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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 584
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Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:42:49 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of infants and toddlers.

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November 7, 2005, 9:52 am CST

bath time?

Just wondering what time of day you all bath your kids?  I have been bathing mine at night but have been thinking of switching to mornings for their baths. 

 
 







 

 
November 7, 2005, 10:20 am CST

LOL

Quote From: tcghbroome

Just wondering what time of day you all bath your kids?  I have been bathing mine at night but have been thinking of switching to mornings for their baths. 

 
 







 

My kids are in the tub right now, right this moment and it is 130 in the afternoon. LOL. Usually they get them in the evenings after dinner but that is not set in stone. Whatever is convenient and depends on the plans and mood of the day, at least that is how it is around here.
 
November 7, 2005, 10:54 am CST

More Advice Please

My boyfriend has 2 girls. One is his (Alyssa, 10) and the other is his exs' from a previous relationship (Lizzy, 11), but he's the only father she has ever known. They are both really great kids, but there mother has pushed me too far. Last friday I went to pick them up because their dad, my boyfriend, could not get them in time. His ex was not there. I rang the doorbell and Lizzy opened the door and when she did this there was a HORRIBLE smell that came out. It was so bad that I just about threw up on their porch. I could swear it was dead body. Lizzy has mentioned that it is so bad there that she wants to come live with us, but she can't because of the situation. I would call CPS on her because of the house being a disaster, but then she'll go through the state to get more money out of my boyfriend. Right now he pays around $300 a month for Alyssa, if it were to go to court he would be paying well over $1300 a month for her. The $300 is enough to pay for all of her bills, except the house payment. His ex smokes 3 packs a day and is never home. She'll leave for the weekend and not tell anybody she's going or where she's going. The girls usually call me begging for me to pick them up. I have personally taken them shopping and bought them the little stuff that they needed. Both of the girls have told me that they NEED clothes and that "mommy" tells us to ask daddy to buy the clothes for them. How do I get my boyfriends ex (33 yrs old) to grow up and be an adult and take care of these beautiful little girls?? I'm also scared to death someone is going to hurt these girls because the front door looks like it has been busted down.
 
November 7, 2005, 1:39 pm CST

environmental or neurological??

I have a sister-in-law who is a stay at home mom with her 4 year old son.  They have had concerns with his behavior in social situations.  He tends to act out.  They have seen many specialists including Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy and a psychologist/psychiatrist (can't remember which).  They believe he may be tactile defensive.  The mom is the primary disciplinarian and is very exhuasted. dad does little to no discipline.  I believe they respect my advice but am uncertain how to share my thoughts which are......to rule out his acting out as being "environmental" and that dad is the most influential male role model in his life, could his behavior be due to the limited discipline provided by dad?  I have shared my thoughts with another family member who lives close to them and they are also concerned and respect my feedback probably because i am an occupational therapist.  I love this boy very much and want to know if they are doing all they can.  Is there someone who would be skilled to come into the home and rule out his behavior as "enviornmental"? 

  

concerned 

 
November 7, 2005, 8:01 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: jettav

My kids are in the tub right now, right this moment and it is 130 in the afternoon. LOL. Usually they get them in the evenings after dinner but that is not set in stone. Whatever is convenient and depends on the plans and mood of the day, at least that is how it is around here.

How old are your kids?  and do you bath them every day? 

 
 







 

 
November 7, 2005, 8:13 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: misskanell

My boyfriend has 2 girls. One is his (Alyssa, 10) and the other is his exs' from a previous relationship (Lizzy, 11), but he's the only father she has ever known. They are both really great kids, but there mother has pushed me too far. Last friday I went to pick them up because their dad, my boyfriend, could not get them in time. His ex was not there. I rang the doorbell and Lizzy opened the door and when she did this there was a HORRIBLE smell that came out. It was so bad that I just about threw up on their porch. I could swear it was dead body. Lizzy has mentioned that it is so bad there that she wants to come live with us, but she can't because of the situation. I would call CPS on her because of the house being a disaster, but then she'll go through the state to get more money out of my boyfriend. Right now he pays around $300 a month for Alyssa, if it were to go to court he would be paying well over $1300 a month for her. The $300 is enough to pay for all of her bills, except the house payment. His ex smokes 3 packs a day and is never home. She'll leave for the weekend and not tell anybody she's going or where she's going. The girls usually call me begging for me to pick them up. I have personally taken them shopping and bought them the little stuff that they needed. Both of the girls have told me that they NEED clothes and that "mommy" tells us to ask daddy to buy the clothes for them. How do I get my boyfriends ex (33 yrs old) to grow up and be an adult and take care of these beautiful little girls?? I'm also scared to death someone is going to hurt these girls because the front door looks like it has been busted down.
These girls are not in a good environment or in good care, you may be their only outlet, you can call CPS without telling them who you are. They are actually old enough to talk and they would be questioned about their home life and all..........
 
November 7, 2005, 8:15 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: tcghbroome

How old are your kids?  and do you bath them every day? 

 
 







 

My girls are 2 and 4 and they get bathed just about every day, they do miss a night here and there, I don't make a big deal out of it if they do miss a night, it is usally when we are just hanging out at home.
 
November 8, 2005, 8:07 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: idvrphil

I have a sister-in-law who is a stay at home mom with her 4 year old son.  They have had concerns with his behavior in social situations.  He tends to act out.  They have seen many specialists including Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy and a psychologist/psychiatrist (can't remember which).  They believe he may be tactile defensive.  The mom is the primary disciplinarian and is very exhuasted. dad does little to no discipline.  I believe they respect my advice but am uncertain how to share my thoughts which are......to rule out his acting out as being "environmental" and that dad is the most influential male role model in his life, could his behavior be due to the limited discipline provided by dad?  I have shared my thoughts with another family member who lives close to them and they are also concerned and respect my feedback probably because i am an occupational therapist.  I love this boy very much and want to know if they are doing all they can.  Is there someone who would be skilled to come into the home and rule out his behavior as "enviornmental"? 

  

concerned 

 I think in order to rule out environmental they should take everything away that may cause his outbursts. I would think you as an OT could come in and rule out environmental.  Or the therapist that he has already seen.  Kids with tactile defensiveness (or sensory integration) usually are bothered by noises that do not affect us (ie a light buzzing/florescent lights).  They are sometimes bothered by the feeling of their clothes  Are his souroundings over stimulating?  May be they need to tone down the decorations of the house (too many pictures on the wall?)  Is the TV on alot? I think they have to figure out what is triggering his out burts.  Maybe for a few days the mom could write down what is going on around him when he acts out (time, food he has eaten, is he sleepy, what activity he is doing etc)  then she could figure out what is causing this. And possibly start to see a pattern. If the dad is not really involved then maybe he's acting out to get attention. Or angry at his father or mother. There are so many variables.  Has he been evaluated by a neurologist?  What was the outcome of the speech pathologist?  Can he communicate his feelings? I think at 4 they can begin to gather enough info for a diagnosis.  Is he in pre-school? It would be interesting just to observe him around other children his age. Good luck to your sister in law and her son.
 
November 9, 2005, 6:59 am CST

environmental or neurological

Quote From: kdabam

 I think in order to rule out environmental they should take everything away that may cause his outbursts. I would think you as an OT could come in and rule out environmental.  Or the therapist that he has already seen.  Kids with tactile defensiveness (or sensory integration) usually are bothered by noises that do not affect us (ie a light buzzing/florescent lights).  They are sometimes bothered by the feeling of their clothes  Are his souroundings over stimulating?  May be they need to tone down the decorations of the house (too many pictures on the wall?)  Is the TV on alot? I think they have to figure out what is triggering his out burts.  Maybe for a few days the mom could write down what is going on around him when he acts out (time, food he has eaten, is he sleepy, what activity he is doing etc)  then she could figure out what is causing this. And possibly start to see a pattern. If the dad is not really involved then maybe he's acting out to get attention. Or angry at his father or mother. There are so many variables.  Has he been evaluated by a neurologist?  What was the outcome of the speech pathologist?  Can he communicate his feelings? I think at 4 they can begin to gather enough info for a diagnosis.  Is he in pre-school? It would be interesting just to observe him around other children his age. Good luck to your sister in law and her son.

thank you for the reply.  Mom is currently seeing an OT(2x/wk)  speech (1x/week) and a psychologist ($100/hour).  they are paying out of pocket becuase insurance only pays for a certain amount of visits/year.  I live in another state and see them rarely.  I also do not work with pediatrics at this time and only some experience with sensory defensiveness.  We went to visit them for a couple of days and noticed that mom did all of the disciplining and reading him stories, etc.  their son is drawn to men more than women.  He did not have any outbursts but becuase we knew of his sensitivity we were cautious.  Mom does a great job with structure and discipline but she shared wtih us that last week he got in a fight at preschool.  He is also an only child.  I read/heard Dr. Phil say that the father is the most influential male role model for a son and was concerned that dad was not envolved very much. 

  

seeking feedback. 

 
November 10, 2005, 7:44 am CST

General Advice

Quote From: misskanell

My boyfriend has 2 girls. One is his (Alyssa, 10) and the other is his exs' from a previous relationship (Lizzy, 11), but he's the only father she has ever known. They are both really great kids, but there mother has pushed me too far. Last friday I went to pick them up because their dad, my boyfriend, could not get them in time. His ex was not there. I rang the doorbell and Lizzy opened the door and when she did this there was a HORRIBLE smell that came out. It was so bad that I just about threw up on their porch. I could swear it was dead body. Lizzy has mentioned that it is so bad there that she wants to come live with us, but she can't because of the situation. I would call CPS on her because of the house being a disaster, but then she'll go through the state to get more money out of my boyfriend. Right now he pays around $300 a month for Alyssa, if it were to go to court he would be paying well over $1300 a month for her. The $300 is enough to pay for all of her bills, except the house payment. His ex smokes 3 packs a day and is never home. She'll leave for the weekend and not tell anybody she's going or where she's going. The girls usually call me begging for me to pick them up. I have personally taken them shopping and bought them the little stuff that they needed. Both of the girls have told me that they NEED clothes and that "mommy" tells us to ask daddy to buy the clothes for them. How do I get my boyfriends ex (33 yrs old) to grow up and be an adult and take care of these beautiful little girls?? I'm also scared to death someone is going to hurt these girls because the front door looks like it has been busted down.

Hi. 

     I feel for you.  You are in quite a predicament.  If you are concerned about their well being, I would call CPS.  I think you can do it anonymously.  Best of luck to you.  I hope things turn out better. 

  

 
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