Topic : General Advice

My son is 18 Months old and is experiencing "STRANGER ANXIETY" The problem is that the "strangers are my in laws!"   I feel a little bad because he cries whenever he's around anybody thats not my husband or I, including my in laws! what can I do to get him more comfortable around them, or is this just a stage?  By the way he rarely sees them, can this be why?

yes that is why your son is doing that. You need to get him out of the house and meeting people, even going to the park or joining him in some group activities would be really good for him. When he is clinging on to you for dear life and doesn't want to go near someone eles, you just need to pretend its not happening and when he finally lets someone eles hold him, and mind you it might take a while. You will need to praise him for that. 'Fear' is not something we are born with, its something that we learn'. So now he needs to learn confidence and trust. But its not something you can push into him, its something he will develope. When you go to let someone eles hold him, give him to that person while you are talking about something eles and tell the other person to not worry about his reaction or even pay attention to him while he is holding him and if the focus isn't on the child while this is happening your son wont worry about it as much as he would. But if he cries you can not make a big deal out of it. If you do this i can garanty that he will get over this. Another tip is when he needs a drink or something to eat or even something he really wants like a certain toy give it to your in-laws to give to him. That will slowly make him more comfortable.

Ok lets look at this situation, 7 months old and seriously attached to her mother. In a way thats sweet but your finding it hard now. well you do need to let her cry and you need to pretend that she is not crying. If she is not in pain or needing anything eles besides you then its no big deal. Just egnore her and it will last a week, same as bed just egnore her and do not look her in the eyes when going in there just see what she wants, dont pick her up, dont say a word and then leave. it is allway good to make a rutine for your kids before they go to bed too. Follow through with everything you do and dont let her think that you are gonna give in. You obviously really love your children and she is always going to know that and your going to feel mean for doing this to her but you need to remind yourself that you are doing this for her best interest. Her crying is going to drive you mad for a week but thats better than it wearing you out for a life time.This will make her more independent and relaxed. She will be comfortable where she is and very content.

I can sympatize with you. When I was 18 yrs old I met my husband. He has a son from a previous relationship, and this little boy's mom is about as dead-beat as they come. I also feel anger towards her because she does not do a good job of raising her son. In fact, I love this little boy like he's my own and I would do anything for him. I pray everyday that he will be able to come live with us and experience a real, positive childhood. I must ask why you are angry at your boyfriend. Did he cheat on you with this girl? Or are you just mad that he didn't make a smarter decision, such as safe sex? I must also say that my position is very well respected either. ( I refer to my partner as my husband because of our relationship and the amount of time we've been together, but in reality we are not married.) I have been with this man for 4 years, and we share two children together but my opinion on the situation doesn't really get heard either. I have learned to accept my place as a step-mom. My best advice to you would be to love and take care of your step-daughter whenever she is with you. Be a good, positive mother figure in her life and let her know that you love her unconditionally. If the situation with her mother is potentially dangerous or abusive, then maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about getting custody of his daughter. If this is not possible, then remember the best thing you can do is love your step-daughter and try to stand behind your boyfriend. The anger will never go away, but maybe it could be eased by accepting that there are some things you cannot change.