Topic : Empty Nest Blues

I was hired as a Emergency Department Secretary and over time I was also asked to perform clinical duties such as take a patients first vitals, help with transport from ambulance stretch to er stretcher, put patients on bed pans and commodes. Transport patients to inpatient bed on other floors, operating rooms, helped with catherization of patients (male and female), cleaned up bodily fluids, helped patients from stretchers into wheel chairs, helped with suture care, cleaned patience's, transported deceased patients from emergency room to cooler located on the other side of hospital. Transported patients with and without oxygen. This is to mention a few. I resigned from my position with a letter. The policy give an employee 3 days to contact and I did call in the first two days to explain I was ill and had been seeing a doctor. I became very depressed as I knew I could not fulfill my secretarial duties while caring for patients as requested by nurses and doctors of the emergency department. They put in my record that I abandoned my job . I have not been able to get a job in medical offices as (where this hospital is located) anything affiliated with this hospital cannot hire me as a result of the determination. The human resource manager refuses to change the status (she wasn't employed by the hospital at the time of occurrence and will not even consider listing to me. I received unemployment as it was determined I left due to the demands put on me. I had NO certification and was not even CPR certified. This just gives you an idea why I need help to correct this emotionally disturbing situation say nothing about all the money I could have made during this time. WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSES?

For the last 25 years my husband and I have raised a responsible,intelligent, loving son. Myself, coming from a loving family I was never in doubt what to do when it was my turn . First there were sleepovers, hard to let go, even though you knew the family and yet, that moment's lingering thought of: Is he ok? Then, it was staying out late w/curfew, letting my son drive the car w/out me. I never knew I had a talent  for sleeping with my eyes open.  The blow came when my husband and I drove our son to college. I cried all the way home. I knew he would manage, the question was, would I? I tried to give him the independence he needed, how many times I just wanted to call and hear his voice. I did not. I let  him come to me. It was worth it. Now, my beautiful son has celebrated his 1st wedding anniversary with his lovely wife. Boy how time passes.  To this day, I miss him terribly. I go through phases of needing him as a little boy and when he comes to visit I cannot wait to have my freedom back. Crazy thoughts stand right along side of Empty Nest Blues.

I truly think we forget that we are just as needed by our children as they are needing of us. We should embrace the great jobs we have done with our children and use this wonderful time to re-connect with our spouses, friends and most of all, ourselves. It is equally important to find a balance within yourself and seek out the person you used to be. It won't be too long before you are asked to Babysit. 

I have a new found respect for my peace and quiet, no dam diapers, cash withdrawls, etc.

Have a great life...

I will never lose the love I have for my son. It is because of him that I am a great Mom.

olderthanu

 In the healthcare industry myself, I can tell you, not a single self respecting individual would ask you to risk your job and their job as licensed professionals, not to mention thwe patient's. My first inclination would have been to document everything in a concise and professional manner. I then would have sent a letter to the administrator of the hspital for an investigation. Healthcare especially good healthcare is becoming rare. I would never consider performing any procedure without the proper training and certification.  You need to consult your policy and procedure manual and find  the ear your looking for. Self esteem and worth and the good name you carry is worth fighting for.

 olderthanu

Hi, 

 I just wanted to share something in this board.  I have struggled to let my son go for 1 year now.  He told me "Letting Go" was for people that aren't coming back sometime.   With him, he said it was a matter of "Letting Grow!"  This has helped me a lot and hope it will help others as well. Charly

afnavymom

Thanks for sharing.  Do your kids stay in contact?  I have one child, 20, will be 21 in January and I have been BEGGING for her to stay in contact and make time for me.  I raised her on my own with alot of "drama" on both sides - alot of hurt.  But I had hoped with her being out at college in the same area, we could RESTART.  Today I made up my mind to take a "break" from the BEGGING, but it is so hard as I feel I have lost the only family I have.  Being dumped by my male friend of 9 months is not helping with my sadness.

afnavymom

Thanks for sharing.  Do your kids stay in contact?  I have one child, 20, will be 21 in January and I have been BEGGING for her to stay in contact and make time for me.  I raised her on my own with alot of "drama" on both sides - alot of hurt.  But I had hoped with her being out at college in the same area, we could RESTART.  Today I made up my mind to take a "break" from the BEGGING, but it is so hard as I feel I have lost the only family I have.  Being dumped by my male friend of 9 months is not helping with my sadness.

charly31636

Does your son stay in contact with you and spend time with you?