Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Hi, I'm a 29 year old married mom of 2, my oldest is 17 months and I have a 7 week old as well.  I'm about to go back to work after maternity leave and for the past few days I have been feeling very, well, I guess the best word to describe it is flat and hopeless.  It only seems to hit me at night, after the kids are asleep and my husband and I are watching TV at night. Then it feels like this black cloud just rolls in over me and then I start to panic because I can't shake the feeling off.  I am by nature a very upbeat, happy person and it freaks me out to have these hopeless feelings and not be able to "snap out of it".  After I get some sleep and as long as I keep busy, it seems to go away but then like clockwork it comes back every night.  I miss being happy most of the time!  I guess I have a lot of contributing factors to this, I'm active duty military stationed overseas away from all of my family and friends so it feels very isolating sometimes but STILL, we've been here almost 2 years and I haven't felt this way before.  Any ideas on how to shake this?  I'm getting a little desperate here.  And is this PPD or just a moderate case of baby blues?  I don't know....I am reluctant to go to the doctor about it because I don't want to just be thrown on some medication to deal with this that I may not need....any tips from other moms who have felt like this?  I have a loving husband and two BEAUTIFUL children and I am very blessed, I know this, but that hopeless feeling really bothers me when it comes.   I think it will probably get better when I go back to work and the gym and keep busy...sometimes just venting helps.  Anyway, thanks for the input anybody!

Hi, I'm a 29 year old married mom of 2, my oldest is 17 months and I have a 7 week old as well.  I'm about to go back to work after maternity leave and for the past few days I have been feeling very, well, I guess the best word to describe it is flat and hopeless.  It only seems to hit me at night, after the kids are asleep and my husband and I are watching TV at night. Then it feels like this black cloud just rolls in over me and then I start to panic because I can't shake the feeling off.  I am by nature a very upbeat, happy person and it freaks me out to have these hopeless feelings and not be able to "snap out of it".  After I get some sleep and as long as I keep busy, it seems to go away but then like clockwork it comes back every night.  I miss being happy most of the time!  I guess I have a lot of contributing factors to this, I'm active duty military stationed overseas away from all of my family and friends so it feels very isolating sometimes but STILL, we've been here almost 2 years and I haven't felt this way before.  Any ideas on how to shake this?  I'm getting a little desperate here.  And is this PPD or just a moderate case of baby blues?  I don't know....I am reluctant to go to the doctor about it because I don't want to just be thrown on some medication to deal with this that I may not need....any tips from other moms who have felt like this?  I have a loving husband and two BEAUTIFUL children and I am very blessed, I know this, but that hopeless feeling really bothers me when it comes.   I think it will probably get better when I go back to work and the gym and keep busy...sometimes just venting helps.  Anyway, thanks for the input anybody!

Congratulations for the work you're doing.  Your children are very close together in age, so it's really no wonder you feel like that at the end of a day.  You are completely exhausted and away from your extended family and friends.  Do you have a support network set up where you're working?  Are you able to leave the kids and go for a walk on your own for a little while?

I would suggest you go to a doctor and tell them how you're feeling.  You might not need medicating, but wouldn't you rather know for sure?  You owe it to yourself to make sure you're okay.  The feelings do pass.  I had Post-Natal Depression 6 years ago with my first child.  I also recovered after about 12 months.  It's possible that once you go back to your paid job, your feelings will change, without the need for medication.

He is a wonderful, precocious boy who started his first year at Grade School this year.  I also have two other children, a girl who's 3 and a baby boy who's 6 months old.  They are the light of my life and keep me going when my eldest is driving me up the wall, lolz.

Here's something else that was suggested to me, but I couldn't do it.  Lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour with your favourite music and some aromatherapy oils, and have a bath to relax(that is, of course, if  you have a bathtub).  Leave your children in the care of a capable adult, if your husband is unavailable, and just unwind.  Pamper yourself for a change.  You deserve it.

Keep up the good work, wherever you are.  Take care.  Bye from Australia

Ruthieg

Thanks for the tips, I just called and made an appointment with my doctor after reading your post.

I DO have somewhat of a support network here but it's kind of wierd because I don't feel like I can ask people for things (like watching the kids) that I would if I were back home.  Most of my friends here are wives of active duty members and have their hands full with their own kids.   I guess I'm lucky that I'm active duty too and once I go back to work the kids be in daycare here on base and I can just go straight to the gym after work and not feel guilty about leaving them.  As much as I miss my kids when I'm at work, that is one benefit that I get, consistent daycare for them.

Good idea on the bath, I think I'll make my husband watch them when he gets home tonight and pamper myself a bit if I can shut out the noise of the kids.  I kind of feel guilty about needing time to myself, is that wierd? 

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.  By the way, I'm stationed in Japan, a long way from home in Missouri.  My guess is that's a big part of my problem.  It's nice to have this as an outlet though. 

Take care, and congrats on the beautiful kids.  I would never change it, I do love being a mom.  In fact, my little girl Madison is walking around in my shoes right now and that always makes me smile.  I think I'll go play with her, she always cheers me up.  The baby (a boy, Brady) is actually sleeping right now so that's kind of nice for me to get to spend time alone with my big girl, she needs some exclusive mommy time.  I guess sometimes I need to step back and count my blessings.

I can only suggest this, but I don't think you should have more children.  Not until you can get yourself sorted out.  If you can afford it, go to another doctor.  Get a second opinion, that is your right. 

Your family probably don't know the extent of how you're feeling.  Or they just don't know how to deal with it.  Boyfriend can wait for more children.  I say, if he wants more then he go through the process of being pregnant and delivering a child, then see how willing he is to have more kids, tee hee.  I've noticed that about men.  They are more than willing to be there for the conception part of it all, but once baby's born and the real work begins, they disappear.  So just relax, take it easy and take care of yourself.  You have a beautiful daughter who needs you, so you need to take care of you.

I'm rambling now, so I'll finish up before my reply gets lost in all the words.  Take care.  Bye from Australia.

Ruthieg