in the beginning... I know that having a STD is a major thing for alot of people... I just never thought that it would happen to us. Now that it has, I am accepting of it and I am learning how to move on with it. It's not like it's the end of the world... He told me that he wanted some time to think about all of this and to figure things out. I told him that I could wait as long as it took for us to be intimate again. The truth is, I have a huge sex drive and he doesn't. He is more into his video games and watching CNN. We are both 22 years old and it's like we're 80. I would have thought that in my 20's I would be getting some quite often... however, 6 months ago...that's when things started to slow down... I am lucky to get anything at all... I know that I have gained some weight since we first started dating... but so has he... I told him that I feel un-attractive over and over again.. he just doesn't get it... So, that's all for now... Any one got any tips? I am lost and hurting...

 
June 25, 2008, 1:05 pm CDT

I'm living with HPV & life can be good

Quote From: cierrabu1

My bf and I have been together for about 2 years.. when the unexpected occured... He got genital warts... He went to the health dept. and got tested... sure enough... it was what we thought it was... so i made a appt. with my gyno ASAP and got in sooner than later. Well, as the test would have it... I came out clean... but he wasn't satisfied with that at all... he wanted me to go and get more tests done to make sure that I didn't have HPV or genital warts... Well needless to say, the results haven't came back in the mail yet. My major concern is that he isn't as sexually active as we were in the beginning... I know that having a STD is a major thing for alot of people... I just never thought that it would happen to us. Now that it has, I am accepting of it and I am learning how to move on with it. It's not like it's the end of the world... He told me that he wanted some time to think about all of this and to figure things out. I told him that I could wait as long as it took for us to be intimate again. The truth is, I have a huge sex drive and he doesn't. He is more into his video games and watching CNN. We are both 22 years old and it's like we're 80. I would have thought that in my 20's I would be getting some quite often... however, 6 months ago...that's when things started to slow down... I am lucky to get anything at all... I know that I have gained some weight since we first started dating... but so has he... I told him that I feel un-attractive over and over again.. he just doesn't get it... So, that's all for now... Any one got any tips? I am lost and hurting...

Hi, I was so touched by your message that I wanted to let you know that there are some great resources for those of living with STDs.  My favorite new one is a book by Dr. Adina Nack called Damaged Goods? Women Living with Incurable STDs.  She talks about her own experiences with HPV and shares many women's stories.  It really helped me see how others had gone on to live good lives after getting a STD diagnosis...I hope it helps you, too.
 
September 10, 2008, 8:55 pm CDT

AIDS

i have aids... and it sucks cause i am scared one day i will die.

and i dont know what to do, its just so heart breaking.. that my girlfriend wont have sex with me anymore.

i need help.. seriously.. i miss out on a lot now a days..

 

 
October 23, 2008, 1:29 am CDT

It sucks

Quote From: chocolate22

I was tested in March of 2007 for all STDs just to be sure that everything was ok.  My tests came back negative.  My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in Feb 2007 even though it was for only a short period of time ( maybe 30 sec).  He hadn't been tested since May 2006, and he told me his tests came back negative.  In December of 2007 we both went to the clinic to get tested because I suggested that that is something that ll couples should do, and he agreed.   A couple of weeks ago his test came back positive for clamydia and mine did too.  I have never had sex with anyone besides him, so I know he gave it to me.  He swears that he has never cheated and that he must have had it before he met me.  As I understand it, you can have clamydia for years with no symptoms.  Besides this big issue, he is a very good man, and he really wants to work it out.  I am in love and he tells me he is in love with me and he is willing to do whatever to make it work.  Should I take him back or let the relationship go?

While I know it sucks having something like this happen, but you are right, he could have been carrying it with absolutely no symptoms.  Another thing most people don't know about chlamydia is that a man can carry it and pass it around and not nessicarily been infected with it.  But, you are kinda lucky thats all it was, that is cureable.

I have HSV2, genital herpes, and let me tell you, I would take getting chlamydia any day over dealing with something that can't be cured.  Fortunately I don't get obs very often and I take daily meds to prevent them, so...  and I didn't even find out I had it until after I was married with a child.  Now, we will never actually know which of us brought it to the relationship because we both have it and people can have it also with out having obs for years.  I cried like a 5 year old who got her toy taken away the day I found out.  I was so disgussed and embarrased.  I had no idea what to tell my husband... he didn't care to much... his response was that we are married for life so why does it matter...  I guess I got lucky when he married me...haha...  but its still not easy.  if one of us has an ob we can't be intimate, or when I was having our 2nd child, I had to be on double meds and checked thoroughly before they would let me deliver... it can be a hassle but the key to dealing with it is having support... if you can find that, you have it made
 
October 26, 2008, 11:39 pm CDT

should I just leave

 
November 11, 2008, 6:11 pm CST

Didn't know

I have been in a monogamous relationship for 8 years. I have had "cold sores" on my lip since I can remember...could have started in my late teens or early twenties, I don't know. Everyone referred to them as "cold sores" or "fever blisters" - never the word HERPES. Then I remember a friend of mine calling it that and I heard that it was only cotagious when you had an outbreak. Well, over 20 years later, I rarely get outbreaks...maybe once every 2-3 years and pretty mild. When I met my boyfriend, I had an outbreak in the relationship & I told him I get cold sores every once in a while & he can't kiss me when I get one. He thought nothing of it, I didn't either. Well, 2 months ago (this is now 8 years into our relationship) he got his first "cold sore". He is devastated. He said that I was untruthrful and dishonest because I didn't tell him it was HERPES. I said that it never crossed my mind to give it that term because no one I know calls it that - many of my friends have them, and so did my mom. It was always referred to as a cold sore or fever blister. I knew "herpes" but believed, now stupidly on my part, that this was the "mild" type and was only contagious when having an outbreak. Never thought of referring to it as HERPES. Well, now we recently learned that we both have genital herpes. It's unknown if I was the carrier from my previous marriage over 12 years ago, or my boyfriend gave it to me orally before he had his outbreak and I did the same to him. Needess to say, we are both devastated. He is having a hard time believing me that I had no genital symptoms - I NEVER DID until just recently. He is really pissed that I didn't tell him at the beginning of he relationship that I had HERPES on the lip. I didn't even think of using that term. Believe it or not, we were getting married in 2 weeks. That is now cancelled and he wants to walk. He says that I have no excuse, I am totally to be blamed, and his life is now ruined. I am ready to leave or he will. I'm hoping we can get counseling to get thru this because we have 8 wonderful years together. I think this isn't worth the all the shame and intense blame I am receiving as I am infected too. Any words of wisdom?
 
November 13, 2008, 11:45 pm CST

STD

Quote From: amyj72

Hi, I was so touched by your message that I wanted to let you know that there are some great resources for those of living with STDs.  My favorite new one is a book by Dr. Adina Nack called Damaged Goods? Women Living with Incurable STDs.  She talks about her own experiences with HPV and shares many women's stories.  It really helped me see how others had gone on to live good lives after getting a STD diagnosis...I hope it helps you, too.

 

 

Thanks, for talking about this (HPV).  I was diagnosed last year and have no desire to even date now.  I don't think I was slutty, but definitely have a few boyfriends last year (3) that I slept with...  the book's name, Damaged Goods, is really how I feel about myself.  I just can't help think that sex with someone I cared about was one of the few things that gave me self-worth - now I feel like that has been taken away completely!!!  Boy,does this scenario signify the dept of my profile name???

 
December 16, 2008, 5:50 pm CST

sons girlfriend has chlamydia

My sons girlfriend has chlamydia and she is 7 and  half months pregnant with my sons third child, she is 20 years old and her mother is aware of her situation.  She receives medicaid and her OB has prescribed her an antibiotic to get rid of it, however, she has been making up excuses as to not go and pick up her prescription.  I am very upset with the idea that she is too lazy to do anything about it and her mother has done nothing of the sorts to motivate her to take care of it.  I need some advice as to what I can do to keep from pulling my hair out.
 
January 11, 2009, 9:20 am CST

Coping with STDs

 I have had sex with this guy for 4 monthes. And then he tells me that I gave him something. I went and got a test and I did have somwething that was treatable. Well he blames me and he needed his space we live 80 ft from each other and  He said that he would get back to me b/c he was mad. I left him a message on his cell saying I went to the doctor but it has been 21 days since that message.
 
February 9, 2009, 7:29 pm CST

It's hard having hpv

Quote From: tpantovich

While I know it sucks having something like this happen, but you are right, he could have been carrying it with absolutely no symptoms.  Another thing most people don't know about chlamydia is that a man can carry it and pass it around and not nessicarily been infected with it.  But, you are kinda lucky thats all it was, that is cureable.

I have HSV2, genital herpes, and let me tell you, I would take getting chlamydia any day over dealing with something that can't be cured.  Fortunately I don't get obs very often and I take daily meds to prevent them, so...  and I didn't even find out I had it until after I was married with a child.  Now, we will never actually know which of us brought it to the relationship because we both have it and people can have it also with out having obs for years.  I cried like a 5 year old who got her toy taken away the day I found out.  I was so disgussed and embarrased.  I had no idea what to tell my husband... he didn't care to much... his response was that we are married for life so why does it matter...  I guess I got lucky when he married me...haha...  but its still not easy.  if one of us has an ob we can't be intimate, or when I was having our 2nd child, I had to be on double meds and checked thoroughly before they would let me deliver... it can be a hassle but the key to dealing with it is having support... if you can find that, you have it made
I found out i had herpies less then a year after i got married and i too cried i was brought up to believe that once i got married i would be safe from stds. However when i went to see my gyno she stated that my husband could have passed it to me orally. And he did not get an outbreak until a year after and he rarely gets them but i get them often usually because of stress and hormones and i can not afford the valtrex which works. I use a generic med. My relationship with my husband is rocky not because of that but because i found out 5 mo ago that he cheated on me and may have father a child by that woman. And because of other medical conditons i may not be able to have a child. Now i am trying to decide if i want to end this marriage of try to make this marriage work and except this child if it is my husbands child and the baby mama drama that is sure to follow. Because the woman he cheated on me with knew he was married.  So i am praying for direction. Because i truely love my husband. 
 
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