Topic : Empty Nest Blues

Quote From: mygirl1234

I have been a single parent for 19 years.  My parents assisted greatly in helping me when circumstances arose ex: babysetting, spending time with my child and my Dad being a male role model since my daughter's Dad does not involve himself  in any significant way.  My father passed away four years ago.  At the time I was an elementary teacher of 15 years and just received my masters.  I suffered depression off and on before but took med. and was under a doctor's care. When my father became ill, my family fell apart. My mother went into denial and wasn't taking care of Dad with his cancer treatments or herself either.My only sister, a nurse, lived an hour away and was not helping, my teenager stopped trying in school and I missed numerous days from work , I was risking my  job but loved my father and knew it was the best thing and only  thing to do. He wasmy close friend and respected and loved. I had to help out.  I took two family leaves.  To make a long story short. The family grew further apart. My Dad passed away and I tried to commit suicide as I felt  totally discouraged and deserted, it seemed that no one cared about me and my life was to crazy to stand.  My principal tried to fire me for missing days.  My insurance co. intervened and I aggreed to leave on my own, since it was obvious that they wanted me to go. They paid the remainder of my contract and agreed to only say in references that absences were due to family illinesses. IHAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN FOR TEACHING JOBS DUE TO THEIR REPORT. They have given me such a bad reference, I have not been able to get another teaching job since.  I never had a bad end of the year report and worked hard, loved the kids, and feel totally out of place now.  I want my life and career back so bad but can not get around the bad reference.  I also lost my grandmother and aunt the same school year as my father and my daughter ended up in the hospital with nausea and throwing up....,most likely nerves, never diagnosed.  She got behind in school and ended up getting her GED rather than finishing H. School.  It is like the last few years have been such a nightmare, so scary and I don't know where to start fixing this mess.I have always been a high achiever and worked my way through school for three degrees.  I am not lazy or unmotivated. I SURE DO FEEL REJECTED AND LIKE A FAILIRE.  Please help me SEE THE NEXT STEP. I FEEL SO BACKED IN A CORNER AND FOR ONCE IN MY life I DONT KNOW THE NEXT STEP. ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED. 

Quote From: esonegra

I am the youngest adult child of a single parent.  We have a wonderfulrelationship; I'm sure I talk to her everyday and we spend many weekends at the eldest daughter's house with her family.  However, I get the idea that my mother is VERY lonely and borderline depressed.  In the last year, she's lost her sister, her next door neighbor of twenty years,her next door neighbor's daughter, and after a few years of battling with manic-depression, her boyfriend of 25 years died of heart complications.  

Recently, her aging (ungrateful) mother has come to live with her.

They say that three back-to-back traumatic events is enough to completely break someone and I know that my mother is reaching the breaking point.  She's not an extrememly social person, she's in bed by 9 pm every night and rarely spends time with anyone other than herthree children and gradnchildren.  That's not to say that she has a hard time meting people: she has the infectious Leo personality.  She's magnanimous, has a wonderful sense of humor,  she's very intelligent, has strong values, and doesn't have a problemmeeting/talking to people.  People are naturally drawn to her.

I think that she's struggling with the empty nest syndrome: I'm the youngest at 30, my brother is 37 and my sister 41.  Our lives no longer revolve around her as the matriarch anymore.  I want my mother to havea fuller life.  She is 62 years old, is in fantastic shape and doesn't look a day over 40.  I would love for her to meet someone, but that isn't in and of itself the goal.  How do adult single parents make friends?  What do they do with their time? 

Quote From: elephant217

My auntie volunteers for an animal shelter, and goes to yoga.  She also used to volunteer for the library, and volunteer fire dept.  Church is always a good one, too, if your mom's into that kind of thing.  Take her to do stuff-try a class together-art, yoga, whatever, if you live near, or when you visit.  My father had to go to rehab/physical therapy after his heart attack, and made some buddies there, too.  You're sweet for wanting to help your mom.  Good luck!