Topic : Empty Nest Blues

My first four children were raised by me, in a little logging camp: along with their womanizer/ predator father.   They haven't forgiven me for leaving him.  The second man in my life had no children, so we prepared and planned for a child, one who would be part of the "best" of my life.  He became bipolar, and left when she was 3 years old.  Her older siblings raised her.  I worked at every job I could find, to support her.  I also had some disastrous relationships, men and drinking problems, along with cancer scares, and bad health.   I have a wonderful man in my life now, ( in our 60's) who makes me very happy, and even though he hasn't a clue as to how to relate to children, he has tried.  She has turned all the children against us, citing our 'oldfashioned' rules,  lack of  attention to bad behaviour by the grandchildren,  and practically caused a split over these problems.  Now she has gotten violent.  She attacked my partner, punched him in the face, broke his glasses and gave him a black eye.  He instinctly raised his hand and slapped her back.  She was holding her 5 month old baby at the time, and yelling her head off, and nearly let the baby drop from her left arm onto the campfire and woodpile.  I reached down to grab him, to protect him, and she kicked me on the left side of my head and chest and screamed...."don't touch my baby!"  I ended up on the ground, another man came between she and my partner, and someone else took the baby.  The police were called, and she became the victim.  We have been accused of causing the fight,  being drunk and disorderly,  and sending her to the hospital with a 'cracked' jaw.  My other children believe her diatribe, and feel that I haven't ever stopped "causing fights and drunken brawls in the family"  Now I am being kept from my other grandchildren because I will be "intorducing this next generation" into the world of booze, and out-of-control behaviour.

Episodes from 20 years ago are drawn upon again and again,  to put me down, and not allow any forgiveness for having

 a.  left the father they loved,  and

b.  taking up with these 'no-mind' men who don'f fit into their lives.   I am 64 years old, and would like to know when it will stop.  When can I just sit back and enjoy life as most people do when they are retired? 

 My youngest daughter is a tall, beautiful kickboxer--she teaches at a fitness centre.  The rest are all capable, well-mannered, civic minded individuals who have done well for themselves.  Did't I ever have some part in seeing to it that they were brought up with some kind of care and love?  It seems not. 

I'm going to try and make this as short as possible.  I am 18 and my boyfriend of eight months is 20. I have been out of my mother's house since I was seventeen. My boyfriend on the other hand still lives at home. His dad is a vet and his mom breeds horses out on their farm. At one time it was said that my bf was to be a vet, take over the business...etc. He never wanted to be a vet so never went to college for it. I would assume they would get the picture that he wasn't going to be at home forever but, apparently I missed something! The problem is not with his father really because he is really supportive of him and our relationship. The problem lies in his mother...I forgot to mention he is an only child...My bf and I always knew of each other from horse shows and things but, I never knew that he liked me or I would end up being with him. It all began when I was asked to come and work at the farm with him helping with the young horses. We began dating very soon after I went out there. His mom didn't seem to have a problem with me. She never said anything to my bf or acted as if it bothered her. He comes to see me everyday when he gets done working for his dad as a vet assistent (hint, hint). When he is at work his mother orders him around almost in a slave manner and cusses and is just very rude in anything she says to him. When he asks her why she is being so mean her reply is "because you're dating HER."

 I never thought anything of it but his mom would call every single time we would be together. Sometimes even up to 3 to 4 times, about nothing! Pointless questions and telling him things he would need to get done the next day and it just really started annoying me! So I spoke up, I told my bf that it bothered me and asked why she does it and he kind of said okay and tried to ignore what was going on. He tried ignoring  calls but she would literally call back until he answered!! So turns out she HATES me. What can you do? She says I'm a "sissy girl" that I "distract him" that she liked his ex (who was a cheater) much better than me. Now she doesn't say these things to me but she says them to her son everyday that she hates me. I am very supportive of everything that my b/f has planned for his and our future because we are very serious in our relationship. I treat him with love and respect and loyalty everyday. I don't understand what she has against me? I'm very responsible I have a good job and I'm mature. What is she seeing?

So he is out of state right now for a two week long college course and she says I qoute, "How come you have to go all the way to OK when you could go to that school for the same course that is closer to home?" It makes me sick. It's like she will never see him again or something. Why doesn't she be happy for him being successful and  hard working, with a supportive and just as hard working partner? She tries to hold him back for so he will do what SHE has planned and what SHE  wants. So my question is for any mothers with one child and it being a boy what is going on? Why does she hate me and why is she being hateful toward he son? Isn't she doing the complete opposite? Pls don't take any offense I just want to get her point of view and I'm not ready to face her myself.

Thank You

  I am 36 years old and my children are 17 and 12.  This is probably going to sound silly but, I feel that I am going through the empty nest early.  They come and go all the time. I realize that they still need me but, like my oldest has a job, school, friends, and really not much time for good old mom.  My youngest of course is home alot more but, due to divorce goes to his dads house on weekends or everyother one and then we have sports, friends, girls, school, and there again at this age who wants to hang with mom.  It also doesn't help when my current husband works two jobs and wants to work due to he is from mexico and feels he needs to work all the time so when we get older we don't have to want for much.  I just feel really down and empty like everyone is growing so fast and I'm not sure if I'm ready.  Anyone have any suggestions?  Thanks