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Topic : Are You Afraid to Age?

Number of Replies: 121
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:53:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
They say age is just a number, but many people will do just about anything to stay young. Are you afraid to age? How do you stay young in mind and body?

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June 24, 2007, 9:15 pm CDT

Not where I'm going but how I'll get there

I'm 48 and I've watched my parents grow old and pass on. I noticed how  younger people treat older people; like they are a pain, a nuisance, a burden or hinderance.  Also, I already have many aches and pains.  I can't imagine how I'll feel in a few years from now.  I ask myself: "how much will I suffer?  Will it be cancer, heart desease, kidney failure, a car accident etc.?  Will my family place me a nursing home and forget about me?" I'm divorced and also wonder,  "will I find someone at my age to grow old with me so we can care for eachother?"  I don't know if it's menopause or not, but I've been thinking of this more lately then previously.  It's funny that you have this question posted at this time since it has been on my mind so much lately, I'm trying not to let it depress me.

 
June 29, 2007, 8:21 am CDT

Are You Afraid to Age?

i am afriad of ageing and i am only 28 !

I feel like i wasted my life studying at a university to please my parents

When all i really want to do is act!

i feel like i have spent the last 8 years pleasing my parents and now

when it passed me

I feel depressed since i never did the things i wanted to when i was in my early

20's

its really depressing me like crazy lately

 
June 29, 2007, 7:39 pm CDT

I am 27

Quote From: minniemouse001

i am afriad of ageing and i am only 28 !

I feel like i wasted my life studying at a university to please my parents

When all i really want to do is act!

i feel like i have spent the last 8 years pleasing my parents and now

when it passed me

I feel depressed since i never did the things i wanted to when i was in my early

20's

its really depressing me like crazy lately

Science has proven that with all of the pressures on our generation we are having "quarter-life crises" .  What is it that you feel that you have missed out on?

 
July 4, 2007, 2:29 am CDT

Are You Afraid to Age?

Quote From: maryasmar

I despirately want plastic surgery. Not because I am afraid to age, but because I want to be able to enjoy my life now, at this time.  I have lost over 150 lbs. I hated my body when I was obese and I hid myself away.  Now that I have lost this weight, it is no different. I have so much loose skin that I look deformed, There is no way that I can where shorts or a bathing suit. I cannot even where short sleeved clothes without getting disgusted looks from passerbys. There are many short sleeved clothes that I cannot even fit into because there is too much skin on my upper arms.  I will never be able to afford plastic surgery. What I need is just way too extensive and I can barely make it on my own as is. This is just plain not fair. I lost all that weight, why canI not enjoy my life without it? I don't even know how I will ever find a man that I can be intimate with. I am just disgusting without clothes.

Hey

 

You did good losing all that weight!  I have about 120lbs to lose and I have struggled most of my adult life.  I'm 54 and I too am scared about losing the weight and still having all that loose skin.  However its not just about appearance its about the quality of your life.  Just enjoy going to the movies and fitting comfortably in the seats, seats on buses, planes, carnival rides, seat belts. 

 
July 4, 2007, 2:39 am CDT

Are You Afraid to Age?

Quote From: greenleaf_lisa

I'm 48 and I've watched my parents grow old and pass on. I noticed how  younger people treat older people; like they are a pain, a nuisance, a burden or hinderance.  Also, I already have many aches and pains.  I can't imagine how I'll feel in a few years from now.  I ask myself: "how much will I suffer?  Will it be cancer, heart desease, kidney failure, a car accident etc.?  Will my family place me a nursing home and forget about me?" I'm divorced and also wonder,  "will I find someone at my age to grow old with me so we can care for eachother?"  I don't know if it's menopause or not, but I've been thinking of this more lately then previously.  It's funny that you have this question posted at this time since it has been on my mind so much lately, I'm trying not to let it depress me.

I've lost my parents and grandparents too.  I'm 54 and too have started the wondering about the end of this journey.  "How much will it hurt".  Now its not sure I might die but when and how.  And what about the next 30 years?  What am I going to be doing?  I want to do more, be more.  Find the answers, fix the hurts.  You know.  My perspective on life is changing and there doesn't seem to be anywhere to turn to really get good insight about aging and the stages you grow through.  Its scarey just because its the unknown. 

 
July 4, 2007, 6:41 pm CDT

not much to look forward to

 

I am not looking forward to getting old. I am already half blind and half deaf. I wear hearing aids, and I visit an eye doctor regularly to maintain the health of my remaining eye. I have not as yet given in to things. I still am working a full time job. It's pretty stressful, and is probably working on my long term health.

 

What I'm afraid of, is that once I am old enough to finally retire, and relax, I won't be able to hear or see well at all, and won''t be able to enjoy the "golden years". 

 
July 7, 2007, 10:52 am CDT

reply

Quote From: sunshine80

Science has proven that with all of the pressures on our generation we are having "quarter-life crises" .  What is it that you feel that you have missed out on?

i feel like i have wasted my 21-26 living in fear from rejection

and now when i finally sobered up and opened my eyes

I am sad that I was drinking the fear of nothing away!

Today I know that I was afraid of nothing

I guess I wish i wasn't that afriad before

and now i think that I might have missed out on normal functionable

relationships

I missed out on love cause I choose to be afriad and just drink my fears

away

and i am afriad that my friends aren't the ones that I want around me

I am  afriad that I have been wanting to please my parents since i have moved away from home in my teenages

that i forgot what i wanted along the way

 
July 14, 2007, 1:15 pm CDT

Are you afraid of age?

At 56 the only thing I would wish for is a cure for my husbands incurable brain disease. We are very much in love, have 5 grown children, all of whom we are proud of. We make sure we have a yearly get together and the rest of the time my husband and I travel as soon he will no longer be able to. Our lives have had many ups and downs, and has even gone sideways at times. That is life and we have always found ways to overcome our problems. Even now we continue to live life to its fullest and keep searching for a possible cure.
 
July 17, 2007, 12:15 pm CDT

Fibromyalgia and Aging

  • I am 57 y/o/f/. I have Fibro and therefore I am constantly in pain. I have always looked 20 years younger but due to so much pain I am ageing past my 57 now. I want a face lift and tummy tuck. After two children, my stomach just hangs. I am not ugly by any means, but my husband hasn't touched me intimately in 21/2 years. Talk about insecure!!! I don't want anyone else, I am too afraid to even think of being alone. I am so confused! Linda
 
July 20, 2007, 1:28 pm CDT

Glad to be here

Quote From: valoren

I'm 45 and lucky to be alive.  I was a bit of a wild child in my youth and much of what I did should have killed me, but I'm still here.  I'm struggling with many issues, but age isn't one of them.

 

When I was growing up, the older you were, the more respect you commanded.  I'm a Southern farm kid and was raised to be quiet and listen to my elders.  There are times when that isn't really the appropriate way to treat a child - I was molested for about 14 years and no one would listen or believe because I was a child - but all things considered, it really was better for me to be "seen and not heard".  Had I been a loudmouth, I'd have missed the most wonderful stories, so much family history, and so much laughter from the adults around me.  By keeping quiet and listening, I learned that older people really were wiser than the rest of us and if I really wanted to learn (I wanted to know everything as a child) then I'd listen to my elders.  I'm glad I was raised that way.

 

Now, that having been said, I wanted nothing more as a child than to get old.  I wanted to be one of the wise people, one who was respected.  I knew that I'd only get respect if I got old and wise.  I wanted to be someone others turned to for advice, someone who had, if not all the answers, then at least a lot of them.

 

The older I get, the more respect I get from young people, though not nearly as much as older people got when I was a child.  Still, it's better than what I got when I was a kid.  Young people actually listen to me now.  I'm grateful for that, and grateful that the idiot stunts I tried as a kid didn't kill me.  Every additional year means just a little bit more respect, just a little more knowledge, and a little more wisdom.

 

I still want to know everything, I want to learn learn learn.....I have more books than the law should allow.  Looks be damned, I want to know more about the world, about life.  I don't care about gray hair, wrinkles or saggy boobs, I care what's in my head and my heart.  The rest is just window dressing and almost completely irrelevent to WHO I am. 

 

I'm grateful for every birthday because it means I'm still alive, and as long as I'm alive, I still have a chance to learn and maybe even to grow.  The "growing" part is why I came here.  :-)

 

Maybe that's trite, I don't know.  I do know that it's true.  I want to keep getting older, and I hope someday I'll be as respected as old people were when I was growing up.

 

Valoren

Valoren,

I agree with you and am also happy to be here. I am happy that I have made it to age 44, have a son that is 14 and husband that is still alive. My husband has congestive heart failure and was diagnosed five years ago. The doctor in the hospital told my husband that he would be dead in one year. My prayer at the time was for him to live long enough to see our son grow up. I did not want him to miss out on seeing our son grow up nor did I want my son to not have his dad.

I love them both dearly and am grateful everyday that we are all here and healthy. I care about how I look and am working hard to get back to where I was a few years ago. I had a hysterectomy in 2002, broke my wrist rock climbing in 2003, had major knee surgery in 2004 and a car crash in 2005. I feel as though I have done my share of tales of woe and am ready to regain my health and confidence. I want to be one of those Dr. Phil success stories. You know when he brings people on the show that really want to make changes but, just need help. That's me. In the meantime, I do the best that I can.

I do color my hair, get pedicures and try to take of myself. I have learned that I feel much better when I look better. It is important to me to look good and be good on the inside and out. Some of the time my pedicure is my therapy. I forget about everything and all the stresses. I support the entire family and am really blessed to be able to work and make enough money to pay my bills. We have never moved since the birth of my son. That really matters to me since I was raised by a single parent that was an alcoholic and moved us 13 times in six years. It was hellish. I raised my sisters the best I could while hoping that my mother was ok when she left us for weeks. I was 12 and picking up soda bottles for the deposit money to have money to buy eggs or hotdogs for my sisters for dinner. I have seen hell and been dirt poor. I have worked since I was 16 years old knowing that I did not like being poor the first time around and I would darn sure not like it the second time. Thus, I am blessed that I have not gone back there.

Life is good not always kind or fair but, good. I have my health (sort of), I have my family and I look forward to each day. I have learned as I have gotten older that the cliques that existed in high school that I hated are still there today. They do not go away. I just go away from them. I do not much care for shallow judgemental people. They are cruel and I outran them a long time ago.

I have learned much along this path of life and have learned that you must make your own way. If it works for you and you have passion for whatever you do then you will be happy.

I am thrilled that you don't care about gray hair, saggy boobs and wrinkles. I don't have gray hair thanks to modern technology called hair color. I do have boobs that I was were not going south but, to me that is the price of breastfeeding and I bear it proudly. The wrinkles I have to honestly say have not hit me. I think I am fortunate in that regard. I do have the hips and lots of cellulite. I swear the hips are from the stress of sick husband, working and everything else. I bear them but, not too proudly. I am very self conscious about my weight. I am trying hard to lose it as I said. But, I really do not care what people think about it. As I said, I outran them a long time ago.

Keep living and loving life. Your get only one.
 
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