Topic : General Advice

It is common for many families to have pets in their home, whether they are cats, dogs, birds, snakes, and so on. They are treated as a member of the family. In a survey, conducted by the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association in 2007 it is estimated that 71.1 million American households own at least one pet. The most popular pets for families are cats and dogs.


However, since some animals have a very short life span than humans, it is common for a family’s beloved pets to pass away early on in life. This can be very difficult for adults, especially for children. If a child was raised with a family pet it is common for their affection to grow deeply for them. So if a pet dies, either from old age or by an accident, parents can help their children cope with the loss, since some children, depending on their age, would have difficulty understanding why they won’t be seeing them anymore.


For parents this can be difficult, because they don’t want their children to experience painful memories. So to avoid this they lie by telling their child that the animal “ran away” or “was put to sleep.” Doing this can actually cause more damage and confusion to the child.


For example, if they are told that their pet ran away they will assume that the pet will come back one day. Or if they are told that the animal “was put to sleep”, they might end up suffering from sleep anxiety. So the best advice is to be honest with them.


According to an article titled, “Explaining Pet Loss to Children: Six Do’s and Don’ts”, suggests to “help your children understand what dying means. Tells them it’s ok to grieve and share with them your feelings too. Let your child’s teachers be aware of the loss, so that they understand why your child is acting different. Don’t blame God or anyone else for the reason why the animal died, because this might cause the child to become bitter at heart. Also, do not rush into buying another animal as a quick replacement. Wait until after the grieving process or until the child expresses interest in another pet.”


From personal experience, the best advice is to focus more on the joyful memories the family had with their beloved pet, rather than focusing on the animal’s death.

 

Written by: Bridget Campos

Links: http://bridgetcampos.blogspot.com/

http://sahmanswers.com/news.php?readmore=675

“My child can be so sweet and loveable. Then all of a sudden, they will lash out for no reason at all. I just don’t understand why?” For some households, situations like this happen. Some parents have to deal with aggressive behavior from their little ones and/or teens almost on a daily basis. Is there any way to cope with the problem?

In order to find out the solution we need to know what causes aggression. Many psychologists have several viewpoints as to the cause of aggression. Some feel that aggression is intentional injury or causing harm towards another person. While others believe that the behavior in born within us, like that of animals, that has a cause and effect as to why a person reacts in an aggressive manner.

Some may ask, is there any way to stop being angry? No, since as humans, we are born with emotions that make us happy, sad, and angry; it would be difficult to stop being angry all together. In an article in Health magazine by Dr. Georgia Witkin-Lanoil explains: “As the brain reacts to an infuriating event, the autonomic nervous system is aroused. Adrenaline, released from the adrenal glands, begins to pour into the bloodstream, increasing heart rate and respiration, and stimulating the release of stored sugars for energy. Actions we take under the influence of our own adrenaline are often overreactions. We scream, hurl hateful semi-truths, hit, and damage, destroy, or leave the scene in a huff.” Therefore, it is an inward inclination to be angry over an event or something we have no control over.

But we have to keep in mind that peoples level of temperaments vary, and some of us appear to be more prone to anger than others. Ones that display high levels of anger are teenagers. Some of them turn to violence in order to cope with family problems, or, are involved in gangs, drug abuse, and/or suffering from mental illnesses.

In addition, younger children can display high levels of violence. Most of the factors that contribute to such violence in children are from either being exposed to actual violence, like for example, between family members, or violence on television, which has increased dramatically within the past decade.

It can really test a parent’s patience to remain calm when their kid is acting out towards them. Nevertheless, the worse thing for a parent to do is antagonize their kid, as way for them to answer you immediately, if you are sensing something happened with them. Just walk away and let them (or you) cool off a bit, then afterwards try to communicate with your child to see what the problem is, and maybe find a way to fix it.

However, if the child is still acting aggressive, sometimes professional help is needed, but the last thing a parent should do is retaliate in violence as well.

We have to keep in mind that whether aggression is part of our nature, or is a learned behavior; we can have control over our anger. The thing that separates us from the animals is that we have the gift of free will. There is a line between calmness and anger; it is our choice, which one we want to choose when faced with a stressful situation.

 

Written by: Bridget Campos

Links:  http://bridgetcampos.blogspot.com/

http://sahmanswers.com/news.php?readmore=726

My kids are both older teenagers but still live at home. For the last few weeks, they've stopped saying goodbye to me when they leave the house, even when I'm sitting within 10 feet of the front door. They just leave. Yesterday, they said goodbye to a friend (right in front of me) who was staying over, but still left without a word to me. I take that back - they did say something to me, my son popped back in to ask me for a new chair! I told him that it greatly offended me that they would ask me to buy something but not bother to show the common courtesy of a goodbye, but today - not a word again and I was sitting right there.

 

Do I tell them it makes me sad? That I feel like they think I'm not important enough to bother with? When I think about it objectively, I realize it shouldn't make me feel so bad, but it really does. What should I do?

I am a single mother and have 4 children. My 9 year old son messes himself daily. I am not sure if he is being lazy, doesnt want to miss out on the action that is going on where he is at or what the heck his deal is but I am tired of dealing with this. What i mean by messes is that he just goes #2 in his pants, its daily that he has some type of mess in his pants but today topped it all for me and I am at wits end with this child.  We were at my boyfriends house and i smelled something. I asked my son to go outside and he says i have to use the bathroom first, this is his way of trying to go clean himself up before i find it, well i drug him outside and sure enough, there is crap in there. so we ended up calling it a night and i drove him yelled for about 10 mins about how tired i am of this. He is an amazing kid just wont stop doing this.  I have threatened to take him to the dr and get medication, that didnt work, i am taking his bike away for a week. I dont understand and why do i have to deal with this daily. 

 

does anyone have any advice or knoiw where i can go to get some.  I am 2 steps away from dropping him off at his fathers house and saying here have a kid but his father hasnt been in his life ever so that wouldnt be a good thing to do.  I am just really tired of this.

My fiance's 16yr old son came to live with us recently.  His mother has been in an abusive relationship with the same man for about 13 years.  The last 5 years my fiance has been able to kinda get to know his son, Mom has custody and really doesn't abide by the court order visitation. About a year ago his son mentioned that he wanted to come live with Dad but never had the nerve to tell mom.  The summer came around and Dad picked up his son for what was supposed to be his 3 week visitation time and mom made a huge stink about it.  Mom did not want  her son to be with his dad, she wanted to send her son to nyc to spend the summer with her boyfriends family, but he wanted to go with his dad so he left with his dad anyway.  While he was with his dad, 16 yr old breaks down and tells his dad all about the abuse going on in mom's house, and that he doesn't want to go home. Dad tells his son if this is what he really wants he will get a lawyer and put everything we have to help him stay.  So we do......then mom talks with her son and convinces him to go back home.  So after we give a Lawyer $$$ his son decides to go back home.  We send him home... about two weeks later while he is visiting the boyfriends family in nyc,  he gets some disturbing, threatening phone calls from moms boyfriend.  The 16yr old calls his dad and uncle crying that he was scared to go home and did not want to go back.  He is then advised by his dad that if we proceed AGAIN with a lawyer that he could not change his mind because he does have two other siblings that we have to care for and are going to be financially affected, once again if we proceed with the lawyer, and that its not fair to them, and there are no refunds. He was asked to really think it over if he really wants to come back we will buy him the plane ticket.  The mom's boyfriends sister tells my fiance's son that he should really go live with dad, he should not be in that enviornment. She also calls my finace and advises him about what is going on and that she feels his son should go stay with him.  His son calls him back and says he does not want to go home to mom and wants to come back to dad.  So again we proceed with the lawyer.... he has been with us for the about 3 wks and he has been getting phone calls from mom convincing him things are better now & moms boyfriend called and apologized for what he said, so now he is saying he is home sick and wants to go home.. Should his dad make him stay or let him go.  Dad is really hurt, and he is worried about sending his son back to that house.  Although his mom has four other kids with this man, he is worried about how things may turn out for his son .......PLEASE HELP WITH SOME ADVICE.

Yes 100% 9 yrs old is to young to start dating.  A reasonable dating age should (in my opinion) & some people may or may not agree but i'd make it "18". Were you seriously thinking about 9? That's to young to even talk to a boy over the phone, if you ask me..

My 9yr old started football this year.  He has practice every M,Tu, and Thur with games on Saturdays.  My husband also coaches his select baseball team and has him practicing Wed, Thur and sometime on weekends.  They play in tournaments on the days they don't have football games.  My son also started school today.  I think it will be overwheliming for him to focus on school with both football and baseball going on.  I don't even like the fact that he does not have a day off.  I brought it up to my husband and told him we will have to let go of baseball until football stops.  He disagrees with me and tells me that our son will be fine.  He argues that he doesn't want him to stay at home doing nothing, eventhough we both know he will be doing football for 4days out of the week.  He dismisses the situation and just tells me "I don't want to go there".  I'm frustrated that he cannot see how he can burn our our son and mess with his school focus.  Am I exagerating or do I have a valid point in asking him to lay off baseball for a while?