Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 2089
New Messages This Week: 3
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:46:09 pm
Author : dataimport

Have a question or problem concerning your child? Share advice and support with other parents.



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February 10, 2006, 11:33 am PST

sports

Quote From: mazes3

 I have a seven year old son. My husband and I would like him to be in sports, but our son does not want to. We feel sports is good because of team work, being with other kids, and excercise. So for the past three years we make him pick one sport each year to join. He has done basketball and soccor. He don't want to do it but he does. Should we continue to make him pick a sport each year or let up on him?
I know where you are coming from. Sports are wonderful for kids to be involved in. I have 3 children two boys and 1 girl.  My boys love sports, they  are always playing something. We go sport to sport. My daughter doesn't  at all. We used to make her participate when she didn't want to and she didn't give it her whole heart while out there playing, she hated going to practice and hated the games. It wasn't fair to her for us to force that upon her. All kids are different. We just wanted her to be healthy, active and social. So to compromise we told her if she wasn't going to play a sport she needed to join some sort of club. She loved the idea and is much happier and very active at school and doing great.  We have seen some of our friends kids that are pushed into sports, and they get real burned out and tend to be overwhelmed and unhappy, and don't do well in school. He will feel better if he has a choice and not forced into doing something that his heart is not in. And you will feel better also that he is happy. And who knows if he has a choice he may play sports when he is ready.   Good luck to you!!
 
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February 11, 2006, 12:50 pm PST

my childs friendships

Hi everyone.  I am trying to think of a way to help my child make and keep friends.  I recently started taking him to Awana's at a local church every Wednesday night.  He seems to enjoy it.  I am a single mom, 31, never married, he is 8.  In the past few months I have made play dates with kids from his class.  I am finding that the kids do not want to play with my son as he gets bossy.  For example, today I called a kid that he has played with before and asked him if he wanted to play with my son.  He said No.  I asked why and he said that my son would tell him to go in the living room so he could play Xbox, my son did not want to go out and play but instead wanted to stay in his room while the other kid went outside and my son tried to take home his Star Wars sword.  How do I fix this?  I started to talk to my son about it and he just kept coming up with excuses.  I told him that he has to take responsibility for what he does.  How do I help him?
 
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February 11, 2006, 6:26 pm PST

General Advice

Quote From: a21697

Hi everyone.  I am trying to think of a way to help my child make and keep friends.  I recently started taking him to Awana's at a local church every Wednesday night.  He seems to enjoy it.  I am a single mom, 31, never married, he is 8.  In the past few months I have made play dates with kids from his class.  I am finding that the kids do not want to play with my son as he gets bossy.  For example, today I called a kid that he has played with before and asked him if he wanted to play with my son.  He said No.  I asked why and he said that my son would tell him to go in the living room so he could play Xbox, my son did not want to go out and play but instead wanted to stay in his room while the other kid went outside and my son tried to take home his Star Wars sword.  How do I fix this?  I started to talk to my son about it and he just kept coming up with excuses.  I told him that he has to take responsibility for what he does.  How do I help him?
I have a seven year old son and here is my advice. When you schedule playdates at your house supervisor the playdate. Be within ear shot and help your child as you supervisor. Show him how to take turns with the other child, to give and take. One gets to pick what they want to do and play that for say 30 min. and then the other child picks some thing and play that for 30 min. You need to help and guide them when they are this age to show them how to be friends. This is still a young age to form friendships and they need lots of help. Good Luck.
 
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February 11, 2006, 7:35 pm PST

Best friend moving away

    Hi, 

         I could use some help here. My 9 year -old  daughters best friend will  be moving from NY to Florida this summer. The friend's parents have not officially told their daughter that they will be moving for certain, although they have told me. They don't want to upset their daughter until things are finalized. This has put me at a disadvantage in speaking openly with my daughter who has only recently acknowledged that her friend might  move away soon. 

         These girls are super close and spend alot of time together. My daughter cries whenever this topic comes up. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I might soften the blow ?Also, the family has already mentioned to my daughter the possibility of them buying her airline tickets to visit periodically....something I really am not comfortable with...from the standpoint of her traveling alone. Thanks so much 

 
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February 12, 2006, 2:23 am PST

General Advice

Quote From: shaylyn

    Hi, 

         I could use some help here. My 9 year -old  daughters best friend will  be moving from NY to Florida this summer. The friend's parents have not officially told their daughter that they will be moving for certain, although they have told me. They don't want to upset their daughter until things are finalized. This has put me at a disadvantage in speaking openly with my daughter who has only recently acknowledged that her friend might  move away soon. 

         These girls are super close and spend alot of time together. My daughter cries whenever this topic comes up. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I might soften the blow ?Also, the family has already mentioned to my daughter the possibility of them buying her airline tickets to visit periodically....something I really am not comfortable with...from the standpoint of her traveling alone. Thanks so much 

personally...because i have such regrets about the past...about losing these really good friends due to the fact that i moved...so first they can stay in contact via msn...they can talk via webcam or just with a mike/speakers over msn messenger (or probably any other instant messaging system). also they can call each other a lot and write emails and letters. they can give each other pictures and exchange something that's significant to each of them. and the airline thing...i think you should set a date once every year or every two or three years just so they can have something to look forward to and make sure you keep that promise. 

  

im saying all that above because i think genuine friendships are so precious and ive always regretted losing several genuine friends because i moved and lost touch. 

 
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February 13, 2006, 6:38 am PST

gaming addictions

Does anyone out there have family members addicted to the computer games?  My 25 year old son is on the computer 12 hours a day. he works the minimum to get by and is disinterested in anything else. It is very sad to see.  Even though he is an adult I feel responsible. He is missing life.
 
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February 13, 2006, 7:41 am PST

child support & Being a father

  I am not getting child support from my exhusband the city is not doing anything. I have court papers saying that he is supose to pay child support every month. And he is not doing that. This man has not seen our daughter since she was three. He doesn't call or write or send any birthday cards or christmas presents. He has my mom and dads address from when I was living there.  

 
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February 13, 2006, 7:47 am PST

I have a 12 year old who is addicted to video games

Quote From: madmam

Does anyone out there have family members addicted to the computer games?  My 25 year old son is on the computer 12 hours a day. he works the minimum to get by and is disinterested in anything else. It is very sad to see.  Even though he is an adult I feel responsible. He is missing life.
I am worried that he is not getting enough fresh air and not getting enough excurcise. Every time I go over there he is always playiong video games. If I take him some place I have to sit there and wait until he is done playing it gets frustrating sometimes.
 
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February 13, 2006, 12:05 pm PST

Making Fun Of Boys Totally Fair.

I never thought I'd say that there's a downside to not being oppressed. No, I don't want to be stripped of my job, my salary, my degree, my right to vote or any freedoms I enjoy. I do want to be able to explain to a 9-year-old boy in terms he will understand why I think it's OK for girls to wear shirts that revel in their superiority over boys. The T-shirts became an issue when my son, Alexander, begged me to buy his dad an "I beat your mom at Mario Kart" shirt as a testament to my poor video game skills. Ha, ha, ha. I struck back and suggested we buy his sister a shirt that said "Boys are stupid." "That's so offensive," Alexander complained. "Why are they so mean? You have to write about it." In general, I support a girl's right to offend any member of the opposite sex who happens to cross her path. In fact, I'd much rather see a little girl wearing a shirt that mocks boys than one that turns them on. That's not a conversation I'm willing to have with a 9-year-old, though, so I used the equality argument instead. Maybe tomorrow's women will be propelled further faster if they obliterate the inferiority complex that apparently persists in some girls, especially when it comes to subjects like math and science. This "boys are stupid" thinking could lead to the obvious conclusion: Girls are smart. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to bring this home to a boy who lives in a world full of bright and successful women, including his teacher, principal, doctors and even the governor. His parents both have female supervisors and so does he. That would be me. In Alexander's eyes, I'm the primary authority figure. He could be sitting six feet away from his dad and he'll still get up to find me in another room to open a container, help him with his homework or answer a question, except, of course, if it deals with video games. My second-in-command is his bossy little sister, whose powerful personality forces all of us to bend to her whims and wiles. So don't try telling Alexander that it's women who need to catch up. In his world, it's the men who are lagging behind. It's not fair, he says, because everyone knows that boys are smarter than girls. Uh-huh ... And he wonders why I support a girl's right to put boys in their place. ;) -Ronda
 
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February 13, 2006, 4:43 pm PST

Still having this problem?

Quote From: tray00

My son will be 9 in October.  He wets the bed everynight.  Occassionally when he sleeps over at friends houses, he does not wet the bed. 

 

I have tried stopping drinks after 6pm.  Getting him to go pee before he goes to bed.  I have also woke him up to go pee when I go to bed (around 11pm) He has either allready peed or still wakes up wet.  I have even gone as far as the medication prescribed by doctors.  That didn't work either. 

 

Every night he wears pullups to bed.  (I have to buy the Good nights as the sizing is bigger, and they are more expensive) This morning he went right through his pull up and we are washing his sheets. 

 

I am so tired of washing clothes and smelling pee in his room.  I do not scold him for this, but I have started making him do his own wash and making up his bed when it is all clean.

 

My 5 yr old thinks that he needs to wear pull ups as well.  I tell him he doesn't need to but he says his brother does so he wants to. ANd occassionally he will wet the bed as well. 

 

I occasionally wet the bed when I was young, (as an older child, amybe up til I was 11) But not every night.  This is driving me crazy!  Sometimes we don't have any pull ups, as I refuse to by them at $20 a bag, (you know 2 days before pay day). I will not buy one of those electrice shockers, that shocks them when they pee in thier sleep........

 

Basically I don't think any one can help us, he will just have to grow out of it, but I needed to vent....Thanks for listening!

I also grew up as a bed wetter, until I was 14 years old. I didnt realize it until I was in my late 20's that the reasons for why I was a bed wetter was because of all the moving around to different places and the changes in my life. One thing that helped me stop was when I got my own room. I always had to share with my older sister. Having my own space to do what I wanted when I wanted seemed to make all the difference.   

I realize that I have posted this a while after your origional post, but I thought I would share my experience with you as well. 

Take Care and Good Luck 

Jessica 

 

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