Message Boards

Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Number of Replies: 188
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:58:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a baby is a major life change and postpartum depression can affect any woman who is pregnant, has had a baby, miscarried, or ended a pregnancy. Share advice and support here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 18, 2007, 11:47 pm CDT

Going through postnatal

About 3 weeks ago i had miscarriage. It was nt nice experience but thanks to supportive friends i understand Gods plan. I find it hard to tell them what im going through now. I suppress my tears and all emotions that goes with it
 
September 18, 2007, 11:48 pm CDT

Going through postnatal

About 3 weeks ago i had miscarriage. It was nt nice experience but thanks to supportive friends i understand Gods plan. I find it hard to tell them what im going through now. I suppress my tears and all emotions that goes with it
 
September 28, 2007, 6:05 pm CDT

Late postpartum

Is that possible?? I have a 9 month old and i feel very lonley and overwhelmed, stressed out confused. She is my first and i love her to death she is my life! But everything happened so fast I don't know if i am having the postpartum i thought it was just to late. i thought that it was everyone else being lazy or mean, or that my family was ganging up on me. but once i sat down and thought about it i realized it was me stressin everyone out and yelling and buggin out about a sock being on the floor. Is this normal? if so how do i deal with this??? Im at my witts end
 
October 2, 2007, 2:28 pm CDT

Congratulations on the birth of your baby

Quote From: lynn143

Is that possible?? I have a 9 month old and i feel very lonley and overwhelmed, stressed out confused. She is my first and i love her to death she is my life! But everything happened so fast I don't know if i am having the postpartum i thought it was just to late. i thought that it was everyone else being lazy or mean, or that my family was ganging up on me. but once i sat down and thought about it i realized it was me stressin everyone out and yelling and buggin out about a sock being on the floor. Is this normal? if so how do i deal with this??? Im at my witts end

What a wonderful thing.  I bet she's totally beautiful.

 

Now.  Down to "business".  It is possible, from what I've been told, to experience those feelings as late as that.  Especially  when you are completely exhausted.  The first, and most important, suggestion I make to you is: go to your doctor and explain how you're feeling.  He is the best judge of whether or not you're depressed.  Try not to be too hard on yourself, with regards to the housework.  It is just housework and can wait for another day to be done.  When your beautiful daughter goes down for a nap, you go for a sleep as well.  It does wonders, trust me.  I always felt better able to deal with things when I went for a sleep at the same time as my son.  We are both still alive because of that.  If I hadn't, I probably would have killed us both I was so very tired.  Ooops. That's a bit morbid.

 

Just, go to the doctor.  He should be able to put you on the right track to recovery. 

 

Good luck.  Take care of yourself.  Your daughter needs you.  Bye from Australia.

 

Ruthieg

 
October 5, 2007, 3:59 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: frazzledmom2

I'm trying to post in post-partum....

Is it possible to feel post-partum towards an adopted child?

My husband and I have two biological children and one adopted. Our adopted child and our oldest are the same age.

I never went through the baby blues with my biological children. Our adopted child, on the other hand... I cannot describe any better what I feel for him then post-partum.

We adopted him when he was 7months old. Both of his parents are deceased. He spent several months in foster care before being placed with us.

I wanted him so badly and was extremely excited to learn that our home study had been accepted and that we were going to be able to adopt him.

A month after he came into our home, I started feeling regret for ever wanting him. He didn't want to be held, touched, nor would he play with us. All he would do is suck a bottle. I told myself that it would get better and, as the monthly visits from the social worker continued, I kept a happy face.

The adoption papers went to the judge and were notarized, sealed and done within 6months. All the while, I felt the same way. How was I going to learn to love a child that wanted nothing to do with me?

As he got older, he wanted to be more apart of our family. He took quickly to my husband and our child of the same age. He still wouldn't have anything to do with me.

Now that he wants my attention, I have none to give him. I feel as if it's too late. I don't like it when he touches me or even when he calls me "mom." Even minute things about him disgust me - I was noticing the shape of his head today and couldn't help but think how odd it was.

It's not just his head or the sound of his voice that makes me cringe. His attitude: he's hard headed and aggressive. He was kicked out of our church's play group for biting and taking toys from the smaller children. I have escorted company out of my house early b/c he seems to get extremely hyper when we have people over (jumping off of the furniture, biting the guests when they try to play with him, and I swear he gives me the "I don't care what you say, I'm doing it anyway" evil eye). I have had people refuse to keep him b/c he is so hyper.

My biological children - yeah, they're your typical kids and have their moments when you feel like burying your head in the sand, but they're good kids. They are invited to all kid events (our adopted is normally excluded or we're told if we have to bring him, do so). One loves to read and will build with his blocks all day long. The other is into music and being outside. Neither have had a bad report from daycare.

I know our adopted child is not a bad kid and I know that I am not a bad mother. But the feelings I have for this kid are sometimes right out scary. Today, he burned himself. I kept telling him to stay out of the kitchen - out of the kitchen! The phone rang, and he pulled down a pot of water on his head. Luckily it wasn't boiling, but it was hot enough to make his skin break out in little ride bumps. Instead of being concerned like any parent would be, I was angry that I had to restart dinner. I put some burn gel on him and called the doctor, then went back to cooking, all the while blaming him for a late dinner. After dinner, we went to the pharmacy to pick up the cream the doc called in. I was so ashamed of my kid that I didn't want to bring him in (I did as the weather is warm, but b/c I was afraid of getting into trouble, not b/c I wanted him with me). I've told my husband that I don't feel like I can be left alone with him any longer then necessary - if he is going to be late from work, he can meet us for dinner at the local McDonald's playground - that way he is out of my hair.

I have never had a negative nerve in my body towards my biological children. They are my sunshines; my worlds. I would die if anyone ever tried to take them from me. But my adopted son... sometimes I wish his parents were still alive and would come back for him. To me, he feels like an extra table setting or another bedroom to clean. B/c of his "playful aggression" I won't let him be alone with our younger child. I don't trust him. I'm so afraid someone is going to find out that I have these regrets and try to take my biological children, calling me mental or whatever, that I almost rescent the power this little adopted boy has over our family.

I wanted to do right... But now I am just trying to cope.

that's pretty messed up. you need help
 
October 9, 2007, 4:17 pm CDT

I know how it feels

I had two children back to back (they are a year and 18 days apart). When my second one was born, I didn't want anything to do with her. In fact,  I didn't change her diaper for a good 3 weeks. I would have nightmares and vision like feelings of killing her. I remember one night the dream was so real that I jumped up from bed and shook her awake to just to make sure she wasn't dead. I was embarrased. I pretended to like her. It took me a good six months to finally started to bond with her. I was never on medication, but slowly things started to go back to normal. I started to bond with her, but I strongly believe PPD is real and need to be treated. Why suffer through it??

 

Now, my daughter is 3 and son is 4 and they are the blessings of my life.

 
October 21, 2007, 8:22 pm CDT

Help.

Quote From: lizzylizzliz

that's pretty messed up. you need help

Well instead of telling you how messed up you are and how you need help.  I would like to lend an ear to you.  I can't say that I completely understand what you are going through, but I get you.  You started out wanting this baby and wanting to help him and love him, but all he did was reject you.  Rejection hurts, but kids are smart....even babies.  A child can sense your mood even if you are trying not to show it.  Your adopted child has gone through a lot already in such a small time.  A baby knows it's mother from the womb, it knows how she smells, sounds, laughs.  So you can imagine how this baby felt being safe in his mothers care, being born and brought into the big world, losing his parents being placed with strangers and in all this confusion, more strangers have taken him.  Now he just wants to suck on his bottle because that is the only comfort he has....the only thing that has been constant for him, the only thing that is a sure thing.  He doesn't want to be held because he feels out of place and scared. 

  Try changing your mood around him, and how you act towards him.  He isn't acting up....he is acting out, he just wants attention and even if the attention is negative....at least its attention.  I hope you continue to try to overcome this.  It helps having someone to talk to.  Try to get council from someone not in your life.  Someone who can help you make sense of all this.  I wouldn't call this post pardum depression.....I would call it resentment.  I am in no way shape or form a dr. but I am a mother and a friend.

 
October 21, 2007, 11:37 pm CDT

bad situation

i am not sure that i got PPD but it seemed getting worse now my baby girl 7months old and she isquite slow weight gain and that makes me so much more worried also my situation is so badly in the house when my husband son comes over and stays with us so quick

i could not coping becuase i just feel he is interfering my family right now

he is in thehouse and do nothing (he is 17 yrs) we nearly broke up many times because of i am so depressed and jeliousy about his son

i went to see doctor and got anti-depression but it seems not working at all

i dont knot what i can do and seems no one understand me at all!!

 

pat

 
October 26, 2007, 10:31 pm CDT

9 years later...

Quote From: kelly661

Hi!

I have struggles with PPD for three and a half years now.  After my first daughter was born, I was diagnosed with PPD.  I took medications and was fine.  It took me 10 months to get the courage to go to the doctor. 

After my second daughter was born, I was back on the medication but it didn't work.  They even doubled the dose.  I have now been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (their births were both c-sections. There is more to the story but it is very long!).   I have no idea how to get over this.  I am trying!  I have weeks where I can't do anything.  I don't want to get out of bed.  I am having suicidal thoughts but wouldn't actually do it (I don't think).  I want to see my kids grow up.  Thanks for listening!

 

 

My wife suffered from PPD 9 years ago when my daughter was born. We've had virtually no sex life since then. She's on medication but isn't interested in sex or in my sex life. I don't know what to do. I'm here now because I won't leave my daughter to be raised by my wife. I'm as lonely as I can be, sexually frustrated and other women all look great now. 9 years is a long time to be rejected sexually. I'm glad to read that my wife isn't the only one who is experiencing PPD so long after the birth. She had a C-section, also.
 
October 30, 2007, 7:58 pm CDT

this is complicated

Quote From: thewholetruth

My wife suffered from PPD 9 years ago when my daughter was born. We've had virtually no sex life since then. She's on medication but isn't interested in sex or in my sex life. I don't know what to do. I'm here now because I won't leave my daughter to be raised by my wife. I'm as lonely as I can be, sexually frustrated and other women all look great now. 9 years is a long time to be rejected sexually. I'm glad to read that my wife isn't the only one who is experiencing PPD so long after the birth. She had a C-section, also.
I suffered from PPD after the birth of my first son. That was 31 years ago. After the first two years I ended up hospitalized in a very severe depression and became totally dysfunctional. I continued to suffer with anxiety and depression over the next 30 years. It's so hard to give advice because I know the difficulties your wife is dealing with and I also understand what it's doing to you. It might help to know that she did not choose this. Her body sufferes from chemical imbalances and I'm sure she would rather live a different way. As a general rule 99% of the time when a depression lasts that long there's more going on than just PPD. It would be a good idea to have her tested for a mood disorder or other type of disorder as well. After 30 years on medications for my disorder I have found some very nice holistic remedies. The up and coming trends are Craniosacral healing, Reikki, Mind & Body therapies and accupuncture is wonderful too! I am currently medication free and holding my own with the help of alternative healing. Some of the depression mediations will cause sexual side affects, not to mention that depression itself causes low sex drive. It can take many different types of programs to pull it all together. No one therapy is the solution to it all. They all have there benefits. She needs to seek out and bring into her life as many support systems as possible. It's a lot of work and if you can support her that would be wonderful. It takes a very loving and understanding person to help someone through this. Your the only who knows if it's something you can handle or not. I won't lie, it's not easy and I can certainly understand your frustration. You need your own support system as well. Believe me seek out as many programs and support groups as you can. One of them is going to turn this around for both of you.
 
First | Prev | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Next | Last