Quote From: dragnfly88I really need some help, I have wrote to Dr.Phil for help several times but I guess its not important enough, --yes I am upset at all the drama in my life due to kids.
My 20 year old has moved on, and that was alot to deal ith as we are really close and her leaving home was hard for me and I was depressed for a long time, She always has been such a good daughter and I have always been proud of her and she continues to make me proud. She has a really good job, is putting herself through college and has bought a new car, and her and her fiance have just moved into there first apartment.
But the bad news is she just discovered she is pregnate and is very unhappy about it, and I am supporting the decision she makes, and when they moved into there apartment yesterday they discovered the place was filthy and filled with cockroaches,on a year lease.
poor kid!!!!!!!!!!!!
My 18 year old is struggling with life, she is a good kid, no drugs, booze.
But she thinks the world is out to get her, she is a senior and is not applying herself in school, she is going to fail a subject that keeps her from getting her diploma with her class. I have been so involved in school trying to help her but I guess you cant help those that dont want to be helped,she hates my husband, and he doesnt like her. They fight all the time putting me in the middle, which causes huge blow ups with my husband and I and we dont speak for days.
Last nite she tried to talk to me about dropping out of school and going to get her GED. WHAT?????????
a month left? that desnt fly with me. I made the MISTAKE of telling my husband, we got in a big fight and not talking again.I dont think that punishment is the answer, I think helping her get through school and working hard to have her graduate is the key.
I am at the point where I want a divorce, I want her to move out. But I have divorced once and I am not about to start over again at 45. WHY does life have to be so comlicated and why do people have to work so hard to have a good family life?
I am a strong woman who has been through alot in 20 years, and I should be able to handle this. But no matter what I do it blows up in my face. I just want to give up. I need Dr. Phil
Dear Mother,
Oh how well can I relate to you. I am a mother of three children, ages 23, 233, and 18 years of age. Firstly, my children has given me so much pain and grief that it has made me numb. My eldest child son was incarcerated at age 17. He is now serving a life sentence for being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. All my life, I have struggled to be a good mother for my children. I was a single parent for over 8 years, and trying to cope and deal with each child individually. It was extremely hard.
I would be at work and to recieve a phone call that my son was doing something in school, or not in school, or in trouble with the law. I had many nights where I would go to bed praying that God send some relief because I had grown so tired of trying to get my children to take the right direction in life.
Then my eldest daughter started causing me grief, she got pregnant at 16 years old with my granddaughter, and eventually I had to work three jobs just to provide for them all. Not only 4 months after having her 1st child, she became pregnant again with my grandson. By this time, I had finally met my current husband. After one year, we decided to get married.
My eldest daughter does not like my husband at all!! They constantly fight and argue with one another, keeping me right in the middle of their disagreements.
My daughter is so naive, and she does not understand what being an adult means.....Both children have different fathers, and neither father is instrumental in raising either one of the babies, so my husband has taken on the challenge of being both the male role model, and grandparent for them both.
Just recently, we found out that my daughter has been diagniosed with HIV. Now, what do I do? I have always tried to instill in each one of my children the importance of being respectful to one's self, being your own bread-winner, and to take life seriously.. My eldest daughter feels as if I owe her my life, that because I am her mother, that I have a duty to raise her children, with a smile on my face. I have taking my granddaughter, she lives with us because my daughter finds the need to be around all of the wrong type of people, and I am considering taking my grandson as well, but then I asked myself just where and how will I find time for my husband, my career, and the things that is important to me at this time in my life. I've paid my dues, and I raised each one of my children ALL BY MYSELF, with no family, or help, so now I feel as if I'll have to raise my grandchildren as well.
I love each one of my children, and the one child that has made me know that I wasn't a complete failure has been youngest daughter. She is the only one of my children that has went on to college, paying her own bills, and getting things in order for the future.
I am so tired, tired of being there for them, and getting nothing in return meaning that I don't see any progress being made.
I will not allow my children to destroy my marriage, and trust me, children can do just that. I thank my husband for taking on the tasks that he has, and he tells me all of the time that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.
I have done all that I can do to show my children that yes, I have your best interest at heart, and nothing has made a difference.
I feel so bad for my grandchildren because in essence, they have a child as a mother. She doesn't have that maternal instinct, and I am afraid that she'll never gain it.
So Reader, trust me I can really understand where you are coming from. I don't want to throw my hands up with them and say:'I'm done'. but I've got to cut the umbilical cord at some point.
I am 42 years old, and I still feel like I am responsible for raising my grandchildren now. I am still waiting to exhale.
Respecfully,
LaShawnna A. Burney
