Topic : General Advice

I take it you are not involved in a relationship at this time?  I was lucky to find someone, I have been with him for 14 yrs. Since my baby was 1 1/2 yrs old.  My son never called this guy dad until he was 6 (when we got married) That could be the differnce as to why my son didn't ask.   

I am not sure what to say?  Do you have pictures you could show him?  maybe he could call his dad?  Ask him why he doesn't come and see him?  I know you don't want to break his heart.  A couple years ago I got a letter back from my sons new wife she wrote it to both my son and I.  I never showed it to my son and I never will.  What a bag she is!  She told me that they didn't believe he was the father, and that it proves it because I slept around all the time.  I jsut about fell off my chair reading that!  And how can you write something like that and have a 14 yr old read that about his mom.  I do have to say he was my first and I didn't have a clue what I was doing or how to do it!  LOL  I did not sleep around.  If she would of said that to my face I think I would of socked her one!  Not that I am a violent person, but she was wrong to say that! 

I used to tell my son that his dad lived far away and show him pictures.   

I have to get the kids ready for school, and head to the gym so I will be back....TRAY 

dont take my word for the last word...this is just what i think...i dunno if its right or wrong. 

personally, i think that ur ex is an ass and if he really loved his son he wud spend time with him and would actually want to. plus he needs to figure out his problems before he gets really involved with ur son...u dont want some of those problems to rub off onto ur son right? 

now ur husband seems like a very nice guy and is the real dad here...who cares if hes not biological? anyone can stick their dick in some chick and reproduce. the big and real job of being a dad is the time they put into the child for a healthy future. i dont think ur ex deserves a son. i mean he doesnt keep promises to call and that sorta thing. wat a jerk. 

ur son is at a very important age. watch for any negative reactions if u do decide to discourage a relationship between ur ex and him. kids his age usually can turn really bad in about a school year so watch out for that. of course communication is very important so before u do decide to do someting you could maybe try to talk to him although his understanding will be limited. but u probly already know this cuz ur a parent and well im not 

My son has never seen his real father, ever.  I have been with my husband now since my son was almost 2.  I would do anything in this world for my son to be a part of his bio dad's life.  So of course I would suggest to you to keep the relationship going with your son's father.  Over the next couple years your son is going to turn into a teenager and go through puberty, there is going to be a lot changes in his life.  He is going to be trying to figure out who he is....he may go through alot  of friends to try and find out which style of friends he wants to hang with.  He may change his clothing style, hair style, ect 2 or more times!   

I would also ask your son what he wants, let your son make the decision and not you. (but don't lose his number incase one day you need it)  Your son may feel hurt if his real dad doesn't call, I would play that part by ear, see how your son feels about it, and if he wonders why his dad hasn't called in a month, say I am not sure why, why don't you call him.  Tell your son where to locate his number and use it when he wants to.   

My mom and dad split when I was 14, and let me tell you I had better things to do then phone my dad.  I wanted to hang with my friends and talk to them on the phone.  The other thing is I didnt' know what to talk about with my dad.  My mom never forced me to go see him, or call him.  But today as an adult I wish I called him more, I wish I went to see him more.   

IF that is his attitude and you really dont think he is going to make time of this and get a good start then I would take it all back.  Give him 2 months and if he doesn't have a job you are going to take everything back including the furnature - he won't have anywhere to live.  Be strong, because if you let him walk on you he will.  I know you love your son and don't want to see him in a bad place.  BUt you can't let him walk on you like that, he will just keep doing it.  Maybe even try some councelling for his low self esteem. make that a part of the deal....