Topic : Empty Nest Blues

Well, first of all I think a parent must realise the child/young adult is now on a stage of leaving the safe house and go for a place for themselves. It isn't easy to let your children go, but if you are sure you educated them well, it wil be fine (at least in the most occasions) I do see a lot of parents (here in the netherlands) whom are letting their children free on a young age.... 13, 14, 15 that's irresponsible. Just make sure you did whatever you can to make your young adult independant and can stand up for them selves

Well that was it for now, hehe

Grtz,

Wolfje

I was worried I would have the empty nest blues when the time came.  At the time I had been married for 21 years to an alcoholic who had Hepatitis C.  I couldn't stand the thought of the kids leaving because then I would have been alone with him.  They were the only thing that kept me sort of sane.  My husband died before they moved out.  They were 19 and 20 at the time.  It was I who moved away.  Quite frankly, it has been a blessing having them out of the house.  On the other hand I worry about them more.  My daughter does just fine.  Works and does the things she should.  Very responsible.  My son... absolutely another story entirely.  He is on his own but living in his car.  That's a story in an of itself.  I worry about him so much.  In some ways I wish he was back with me but, most of the time I know he needs to go through this himself and learn to stand on his own feet.  I just don't understand how I could raise one child that is self sufficient and one who can't/won't keep a job.  Any ideas?  But as to the empty nest?  I was ready when it happened.

Since my marriage was such a train wreck, I spent my life dedicated to my kids. School activities, little league,bowling, class mom, team mom, etc. In many ways, it was rewarding and in others a huge mistake. What you want is for your children to become independent individuals, but when they do, you are left behind. All three of mine were out of the house within 11 months. The oldest got married and moved four states away. The other two joined the military. My world was shattered. I was left to deal with all the things I had been avoiding by baking cookies and such.

That was five years ago. Since then, I have enrolled in Tai chi, taken classes in several topics of interest, volunteered in a homeless project, written a book, got a divorce, and became a grandmother. The point is, there is life after children. You just need to take care of you for a change.

 I really understand your points. I have 3 sons. My oldest is very successful in his field. My sons are all different;- you could never tell that thay are related at all. My 24 yr old works full-time and has his own business after work. He does just great.--My other 2 sons are totally the opposite. I have a 19 yr old that bounces from job to job, and finally realizes that he must further his education to get anywhere in today's world-- And the 17 yr old is the youngest, and the total opposite.

In our town the first week of school just passed. He missed 2 days of school already, I had no idea until my older sons friends told us. I am really worried about the 17 yr old, he is so bright and he is throwing his whole life away. I started noticing chnages last year, when he quit basketball after playing since elementary school. He is a very gifted player. My 3 sons are extremely different all the way around. My 24 yr old, is a outstanding role model for the other 2 younger ones. I don't understand what went wrong with the other  sons.