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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 584
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:42:49 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of infants and toddlers.

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August 12, 2005, 5:14 pm CDT

biting

 I was looking for some tips on biting.  My son is 19 months old and still is biting us. (He started about 6 months old)  He goes in for a hug and then bites.  We have tried ignoring it, redirection, keep our reactions to a minimum, teething toys, turn him around when he hugs us.  We've been strick with him.  I even tried showing how biting feels but that didn't help. (Iwas at my lowest there)  I feel it just showed him it's ok to bite.  We are now having him sit on the couch for a while, he's been crying when we do this so Hopefully it is sinking in.  We take him down when he is done and tell him biting hurts.  It definatley is worse when he is teething and I know he is frustrated that he cannot communicate what he is feeling.  He has many words and knows sign language for children. but it isn't enough...I guess I just was hoping for a fresh perspective and ideas.
Thanks,
All chewed up aaaaaaaaaaah!
 
August 16, 2005, 8:20 am CDT

bitting

Quote From: kdabam

 I was looking for some tips on biting.  My son is 19 months old and still is biting us. (He started about 6 months old)  He goes in for a hug and then bites.  We have tried ignoring it, redirection, keep our reactions to a minimum, teething toys, turn him around when he hugs us.  We've been strick with him.  I even tried showing how biting feels but that didn't help. (Iwas at my lowest there)  I feel it just showed him it's ok to bite.  We are now having him sit on the couch for a while, he's been crying when we do this so Hopefully it is sinking in.  We take him down when he is done and tell him biting hurts.  It definatley is worse when he is teething and I know he is frustrated that he cannot communicate what he is feeling.  He has many words and knows sign language for children. but it isn't enough...I guess I just was hoping for a fresh perspective and ideas.
Thanks,
All chewed up aaaaaaaaaaah!

We had the same problem with our daughter now 2.  I talked to our pediatrician and he suggested what we just flick her in the corner of her mouth.  He said that it will not hurt her, just sting enough to get the point across.  He said to tell her that biting is not nice when you flick her so she will associate biting with pain.  It took 2 weeks for her to stop biting!!  

  

Hope this helps!!!! 

 
August 16, 2005, 3:00 pm CDT

Thanks

Quote From: leomom_3

We had the same problem with our daughter now 2.  I talked to our pediatrician and he suggested what we just flick her in the corner of her mouth.  He said that it will not hurt her, just sting enough to get the point across.  He said to tell her that biting is not nice when you flick her so she will associate biting with pain.  It took 2 weeks for her to stop biting!!  

  

Hope this helps!!!! 

Thanks for the tip.  We'll see how it goes. Did you have a problem with her flicking herself or you?  I could see my son trying that so I just wanted to ask so I had a plan if it happened.  If you didn't have that problem then no worries I'll think of something if need be.  Thanks again!!
 
August 18, 2005, 9:41 pm CDT

Thumb sucking ?

OK ,  

    We have a 3 month old boy, Charles. He started sucking his thumb about a week ago only when he is tired or sleeping. Chip and I both dont want him to get use to doing that . Chip had a bad habit when he was younger as he was told by his mother that he sucked his thumb and it was really bad stopping it. For me , when I was younger I sucked a pasifier, and also a bad thing to get into doing. 

   What should we do? We keep pulling the thumb out. But the little thumb goes right back in the mouth... One person told us.... Put a pasifier in place of the thumb if he will take it. CAUSE 

 It is easier to throw of the pasifier away BUT you cant get rid of the thumb. What do you think? 

 
August 21, 2005, 5:00 pm CDT

General Advice

Quote From: amymashley

OK ,  

    We have a 3 month old boy, Charles. He started sucking his thumb about a week ago only when he is tired or sleeping. Chip and I both dont want him to get use to doing that . Chip had a bad habit when he was younger as he was told by his mother that he sucked his thumb and it was really bad stopping it. For me , when I was younger I sucked a pasifier, and also a bad thing to get into doing. 

   What should we do? We keep pulling the thumb out. But the little thumb goes right back in the mouth... One person told us.... Put a pasifier in place of the thumb if he will take it. CAUSE 

 It is easier to throw of the pasifier away BUT you cant get rid of the thumb. What do you think? 

 When my son sucked his thumb I replaced it with a different toy to suck on.   That seemed to work.  we also introduced him to a blanket with silk around the edges.  He finds that very comforting.  It is very useful too because when he stirs at night he has learned to comfort himself with his blanket and does not need us as much.  Good luck to you!
 
September 2, 2005, 9:05 pm CDT

I could use some help.....

I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and I am fighting to get him to toilet train! He knows what to do, how to do it, but refuses. I have called the doctors office and they told me don't push him, and sent me some copied pages from a book on toilet training. I am at my wits end with this. I have tried the reward system, along with trying to punish by taking away what he likes. That hasn't worked. I tried to explain to him that he would be able to go to school and play with other kids his age, I even took him to the preschool and he saw where the children play. He sort of has the idea that he wants to go to school, but it quickly leaves his mind. I am really trying, but I feel like pulling my hair out!! I have heard horror stories of how people have tied their children to the potty chair, I was petrified to say the least and the woman suggested I do it to my son. I told her I would rather wait and continue cleaning his behind, then to traumatize my son! I am very frightened by the crazy responses that I have heard from people about this! Is there someone who would have a piece of advice that may help out. I really don't know what else to do, besides wait until he decides to do it on his own!
 
September 3, 2005, 1:54 am CDT

Take a breath

Quote From: sedmaiden

I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and I am fighting to get him to toilet train! He knows what to do, how to do it, but refuses. I have called the doctors office and they told me don't push him, and sent me some copied pages from a book on toilet training. I am at my wits end with this. I have tried the reward system, along with trying to punish by taking away what he likes. That hasn't worked. I tried to explain to him that he would be able to go to school and play with other kids his age, I even took him to the preschool and he saw where the children play. He sort of has the idea that he wants to go to school, but it quickly leaves his mind. I am really trying, but I feel like pulling my hair out!! I have heard horror stories of how people have tied their children to the potty chair, I was petrified to say the least and the woman suggested I do it to my son. I told her I would rather wait and continue cleaning his behind, then to traumatize my son! I am very frightened by the crazy responses that I have heard from people about this! Is there someone who would have a piece of advice that may help out. I really don't know what else to do, besides wait until he decides to do it on his own!
 Please do not tie your son down.  You are right not to tramatize him.  Pottying needs to be a natural and positive process.  Take a step back and look at your reactions.   If you are fighting him than he  may be reacting to your response.  Unfortunatley he has the control here in the end. Relax for a moment.  Also take some time and see what is making your son anxious about the potty.  Then try to find positive solutions to his fears.

When you are ready I would suggest putting a stack of diapers out and when they are gone using underwear. Involve him in this process. Let him pick out the underwear and maybe "new" diapers just for night time.  Of course you can go with out if you want.

 Let him feel what it is to be wet.  Put him in charge of changing him self, cleaning up etc.  You can be there to guide if necessary.  Stay calm and when he has an accident just say uh oh time to go clean your self up.  He may initially fight you on this.  Just keep your reactions to a minimum and you can help him by saying "I'll do the front, You do the back etc.  And then  let him know that when you go in the potty you don't get wet.
What is happening is that at his age he is smart and knows how to be defient which is a skill that comes with age. He knows how to control his urine or ignore it for that matter. You just have to be a little more creative with your solutions to this issue.  But once you go to underwear do not go back to diapers because it will be much harder to get him back in underwear.  It also is very confusing to children when you jump back and forth.

You know your son best.  Just stay calm and it will all work out.  I feel I have jumped around alot so if you have further questions please ask. 

Good luck
 
September 6, 2005, 4:14 pm CDT

Another option

Quote From: amymashley

OK ,  

    We have a 3 month old boy, Charles. He started sucking his thumb about a week ago only when he is tired or sleeping. Chip and I both dont want him to get use to doing that . Chip had a bad habit when he was younger as he was told by his mother that he sucked his thumb and it was really bad stopping it. For me , when I was younger I sucked a pasifier, and also a bad thing to get into doing. 

   What should we do? We keep pulling the thumb out. But the little thumb goes right back in the mouth... One person told us.... Put a pasifier in place of the thumb if he will take it. CAUSE 

 It is easier to throw of the pasifier away BUT you cant get rid of the thumb. What do you think? 

When my son was little we gave him a pacifier to suck on.  Neither my husband nor I liked the idea of a three year old trying to talk around the stupid thing.  So, what we did was let him have the "binky" whenever he wanted it until he was one year old.  On his first birthday we took all the things out of his room, diaper bag, and where ever they were around the house, and made them "dissappear".  That night after he went to bed, I took them out to our garage and put them with all his other clothes and things that he had outgrown. 

  

Yes, he fussed for a couple of days, and my husband and I wished that we still were using the dumb things, but agter a week, my son had forgotten all about ever having them.  Several months later he found one that had been in the couch cushions and went and threw it into the trash.  He didn't even hesitate or try and put it in his mouth. 

 
September 21, 2005, 11:32 am CDT

General Advice

Quote From: sedmaiden

I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and I am fighting to get him to toilet train! He knows what to do, how to do it, but refuses. I have called the doctors office and they told me don't push him, and sent me some copied pages from a book on toilet training. I am at my wits end with this. I have tried the reward system, along with trying to punish by taking away what he likes. That hasn't worked. I tried to explain to him that he would be able to go to school and play with other kids his age, I even took him to the preschool and he saw where the children play. He sort of has the idea that he wants to go to school, but it quickly leaves his mind. I am really trying, but I feel like pulling my hair out!! I have heard horror stories of how people have tied their children to the potty chair, I was petrified to say the least and the woman suggested I do it to my son. I told her I would rather wait and continue cleaning his behind, then to traumatize my son! I am very frightened by the crazy responses that I have heard from people about this! Is there someone who would have a piece of advice that may help out. I really don't know what else to do, besides wait until he decides to do it on his own!

Hello, 

  

My advice would be not to push him to go to the potty. This is where he have the power. Maybe he is not ready yet completely. Let him wear underwear and not trainingpants, he needs to feel when he is wet. 

  

Good Luck 

  

  

 
September 25, 2005, 6:22 pm CDT

Pacifier Disaster

My daughter is 20 months old, and still takes her pacifier. She actually seems more depedent on it now than she did before.. :( I don't mind her having it for nap/bedtime, but I am trying to get her off it during the day. She walks around saying "pacy" until I give it to her. My doctor recommended at her 18 month checkup for me to work on taking her off, but advised not to go "cold turkey" . I feel guilty if she asks for it and I tell her no. She starts to cry and I just give in. Does anyone have any really great tricks for this? ? this is my first child and I have no idea how to handle.. :( She also goes to daycare 4days a week, so i need a strategy that i can work with them on as well. .. HELP .. : )
 
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