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Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Number of Replies: 188
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:58:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a baby is a major life change and postpartum depression can affect any woman who is pregnant, has had a baby, miscarried, or ended a pregnancy. Share advice and support here.

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March 1, 2007, 2:05 pm CST

I'm glad I was able to help

Quote From: activedutymom

Thanks for the tips, I just called and made an appointment with my doctor after reading your post.

 

I DO have somewhat of a support network here but it's kind of wierd because I don't feel like I can ask people for things (like watching the kids) that I would if I were back home.  Most of my friends here are wives of active duty members and have their hands full with their own kids.   I guess I'm lucky that I'm active duty too and once I go back to work the kids be in daycare here on base and I can just go straight to the gym after work and not feel guilty about leaving them.  As much as I miss my kids when I'm at work, that is one benefit that I get, consistent daycare for them.

 

Good idea on the bath, I think I'll make my husband watch them when he gets home tonight and pamper myself a bit if I can shut out the noise of the kids.  I kind of feel guilty about needing time to myself, is that wierd? 

 

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.  By the way, I'm stationed in Japan, a long way from home in Missouri.  My guess is that's a big part of my problem.  It's nice to have this as an outlet though. 

 

Take care, and congrats on the beautiful kids.  I would never change it, I do love being a mom.  In fact, my little girl Madison is walking around in my shoes right now and that always makes me smile.  I think I'll go play with her, she always cheers me up.  The baby (a boy, Brady) is actually sleeping right now so that's kind of nice for me to get to spend time alone with my big girl, she needs some exclusive mommy time.  I guess sometimes I need to step back and count my blessings.

 

It's good that you're going to see a doctor.  You never know, he/she might say you don't need meds.

 

I know what you mean about asking people for things.  I'm a bit that way myself.  That actually happened to me just a couple of weeks ago.  My eldest had got me so frustrated that I was crying into my sink.  Tragic.  My point is, with all those dramas, even with my family reasonably close by, I felt like there was no-one I could call for a bit of relief.

 

Your husband should spend some time with the kids.  They're his kids too, after all.  It's not weird to feel a little bit of guilt.  But, in the words of Dr.Phil, you need to take care of your children's mother. 

 

Children have a wonderful way of making us smile, don't they?  They have such innocence and joy at the most seemingly insignificant things.  Maybe it's time we all went and played dress-ups with the kids for a while.  Go have some fun.

 

Take care.  Bye from Australia.

 

Ruthieg

 Hooroo Australian Flag Family Portrait Military 





 
March 11, 2007, 12:45 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

I don't know what to do anymore...My daughter is almost 2 and I can't deal with this depression I'm feeling anymore...I have seen my doctor and he just tells me that its normal and he isnt even going to look into it.  I went to an emergency walk in clinic the day before yesterday and broke down so hard I could hardly talk and the doctor just seemed so uncomfortable that he couldn't wait for me to leave...He gave me a prescription for something to calm my nerves and told me to call my doctor for a thyroid test-WHICH I had been asking for for two years. I can't talk to anybody, family and friends think it's funny "oh you just worry too much, teehee."  I feel like nobody caes about me and they are making it seem like it's my imagination.  And my boyfriend wants another baby?  Here I am wishing I could just die so my head would shut up and he wants another baby?  I dont know whatto do anymore.
 
March 11, 2007, 4:15 pm CDT

It's not time for you to have another baby

Quote From: curly1

I don't know what to do anymore...My daughter is almost 2 and I can't deal with this depression I'm feeling anymore...I have seen my doctor and he just tells me that its normal and he isnt even going to look into it.  I went to an emergency walk in clinic the day before yesterday and broke down so hard I could hardly talk and the doctor just seemed so uncomfortable that he couldn't wait for me to leave...He gave me a prescription for something to calm my nerves and told me to call my doctor for a thyroid test-WHICH I had been asking for for two years. I can't talk to anybody, family and friends think it's funny "oh you just worry too much, teehee."  I feel like nobody caes about me and they are making it seem like it's my imagination.  And my boyfriend wants another baby?  Here I am wishing I could just die so my head would shut up and he wants another baby?  I dont know whatto do anymore.

I can only suggest this, but I don't think you should have more children.  Not until you can get yourself sorted out.  If you can afford it, go to another doctor.  Get a second opinion, that is your right. 

 

Your family probably don't know the extent of how you're feeling.  Or they just don't know how to deal with it.  Boyfriend can wait for more children.  I say, if he wants more then he go through the process of being pregnant and delivering a child, then see how willing he is to have more kids, tee hee.  I've noticed that about men.  They are more than willing to be there for the conception part of it all, but once baby's born and the real work begins, they disappear.  So just relax, take it easy and take care of yourself.  You have a beautiful daughter who needs you, so you need to take care of you.

 

I'm rambling now, so I'll finish up before my reply gets lost in all the words.  Take care.  Bye from Australia.

 

Ruthieg

 Australian Flag Hooroo Family Portrait 





 
March 11, 2007, 7:27 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: ruthieg

I can only suggest this, but I don't think you should have more children.  Not until you can get yourself sorted out.  If you can afford it, go to another doctor.  Get a second opinion, that is your right. 

 

Your family probably don't know the extent of how you're feeling.  Or they just don't know how to deal with it.  Boyfriend can wait for more children.  I say, if he wants more then he go through the process of being pregnant and delivering a child, then see how willing he is to have more kids, tee hee.  I've noticed that about men.  They are more than willing to be there for the conception part of it all, but once baby's born and the real work begins, they disappear.  So just relax, take it easy and take care of yourself.  You have a beautiful daughter who needs you, so you need to take care of you.

 

I'm rambling now, so I'll finish up before my reply gets lost in all the words.  Take care.  Bye from Australia.

 

Ruthieg

 Australian Flag Hooroo Family Portrait 





OH, BELEIVE ME....More children are NOT an option
 
March 12, 2007, 11:17 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: curly1

I don't know what to do anymore...My daughter is almost 2 and I can't deal with this depression I'm feeling anymore...I have seen my doctor and he just tells me that its normal and he isnt even going to look into it.  I went to an emergency walk in clinic the day before yesterday and broke down so hard I could hardly talk and the doctor just seemed so uncomfortable that he couldn't wait for me to leave...He gave me a prescription for something to calm my nerves and told me to call my doctor for a thyroid test-WHICH I had been asking for for two years. I can't talk to anybody, family and friends think it's funny "oh you just worry too much, teehee."  I feel like nobody caes about me and they are making it seem like it's my imagination.  And my boyfriend wants another baby?  Here I am wishing I could just die so my head would shut up and he wants another baby?  I dont know whatto do anymore.
You need a professional now! I mean this....this isn't normal, this isn't funny, this isn't anything other than an illness that needs to be tended to.

And I'm glad you don't want another baby...don't do it. You do NOT need that right now. A new baby does not need that right now. Your 2 year old does not need that right now.

You need to get yourself to a therapist yesterday. You need to find someone to take you seriously. I can't believe how horribly you are being treated. Get this taken care of TODAY please! Call a therapist, get an appt asap! You owe this to not only yourself, but your little girl who is missing out on having a healthy mom to be with her and teach her and guide her.

Seriously..tell your boyfriend that you are still in recovery from the first kid. And maybe, if you are like me at all, you shouldn't try this again. Despite what the world will have women believe not ALL women are cut out for multiple kids!!! I know I am personally only having one, and that's ok because I'm not cut out to have more.

Good luck, please keep me posted...and please PLEASE make a phone call, make YOUR mental health a priority. Call a therapist, make that appt and tell your friends and family to stop laughing at your pain! Tell your boyfriend you aren't a baby making machine! TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST, because if you aren't healthy then you can't care for your daughter fully...and you BOTH deserve a FULL and HEALTHY relationship.
 
March 20, 2007, 4:17 pm CDT

wonderful site

I't really great to be able to read other womens experiences with postnatal depression. Noone really understands until they have been through this. I was a little angry at one of the replies to a message i read, the person was suggesting to this women that it had been so long that she was diagnosed with depression that she should be moving past it!!!! This is not something that just goes away....it takes time,healing. Suggesting someone should just get over it is not helpful. I have been lucky that i have had o wonderful mental health nurse to help me through this difficult time. Soooo many factors contribute to the depression, I had sign's during pregnancy, a time which shouldv been a joyful event turned sour! Babies hey, they not only change our body shape but our minds as well. 
 
March 20, 2007, 4:34 pm CDT

Hang In there!

Quote From: curly1

I don't know what to do anymore...My daughter is almost 2 and I can't deal with this depression I'm feeling anymore...I have seen my doctor and he just tells me that its normal and he isnt even going to look into it.  I went to an emergency walk in clinic the day before yesterday and broke down so hard I could hardly talk and the doctor just seemed so uncomfortable that he couldn't wait for me to leave...He gave me a prescription for something to calm my nerves and told me to call my doctor for a thyroid test-WHICH I had been asking for for two years. I can't talk to anybody, family and friends think it's funny "oh you just worry too much, teehee."  I feel like nobody caes about me and they are making it seem like it's my imagination.  And my boyfriend wants another baby?  Here I am wishing I could just die so my head would shut up and he wants another baby?  I dont know whatto do anymore.
There are so many women who visit this site that know exactly how you feel. In the darkness it is hard to see light but there is light through it all. The fog clouds our judgement and it is hard to think clearly. Please seek another doctor, the doctor i see is actually trained in counselling so he is helpful to see, or perhaps even see a female doctor, i think guys just dont get it.  Perhaps you could give your boyfriend & family some info on postnatal depression! I believe alot of it is circumstances, how's your relationship with your fella. My relationship is going through some tough times and it adds to my anxiety. Hang in there people do care. 
 
March 21, 2007, 2:55 pm CDT

HELP

 I am in urgent need of referral! My daughter was diagnosed with post partum depression after the birth of her last child 2 years ago. Since then, she has been suffled around to so many doctors and her medication changed that at this point we are not even sure what is causing her illnesses. She can't hardly function, she has migraines, she feels that every step she takes is one of sheer will. Since the birth of her child she has had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids. Prior to that surgery she had to have endometrial ablasion surgery because since the birth of her daughter she would not quit spotting. Please, if anybody out there has a bell ringing about where to direct us to finally find out what is wrong I would greatly appreciate it. My daughter is only 26.

 
March 22, 2007, 2:25 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: njs4827

 I am in urgent need of referral! My daughter was diagnosed with post partum depression after the birth of her last child 2 years ago. Since then, she has been suffled around to so many doctors and her medication changed that at this point we are not even sure what is causing her illnesses. She can't hardly function, she has migraines, she feels that every step she takes is one of sheer will. Since the birth of her child she has had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids. Prior to that surgery she had to have endometrial ablasion surgery because since the birth of her daughter she would not quit spotting. Please, if anybody out there has a bell ringing about where to direct us to finally find out what is wrong I would greatly appreciate it. My daughter is only 26.

 The only thing I can think is that she needs to get one Dr and stick with that Dr. She needs someone to work with her for the long term as a therapist and as a provider of Meds. She needs to find someone and stick with them because a lot of things get lost when being shuffled about to Dr.s

She needs someone to observe her for a longer period of time than just a few weeks or months.
 
March 25, 2007, 12:29 am CDT

A few questions

Quote From: njs4827

 I am in urgent need of referral! My daughter was diagnosed with post partum depression after the birth of her last child 2 years ago. Since then, she has been suffled around to so many doctors and her medication changed that at this point we are not even sure what is causing her illnesses. She can't hardly function, she has migraines, she feels that every step she takes is one of sheer will. Since the birth of her child she has had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids. Prior to that surgery she had to have endometrial ablasion surgery because since the birth of her daughter she would not quit spotting. Please, if anybody out there has a bell ringing about where to direct us to finally find out what is wrong I would greatly appreciate it. My daughter is only 26.

When your duaghter had the hystorectomy, did they remove her ovaries also?  I am 36 and had a hystorectomy a little over a year ago. I ask about her ovaries because having them removed can make a huge difference in your daughters life.

 

Since your daughter has gone through all these operations, has any Dr. checked her Hormone levels or done a Thyroid test on her?  Have you noticed your daughters sleeping habits changing, eating habits changing, any change in weight lose or weight gain?

 

I know all these questions may seem dumb and anoying to you but after my hystorecomy I suffered from the same things you describe about your daughter.  I was placed on several different anti-depressants over time and nothing seemed to help me...in fact, they only made me worse.  I complained to my Dr. so much that a couple of months ago he finaly ordered a Thyroid test for me.  I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism.

 

I am not saying your daughter is suffering from a Thyroid problem but my Dr. explained to me that Thyroid problems can cause a huge range of problems.  Some of the symptoms are...constant headaches, change in sleep patterns, night sweats, hot flashes, change in weight lose or gain, change in eating habits, very bad mood swings, depression, lose of energy, sweaty hands and feet. Basicly you feel like your whole body has turned on you and you don't feel any control over anything anymore. 

 

Also, having a hystorectomy is a very shocking event to a woman. I remember for about 6 or 7 months after having my operation I felt very bad about having it done. I kept second guessing myself..wondering if I had made the right choice. I felt like what truely made me a woman was taken from me.  I wish I could give you more help ....and I'm not even sure if this will help you...  But I do hope it does.  I feel for you and your daughter greatly.  If you can give me some answers to the questions above I might be able to give you some better advice.  I have a wonderful Dr. and I can take some of this information to him and see if he can give a recommendation of what you should do.  I more thing, what State do you live in?  Maybe my Dr. can help find you a good specialist in your area.  It's worth a shot anyway.

 
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