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Topic : General Advice

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:46:09 pm

Author : dataimport

Have a question or problem concerning your child? Share advice and support with other parents.

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aloggerswife

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Worried

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worried

March 12, 2008, 9:34 am PDT

Aloggerswife

Quote From: oneofurfanz87

you should talk 2 them about it>>>>>
i would

Mom, While I understand that your son may well be thinking that if you say something to his dad, he will have to suffer the consequences. I'll relate to you what I told my 7 year old when a friend of his done something simular in his presence. If by chance and the chance is a big one that he is caught, that means that he was just as guilty as the other guy. Tell him that stealing is stealing no matter what way that you look at it and if either of them get caught, both will be in trouble with the law. It's called aiding and abetting. One knew what the other was doing. Please also tell him that by not saying anything to his father means that you approve of what they are doing and you do not. So, therefore, it is a situation that both you and your son need to discuss in much detail about the offenses of stealing. The point here is that you need to let him know that you don't want him doing the same thing and thinking that it is okay simply because she did not get caught. Most of all,{ do not get angry with your son}. Let him know that he can always talk to you no matter what the issue is and that you'll always have an open mind of what he has to say. To speak is a gift, to listen, understand and to work through it, is a great accomplishment. Good luck and God bless you.

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shmoopy

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Good

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March 13, 2008, 11:11 am PDT

r u nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote From: thesmitty

General Advice - You need to beat your kids ass! Not all the time. Just when they do something bad or disrespect you.

goodgosh do not listen to the above message, all u teach them then is violence and intolerance. i feel bad for that persons kids. they dont stand a chance.

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shmoopy

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March 13, 2008, 11:23 am PDT

trying times

Quote From: dcjckc

my 8 year old is acting out yells and tells us no and to shut up we can ground him and take special privaleges away from him and it does no good . when he is told to clean his room or take a bath he wll say i dont have to . when we send him to his room he will lock himself in the bathroom ... does anyone have any ideas what to do

is he picking this attitude up from one of you? or maybe kids at school treat him like that .onequick solution? take off the bathroom lock. try and find out WHY he does this, knowledge is power.when he says he doesnt have to just saywell, yah you actually do have to, didnt you read the contract??i do this and then my kid is laughing and getting in the shower or watever. sometimes humour works, but i know that since my kids were born they ways knew who ran the show, mom & dad!!!

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shmoopy

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March 13, 2008, 11:29 am PDT

you be the landlord now!

Quote From: tray00

I am having trouble with consequences???? My son is 15, he works full time during the day (for his summer holidays, back to school in the fall) He seems to think he can do what he wants, come and go when he pleases. He will leave the house when he gets home from work, and we tell him to be back shortly as supper is being prepared. He doesn't call or come home until bed time. Last weekend he didn't even come home.

What can you do do get him to take us seriously? Take his skateboard away? But what if he used his own money to buy it? Can I take it away when it is his? (he bought it with his money he made by working)

I need some suggestions on consequences.....Please help! Thanks!

well easy peasy if he's treating your home like a flophouse charge him rent!

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kayrkay

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Stressed

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March 13, 2008, 4:16 pm PDT

Jekyl & Hyde 3 Year Old

My husband and I are 55 and 54 years old. We recently received from the court system, custody of all three of our grandchildren. The problem is the three year old. She is very intelligent and articulate for her age, very sweet and loving, obeys without question, when she is with us. The problem is when she goes for an overnight visit with her mother. Her mother calls us complaining that the child will not listen to her, talks back, will not cooperate with her in any way. When bed time rolls around, she will not go to sleep, or will go to sleep only to wake up in about 4 hours. She will cry and whine and throw temper tantrums sometimes for hours on end, while with her mother. When she comes back to us, there is an immediate change of behavior. She sometimes will still have a smart mouth or an attitude problem, but that disappears within hours and she is back to her sweet self the next morning. In our home, we have a set bedtime of 9pm for her and her 8 year old brother. She will sleep from 9 until 7:30 the next morning without so much as a whimper all night. She takes a nap everyday from 1pm until sometimes 3:30pm. Her mother can't get her to take a nap. When we ask her to pick up her toys or do something, there is no talking back and she complies without question. We have a great deal of fun with her wherever we go. Why is she so good for us, yet such a little devil for her mother, who she obviously loves, because when we tell her that her mother is coming to get her, she squeals with delight and starts asking all kinds of questions about where she is going to take her and what they are going to do. And within 30 minutes of leaving our house, she turns into the little devil child. What could possibly be going through this child's mind? Is this her way of punishing her mother? Someone please shed some light on this disturbing behavior!

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kayrkay

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Stressed

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March 13, 2008, 4:25 pm PDT

General Advice

Quote From: shmoopy

well easy peasy if he's treating your home like a flophouse charge him rent!

Some consequences for a 15 year old could be changing the locks on the house the next time he leaves and does not come home for the weekend. Refuse him entry until he explains where he has been and what he has been up to and don't give him a key until his behavior improves. Refuse to sign for his driving permit until his attitude and behavior improve. Take away almost everything he owns and return the items one at a time as his behavior improves, whether he paid for it or not, it is your house and your rules. Make him pay room and board. Explain to him that if he wants to be treated like an adult, he will have to act like an adult and accept adult responsibilities and all that comes with it. These worked for our 34 year old when he was 15. When he no longer had access to a warm place to sleep and food anytime he wanted it, he changed his behavior.

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lisawhite

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Happy

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March 16, 2008, 12:39 pm PDT

Talking back

How can I get my son to stop being fresh. He just turned 8 years old, and I know it sounds like this should be a simple solution, but we have tried everything from time outs, removing all items in his room, taking away toys, taking away play dates with friends, you name it we have tried it. But he still talks back, literally will mimic every word in an extremely fresh mouth. Will do this even in front of other people, we are getting to the point that we don't want to go out with other friends with children - knowing something will happen and it will become a situation with him. Any advice on other options of discipline? He can be a wonderful little boy, has great activities and does very well in school. I know he can be a great kid, but with us it's becoming brutal to deal with...

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mikeinneed

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Stressed

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March 17, 2008, 6:34 am PDT

What is everyones thoughts

I need help. My wife and I are most likely getting a divorce. I don’t want to get into many details, except I have done a few things to her that hurt her emotionally and made her not feel safe with me. That caused her to feel safe with someone else and I cought her cheating on me. So it has been a horrendous roller coaster. When it comes down to us divorcing she cant see herself being a part time parent (she is a homemaker). I can understand that. I can also see me not wanting to be alone either. We have been married over 12 years. What I need help on is what is everyone’s thoughts on this: She wants to live in the house when we divorce so she can be with the children, so she can be a full time parent. She will get a job, pay for bills and live in the basement. We discussed it a month ago and thought it was great but after thinking about it I don’t think it’s a good idea. I am not going to tell you guys my reasons why cause I want to influence anyone. So please tell me your thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike

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deeeel

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Happy

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March 17, 2008, 8:21 am PDT

Feeling unappreciated as a parent?

Does anyone feel they are either underappreciated, or unappreciated as a parent?

I found this to be a good example to illustrate that feeling...

http://www.gocomics.com/hubertandabby/2008/03/15/

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laura_c

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Stressed

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frustrated

March 17, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

General Advice

My son & his girlfriend are about to have a child. My problem is the girlfriend has a 7 yr old daughter from a previous relationship. The child lives with her grandparents. This child is disrespectful of her mother and everyone else. She doesn't mind anyone. To put it bluntly I don't like her. I know how horrible that sounds. My son has 2 daughters from a previous marriage that I adore. I also watch my grandaughtes cousin during the day. I love children I just don't like this one. Do I tell my son's girlfriend how I feel? I do not want to hurt her feelings as she is a lovely girl. I am afraid she will want me to watch her daughter this summer since she will have her then most likely while she works since I will be watching the baby and I simply do not want to. I am not even very excited about having a new grandchild because of her child. I know y'all must think I am just horrible but surely someone out there has met a child like this. What do I do?

Thanks

unhappy nana in IL

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