Topic : General Advice

Quote From: missymac

Hello everyone.  This is my first time....so here goes!  I am a 35yr old married Mom of 3.  16yr old girl,10yr old boy and 8yr old girl.  The problem is that my 16 yr old decided to get pregnant!!  Now she is 4mts along.  A little background about me and my hubby...we have been together for 21 yrs!  Since Jr. H.S. He was 13yrs old and I was 14yrs old.  We have had lots of ups and downs.  Oh yeah...we have been married 15yrs. on November 23.  Anyway...we gave our daughter permission to date her boyfriend last yr. when she was 15 and he was 18.  Soon after, I took her to her Doc and put her on the pill.  I was afraid they would eventually have sex, even if we told them to wait....which we did.  It was discussed by all of us.  They promised they would wait, well they didn't.  She lost her virginity the very next day after she started her pills.  She lied for months.  I knew she was pregnant before she did!  I am still trying to keep her in school ( she has no ambition and wants to quit) I won't let her.  She is making the rest of us miserable.  She wants to move out, I won't let her.  We have a garage apt. and we let her move out there.  She thinks she is grown and shows me more and more evryday how irresponsible she really is.  The only reason she goes to school is because I make her go.  She hates me, we do not get along at all.  Of course I had her at a young age (19) and I wish I new then what I know now!  But I didn't and cannot change that now.  She doesn't think that her Dad and I are fair when it comes to the disipline of her brother and sister compared to her.  We are totally different parents to them...then we were to her at that age.  I try to explain that we all change as we grow and that unfortunately because her Dad and I chose to get pregnant at a young age....she basically grew with us....we went wrong somewhere though....cause now we are gonna be the youngest grandparents we know!  I really want what is best for our daughter and grandchild.  There is no judge in the world that would see fit to emancipate her and I don't wnat to let her go anyways.  She has to stay with us until she is 18...but she will not be graduated form HS yet.  If she leaves when she is 18, I know she wont finish school.  I am pushing her further away by making her do things she doesn't want to do....ie, go to school, wash dishes, fold laundry, do homework, and be home by 9pm on school nights...she has until 1am on Fridays and Saturdays.  I am at my wits end with her. I am scared to death she is going to hate me forever and i can't handle that....there is much more to tell, but I think this is enough for all to chew on at the moment....please....let me hear from someone who has been there and done that....Thank you for your support in advance........worried Mama

Quote From: deanrose

I am happy to say that I have finally settled on an agreement with my parents (well with my dad anyway). I talked to him seriously about it, and he explained to me that if my mother won't approve of me buying the Jaguar XKR, then I can't buy it. Fine. I accepted that and chose not to argue. I have found out that arguing with this situation is becoming pointless and only keeping me away from being able to drive a car. He told me that if I loved Jaguars so much that I could choose a less expensive model. I never really thought of that till now. Ok so maybe I won't get my original choice, but atleast its a Jagaur. I decided on the 2006 Jaguar S-Type 4.0. Yes, I know its not as beautiful as the previous one, and I know its not as sleek and sexy. But its still overall a pretty nice car. Even more, its A LOT less expensive than the previous one. The dealer said the total price was about $68,875. That is about $20,000 less than the previous model. I actually think its a very nice and classy car. Maybe not a convertible like the previous one, but hey its better than a LEXUS. My dad said he would make that my christmas gift, and said I would have to wait until then to buy it. Sounds fair to me. I'm glad we finally came to a conclusion. It was about time. It was rather pointless to haggle over something that apparently I wasn't going to get. I talked to my mom about it, and so did my father and she agreed (although she looked like she wanted to cry and say no at first, lol). I think both parties won. I got my end of the deal in the sense that I got a Jaguar, regardless of the model. And, my mom got her end of the deal in the sense that she wanted me to choose a less expensive car. I'm also pretty sure my dad is relieved from being screamed at by me and my mom. I learned that by making sacrifices and negotiating, everyone can come out satisfied. Also, thanks to everyone who took the time to offer their opinions. I appreciate it very much. I'm glad its finally settled. Oh yeah and to the lady who said she hoped my mom would divorce my dad if he bought me the car, well, apparently she isn't going down to her lawyer or the courthouse anytime soon. ;) Good luck!!! Dean Rose (I apologize about the grammar and punctuation mistakes!)

Quote From: missymac

Hello everyone.  This is my first time....so here goes!  I am a 35yr old married Mom of 3.  16yr old girl,10yr old boy and 8yr old girl.  The problem is that my 16 yr old decided to get pregnant!!  Now she is 4mts along.  A little background about me and my hubby...we have been together for 21 yrs!  Since Jr. H.S. He was 13yrs old and I was 14yrs old.  We have had lots of ups and downs.  Oh yeah...we have been married 15yrs. on November 23.  Anyway...we gave our daughter permission to date her boyfriend last yr. when she was 15 and he was 18.  Soon after, I took her to her Doc and put her on the pill.  I was afraid they would eventually have sex, even if we told them to wait....which we did.  It was discussed by all of us.  They promised they would wait, well they didn't.  She lost her virginity the very next day after she started her pills.  She lied for months.  I knew she was pregnant before she did!  I am still trying to keep her in school ( she has no ambition and wants to quit) I won't let her.  She is making the rest of us miserable.  She wants to move out, I won't let her.  We have a garage apt. and we let her move out there.  She thinks she is grown and shows me more and more evryday how irresponsible she really is.  The only reason she goes to school is because I make her go.  She hates me, we do not get along at all.  Of course I had her at a young age (19) and I wish I new then what I know now!  But I didn't and cannot change that now.  She doesn't think that her Dad and I are fair when it comes to the disipline of her brother and sister compared to her.  We are totally different parents to them...then we were to her at that age.  I try to explain that we all change as we grow and that unfortunately because her Dad and I chose to get pregnant at a young age....she basically grew with us....we went wrong somewhere though....cause now we are gonna be the youngest grandparents we know!  I really want what is best for our daughter and grandchild.  There is no judge in the world that would see fit to emancipate her and I don't wnat to let her go anyways.  She has to stay with us until she is 18...but she will not be graduated form HS yet.  If she leaves when she is 18, I know she wont finish school.  I am pushing her further away by making her do things she doesn't want to do....ie, go to school, wash dishes, fold laundry, do homework, and be home by 9pm on school nights...she has until 1am on Fridays and Saturdays.  I am at my wits end with her. I am scared to death she is going to hate me forever and i can't handle that....there is much more to tell, but I think this is enough for all to chew on at the moment....please....let me hear from someone who has been there and done that....Thank you for your support in advance........worried Mama

Quote From: vixsen927

Thank you for answering my message. My Brother was the same way he wet the bed up till he was about 7 or 8. I wish there was something I could remember they done but I cant seem to remember anything. He eventually grew out of it though. It may not be much consulation but the only advice I can think of is just to support him and try not to chastize him for it I believe he will grow out of it but I wouldnt want him to feel bad either. Im sure its really embarising for him. Their self esteem is so easy to hurt at such a young age.

Quote From: tray00

I am not sure what to offer you for advice, but I wanted to share this with you.  This little boy I used to babysit, he was 5 used to blow on his fingers.  I am not sure if he still does or why, but I wanted to share that with you as it is quite simalar. 

Quote From: alucky1

I'm very sorry that you're going through such a difficult time.  I know as parents we do that best we can to shield our children from the world.  I had my daughter when I was 17 years old and boy have I learned a lot.  My advice to you now would be to be a friend to her. She's going to be a mom and has no clue of the HUGE responsibilities that come along with that title.  As women, we experience lots of changes in our bodies and hormones during pregnancy, so try to keep that in mind as you talk to her.  I was very lucky in having my parents as my best friends during my pregnancy.  I do have to tell you though, I worked for everything I have and for everything I gave and still give my daughter.  They warned me about a million things but I ultimately made my own decisions.  They didn't give me ANYTHING except for moral support.  I'm grateful for that, I learned the hard way but with guidance. 

Quote From: parents

My new LEXUS IS 06 will blow the doors off your puny jag. Son.