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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 2034
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:46:09 pm
Author : dataimport
Have a question or problem concerning your child? Share advice and support with other parents.

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September 27, 2008, 8:22 pm CDT

General Advice

Quote From: barbararoute

I have a 12 year old stepson and he has been playing tag football for 7 years. Since he began he had dreams of playing for a highschool tackle team. My husband and I put him on a tackle team and he has hated it from the beginning because it hurts( he has never been one for pain). I feel he should stay in and ride it out the season even if on the bench but our problem is it takes up a huge amount of time during the week for him to just sit, three 2 hour prac per week, three hour games on sat. My husband says let him quit. Any opinions?

The rule in  my house growing up was... no quitting. You start, you finish. I am 43 years old now and I really believe this made an impact on me... I knew once I started something, even if I ended up dreading going, I HAD to finish and knew it was up to ME to make the best of it, not have my parents bail me out. Of course, I didn't really "get that" until later in life. I learned to be very sure in whatever I picked to do was what I wanted..not something I could just quit..it gave me a sense of commtiment and responsibility which we know plays out in marriage and career...besides the "pain" is good for him, makes him MAN UP...ha.

 

Besides he is part of a TEAM, no "I" in Team, right? Sorry, couldn't resist, You know he will hear this quote someday, best it come from you...even if benchwarmer or waterboy...still part of the team. I know it would be nice to have your time back but the lesson needs to be implemented...commitment.

 

 
October 14, 2008, 8:37 am CDT

Teaching your child responsibility

I have a 9 year-old son who is absolutely the best child you could hope for. In spite of what I'm about to ask he is the type of child who truly wants to do well and make everyone happy. Until this year he has been an "A" student.  His grades are starting to slip dramatically for silly things such as: he recently got a "D" on a Science test because he didn't hear his teacher say it was open-book (and didn't notice his peers all had their books out". I can ask him to write a sentence for each vocabulary word and he will go write his spelling words 5 times each. How do I teach my child to pay attention and be more responsible? I'm typically pretty good at teaching my children but I'm losing this battle.

 

 
October 15, 2008, 9:58 am CDT

my 21 month doesn't listen

I am a mother of a 21 month old and a two month old.  My 21 month old refuses to listen to me.  He isn't talking yet  or showing any signs of wanting to talk.  But he can throw a really good temper tantrum. 
 
October 15, 2008, 10:24 am CDT

A frustrated mother of two

 
October 16, 2008, 4:37 pm CDT

Parenting Conflict

My husband and I are having a big disagreement.  I do not want to leave our young kids at his parents' house because they have an ungated pool.  He thinks I am being ridiculous, but I  know the statistics for kids drowning in such situations.  I have tried to compromise by saying the kids can be at the house if one of us is also present, or the grandparents can come to our house.  Any thoughts on how to resolve this?  I can't believe he and his parents do not see how dangerous this is.
 
November 8, 2008, 2:54 pm CST

Custody Battle that should never be !!!!!

I am 43 years old, a mother of 1 wonderful 14 1/2 years old daughter. I have been divorced for 5 1/2 years now. My X is a control freek to put it mildly.

To give you some background, I was not a greedy woman during the divorce, I did not ask for alimony, nor money from him receiving his college degree during our 12 year marriage. All I asked was that he took care of Our Daughter. I even lowered the child support amount as my X stated he couldn't possibly live if he had to pay that amount, I felt bad so against my attorney's advise I did lessen the Child Support amount.

MY X travels for his job, for the past 5 1/2 years I have worked with his travel schedule, changing my schedule around a the drop of a hat as I knew this was his job.

My X has been re-married for almost 2 years now, which I thought would be a blessing, unforubately it isn't.

Now that I am dating someone and can't meet every change he demands when he demands it, he gets angry and nasty.

My X is a control freek, and a master at twisting the truth around! He also has a very bad temper, I'll stop by stating that!

Now after 5 1/2 years my X is sueing me for "SOLE CUSTODY!" 

I suffer from migraines and have since the age of 17. So I do take medicine at times for my headaches.

My X has turned it around and using this for his reason for filing for "SOLE CUSTODY" is that I am a drug addict, and the worse of it all he told our daughter Mommy is a drug addict and Daddy is taking Mommy to court to get her help! 

I now have paid an attorney so far $5,000.00 for which I don't have, I have been drug tested, I go back to court on this Monday.

How is it that even when I will have passed this drug test, he can continue to pursue for "SOLE CUSTODY?" 

I find this entire system unbelieve that an innocent Mother has to go through a court battle fight for her child, when the entire case is based upon lye after lye? And I have to prove my innocence?

I now lost my job due to mthe fact, I'm upset all the time, the thought of being told I've lost my daughter whom is my life, is completely unbarrable, and to know the lyes she being fed about het own mother, I even notice she looks at me differently now. How am I ever going to explain to my daughter the truth, I'm so scared I'm not even sure if she realizes how much I love her, the love between a mother and child is unconditional, but yet it can be broken by a bunch of lyes fed to the child? 

My in family court is it that your guilty until you prove yourself innocent?

And let's not forget all the lies his told my daughter about me, and to ensure his case, his now buying her love, he purchased a New Truck, and told my daughter when she's sixteen it's her's, he purchased her a Dolce & Gabbana for $200.00.

My daughter is my life, I go every cheer competition, football game, basketball game, etc.

Her father and his wife have gone to nothing! I'm not saying his not a good father but yto do this to his daughter so "I pay him Child Support, and because he promised his new wife that she would be my daughter's mother, were is the justice?

How is it I need to prove all of his false allegations are complete lies, why am I the one who ends up looking like the bad mother when I've done nothing wrong? Why am I up every night crying, scared that I'll lose my daughter to a bunch of lies?

How is this system far? How is my daughter ever going to have a care free normal happy childe hood mafter going through this, and being told all these lies about her own mother?   

My daughter is in her first year of High School, this should be the happiest time of her life, instead her father has sacred her for life!

How do I keep it together and pull myself out of bed in the morning, when I close my eyes at night I have the fear I've already lost her, when I wake in the morning I wonder if today is the day her father will WIN, because he always wins... Help me understand how to keep the faith when I've done nothing wrong, but I am looked at as though I've done everything wrong???     

 
November 8, 2008, 4:11 pm CST

Thank you!

Quote From: jaimie1974

Im sorry for all that you have to go through, but dont give up the fight! When you do prove your innocence, it will show that your ex is guilty of parental alienation; I urge you to look that term up, talk to your attorney about it, and begin filing your own legal claims regarding it. It is a serious offense in the probate court system. I wish you the best, do not hang your head or act any different because you have nothing to be ashamed of!
From the bottom of my heart thank you! I am going to approach my attorney regarding parental alienation. Thanks for listening and responding. It means the world to know, when I'm feeling alone  I have people out there who carethanks to Dr. Phil & you!
 
November 12, 2008, 7:50 pm CST

Need advice for 13 year old daughter

I have a 13 year old daughter, whom for the most part is a very sweet, nice girl. But over the past year, I have really noticed her attitude changing. She can be so rude to me and very short tempered. Quick to get angry,  likes to interrupt and overtalk me when I am talking to her, will just say"fine forget it" and walk away and just gets angry very easily. I find myself telling her quite alot that she is very mean and rude to me and very disrepectful and ask her why she treats me (my husband to, but mostly me) this way. I think she feels bad, she doesn't really say anything. I feel bad for telling her she is mean to me, but she really is and I tell her I would have never dared to treat my mother this way. Now, keep in mind when we are having this conversation, there is no yelling involved or anything. I don't want to elevate the situation. I do tell her that if she keeps up her attitude she is going to be grounded from being at friends houses, which she loves to do.  I guess what I would love to know is this quite normal behavior for 13 year old girls? How long does this "attitude " last and am I saying the right things or what can I do better?  I also have a 14 and 8 year old girls and been happily married 19 years. Really an otherwise happy household!!  I am just stuck on this one!!  Thank you!!
 
December 17, 2008, 11:42 am CST

General Advice

Dr Phil

 

I am having trouble with my 19 year old son and I'm at such a loss.  I realize that he is 19 and he can hit the road at anytime, my doors are not locked from the inside out.  My son constantly talks to me like I am trash.  Nothing is good enough for my son.  I don't provide enough groceries.  The house is not cleaned enough.  When his car isn't running he expects me to borrow and vehicle from my boyfriend until he gets his taken care of.  He gets upset when we limit the amount of friends that are over because we can't get into the driveway with all their cars.  Everytime that I speak to him he looks at my like I'm speaking  a foreign language and gives me a look of disgust.  I cry often and feel like a failure even though I know different.   This is actually just the a few of the problems and I am just looking for any kind of suggestions. When and how do you say enough is enough and its time for you to go, especially when you know that can't afford to go anywhere

 

Lost

 
December 17, 2008, 12:14 pm CST

Kindergarten troubles

I have a six year old who is bright & active - he has been having a hard time focusing lately and has been sloppily completing or not even competing his work at school.  He has made a habit of saying lately how stupid he is and that he hates himself.  What should I do?
 
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