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November 1, 2005, 7:20 pm PST
General Advice
Quote From: alisalammI am a stay at home mother of a 2 yr. old son. I also do daycare for my two nephews who are 3 and 4 months. I started watching my 3 yr. old nephew when he was 1yr and my son was just a newborn. My problem is, as they get older, they fight more. It's non-stop!! They fight over everything from toys to who's going to talk to me! I know it sounds crazy but it's true. My main form of discipline is the time-out strategy when they are aggressive (hitting, biting etc). I'm not joking when I say this, they would both be in time out from the time they arrive at our house until they leave if I put them in time out each time they fought. I've tried talking with them, roll playing etc. I've run out of ideas and am growing increasingly impatient. I don't know if the fighting stems from them being so close in age (only 10 months apart) or if it's something I'm doing.
Now that I have a 4 month old nephew to also watch after it's increasingly difficult to keep the toddlers busy and not fighting. I'm due with our second son in Feb. '06 and it's freaking me out because I just don't know how I'm going to handle it once I have 4 boys under the age of 4, in the house. Does anyone have any advice for helping my son and his cousin get along throughout the day? Thanks for your help! I do understand where you are coming from as I have done a lot of babysitting myself, you gotta think of a system, I don't know what your day's activities consist of but, there might be too much stimulation for them, maybe start the day off with a quiet activity such as maybe a pleasent video such as the baby Einstein' series, they are wonderful. then have a planned activity every 30 minutes or so and when ever you see that they are being well behaved and playing nicely, give them a sticker on a chart and at the end of the day, make it a big deal that they got stickers and give them a little treat/prize before they leave. They can earn so many stickers, one for not fighting, one for sharing, one for being a helper, one for cleaning up, whatever then when they get so many stickers the get a special prize and let them help count their stickers. Kids that age need plenty of activity and attention, I know it is a lot of hard work but with a routine, it may work out better. Maybe start off with a quiet activity then do a fun activity together with them then maybe have them at the table doing a project such as playdough or coloring, then maybe let them help make a snack/lunch, something simple. I think the imporant thing is not to get them over stimulated. One thing you can do as well is divide some of the toys such as the blocks and have them play on theri own for a few minutes, tell them to build a house and see if they can use all their blocks, or see how tall they can get it. make it a game for them.When it comes to them both wanting to talk to you at the same time, maybe have something that they can wear around their necks when it is their turn to talk, You can make a heart necklace out of construction paper and when one wants to talk then they wear it, it tells him and the other child that who's turn it is to talk. Otherwise, tell them you are not listening becasue you can't hear both of them talk at once, then walk away from them, it works in my home and even my two year old is catching on. I don't know if I helped but I am sure others will have some suggestionsa s well.
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