Topic : General Advice

Hello, 

I have had my son at a dayhome for 6 months now and everything was going great.  I had total trust and confidence in the dayhome provider.  My son loves it there!  He will greet me at the door when I pick him up with a big "HI YA" and then run back in to keep playing.  Its really comforting to see this.  I know he likes it there!  ONE problem... The provider also takes care of 2 other clients and her grand daughter.  The grand daughter has started biting my son and only my son.  They are both within a month of turning 2 years old.  He has been bitten 5 times in the last month!  Full upper and lower teeth marks.  Twice on the back, twice on the arms and once on the cheek.  The cheek bite happened while the little girl was giving my son a hug and saying sorry for taking a toy away from him.  Apperently while hugging him she just turned her head an got the whole side of his right cheek.  I am trying to work with the provider to offer suggestions like removal of the biter for a time out, from the room completely,  and an apology to the biten.  My son is a real huggy kid.  When I drop him off in the morning he runs with open arms to the provider and hugs + cuddles her,  she comment on how nice that is all the time, which is nice to see the trust there, but I am noticing that when her grand daughter is there she will try to beat my son to her as if to intercept the hug or even prevent it.  It really looks like a jealosy issue!  The provider tries to hug them both and not exclude anyone but when my son is waving at me through the window in her arms as I leave I don't see the grand daughter.  We are all in a tight spot because I am paying $$$ for a safe environment, she is trying to provide it, but I think she is forced to take care of her grand daughter because the mother is a teen mother who works all the time.  So I don't know what to do!  I can't request the agency she works for to remove the child or suspend the child that will perminently damage our relationship and/or hers with her daughter.  I don't want to remove my son from this home, but I am really getting tired of looking for injuries when I see him for the first time at the end of the day!  Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions??? Thanks for you time and sorry for the long message! 

Regards, 

Z  

Thank you for the advice. I have a 14month old daughter who is on a schedule as well. But don't forget to bend a little with it to give them some variation so they don't get bored. Some weeks I will take her on an outing and it might mean that she has to have a nap at a different time.

Hi, 

  

I have a little niece that is going to be two the end of March.  I take care of her during the week while her mother is working.  I am writing because she has been throwing terrible tantrums.  I mean she does not cry she SCREAMS!  And she kicks her feet.  I mean this little girl just lets it all out.  I have got on other web sites to figure out what to do.  When I read those, the descriptions fit what she is doing but the reasons why she does this does not.  In other words, we (think) we have made things pretty easy for her.  She can communicate when she wants something and she will take us to the room she wants something from.  We also try to talk to her and hold her and let her know that we are here to comfort her.  But when we come anywhere near her she screams even louder and tries to hit us and kicks her feet together even more.  If we leave her alone she will scream forever!!!  When she is not throwing one of these fits we praise her so much for being "our good girl!"   My sister gets so frustrated she has no idea what to do.  None of us (my parents included) know what to do.  My sister talked to her pediatrician and he said that she is just showing her independence.  Well that is not quite the advice we are looking for. Presently, she could be considered the middle child. While I'm watching her, I also have my two sons ages 1 year and also 39 months. My niece and my sister live with our parents.  My mother and I feel her language skills are slow in coming. We know we shouldn't compare children but my oldest son was far advanced at this age compared to what she is and my youngest son will soon have a vocabular as large as hers.  Today's most recent example: she layed down to nap for about 2 1/2 hours. When she woke, she started whining and fussing and when we approached her to comfort her, the fussing became all out screams which lasted more than 85 minutes.  At one point we put her in her bedroom to let her cry it out and she eventually slammed the door shut and each time we tried to talk to her about coming out as soon as she stopped, she would just scream louder and slam the door shut again. 

  

  

So please any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

  

Brandy 

  I first got advice on this to put her diaper on backwards since I kept waking up to poop all over my house.  She learned how to take off her diaper backwards.  I decided to put her PJ's on backwards and it worked.  I no longer wake up and step in poop.  It doesn't bother her to wear her PJ's this way so I don't mind for right now letting her.  When we get ready to potty training then I'll figure something out then.

It's really not an easy thing to listen to a tantrum but at the same time it isn't easy comforting them in the process of it either. ignoring is what I have always done with my two and theyhave learned that tantrums get them no where. When they were done throwing a tantrum, I then would try comforting them and talking to them. All kids are different and some take longer then others to get over these things. When she is done witht he tantrum, try giving her hugs and sitting her on your lap and talking softly to her. She is still young and if you are consistent with her and loving her through it all, she will be fine, don't give in toher but be there for her. I know, it is heart breaking, thankfully, my two didn't have too many tantrums but the few that they did have, my emotions too were a bit high, it can be frustrating but they won't last forever, be patient, loving and consistent.

Just a suggestion- you mention that you think her language skills are not where they should be? Perhaps this is something your sister should talk about with her pediatrition, who can then reference her to a specialist. Maybe she tantrums because she is frustrated that she can't communicate well with you. She wants to say, "Juice please," or whatever else, but can't.

My 3 yr old son seems to be afraid of everything, especially at night. He didn't use to be this way. I have monitored what he watches, made sure his older brother doesn't scare him, and installed a dimmer light in his room for a night light. We are constantly reassuring him that there is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes he just says he is afraid, sometimes it is that he is afraid of a particular thing, usually in his imagination. He has a very good imagination, more so than my oldest ever did. It is getting so that he won't go to sleep at night in his room. We moved the boys in together thinking it would help to have his big brother in the room with him. It hasn't helped. He will fall asleep anywhere else, then you can move him to his room and he is fine. At first I thought he was making it up so he didn't have to go to bed at night. But now I don't believe that is the case. If we make him stay in his room in bed he cries and cries. Now during the day when he takes his nap he has never done this, until recently. Then I just told him there was nothing to be afraid of , its light outside, take your nap...he went to bed without the fit...but thats during the day.  

I am not sure what to do about this. He can't sleep in our bed because then my husband and I get no sleep due to his kicking feet. He also can't sleep in our room on the floor because he wakes up when my husband gets ready for work and wants to stay up. We have tried to get him to sleep with his brother, that worked once but not since.  

Any suggestions? Thanks 

To anyone who can help. 

Does anyone know when a child should start to learn colors?  Do you know a website that can kinda show developmental stages?  I used to but my son is 9 now.   

Thank you 

Brandi 

 I need advise on how to keep my two year old in bed, we just started with a toddler bed and i can not keep him in bed. Sometimes it takes up to  two hours to get him to sleep, we have tried sitting with him, closing the door ( that was not good for me when freaked out!), reading, lying down with him alot of nights he ends up in bed with us, and as you can imagine this is not good for our marriage. so any help would  I would love! Thank You!

 I am not a doctor but I would have your sons eyes check if I where you, my son is two and he can tell what some colors are, maybe he is color blind! Hope he is not, but i would check to see if I where you! Lots of Luck!!!!! Pauline