Topic : General Advice

I would most definetly be putting my foot down and stickin to my guns. These people should never be left alone with the kids again and your husband needs to confront them and make sure they know this is unacceptable. I would also document all this and document the conversation with them as well. Thankfully you are not around these people much and the times you are, stand guard.............. probably not a bad thing that your husabnd wants to talk tot he therapist, he can probably give some good advice and leadership here, but whatever, you have the right to protect your kids and these people do not have the right to be around them if they are abusive, your kids deserve to be happy and safe and it is your responsibility as a parent to provide this for them.

I hope someone can give me some good advice because I am at my wits end.  I am a stay at home mother of a 3 year old.  I worked 2 nights a week until she was 2 1/2, but now I am home full time.  The problem is that she hardly wants anything to do with her father.  If he and I are in the same room/place with her, she will always come to me for whatever it is she needs.  If she is hurt or upset, she always comes to me.  If my husband tries to play with her or hold her, she gets extremely upset (most of the time) and doesn't want to be with him.  The worst part is that she then runs to me yelling "mommy".  I know part of the reason she acts this way is because she is with me most of the time.  But is this normal?  Is this just a phase she is going through? I know this hurts him a lot.  I know I would be devastated if it happened to me.  This situation is causing a huge strain in our marriage.  He says that I need to be harder on her - to make her go to him.  We argue about this a lot and I'm very upset by this.  He blames me for her behavior because, as he said, I don't do anything about it.  That isn't true.  I purposely leave the room or if we are out, I leave them alone so they can have time together.  I often ask her to play with papa.  I don't feel like I should have to force her to be with him.  My daughter is a happy child, but I want her to be just as happy with her dad as she is with me.  Any advice would greatly be appreciated.

my son is the same way with his dad lately. I too am home withhim 24/7. I make it a point of sending them out together in the evenings and on the weekends. That does seem to help. He still prefers me at home,but at least than they get some 1 on 1 time too.

 I will try to keep this brief.

 

My son, 32, met a girl, 29, over a year ago. She has a 3 year old dtr.

 

After dating for a few months, they decided to think about marriage and family. More time goes by and she realizes she still loves her ex. My son is heartbroken, but deals with it.

 

A couple of weeks goes by and on X-mas Eve she called and announced she is pregnant with my son's baby and wants to get back together with him. He was thrilled and life was good.

 

Then comes Easter and after dinner she said she was going to visit a friend. She did and never came back. She did call me after a few day to let me know she was ok, but never called my son.

 

Finally 3 weeks ago she called and told my son that the baby will be delivered via c-section on the 23 of this month and what hospital so he could be there, ( about a 2 hour drive away).

 

Today she tells him that now she will have her ex/ once again current boyfriend in the delivery room and that my son can come afterwards to see his baby. This did not set well with my son and he did hang up on her.

 

She then called me wanting to know why he got so upset (duh), so I explained that he really wanted to be there for the birth of his own child! She says she wanted the other guy there cause he doesn't upset her and is afraid my son will. I told her that it isn't about her or him, it is about this baby and that I am old fashioned enough that I believe the 2 natural parents should be there for the birth, first and foremost. At the end of our conversation she agreed that he did deserve to see the birth of his baby, but that after the birth she wanted to see her current guy. (understandable)

 

I spoke with my son after all this and he agrees that if he is upsetting to her, then maybe he shouldn't be in the room, but he doesn't want the other guy there either. But he would like to be in there if possible.

 

Problem is, my son holds alot of anger towards this other guy and I see a train wreck a commin'! My son is ready to blow! He doesn't want this guy anywhere in his sight. While most of his anger is towards the girl, there is alot toward the guy.

 

 The girl has also made it clear that my son can visit his child when he wants, but because she plans on breastfeeding for 15 months ( same as with her dtr.), my son will have to come the home that she reside's in with this other guy and just "deal with it".

 

No matter how you look at it, not a good situation. For the record, yes, there is going to be a DNA test done. While the girl is "sure" my son is the dad, she has admitted that she was still sleeping with the other guy alot of the time that she was with my son.

 

My son has only been serious about one other girl in his life, but this is the one he really wanted to have a child with and marriage, so he is just a mess over all of this.

 

Time is running short and I am very worried about the immediate future. Any ideas?

 Dr. Phil

I watched your show today about the rageing mother..... and it worries me. I have one child and i don't it her or any thing but I get angry easily and I yell at her. I feel really badly after I do it but I don't know how to stop...... I don't yell at her like Karen yells at her children like swearing and calling names but I do yell...

PLEASE help

i would just like to say people need to be a little more tolorent of eachother on such an issue.  I think what works for some kids will not work for every child.  I think some kids will do fine wihtout ever being spanked and others need to be to get the the messege of a consequince.  Either way id accepatable as long as the perent gets positive results.  There is a big difference between beating a child and spanking when they do wrong.  myself.  i do my best to let my son know what exactly he did wrong and the consequince for it,  i wat until i am no longer frusterated and make sure he knows what the spanking is for.  As for time out and getting him interested in other things,  well it has no effect on him.  he could care less.  However for a child that is less stubborn i'm sure a less drastic methode would be fine.   Just remember there is a big differnce between spanking and abuse.  as long as the parents are calm and show planty of love and attention when the child shows good behavior.

Hi

im new.

I have twins, a boy and a girl. They are 14 months old. Ive tried everything to get them to sleep through but they dont. They wake up about 6 times each a night. Is there any advice out there that will work

 

Please

 

My children- all three of them- still mostly come to me when they need/want something or need help. It is because I spend more time with them, plain and simple. it’s a shame that your husband is accusing you of turning her against him!! Why would you do that- those are his insecurities talking. Your child is only 3, but if you begin to leave the home a couple of times a week, just for an hour or two, for them to spend time playing, etc., then she will ‘warm up’ to him.
 

I have a five year old boy who sometimes goes into his older sister's room and takes her bra and panties and I catch him in his room wearing them.  I ask him why he does this but all he says is I don't know.  I don't yell or fuss him but I would really like to know why he does this.  What should i do?