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Topic : General Advice

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:43:59 pm
Author : dataimport

Share advice and support with other parents of pre-teens and teens.



 
bendlady
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September 30, 2005, 12:51 pm PDT

Not sure if my 1st messege posted

i left a messege and don't see it anywhere, does it take time to post or something?
 
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bendlady
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September 30, 2005, 1:54 pm PDT

Please Help Me , I need Information

Please bear with me this may get a little long. I am needing advise on what to do about a neglagent Dr. I have a 12 year old son that has ADD. I never wanted him on medication for this. Last year he got into trouble at school which resulted in a mental evaluation for anger and a visit to the pediatrician. Not his Dr. tho. I had to take him to the only Dr. that addresses ADD. She evaluated all the paper work from myself and teachers. Tried to talk with my son but he told her "You can't make me speek" She said "you are right, i can't. And if you wont speek whats on your mind than no one will be able to tell if you are becoming angry so you will be put on medication to prevent you from getting angry"  He simply replyed by sitting in a chair, pulling the hood from his sweatshirt over his head and stared at the DR. I told the Dr. I didn't want my child put on stimulants. She said ok we wont give him the one pill for anger yet, we will only give him a non stimulant for the ADD to help him in school. So I agreed. @ weeks later i called the Dr. to tell her he seemed more emotional than before and that was the only change. So she said that she was going to have to change the medicine to a stimulant and give him somthing for anger. I was not ok with this but she said it was the only way to insure he waould not get into trouble he couldn't get out of. So I agreed. I was told nothing about the 2 drugs she prescribed to my child. The pharmasist explained the basic side effects, loss of appitite, difficulty sleeping, a little more emotional. All things i could deal with. He has now been on these pills for almost a year now and has not been seen by the Dr. sence the very first visit. I have only ever got her to return 2 phone calls, and i have made many. I researched these drugs and am horrified at what the possible sudden side effects are after long term use,  Stroke, Heart attack, Kidney Failier, Suicide! The 2 medications are Adderall XR 30mg and Risperdal .5 mg in am & 1mg in pm.  Ricky started out on 10 mg of the Adderall XR and 4 months ago i picked up his prescription and it was upped to 30. No one asked me or talked to me about my son she just did it. But the bad part is that she didn't even know she upped it. When i called to ask about the differnt mg. she actually returned the call and said she didn't relieze she had upped the mg. and didn't log it either but said to give him the new mg. that it was normal. Is that normal? give children pills that can kill them and not ever even take a pulse?  It's very scary to me and I don't know what to do about this. I don't want my son on these pills but the side effects of not giving them to him are also to risky to not, he has to be takin off by lowering the dose gradualy but i can't even get her to return a call...HELP!!! Thank you
 
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averagegrl
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September 30, 2005, 10:56 pm PDT

hello

Quote From: jencofresi

my 13 yr old is the oldest of 5.  4 boys 1 girl.  any advice on how to handle up coming puberty??  or anything on helping him to become responsible.  He shows very little responsibility of anything.
hey I am a teenage girl who has two older brothers who I am very close to. With me, i dont get along with my parents.... so i lie to get out of things.. and when i get bad grades, i dont want to tell them, cuz i dont want to get yelled at. so i just dont tell them.. my main advice is stay close but dont ever get too far apart to the point that he will lie to you.. and if u mess up with him, then all the rest will follow. Good Luck...
 
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jamalldeb
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October 5, 2005, 6:59 pm PDT

what do i do

What do you do when the bullies are the police and the justice system?  What do you do when you live your life right, your kids do everything the way they should (go to school, work, volunteer at the ages of 14 and 15) and someone comes along and tells you your son has done something you know he hasn't done and your family's life is turned into a living hell for 4 months and more?
 
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nabgirl

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October 6, 2005, 1:58 pm PDT

How do I punish my teenager for not getting herself up for school?

My Daughter is 13. She is starting a new habit of cutting her alarm off in the morning and going back to sleep. Is this a big deal? Shouldn't it be her responsibility to get herself up? I'm not sure how to punigh her. 

Thank You 
 
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bendlady
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October 7, 2005, 3:49 pm PDT

General Advice

Quote From: nabgirl

My Daughter is 13. She is starting a new habit of cutting her alarm off in the morning and going back to sleep. Is this a big deal? Shouldn't it be her responsibility to get herself up? I'm not sure how to punigh her. 

Thank You 

my son is 12 and also responsible for getting himself up on time for school. If he is late to school because he over slept than i do not give him a note to make it an excussed tardy. He then has to serve a detintion at school to make up for the tardy. I don't punish at home for this, I let the school follow through with there policies.
 
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tray00
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October 9, 2005, 8:49 am PDT

Alarms

Quote From: nabgirl

My Daughter is 13. She is starting a new habit of cutting her alarm off in the morning and going back to sleep. Is this a big deal? Shouldn't it be her responsibility to get herself up? I'm not sure how to punigh her. 

Thank You 

I was just reading the reply from the other lady and wanted to add something....so what if your child ended up sleeping unitl noon that day, you can't let the school deal with that.  I would say she should go to bed earlier.  So for every 30 minutes she is late getting up fo to bed 15 minutes earlier.  Or something along those lines, go the full fledge if you like 30 mintues equals 30 min's.  You have to take control of thisbefore she thinks she can sleep all day.  I do think that once a child hits a certain age it is thier job to get themselves up but they do need a bit of guidance, and the guidance might be setting an earlier bed time so they can get up on their own.  My son is 15 and once in a blue moon I have to wake him up, (maybe once every 3 months).
 
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tray00
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October 9, 2005, 8:59 am PDT

General Advice

Quote From: bendlady

Please bear with me this may get a little long. I am needing advise on what to do about a neglagent Dr. I have a 12 year old son that has ADD. I never wanted him on medication for this. Last year he got into trouble at school which resulted in a mental evaluation for anger and a visit to the pediatrician. Not his Dr. tho. I had to take him to the only Dr. that addresses ADD. She evaluated all the paper work from myself and teachers. Tried to talk with my son but he told her "You can't make me speek" She said "you are right, i can't. And if you wont speek whats on your mind than no one will be able to tell if you are becoming angry so you will be put on medication to prevent you from getting angry"  He simply replyed by sitting in a chair, pulling the hood from his sweatshirt over his head and stared at the DR. I told the Dr. I didn't want my child put on stimulants. She said ok we wont give him the one pill for anger yet, we will only give him a non stimulant for the ADD to help him in school. So I agreed. @ weeks later i called the Dr. to tell her he seemed more emotional than before and that was the only change. So she said that she was going to have to change the medicine to a stimulant and give him somthing for anger. I was not ok with this but she said it was the only way to insure he waould not get into trouble he couldn't get out of. So I agreed. I was told nothing about the 2 drugs she prescribed to my child. The pharmasist explained the basic side effects, loss of appitite, difficulty sleeping, a little more emotional. All things i could deal with. He has now been on these pills for almost a year now and has not been seen by the Dr. sence the very first visit. I have only ever got her to return 2 phone calls, and i have made many. I researched these drugs and am horrified at what the possible sudden side effects are after long term use,  Stroke, Heart attack, Kidney Failier, Suicide! The 2 medications are Adderall XR 30mg and Risperdal .5 mg in am & 1mg in pm.  Ricky started out on 10 mg of the Adderall XR and 4 months ago i picked up his prescription and it was upped to 30. No one asked me or talked to me about my son she just did it. But the bad part is that she didn't even know she upped it. When i called to ask about the differnt mg. she actually returned the call and said she didn't relieze she had upped the mg. and didn't log it either but said to give him the new mg. that it was normal. Is that normal? give children pills that can kill them and not ever even take a pulse?  It's very scary to me and I don't know what to do about this. I don't want my son on these pills but the side effects of not giving them to him are also to risky to not, he has to be takin off by lowering the dose gradualy but i can't even get her to return a call...HELP!!! Thank you

I don't mean to come down on you, but you said you havent' seen this doctor for a year, and you have phoned her?  From what I know about Dr's is they don't have time for phone calls and for the most part they don't get paid for phone calls.  However they do get paid when you go into the office.  It would be your job as a parent to take your child into the office.  Also maybe it was a mistake to up the dose, did anyone call the doctor to make sure that is what the does should of been?   

  

As a mother, I think I would go to another Doctor, and tell the new Dr why and what you expect of them.  Ask questions about the drugs?  The pharmacy can give you a print out of the drugs?  Do some internet research find a board on this site with other parents with ADD children, or make your own.  Get informed. 

  

I would try to get into seeing another Dr as soon as posible, and go in person not over the phone. 

  

Good luck! 
 
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bendlady
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October 10, 2005, 2:23 pm PDT

General Advice

Quote From: tray00

I don't mean to come down on you, but you said you havent' seen this doctor for a year, and you have phoned her?  From what I know about Dr's is they don't have time for phone calls and for the most part they don't get paid for phone calls.  However they do get paid when you go into the office.  It would be your job as a parent to take your child into the office.  Also maybe it was a mistake to up the dose, did anyone call the doctor to make sure that is what the does should of been?   

  

As a mother, I think I would go to another Doctor, and tell the new Dr why and what you expect of them.  Ask questions about the drugs?  The pharmacy can give you a print out of the drugs?  Do some internet research find a board on this site with other parents with ADD children, or make your own.  Get informed. 

  

I would try to get into seeing another Dr as soon as posible, and go in person not over the phone. 

  

Good luck! 

In response to the the last response. I clearly stated that I can't go to see another Dr. because This DR. is the ONLY one in my area that is qualified to deal with ADD. The dose upping was also clearly stated that I did discuss this with the DR. and she admitted it was a mistake but she chose to leave the MG.'s at the higher dose. I also stated that I did research the drugs and that's how I found out the severe side effects. A DR. will only see you on app. basis and if the DR. says it isn't nessesery than no appointment is given, therefore going into the office would be useful only in waisting time. 
 
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reneed
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October 11, 2005, 9:30 pm PDT

Daughter is Distant

My 15 yr. old whom I love so much is so distant with me. She mostly interacts with me when she has to. She will answer direct questions. She hides her emotions. When I tell her that I love her (atleast once a day) or try to hug her or pat her, any physical touch, she pushes away. In the past she has been rude & disrespectful and often still is. I have tried rewarding her, punishing her, counseling. It is stressful to live in the same house without any positive interaction. Any ideas????????? This started 2 years ago. when I discovered ( 6mos after the change in behavior/attitude)she was being stalked by an 18 yr. old schoolmate, (who she liked) he was a cutter & sucidal (& sucessful 5 mos ago). After taking legal action against him & tranferring her to another school this attitude with my daughter started getting worseand still today she is silent with me
 
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