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Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Number of Replies: 188
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Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:58:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a baby is a major life change and postpartum depression can affect any woman who is pregnant, has had a baby, miscarried, or ended a pregnancy. Share advice and support here.

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January 27, 2009, 5:49 pm CST

Not sure

I dont know if I have ppd or not. My daughter just turned 2 years old in September. I am so stressed out all the time and most of the time I dont know what to do with my daughter. Sometimes I dont even want to be in the same room as her because it is so stressful. I try to get a break in when my husband gets home but he always tries to pawn her off on me. Like when I try to take a shower I cant even do that by myself. I dont even have 5 minutes alone to be by myself. Sometimes I feel like I am a bad mother because I dont want to be around her all the time and because I dont know what to do with her. Its not that I dont love her because I love her with all my heart I just cant deal with her sometimes.

 
February 15, 2009, 7:51 pm CST

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

I have a son now who is almost 6 months old.  I am a stay at home mom and with him 24/7, and it does start to get to you.  I watch my husband leave everyday for work, and I wish I could sometimes have that life rather than being the parent home all the time. I think every parent needs to make time for themselves.  As a parent you want to be the best parent you can for your child, and if your stressed out or fustrated you can't do that.  I try and make time to once a month to find an over night baby sitter so I can go out to dinner then go get a drink at the local bar with a couple of my closest friends.  You'd be surprised how much just onenight devoted to yourself would make you feel. I'd suggest atleast one night a month to do something for yourself whether its a pedicure, movie, dinner, or whatever you like to do that helps you relax!
 
April 1, 2009, 3:15 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: restaur

I see this will be a topic on an upcoming show.  I hope you read my comment, Dr. Phil.

 

Here it follows:

 

I hope any person would agree the same understanding hold with women dating younger men,

as it does with men dating younger women.  How could one approve of one relationship between

two people, but not the other?

 

I believe that whatever the age difference between two people be, it be only a matter of what is

acceptable legally.  I would be amazed to hear the results of the poll you took with this did not

turn out a high percentage of people in favor of women dating younger men.  Those who do

disagree are either a disgruntled men in life, or a 'dark age' females taking the poll.  I think if

two people are fond of each other, enjoy each other's company, feel emotionally and sexually

compatible...GO FOR IT.  I dated a man who was fourteen years my senior one time.  We got

along great.  He was 32, and I was 18 at the time.  I also had a relationship with a fellow who

was 12 years younger than me.  Each was warranted as a fine time together.  I have seen

both sides, in other words.  It should only be acceptable for both genders.  Not one person

could give me a good reason otherwise...

I do have the same feeling towards women dating younger men  as I do men dating younger women.  I believe there is only so much you can have in common with a person with a great age difference either older or younger.  I noticed you said that you DATED, as in the past.  Doesn't sound like either relationship worked out.  I do feel that a few years either way does work out, but if you get to big of a difference, it usually doesn't work out.
 
April 7, 2009, 10:50 am CDT

My Story

I was always a good child, and always tried extra hard to make my parents proud. I was taught from a very early age the importance of manners, being well-behaved, the importance of an education beyond high school, and to hold high respect for not only other people, but for myself. I was a very intelligent young woman with a bright future ahead of her. My mother always told her friends at work about how I was going to college to get my master's in nursing and was going to be the first of our family to graduate college with a solid degree. I worked full-time as a certified nursing assistant during my senior year of high school and also went to school full-time. I graduated with an academic honors diploma(the highest diploma you could receive from high school) and was accepted to a small, but legitimate university. I planned on working hard and showing everyone how I could make them all proud. My freshman year of college was everything short of making anyone proud. This new-found freedom I had was the best thing I thought life had to offer. I partied with my boyfriend and my friends, and rarely went to my classes. I got mononucleosis a month after I started college and had to drop my favorite class, Anatomy I. Two months later, my boyfriend left me for another girl, and I continued to fail my classes. I was at rock-bottom or so I thought and slowly, with the help of my friends, got my life back. A month after that, my boyfriend and I got back together and everything was ok until he continued to speak to girls whom I had no idea he still had feelings for. The month after that devastating discovery I found out I was pregnant. I was more scared than anything. I was scared of the disappointment that would follow me when I would return home and the disproval of everyone. I felt that I had really done it this time and what else would come my way, thinking this is the worst possible scenario.

 

Now, a year later, I think to myself, "What in the world was I so worried about?!" I have made it through and am working even harder to make my life better. My daughter was born October 9, 2008 and she was almost 6 weeks early. She is the most amazing child in the world. I love her so much. Most of you are thinking, okay, get to the depression part...

But, I was always afraid to tell anyone what I was feeling after having my baby. I was written off by my mother. She said that I don't need any kind of pill to help me cope with the everyday struggles because it is just motherhood. I believed that until one day, I held my daughter and thought oh my gosh, what has my life become? Why am I, a 19 year-old college student, having to take on this responsibility and not being able to enjoy life? I finally understood that the consequences of sex are much more than having a baby. It takes so much more than physical work to care for a baby. I grew up so quickly that I didn't have much of a choice. I have been through so much in such a short period of time and that makes me so sad. I am not regretful for having my daughter, because I believe she has made me a stronger and better person. I live my life for me and that little girl only. I have learned that the easy way is never the way out. You can only learn from your actions and grow from them. I do not like the word "mistake" because I don't consider my daughter a mistake. She is the reason I wake up in the morning to go to work. Even on the worst of days, I think to myself, "Would my life be any better without her?" And the answer is NO. She is here because of the mistake that I made. She is and never will be referred to as a mistake.

I think a lot of my depression stems from family members. Have you noticed that our biggest competition lies within our own families? I have never heard such ludicrous statements from friends as I have heard from my own family members. No one seemed to think I was capable of raising a daughter, and that hurt me a lot. The people I turned to for support were the ones bashing me behind my back. They have all been guilty of calling me a bad mother for no apparent reason. My mother told me that I do a million times better than she thought I ever would do.

What mother says that? I guess I am just having a hard time accepting that this is my life now, and I have to deal with it the best I can. I just got a full-time job, and am going to school this summer. I am also engaged to my daughter's father and we are going on two years. I just wish I knew why I felt so down all of the time. I think it has to do with a lot of underlying issues that may or may not be relevant to my depression. I just wish that PPD was not looked down upon so much. Is it so horrible that some of us really are having a tough time adjusting?

 
June 12, 2009, 9:16 am CDT

Wake up call

I decided it was time to take myself off of my anti-depressant (Celexa). I had been taking it for over 12 years and with moving to my dream house, in my dream town, with the dream school for my son, I thought it was time to really face life without chemical help. So right after Thanksgiving, I slowly weaned myself off the drugs. I discussed it with my doctor and my family so everyone was onboard to keep an eye on me. And there were a few rough patches but mostly okay. I was pretty confident that I was going to be able to live without medication. Then my husband's company planned their annual victory event in Bora, Bora. While part of me was excited, the other part of me went into tailspin. I started having dark thoughts of leaving and never coming home. I envisioned my son having to grow up alone. I took some action against those thoughts, putting everything in order and making sure people knew my wishes (just in case). And I even looked forward to going. We got to the hotel finally (a total of 15 hours fly time) and I was okay until I woke up in the middle of the night. My heart was pounding and my skin felt too tight. There was this metallic taste in my mouth I recognized....pure adrenyline. We missed the first organized event, I covered it up by saying I hungover from too much wine and jetlagged. Finally by lunch time I was back to normal. I got through the rest of the day and that night...I woke up 3 a.m. (Bora Bora time) again but just woke up not heart pounding. We did stuff and hung out and were having a wonderful time. Then after lunch we were back in our room and BLAMMO....there it was again. I was a mess. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving the room. My husband ran me a hot bath and I took a sleeping pill, which finally calmed me down. We had to leave a day early because I knew I just couldn't go through another attack like that in the middle of nowhere. Once we got on our way, I felt better. I knew I was going to go home. All was well till we landed in L.A. I got to take and shower and then the feelings came back. That's when I decided enough is enough. I had these feelings before, I knew what it was. Depression isn't just feeling sad. It's feeling lost and unsettled. It's like you can't be in your own skin. So I called my doctor and had her phone in my meds to my pharmacy at home. Again, by taking action I started to feel better. I took half a sleeping pill to pull the edge off my anxiety (not something I recommend but it was the best I could do in a pinch). So now I'm home in my comfort zone. I started my meds yesterday and I know it may take days for them to truly kick in but I'm doing better. Part of me feels like a failure for not being able to handle things better. I'm worried about what the people at my husband's company are going to think of me. But compared to how I was feeling? I'll take the embarrassment. Of course I share it here...My family (Mom, Sisters) have no clue. Ever since I had my first public situation 13 years ago, they all consider me 'fragile.' My husband makes the point that I so often have said, would I deny a diabetic insulin? So I'm back on my meds and I may gain back the weight I lost and my sleep may be wacky for a while, but it beats the alternative.
 
June 12, 2009, 9:20 am CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: philbe63

I decided it was time to take myself off of my anti-depressant (Celexa). I had been taking it for over 12 years and with moving to my dream house, in my dream town, with the dream school for my son, I thought it was time to really face life without chemical help. So right after Thanksgiving, I slowly weaned myself off the drugs. I discussed it with my doctor and my family so everyone was onboard to keep an eye on me. And there were a few rough patches but mostly okay. I was pretty confident that I was going to be able to live without medication. Then my husband's company planned their annual victory event in Bora, Bora. While part of me was excited, the other part of me went into tailspin. I started having dark thoughts of leaving and never coming home. I envisioned my son having to grow up alone. I took some action against those thoughts, putting everything in order and making sure people knew my wishes (just in case). And I even looked forward to going. We got to the hotel finally (a total of 15 hours fly time) and I was okay until I woke up in the middle of the night. My heart was pounding and my skin felt too tight. There was this metallic taste in my mouth I recognized....pure adrenyline. We missed the first organized event, I covered it up by saying I hungover from too much wine and jetlagged. Finally by lunch time I was back to normal. I got through the rest of the day and that night...I woke up 3 a.m. (Bora Bora time) again but just woke up not heart pounding. We did stuff and hung out and were having a wonderful time. Then after lunch we were back in our room and BLAMMO....there it was again. I was a mess. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving the room. My husband ran me a hot bath and I took a sleeping pill, which finally calmed me down. We had to leave a day early because I knew I just couldn't go through another attack like that in the middle of nowhere. Once we got on our way, I felt better. I knew I was going to go home. All was well till we landed in L.A. I got to take and shower and then the feelings came back. That's when I decided enough is enough. I had these feelings before, I knew what it was. Depression isn't just feeling sad. It's feeling lost and unsettled. It's like you can't be in your own skin. So I called my doctor and had her phone in my meds to my pharmacy at home. Again, by taking action I started to feel better. I took half a sleeping pill to pull the edge off my anxiety (not something I recommend but it was the best I could do in a pinch). So now I'm home in my comfort zone. I started my meds yesterday and I know it may take days for them to truly kick in but I'm doing better. Part of me feels like a failure for not being able to handle things better. I'm worried about what the people at my husband's company are going to think of me. But compared to how I was feeling? I'll take the embarrassment. Of course I share it here...My family (Mom, Sisters) have no clue. Ever since I had my first public situation 13 years ago, they all consider me 'fragile.' My husband makes the point that I so often have said, would I deny a diabetic insulin? So I'm back on my meds and I may gain back the weight I lost and my sleep may be wacky for a while, but it beats the alternative.
Side note to the blurb I wrote above....This all started with a bout of post partum depression....but I truly believe that it existed my whole life. It wasn't until my son was born that it took complete hold of me. The good news to everyone...Medicine is out there that works. And not everyone is like me and will need help all their life. Alot of people take some medicine (Prozac for the win for me) and get right on track and then get off the meds with no problems.
 
June 14, 2009, 2:27 pm CDT

new here

Hi everyone, i am hoping i can get some insight and support here. I have been posting for a couple months on some other boards but thought this one might be more active.

So where to start, i am 28 and married and had my first baby about 10 weeks ago. I had a kind of bad time in the hospital and had a unexpected c-section. The whole hospital stay sucked and they thought my baby had some infection and all this stuff happened that i did not expect. Thank god my baby is fine though. We went home and i was so anxious, i had always had anxiety but not like this, i had a huge knot in my stomach i couldn't eat, sleep, rest anything. I kept thinking about bad things happening to the baby and etc.

After a week i started getting really depressed and thinking i had ruined my life, i thought i wanted to just run away, i did not want a baby etc etc. I tought about jumping off a bridge, crashing my car, running out in traffic etc. I went to my doc and she gave me some Zoloft i think it was 50 mgs and then i went really down hill, i dont know if the zoloft did it or what, i was so messed up i was just rocking back and forth, crying, having panic attacks, sweating and i told me husband i was going to have to go to the hospital and they needed to lock me up. I had weird thoughts of throwing the baby when he cried too. I was so freaked out. I ended up calling my doc office and they got me in right away a psyc doc there put me on celexa and saw me the next day to talk. My mom came to stay with my husband and i and she took care of the baby for the most part. I started the celexa and three days later i already felt a little better, after a couple weeks they upped my dosage and now i am taking 40 mgs of celexa with klonpin as needed. I was making progress but then one night my husband and i celebrated his b-day and i got very drunk and ever since then i have felt  "off". I dont know if the alcohol messed my recovery up or what. Or if these meds just are not working? I hear stories of women who get to feel great with antdepressents but i dont feel great, yeah i am better then before but i still have some pretty bad days.  I hate to switch my meds as this one has had no side effects for me.

One thing that is really affecting me is that i dont feel love for my baby. I mean i do have times when i think i love him but  i almost feel like i have to force it. And i swear this cant be right. Does anyone else feel this way? Will i ever love him?

 

I dont know what  i am asking for here, i guess i am rambling. Thanks for reading.

 
June 14, 2009, 9:36 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: misfitgirl

Hi everyone, i am hoping i can get some insight and support here. I have been posting for a couple months on some other boards but thought this one might be more active.

So where to start, i am 28 and married and had my first baby about 10 weeks ago. I had a kind of bad time in the hospital and had a unexpected c-section. The whole hospital stay sucked and they thought my baby had some infection and all this stuff happened that i did not expect. Thank god my baby is fine though. We went home and i was so anxious, i had always had anxiety but not like this, i had a huge knot in my stomach i couldn't eat, sleep, rest anything. I kept thinking about bad things happening to the baby and etc.

After a week i started getting really depressed and thinking i had ruined my life, i thought i wanted to just run away, i did not want a baby etc etc. I tought about jumping off a bridge, crashing my car, running out in traffic etc. I went to my doc and she gave me some Zoloft i think it was 50 mgs and then i went really down hill, i dont know if the zoloft did it or what, i was so messed up i was just rocking back and forth, crying, having panic attacks, sweating and i told me husband i was going to have to go to the hospital and they needed to lock me up. I had weird thoughts of throwing the baby when he cried too. I was so freaked out. I ended up calling my doc office and they got me in right away a psyc doc there put me on celexa and saw me the next day to talk. My mom came to stay with my husband and i and she took care of the baby for the most part. I started the celexa and three days later i already felt a little better, after a couple weeks they upped my dosage and now i am taking 40 mgs of celexa with klonpin as needed. I was making progress but then one night my husband and i celebrated his b-day and i got very drunk and ever since then i have felt  "off". I dont know if the alcohol messed my recovery up or what. Or if these meds just are not working? I hear stories of women who get to feel great with antdepressents but i dont feel great, yeah i am better then before but i still have some pretty bad days.  I hate to switch my meds as this one has had no side effects for me.

One thing that is really affecting me is that i dont feel love for my baby. I mean i do have times when i think i love him but  i almost feel like i have to force it. And i swear this cant be right. Does anyone else feel this way? Will i ever love him?

 

I dont know what  i am asking for here, i guess i am rambling. Thanks for reading.

I feel so bad for you. I am so sorry you have gone thru all this and are feeling this way. I have three children and the last one I suffered from Post natal depression.  I tried a few meds and couselling etc. Then I went to a natural therpist that was trained in diet, nutrition and supplementation.. I couldn't believe how it changed my life.. It took a few weeks for me to really feel the benefits but I look at where I am now and how I was then and it is hard to believe that was me..

 

You sound like you are lacking some real nutrients for your brain too.. Have you tried seeking the help of a Naturopath or someone that can help you get your hormones back on the right track.. Sometimes the meds just don't work but if you can get your hormones and nutrition right I am sure it will help your meds to work but to help you get better so as you won't need them.. Vitamin C and  B vitamins are a good place to start but definately get some help from a naturopath or nutritionist.. Good luck I hope you get the help you need.. You deserve it and so does your baby!.. :)

 
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