Topic : General Advice

I don't know your individual situation, but if you co-sign a loan, you are equally responsible for making sure that it gets paid.  Make sure that you have the means to pay the loan if your daughter fails to.

 

We have co-signed on $40,000 in student loans for our oldest son, for culinary school...and we really hope that he is successful after he graduates, so he can pay the loans...when he was in an apartment, he paid his rent and power bill on time every month...when his hours at work were cut back, my brother and his wife decided to let him live there in exchange for him being their personal chef...it is always in the back of our minds...the situation where he might not pay...so we will be actively involved in helping him find a chef job when he graduates.

 

Has your daughter been checking out schools and careers?  Local community colleges cost less than universities, and many of them now have links to the major universities, so a full 4 year degree can be obtained without leaving town.  And most colleges and community colleges have career counselors, and aptitude tests to see what the best career choices might be...it is important that she chooses something that she is really interested in.

 

I don't think there is any type of insurance that covers parents when their child doesn't pay a co-signed loan...just make sure that you don't co-sign anything that you yourselves can't afford to pay.

 

Becky

      My name is Ray i am the proud father of 3 beautiful boys 12-9-4 i have an ADHD son who was born premature at 24 weeks he was 1 pound 6 ounces.

     I can't tell you enough about how your messages has helped me to be a better parent i have a parent advice group listed below for those parents who are looking for additional advise just click for more information.Thank You

 

 

       

As a parent, I understand how you feel. Of course, you want to help your daughter- you only want the very best for her. However, she has to want this for herself as well. I know that it is difficult to say “no,” but, that is my advice to you. Your daughter isn’t keeping up with the deal she made with you in regards to the $4,000 that she owes you; what in the world would keep her motivated to pay you this money if she defaulted?
You are not the person who is keeping your daughter from going to college. Do not put that weight upon yourself! There is only one person who is keeping your daughter from going to college and that is her! She should NOT be jumping into college with both feet, spending so much money all at once. That is comparable to straight-out asking for trouble. Instead, your daughter should be taking ONE class in the up-coming semester, and if she enjoys it, and if she does well, then she can take two classes, and so on. This way, she is “getting her feet wet,” while NOT racking up a huge bill. If she does well in school, she can apply for scholarships. There are many different kinds of scholarships offered, and it is so very helpful to have that money!
You ask if there is any protection for parents “who want to help their child succeed…” in regards to the student loan. The answer is NO. If your daughter does not pay, then you have to pay. They do not mess around, either- you will never, ever receive a tax return again, and they will garnish your wages. People have lost homes and businesses because of defaulting on student loans; do not allow yourself to end up one of those stories!
Again, it is understandable that you want to help your child. Of course you do; you love her and care about her. But sometimes you have to say no, and you have to push them out on their own. Encourage your daughter; tell her that you have faith in her, that you know she will do great, and that you are excited for her bright future. BUT, you can’t co-sign for her. Suggest to her what I have suggested above, and note her reaction. If she has a temper tantrum, then you have to know in your heart that you’ve done the right thing, because that isn’t the reaction of a person who would be appreciative and respectful. If she accepts the suggestion and says that she will consider it, again, know that you’ve made the right choice.
I wish you the best! Please come back and tell us how everything is going!

I have physical custody and we have joint legal custody. He has "open, reasonable, and liberal visitation" while in the area (he lives in Europe). I don't think that I can't deny him visitation, unless I go back to court. He is very argumentative about my proposed visitation schedule, which is visiting her for the day for three consecutives days in the town where I live, then taking her out of town for three days and nights to attend his wedding. He wants to take her out of town for almost a week, which I feel is too long. I am uncomfortable with all of it, but I feel like I have to allow what I am proposing.

I keep my  yard clean  it is the parents from the school who park in my driveway and use  my  yard  as there personal garbage dump  and block  my  acesse to  my own property.They make my yard a mess and fill my garbage  can  up.I got  in trouble for there GARBAGE and  one turned over yard swing from a bad  STORM THE NIGHT. So  i feel if the school wants to tell me how I should keep my   yard they should keep  there parents from making the mess on my property and blocking my acsess.

The key word in the visitation is “reasonable.”
Taking your four year old child out of her element, to a place where you will have no contact with her, is unreasonable. It could be a very bad parenting on your part to allow him to take her. Just because he is argumentative doesn’t mean that you give in to his demands; as a mother, it is your job to keep your children safe. There is no doubt that your children want and need their father in their lives- that isn’t the issue in this situation. The issue is that he wants to take a very young child away from you for too long, with no contact. Be strong and stand up for what you know is right! You are stronger then you think, you can say no and mean it- don’t be afraid of him!

My yardis in good shape   but like most people  stuff happens .I do pick up there mess but I should have  to  pay extra fee o garbGE   for  there   garbage..They have a  parking lot   but  parentsblock  my  property  so bad  at times   we   have problems  making apointments.She  has   to  pull her cAR  OUTAND  PARK  IT  TWO OR  THRE BLOCKS  FROM   THE  HOUSE  TO MAKE  SURE  SHE  CAN   MAKE IT  ON  TIME ..SIGHNS  DON'T WORK .They  have even blocked  my nieghbor  and made her late  to wrok..Iwoke  upone  morning  to  the  school  tringto  build  a cross walk  right  next   to my driveway.I had to call  the city   to stop it  the city apoligized  andsiad it was the schools idea  andthere was not  meeting  onthe issue cause the school  wanted it at  the  last minate.We  were warned the  scool will try agian for  the   cross  walk  cause  it   fits i  with   there remodle..If  it   is  done  we   will   not  be  able  to use  our  driveway..When  thekids  were  very  young   they  had  trikes   and  bikes   they  put  them  in  our  propert   a  lady parked  in  my driveway   and  knocked  over the bikes  came  to  my  door  and told  me  her   new car  was  scratched  I told her  this was orivate  property   not  schools  propery  get  off   my  kids  have  aright  to park  there bikes   here she  does  not   I  never  gave  her  or anyone  else the   right  to park her   she  left   in  a  huff.. I  have  a  right to  mypropery   and  not have  my  GARBAGE  BIN OVER  FILLED WITH  JUNK!!!!  dO YOU GET  IT111

why dont you try asking her why  she feels her real life isnt good enuff and has to lie about it. does she feel she doesnt measure up to some standard ,is someone making her feel small and she has to build herself up,is she afraid of real feelings?i've noticed that people who lie do not feel good about themselves. make sure youpraise her when she does something rite, point out her talents, abilities, and how your family is complete with her in it!!! best of luck

For the excess garbage...if you pick it up, put it in the SCHOOL'S DUMPSTER.

 

For the cross walk and parking problems, try attending a school board meeting to voice your complaints.  People have no right to block people's property, and if it is school parents doing it, the school board might be able to help.

 

In the mean time, keep the rake and garbage bags handy.  Maybe you should get some of those orange pylons to put in front of your yard...

Thanks  for  the advise.  I  hadn't   thought  about that.  I  will do that..