Topic : Are You Afraid to Age?

I am 57 years old and the actual act of sex has become so uncomfortable that my husband and I have sat down and decided that it is not worth the hassle althought if it was possible we would both be actively looking into it..anyone else out ther have this problem? how are you coping...all answers appreciated

I'm not afraid to age...inside.  I am only 42 and already don't like the outside!  The only thing I would change is my face.  You cannot get how much I hate to see my face everyday.  It is 4 different colors.  The color I was born with, white acne scars surrounded by some odd pattern of brown with dark spots of brown in that.  And the dermatologist don't care,  as soon as the learn that I live on $500. a month!  (disabled). 

I was surgically induced into menapause, so I really just don't care about it anymore. 

Am I weird?

I have learned that life goes on with or without me. I just turned 55, emotionally I am still 27 and physically my body is 90. I have MS., a degenerated last vertabrae and mild scoliosis (at birth), and Raynaud's disease and neuropathy. I am in extreme pain everyday-even with my pain meds.

I live on disability in Senior disabled housing. I have a beautiful flower garden, a vegetable garden (raised beds),  work in my art studio, teach 3 art classes three hours a week (volunteer), walk my dog three times a day.   Focus on the here and now and live each day as it might be your last.    Live your age as it is the only time you will be this age. Celebrate that!

   I didn't want to make it to 50 and now I don't want to make it to 60-only because of physical disability. I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY  LAST YEARS IN A NURSING HOME!!!!!

     My dad always said that we start to age the day we are born-get used to it. 

I just read your comment and I think I may have an answer for you. 

I am 37 and recently had a hystorectomy and started going through a lot of things your talking about. I also went to the Dr. and had them check me for early menopause. And like you, my tests came back perfect. Everything was normal. I kept complaining to my Doc that things were just not right.  So, my Doc tested my Thyroid. And what do you know, I had over active thyroid problems. 

My Doc explained to me that Thyroid problems look almost exactly like Menopause. You will suffer from mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, change in sex drive, vaginal dryness, change in weight, hair loss, dry skin, premature wrinkling and just a general feeling of BLAH. It feels like someone sucked all the energy right out of you.

The Thyroid test is very simple to do. All you do is give a little blood and wait for about 10 for the results to come in.  A normal Thyroid should show result numbers between  0.0 - 3.75.  If your test result numbers fall into the negative area...for example, -2.45...then it is an under active thyroid problem...Hypothyroidism.  If your test result numbers are above 3.75, then you suffer from over active thyroid problems...Hyperthyroidism.

There 3 different treatsments for either of these problems.  I strongly recommend...if you do indead have a Thyroid problem... DO NOT DRINK THE RADIOACTIVE COCKTAIL!  Please make that your very last resort.  They have a pill that you can take on a daily basis. I highly recommend that way of treatment.   I am not saying you have a Thyroid problem...but I do think you should have it checked out. 

And I must say, since I've begun my Thyroid treatment I feel like a new woman!  I feel like I'm 19 again.

I really hope this helps you out some. I know there is nothing worse then feeling your body change and knowing there is something wrong but the Dr.'s are just not listening to you.  Instead they just want to put you on anti-depressants and tell you to deal with it.  

I wish you lots of luck and hang in there. I've been where you are now and believe me..everything is going to work out just fine.

  I,m a swedish guy, of 37. Ican tell when I was about to be 30, I felt a lot of fearness about being older....but I can tell that I just feel better for every year, actually. I do not see mysellf as an ordinary 37 yr old guy, in the normal way, to begin  with I have five kids, four with my x, and my little baby toghteher wiyh my girlfriend, who is 22....  I can say I dont know if I could fit toghteher with an elder woman,  My mind in way of dress etc, are younger, BUT I am still a responsibal man, after my seperation I lived alone with my four kids fulltime, and manage it without larger problems.

I can see that I select sometimes conciusly what I want out of my age, so to say, All my experience, I ve been working with kids also since I was 19, f.i , so i know I sometimes chose, and select what to use of my lifeexperince.  and also I have easy to see new trends and to hang on them, because it makes me intressted.

My musicchoice is mostly like eurodisco,  rave, clubmusic, but I can also listen to old good mike and the mechanics or Toto, etc.

I guess I,m openminded, and I,m not locked up into any special category of generation I think.

But importnat to tell in this, is that I am a caring father and a immiture man that takes care of my girlfriend, and do not cheat and party every night etc.

As my girlfriend are younger I have friends that are both in the 20,s and thoose who are like 35+, and I belive I am just as good to interact with both  of the ages.

There are just something that bothers me, which is my eyelocks wich are starting to hang,  otherwise I,m pleased with my age,and the way I,m handeling it.

What I think could be something that I start bother more about later on is sickness, like cancer, which unfortunatly is a far to common deasease in my family, and also the fear aof getting a heartattack thoug my grandpa passed away only 63 yrs old in a heartattack.

Because then it would mean that I had lived over half of my life already now, and that can sometimes scare me, because I love life, and I intend to be at least 100 yr of age, I,wouldnt be scared of being that old, rather the other way around, be able to see all my grandkids and their familys develope.

To end with, I think that womans are generally more afraid of getting older, because unfortunatly the society tells all womans that you have to look young, with all antischrinkle medicals that sells and so, I think that is verry tragical, so i,m sorry to say it , but I belive men havnt generally got that fear of getting old as womans have.

And ofcourse the biological clock is ticking in another way for womans than for men, but I want to say as an end of this message, dont be afraid of  getting older, mix yuor experince with new thoghts and trends and I think you  will be a openminded and intresting person for all ages.     Please have forgivness against me for my writing, or gramatics, as I said I live in Sweden but , anyway I,m a great fan of dr Phil and I,m  also intressted to discuss with american people, for a change, is intressting to see your point of view of things compared to ours in Europe, scandinavia.

yours Mathias, Swden

I used to work in Nursing homes and love the elderly with all my heart.  I have worked on an alzheimers unit as well.  What little people know about this disease!  they may not know what they ate for breakfast, or recognize faces, and sometimes their bladder and bowels loose control, but they can feel love!  i know this for a fact, and that is why i loved working with them.  the mean ones and the ones who spit and threw things, they all need love.  My main theory behind the way i think of them is this... they have lived obviously alot longer than us, they have every right to feel the way they do, or act the way they want.  i worked there to make the last few years of their life enjoyable and hopefully they felt some love when i cared for them, because i loved them all as if they were my own grandparents.  they may have forgotten who i even was the next day but i loved them and cared for them just the same.  sometimes it is a relief when they do pass, because we do not want to see them suffer.  do not feel sorry for yourself, just do everything in your power to make the last years of any elderly person their best!!!  They deserve it no matter what.  i no longer work in a nursing home because i cannot afford to take care of my family with what i was being paid, but i do love them all with all my heart and will stand up for them for the rest of my life!!!

sorry for any grammer or spelling, but sometimes i get upset thinking about the way the elderly are treated.