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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 831
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:43:59 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of pre-teens and teens.

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November 3, 2005, 4:35 pm CST

Being an Outcast

Quote From: sadforson

My Son is 16 years old.  He has a heart of gold, is a very handsome young man but has always been somewhat of an outcast with classmates.  In elementary school (3rd grade or so) he was a bit immature, would kind of lash out when no one would play with him etc.  He is now in 11th grade and still does not have many friends.  My son has been a bully target.  He's been called Gay, (which is a classic High School name) My husband and I have been to the school on several occasions....most of the time it hurts him more than it helps him.  My heart aches so much for him....he really doesn't deserve to be treated this way.  He is loved and respected by his teachers, his elders and his family, he just cant shake this reputation he has in school.  It may sound stupid, but I feel like because he is such a nice kid....he gets treated like dirt.  We are a close family of 5, have always had great communication with our children, we sit together as a family for dinner...all the things that help a family grow and stay close.  I will admit that my husband and I worry more than this about our son does, he tells us all the time not to worry and that he is ok.  If there is anyone going through this same type of thing with any of their children, please reply to this post.   Thank you from a heart broken and concerned mom.
Well, I'm not sure this will help, but maybe some kind of out of school activity, like kick boxing or something like that.Something to get his or your mind of  what is going on at school.Maybe if the kids know he is doing something like that they will leave him alone.Your son sounds like a wounderful kid I hope I have helped you and go luck and try not to worrie.
 
November 3, 2005, 5:13 pm CST

I hate to be the one to tell you

Quote From: nicole984

.... but your son is hiding something. its not to long ago that i was living with my parents, and the only time i had a problem with them going in there, is when there was something in there i didnt want then to see. hes 17 years old.  but i gree with you, its your house, and he needs to obey your rules. but, you might want to study him a little, to see if he is hiding something. i might be wrong, but it seems about right to me.
I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO SCREAMS AT ME EVERY TIME I GO IN HER ROOM.SHE SAYS WHAT DO YOU WANT ? Well, little mis i dont have to have a reason to go into your room its my house and i pay the bills! I go into her room to clean or  bring her ,her laundry i look around to see if theirs something different or something out of place.I say its your house, then its your room and you can enter when ever you want to. I try not to go through her things unless a i have funny feeling.I DO TRUST HER BUT NOW A DAYS YOU CANT BE TO CAREFUL.B E STRONG AND TELL HIM YOU ARE COMMING TO HIS ROOM.  Not to snop but to clean or what ever you need to do.
 
November 3, 2005, 5:26 pm CST

shutting alarm off

Quote From: nabgirl

My Daughter is 13. She is starting a new habit of cutting her alarm off in the morning and going back to sleep. Is this a big deal? Shouldn't it be her responsibility to get herself up? I'm not sure how to punigh her. 

Thank You 

I have 14 year old daughter who does the  did the same thing, I told her if you miss the bus then you will have to walk to school and no note for tardy.Well, that was all i had to say and it worked. GOOD LUCK!!! 
 
November 4, 2005, 7:39 am CST

what to do

I was wondering if anyone can tell me how to let go. I have 5 kids and the oldest of 20 just moved out a month ago. I am having a really hard time with this, I want to know everything and I know i have no right. But we use to talk all the time and now I am the last one she seems to talk to. I know I really have to let go and let her find her own life but I am scared she has stopped loving and needing me.  I feel like i need to stay at home in case she wants to come see me. Very need of help.
 
November 6, 2005, 7:20 pm CST

help with 12 year old daughter

Hi i am a stay at home mother of 4.I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND I DESPERATELY NEED HELP.SHE IS OUT OF CONTROL AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME .SHE IS BULLYING THE GIRLS AT SCHOOL AND BEATING UP HER YOUNGER SIBLINGS AT HOME WHICH RANGE IN AGE 2-9. SHE IS PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE TO ME AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO THE ENTIRE FAMILY.SHE IS FAILING IN SCHOOL AND SAYS SHE DOESNT CARE.I AM SCARED FOR MY YOUNGER CHILDREN FOR FEAR SHE MIGHT DO SERIOUS PHYSICAL HARM.SHE CALLS ME NAMES[CUSS WORDS] AND IS SPIRILING OUT OF CONTROL.SOME PARENTS OF HER CLASSMATES HAVE CALLED THE SCHOOL ON HER FOR BULLYING AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WE HAVE TRIED COUNSELORS BUT THEY ALL SAY SHE HAS TO BE WILLING TO TALK.ANY ADVICE ANYONE WOULD HAVE WOULD BE MORE THAN GREATLY APPRECIATED.I AM ABOUT READY TO LOSE MY MIND
 
November 7, 2005, 5:10 am CST

General Advice

My son is 11 y.o. and in the 6th grade.  He's not into many of the things boys his age are into, particularly sports.  However, he does enjoy the video games.  I would say he is socially immature for his age and doesn't quite know how to interact with boys his age.  He has a small group of friends and often he's the one calling them to play, not the other way around.  We keep trying to get him to try different activities so he'll get familiar with kids who like the same things.  He's in the band, he likes art club but he's not into much else.  He doesn't even seem interested.  Overall, he's a happy kid and loves his life.  He loves school but is starting to notice he is struggling socially with the boys and is getting frustrated.  I'm at a loss as to how to help him.  I'd really be worried if he didn't seem happy.  He's an only child so his ability to interact with adults is terrific.  We keep telling ourselves that he'll be an adult alot longer then a child and if he already has that ability he'll do just fine.  We just need to weather the adolescent years.  But I'm wondering what I can do to help him at this stage.  Should I force him to do things?  Any advice would be very helpful.
 
November 9, 2005, 2:58 am CST

General Advice

Quote From: pcoronite

My son is 11 y.o. and in the 6th grade.  He's not into many of the things boys his age are into, particularly sports.  However, he does enjoy the video games.  I would say he is socially immature for his age and doesn't quite know how to interact with boys his age.  He has a small group of friends and often he's the one calling them to play, not the other way around.  We keep trying to get him to try different activities so he'll get familiar with kids who like the same things.  He's in the band, he likes art club but he's not into much else.  He doesn't even seem interested.  Overall, he's a happy kid and loves his life.  He loves school but is starting to notice he is struggling socially with the boys and is getting frustrated.  I'm at a loss as to how to help him.  I'd really be worried if he didn't seem happy.  He's an only child so his ability to interact with adults is terrific.  We keep telling ourselves that he'll be an adult alot longer then a child and if he already has that ability he'll do just fine.  We just need to weather the adolescent years.  But I'm wondering what I can do to help him at this stage.  Should I force him to do things?  Any advice would be very helpful.

I have a son that is a 11 years old and is just like your son. He just likes doing things he does and does not seem to be interested in any of the other stuff the guys are his age. As long as he is happy and get good grades. I would not force him into anything, My older son was just like this and once he got older he was more interested in things and did more like his classmates. But to me they are finding who they are at this age and I believe they will be leaders not followers. Because they do what they enjoy. He will become more social with age and I would just keep a close eye on him and keep the commication open. As long as he is doing fine then just enjoy him as he is.  They grow up so fast , we must enjoy them each an everyday. 

 Hope this helps. 

Mrs406 

 
November 9, 2005, 5:07 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: tray00

I wish I didn't lite up when I was 14 or so.  I think it will eventually go away for you.  I have been smoking for 15 yrs on and off, I am 31 now.  I wish I could quit!  Please don't start.  It is bad for you, and it is expensive.  Just think when you are 30 yrs old and have a wife and kids, and a morgage and bills, and car payment and you want to have cool clothes for your kids and expensive clothes to keep them in style, you may not have the extra money to do that because you will need your money to support your smoking habit! 

Please quit smoking now before it is too late.  At the age of 46 I had my first heart attack which could have been avoided it only I did not smoke.  Since the first attack I had three more attacks until I finally saw the light and quit cold turkey.  I have not had a cigarette in five years and have not had any heart attacks since then.  My husband call me the cat with 9 lives.  I only have 5 lives left.  I do not want to live them attached to an oxygen tank like my mother.  It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I have more money in my pocket and I smell much better.  

  

Prayer is very helpful and your doctor can help also. 

  

A thirty year smoker that quit cold turkey 

  

Mel 

 
November 10, 2005, 7:13 am CST

17 year old son

My 17 year old son, a senior in high school, wants to drive, along with his buddy, from Harrisburg PA to Virginia Tech University to visit his cousin.  This is a 325 mile trip one way.  They plan on staying in the dorm with the cousin.  His dad and I both told him it is too long of a trip at his age.  Not to mention the price of gas these days, which he plans to pay for, and the fact that the cousin will be home for Thanksgiving Break soon.  I told him we would go pick the cousin up when it is thanksgiving break, but that did not fly.  I feel he wants to be independent, but he just does not seem to understand the horrible things that can happen on a read trip like that.  Anybody have any opinions on this? 

  

tharing 

 
November 12, 2005, 12:14 am CST

Is 14 too young?

Hi, 

  

I'm not a parent myself, but I have a question for those of you that are.  Do you think 14 is too young to be working at McDonald's?  In Canada it's legal.  I remember having babysitting jobs at that age, but I'm wondering if a 14 yo is old enough to handle the real day to day of working.  It's my friend's daughter.  Any opinions or am I just old fashioned? 

 
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