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Topic : Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Number of Replies: 188
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 01:58:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a baby is a major life change and postpartum depression can affect any woman who is pregnant, has had a baby, miscarried, or ended a pregnancy. Share advice and support here.

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October 2, 2006, 11:07 am CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: mjmdwgj

I had PPD after both of my children were born. Beware of people who will know that you are depressed and take advantage of you. I never saw it coming because I was too wrapped up in myself. You have got to snap out of it now. Get help from licensed professionals. Do not be embarrassed to seek help, be embarrassed if you don't. You cannot wallow in depression or you will lose all that you care about. I know because I have lost my children. I may never get them back. The state did not take them from me, my own sister did. You cannot change what you have done in the past, but you can change what you do now.  I had no warning that I was about to lose my children. I was blindsided, but when I look back now I know that it did not happen overnight. I love my children with all my heart, and I did then, but it was not enough. I was manipulated, but that is no excuse. You have got to want to get better, I tried and failed many times. It took losing what was really important to me to finally see the light. Don't let it happen to you. Get help.
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your children.  Will you ever get them back?  I too suffer from depession and have for a few years now.  I'm scared to get help because I don't trust anyone...It's funny how depression will do that to you.  I am patientl`y waiting for Dr.Phils help.  Anyways, keep your head up and good luck on getting your kids back.
 
October 2, 2006, 4:05 pm CDT

Very depressed

I very very depressed, for over 16 years, dealing with the death of my mother and having to move over 1,000 miles after loosing lots of things in the hurrcaines of 2004, was living in Fl. at the time, when the place I was living in was hit by 3 hurrcaines. My family will not talk to me, I live all alone with my dog. I'm thinking of ending it all. Just wish I could have a friend to talk to everyday. thanks bye
 
October 2, 2006, 5:44 pm CDT

I've sooo been there!

My husband I were married about 2 years when I finally got pregnant with my son.  We tried for a year (on hormone therapy) to get pregnant, and a month after my grandmother died, we found out that I was pregnant. I was THRILLED!!  I had a pretty easy pregnancy, although I did have gestational diabetes which they found in my first trimester.  I controlled my blood sugar with healthy eating and oral medication.  I didn't have to take insulin, thank God!  In the beginning of my 8th month, I was at my OB for a routine visit, and he found that I was in early labor....they had me rush to the hospital and luckily were able to stop the labor and I was put on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy.  I was CRUSHED!!!  Here I was....happily pregnant...lookinf forward to this beautiful baby...and then...BOOM...every move I made I had to worry if it would make me go back into labor. Suddenly, I found myself horrribly depressed...my marriage started to unravel...it was awful.  Then, I made it to full term, and I was induced because of the diabetes....I had 10 hours of labor...then my son's heartbeat kept dropping so they rushed me into an emergency c-section.  I was HYSTERICAL!!  My son was born healthy and his APGAR scores were perfect...but I couldn't help but feel I was "gipped" out of a positive birthing experience.  After we came home, I couldn't stop crying...had awful panic attacks...I stopped eating...and of course, I got no sleep.  When we took my son in for his first visit, I spoke with our doctor about having PPD, and he immediately presribed me medication once he looked at me, and heard all of my symptoms.  My husband and I went to counseling after our son was born (which I am SOOOOOOOO glad we did) and we now have a loving, supportive mutually respectful marriage!  My son is now 11 months old, and I've had to have my medication adjusted to a higher dose, but I really feel blessed to be with him every day...to have a loving family and a FABULOUS Doctor.  We will probably start trying for baby #2 early next year...and then, I feel, our family will be complete.  Peace and love to all of you....and may God bless each and every one.

 
October 12, 2006, 1:41 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Quote From: tenderheart

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your children.  Will you ever get them back?  I too suffer from depession and have for a few years now.  I'm scared to get help because I don't trust anyone...It's funny how depression will do that to you.  I am patiently waiting for Dr.Phils help.  Anyways, keep your head up and good luck on getting your kids back.
I don't know if I will get them back. It's not up to me, its up to an appeals court.  Its ok to be afraid, but you still need to get help. You must find a professional M.D. or if you are religious, perhaps a pastor. Dr. Phil is wonderful but he is a busy man, you can learn from his show, but please don't wait for anyone to help you. You can do it. Thank you for your kind words, I was feeling down but your message helped me to feel a little better.
 
October 13, 2006, 1:16 pm CDT

New Mom

Well I am a new mom. My baby is a month old. Now I don't know if I have postpartum depression. During my pregnancy I went to talk to someone because I was alway unhappy. Even before I was pregnant. I have been on these cycles. I have gotten use to it I guess, but I worry for my baby....I don't want to affect her...esp when I am sad and seem to be no reason.
 
October 18, 2006, 2:14 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

 I am the proud mommy of 2 beautiful girls and I had suffered from mild depression when I was younger but was never really aware of it.  When I had my first daughter in 03 I was already showing signs of PPD before I even delievered.  I was so anxious about taking medicine and not knowing what it would do to me that I didnt get help the way I should have.  After my secong daughter was born in Oct of 05 it was worse and I knew I had to be serious about getting real help.  I still have a lot of help I need I think one of the worst things for me to deal with is the feeling that I dont know who I am.  I put on so many different faces for family friends people I dont know that I dont even know who the real me is and it terrifies me cause then I wonder what if this deppresed angry woman is the real me and it scares me to death.  Its something that I know I will have to continuosly get help for but for those of you still struggling with the embarrasment of getting help or feeling like you are less of a mom because you have to get help just remember in order to be the kind of mom you want to be for your kids you NEED to seek help  its a decision like should my child get vacinated...you need to get help for the sake of your children I am heartbroken when my husband comes home and my oldest telld daddy that mommys sad....there are more people suffering from this than Im sure we could ever imagine and Im here to talk to anyone who would like to.

Dana
 
October 20, 2006, 5:33 am CDT

Postpartum depression

I'm 19 yrs old and this past June I had my daughter. I found out in July that I had postpartum depression. I say I found out b/c I never knew I had it. Some people may think that I'm just being a normal teen but I've always been depressed. I was never really happy with myself. So after I had my daughter Hailey to me the way I acted was normal. To my fiancé something was definately wrong. One morning we were supposed to go to his grandfathers and I just didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like doing anything but sitting on the couch staring into space. I just felt blank. He wanted to take our daughter with him but I didn't want him to. At that point he had never been alone with her and I took care of her 24/7. So I refused to feed her unless he let her stay. I figured then he'd just give in. So I ended up going to the hospital to get an evaluation. Well it turns out that I have PPD which I still don't feel like I do. My depression only came once in a while. And my fiancé told some family and friends and I just get embarrassed. I don't want people to know my personal life plus sometimes I think that they'll see me as a bad mother because I couldn't deal with being a mother.

 
October 23, 2006, 2:36 pm CDT

trying to explain it to people

 I am a mother of to girls. Shiloh is 2 and Taylah is 6 months. I knew  something was wrong but I thought it was just me trying to get back on my feet. With Shy I did  not have depression but I did with Tay I was.  A  friend came to see from 6 hours away.  She knew right away what was wrong. She told my mom and she agreed but didn't know what to do. My friend told my husband and he took  action.  I thought he would find me a bad mom but he is very supportive and tries to explain it to others. My family understands and cares but my grandfather is having trouble with it.  My husband's family doesn't know about it because the are really hard on me. They hold things against me. I think that makes it worse. I had a person I thought was a friend but she turned out not to be. She doesn't believe that it exists. She has withdrawled herself from me. I'm glad because she made it worse. I get scared when we or my family tells someone that I have it that they don't understand it . I'm glad that I have a great husband to help and believe in me. Everyone thinks of Susan Smith and Andrea Yates when you say something about it or they agree with Tom Cruise.
 
October 28, 2006, 7:44 pm CDT

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

I to suffer from postnatal depression(Australian) I have with both of my children.  The doctor told me it was usually situation specific.  I have been married twice and the children are one from each union.  My second husband is far more supportive and loving than the first so it was assumed  by my mother that this time the depression wouldn't be as severe or last as long.   But this just isn't the case! My second child is now 18 months and I feel that although I'm better than I was I am still suffering. I have terrible pregnancies and suffer with hyperemisis gravidarum I have probably spelt that wrong but basicly It's like never ending morning sickness.  I spent the great majority of both pregnancies in hospital on drips to keep me hydrated as all the vomiting not only dehydrated me and put the baby at risk  but as I was unable to keep any food or even water down with out the constant use of anti sickness medication.   So I was well and truly in the grips of depression before I actully gave birth. All the hospital staff were great as well as my midwife,  I was exposed to councillors  from early on as I knew I was depressed and sought help for myself.  The councillors were good and helped but found the greatest help for me was time for me away from the baby.  I was still at home but focused on my hobby which is quilting.  My husband was good at taking charge of the babies during me time and tried not to let the kids interupt it was only for about an hour every couple of nights the only time he interupted was so I could feed the baby.  I did offer to remove a breast so he could feed but he declined the offer.LOL.    I know I still am suffering from pnd as what would be a bad day for me in the past feels like the world is coming to an end and I just can't cope The feeling of  just wanting to hide in my quilt and stay in bed all day not talk to any one(even the childrenand my husband).  These days are still all to frequent. But  I do feel better much better and my husband commented just yesterday that he is so proud of how I am doing.   Due to this illness I have lost alot of my friends,  I am not the happy go lucky person I once was I no longer go out of my way to ring my friends to see how they are just cause I was thinking of them.   I can say in one way This illness sorted out who my real friends are and I can tell you it seams the only real friends I have are the ones who truly know what I'm going through.  The ones who suffered with this illness themselves.  In a way it's like a support group but better as these girls arefriends I've had for years and understand and love me unconditionally.  Although I am still in the grips of pnd I know I can support and be supported by one friend in particular who was rediagnosed with pnd three months ago with her 4th baby.  I know in this hard time for her I can truly say things to comfot her and reassure her that This illness wont last forever and while we have great families and each other we will both be OK.
 
October 31, 2006, 5:33 pm CST

Dealing with PPD

Quote From: shilohsmom

 I am a mother of to girls. Shiloh is 2 and Taylah is 6 months. I knew  something was wrong but I thought it was just me trying to get back on my feet. With Shy I did  not have depression but I did with Tay I was.  A  friend came to see from 6 hours away.  She knew right away what was wrong. She told my mom and she agreed but didn't know what to do. My friend told my husband and he took  action.  I thought he would find me a bad mom but he is very supportive and tries to explain it to others. My family understands and cares but my grandfather is having trouble with it.  My husband's family doesn't know about it because the are really hard on me. They hold things against me. I think that makes it worse. I had a person I thought was a friend but she turned out not to be. She doesn't believe that it exists. She has withdrawled herself from me. I'm glad because she made it worse. I get scared when we or my family tells someone that I have it that they don't understand it . I'm glad that I have a great husband to help and believe in me. Everyone thinks of Susan Smith and Andrea Yates when you say something about it or they agree with Tom Cruise.

You are very lucky to have a husband who's supportive and loving.  My husband is, too.  My oldest son is five and a half years old and I was diagnosed with PND(Australian term) early on.  He was about three weeks old when I went to see the doctor.  I honestly wasn't coping well as I thought I should with him.  He was constantly hungry and I couldn't feed him enough.  But, once I was diagnosed and we got him fed enough, things started to level out.  I now have three children and while I don't have the depression anymore, things get a little hairy towards the end of the day and I have to be careful.  My temper has become very short in the last six months.

 

Back on subject. Please don't be offended, that is most definitely not my intention.  Your husband sounds like a wonderful man.  Trying to explain to others.  You talk about your in-laws as lacking in understanding and not offering to help.  Have you asked for it?  You know, gone up to them and specifically asked for their help?  Sometimes they don't know you need help, because they think you've got it together.

 

Your "friend" might need some time to let your condition sink in.  She obviously doesn't realise how widespread this disease (yes, disease) is.  Not everyone is like those two you mentioned.  Most are like you and I, who realise there's something wrong and seek help before it gets to that stage.

 

Just remember, you are doing the best job you can.  It's a pretty good job too.  Your babies are healthy and happy, your husband is loving and supportive.  What more could you ask for?  (Except to be free from PPD, of course. lolz).

 

I wish you all the best for the future and things will get better, even if you can't see that at this moment.

Bye from Australia

Ruthieg

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